Bound By Chains
by beautifulramblingbrains
Summary: She's bound to a monster. And he has personality issues. (Eric x OC)
1. Chapter 1

A/N

 **This story portrays sensitive subjects with multiple trigger warnings.**

 **Read on with caution.**

Also a minor note, from the 16th of April '17, this story is under editing. :)

* * *

Sarah can hear them arguing downstairs. Well, not so much arguing, but strongly heated words. Abnegation didn't like confrontation.

Sitting straight with her hands balled in her lap, she waits, just like her two other sisters and her much younger brother. Unusually for a crowded room of typical youngsters, they don't play or barely move. The young boy, Thomas, who is seven, sits with a toy truck, rolling the wheels methodically backward and forwards. Sometimes he would hum for the engine but it was barely audible and when he did, he would look at her with an expression of guilt.

Sarah's father's voice is louder and booms up the stairs, capturing everyone's attention in the room. "Sarah is the oldest. She doesn't have much choice. I tried speaking to the council but it's our family name and apparently a completely acceptable place to pass initiation."

"She's just turned eighteen. She's only just accepted her place within Abnegation. It's unfair…" Her mother pauses, and Sarah can only imagine the exaggerated gasp in realization as she snaps, "What if she fails?!"

"She won't…"

The words drift eerily up the stairs into the cold, gray room lit by one dim bulb in the corner. They talk as if she doesn't exist. However, she is used to this kind of treatment by now, it's how Abnegation worked. They listened to their parents and didn't dare to defy them as they always knew best.

They would do what was best for her.

Her eyes drift to her younger sister sitting on the end of the bed. Mary sits very much the same way, her back locked straight and feet firmly on the floor. They catch eyes briefly and Mary smiles weakly at her, the apples of her cheeks lit in a tinge of gold.

Their face shapes were similar, round, with relatively rosy cheeks and blue eyes. But Sarah was blonde and Mary was a brunette. The youngest of the sisters was fiery red and couldn't be further from Abnegation if she tried. Bouncing curls fell from her bun, her posture slack on the desk chair in the room and she seemed bored, picking her nails.

This family meeting scenario was often. She would be lying if she denied the fact adrenaline and sheer dread didn't run her blood cold. But ignoring the impossible blatant nerves, she lifts her cheeks amicably back to her similar sister.

Their Mother's voice drops low in some sort of defeat. After all, she was the one who fell and broke her leg just in time for Sarah's initiation, putting everyone in this situation. "We are talking about Mr. Coulter, John. Not some half man of Candor…" As far as insults go, that was the worst. "This placement will fall under her initiation and if she fails, which is highly likely…" Sarah shifts on her words and Mary touches her hand for half a second while their sister, Lizzie, smirks at her. "…she will be factionless…our own daughter!"

"If any one of them can, it's her. We don't have a lot of choices here."

"He's impossible to around. Sarah's so innocent… this will destroy her. I've seen and heard things… I-I can't discuss them…"

Thomas holds the truck out to Sarah and she takes it, patting her lap for him to sit. She wonders briefly how the others will cope with her lack of presence in the day if what they are discussing downstairs comes into effect. Subconsciously she shakes the thought from her mind, stroking the flyaway hairs of her brother.

"Sarah!" they beckon to her from downstairs.

The young boy stiffens on her lap and her sisters watch her critically. "Take Thomas. And get ready for bed." Sucking in a full breath, she leaves the room quickly, descending the concrete steps towards the long dining table. Her mother sits with her leg propped on the bench, her father the opposite side to her.

They both barely make eye contact but she keeps herself composed and polite. "It's okay. Father can take me first thing tomorrow morning."

"I'm so sorry Sarah. If there was another way…"

There wasn't. Her Father and Mother ran all works on the Leader's suite, keeping the place pristine within Dauntless and the Leader's happy. It seemed to work until Mr. Coulter came into power, then everything seemed to become much harder and he only requested the same regular faces, mainly her mother, and made life hell for any others.

Whether her Father would admit it or not, he made his escape and left with the excuse of trying for the Abnegation council around the same time Mr. Coulter stepped up to the mark. But who was she to talk badly of her father's backbone...

With her mother now out of action for weeks and in time for initiation, she was the perfect substitute. No one else was dumb enough to do it and they hoped the connection with the family would be easier for her to transition.

His reputation preceded him.

"Can I go to bed? I'd rather be fully rested for tomorrow," Sarah asks, watching her parents nod.

She takes the stairs at a normal pace till out of sight and then quickly jogs the rest, finding her small box room and shutting the door quietly behind her. Within the confines of her room, she sobs, wordlessly, soundlessly. She'd have been better off in another faction. But it was too late now.

She was going to be factionless.

* * *

Sarah's father keeps a timely stride in front of her. She keeps her head down, willing to shrivel into the nearest hole and hide. Every now and again he would throw out advice or rules over his shoulder.

"You call him sir."

"You don't question."

"Don't touch anything without say."

"Everything is confidential."

The last one shocks her more than she'd like. "You are an object to them, not a person."

The full reality of the dire situation doesn't hit home until she sees the entrance to Dauntless. Black bodies run here and there around them, a guarded entrance with guns and harsh stares, loud voices and obnoxious taunts. "Stiffs." "Grays." Even harsh innuendos thrown her way. She just keeps her head down, staring at cracks on the floor and following her father quickly.

They stop in front of the guards where her father clears his throat. The Dauntless look him up and down threateningly like they were going to catch the Abnegation germ off him. "Sarah Bennett. Reporting to the Leader's suite."

There's a deftly silence and she lifts her head, catching eyes with one of them. His lip curls up and he seems to grab a radio on the front of his jacket, mumbling words into it. When he looks back he's fully amused. "We've been expecting you." Then he looks at her father. "Not you."

In true Abnegation fashion, he nods without argument. Sarah silently pleads him with a worried look, begging him not to leave her, not through the pit of Dauntless… The guards chuckle, obviously catching the flighty expression. "Listen, love. We ain't got all day. You going in or what?"

"I'll be back to walk you home." That's all she was going to get in comfort from the old man.

"Yes." She turns back to the guards. "I'm ready." They wave her through and she clamps her hands together in front of her, bracing for all the stares. She knew there would be other Abnegation here, but they would be used to it, not new meat and definitely not so jumpy and frightful as her. The Dauntless would be getting their kicks.

They walk her through a massive open area, glass above their heads and cavernous walls with stairways and walkways lacing above them. Fearing to get lost, she moves closer to the burly guard, but not too close. They walk militantly, taking the steps two at a time and Sarah can't seem to move quick enough. He was doing it on purpose.

When they get to an elevator, she guesses this is the way to the Leader's suite. She briefly wonders if it will be as cold up there as it is down here, and makes a mental note to wear an extra vest for tomorrow. – If she survives.

"Second floor." The guard tells her and she waits. "I'm not pressing the fucking button for ya. You got hands." He nudges her shoulder in passing, almost knocking her off her feet.

A faint heat of embarrassment and worry bristles on her chest, she was going to have weeks of this now. This was her initiation into Abnegation, the harshest of them all. Almost on par with punishment.

She slams the button harder than usual, waiting as the numbers above the door count down. The laughter and shouts were haunting echoes around her, she had no idea how anyone could possibly choose Dauntless. Every one of them had to be crazy or mentally impaired.

Thankfully the elevator is empty and she manages to get to the second floor without any incident. The doors open to a lavishly tiled corridor - no rock, grit or dirt in sight. A pristine desk with a lone woman behind eyes her suspiciously as she meekly approaches.

"I'm Sarah Bennett."

The woman looks down her clothes and back so blatantly she may as well of insulted her. "You're awfully young."

"I'm eighteen."

"Alright," the woman huffs, rolling her eyes. "I'm Clair. I'm the secretary to all the Leaders. My word is as good as theirs when it comes to it. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

The lady stands, taking an unexpected picture that blinds Sarah momentarily. "For your pass. Now, if you'd like to follow me."

She's led to a door with 'E. Coulter' engraved on a plaque. The lady turns as she's about to step through the door. "He's not here at the moment but you will wait... And you won't touch anything if you're smart."

Sarah nods and is then pushed into the room. "Good luck," says Clair, while shutting the door with a slam.

For a minute she takes everything in - blindingly spotless, a cupboard to one side, a desk with a computer lamp and a plush looking reclining desk chair. Opposite sits an ordinary plastic bucket seat obviously for guests. There's a green plant on top of a set of draws by the window and the blinds are half-mast.

It's a mix of gray, white and black with no personal items anywhere. The green from the plant is the only color. Strolling slowly to the spare chair, she sits down, entwines her fingers, and waits.

* * *

Sarah hears him before she sees him, the clomping boots and multiple voices, but his is the loudest. The door is most likely kicked open and she stands hurriedly, almost knocking the chair over and smoothes her skirt.

He stands heads taller than her, his shoulders filling the frame with a thick wodge of A4 paper notes in his hand. When he looks up his eyes are cold, disinterested and he gives her a tilted look. "Who are you?" His voice is deep, hinting on amusement that some imbecile has dared creep into his room.

"Sarah Bennett."

The other guards stop behind Mr. Coulter and seem to try and look over his shoulder, catching glimpses of her. She looks between them all and Eric clicks his tongue, following her eyes, he glances behind him. He steps more into the room and then shuts the door on them all without a word.

When he moves towards his desk there is a crisp sound from his jacket, his weight evenly distributed in his clomping boots. He licks his thumb, flicking through the paperwork and leaves her standing in the same position.

The seconds turn into minutes and she finally finds the confidence to clear her throat. "Do you need me… to do anything? ...Sir."

"I don't know, stiff. What are you good at?" He jots something down on the paper not even glancing up. "That's ten minutes you've already wasted now. You don't get to pass on staring or silence alone." Her cheeks flush furiously and he smirks to the paper.

"I'm waiting for your order, Mr. Coulter…"

"Ah, is that it?" He bites the top of his pen, sitting back, eyeing up the stockings on her legs. "…Okay. Water the plant."

Sarah knows that's not within the curriculum. He's toying with her like they all said he would. But an order is an order and he raises brow impatiently at her. "And where do I get water from? Sir." There's no sink or noticeable faucet she's seen on her way here. And she certainly didn't know if she was even allowed to wander around Dauntless unaccompanied.

He seems more interested now, leaning on his elbows and squinting at her. "I don't know, maybe you could spit on it?" The piercing above his brow glints and the black lines of his neck are more noticeable with him looking up from his desk.

She frowns and he seems to mock her expression. "I'm sorry, you want me to water the plant…by spitting on it?"

"Ridiculous, isn't it? You asked the stupid question, I found the most idiotic answer." Pushing up from his desk, Sarah watches his fingers skim across the top of the surface, just as he comes to a stop in front of her. He grips his hands in front of him and tilts his head to look down at her. "The average time it usually takes a stiff to ask me for an order is anywhere between an hour to three. You took ten minutes. Are we going to have trouble here?"

She won't look him in the eye, her blue orbs focussing on something other than him in the room. "No, sir. I like to keep busy is all."

"Good. Now to business…" Sarah blinks in confusion at him. "I have a few things I expect of you. Questions too. If you answer them correctly, I won't rid of you in the next five minutes." She nods once, so he continues. "Can you take orders without questioning their rationality?"

"Yes."

"So spit on the plant."

Sarah now meets his eye, they flicker between hers and he motions his head towards it, gleefully watching her plump cheeks turn pink.

Walking to the window, she grabs the pot, concealing her mouth with a hand and spits in it. Defiantly, she places it back.

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"No, sir."

"Do you prefer Dauntless or Candor?"

"Abnegation," Sarah answers and he frowns. "Abnegation is my faction and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." - Especially with what she's seen so far.

"Divergents?"

"They don't fit into our society."

He nods at her this time. Then he begins circling around her. "Read and write, can use computers and open minded to the use of mobile electronics?"

"All."

"Good." Moving to his desk he pulls out a phone from a drawer, sliding it towards her. "This is yours. You have one number, mine. Only I will call you on this and you will answer immediately, no matter the time or day. Usual hours will be seven till late, Sundays off, but I still may need you to come in, so don't just assume."

He studies her intently till she nods. "Everything you do, say or hear in this office, stays in this office. My actions are most likely to be enforced, so the likelihood of your Abnegation traits will detest me. But you are to keep that to yourself and don't question anything I do."

"Yes, sir."

Now he begins talking like he's reading from a script. "In appreciation of your servitude, you will be protected and bound by my name and position. You will take orders from no one other than myself and passed orders from Clair who, I guess, you have already had the pleasure of meeting. You will do as I say when I say it. And in doing so, you will pass your initiation without a problem. Break the conditions, I will make you factionless." From the same drawer, he pulls a colored blue piece of paper. "Sign here."

Whether he keeps the paper close to him and his hand fractions from hers for anything other than intimidating reasons, she'll never know or ask. But she can smell his aftershave mixed with something else as well as smoke. Sarah guesses he's a smoker from how it lingered on him.

She hesitates before signing her name, then looking up to his eyes, she asks, "Can I say something? ...Sir." He bites his lip, and nods. "I thought I was here to…clean… maybe some filing…"

Eric's slate eyes glint before he exhales slowly. "You were very much misguided then." Sarah stands rigid, hands clasped as per usual and stares at him expectantly. "Wait outside. Take in the scenery and get used to it. I have phone calls to make."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Sarah can feel her head bowing in tiredness, her legs aching from standing, the balls of her feet numb and hot. She briefly wondered if this was some sort of physical or mental challenge, but from his raised voice and every so often thumping on the table, she guessed otherwise.

Her stomach growled wildly too, and her mouth watered at the sandwich Clair ate behind her desk. Her mouth almost moving in sync with Clair's…

The door suddenly flies open and Eric storms out of it. "Stiff!" Is his only command and obediently she follows. "Hold this." He shoves a folder in her hands. "This is yours." The phone she had already forgotten about makes her cringe and she pockets it quickly. She stares ahead while they wait for the elevator in complete silence.

They step in and she turns her head to avoid the mirrors, hearing Eric mumble humorously under his breath. "Fucking stiffs…"

He leads her with curious stares from passers-by to the Mess hall. But that's where she stops, gripping the papers to her chest. She can't really be eating in there with...them.

"Now, stiff." Eric holds the door impatiently, glaring at her. Through the gap in his arm, she sees the rows of tables and sultry clad bodies inside. The hairstyles in there were just beyond her, and they jump around like crickets, table to table, shouting, swearing, pushing each other around.

"I'm not hungry, I'll wait…" she stammers, her eyes wide as a deer. Eric sniffs, wiping his top lip with his thumb before marching towards her, gripping her arm painfully and drags her. Abnegation didn't like touching at the best of times, and the force he uses has her stunned in silence. She's never been handled roughly in her life.

Pushing her forward, he keeps a grip on her bicep and whispers tightly over her shoulder for only her to hear, "You will learn…" He tugs on her when she doesn't respond straight away.

"Sorry, sir." Sarah didn't really know what she was apologizing for, it was an automatic trait.

"Now go sit with the others." He motions to the other five Abnegation members, yanking the papers from her hands and disappears into the crowd.

The other members here move up respectfully for her to join them. They are very much older and seem used to the noise and constant movement. They don't say anything, just share the food.

At least like this, she could pretend she was back in their quiet holdings.

* * *

Once she finishes, she drinks slowly from her cup, daring to look over her shoulder, something the others haven't done since she's been sitting there. She makes the mistake of landing on the loudest table, one of the members catching her inquisitiveness and nudges the person next to him. Sarah whips her head back to the table, silently cursing herself.

A heavy hand lands on her shoulder, making her flinch and automatically the Abnegation around her stand and quickly saunter off with their heads down. It never really crossed her mind at first, but she was the youngest, and female, and very much naive.

"Alright, stiff. Thought we'd join you. You looked awfully lonely."

She tries to stand but the hand pins her firmly down in her seat as the heavy Dauntless straddles one leg over the bench. The guy looks a few years older than her, and cut like the many men she'd already seen.

"Thanks, but I have to go…" She tries shrugging him off but the grip tightens, fingers digging into her skin through the thin fabric of her gray cardigan.

"What do you think of this one, Badge?" He speaks to his friend who seats himself opposite. Sarah's eyes slide across to him to try and memorize both of their faces if she needed to. "She's one hundred percent, that's for sure." She could only take guesses on what they were talking about. Shifting slightly, she tries to create a little distance as his legs bump against hers, something she wasn't comfortable with. "I give her two days."

"I think five, she's got a little fire in her I think, as far as stiffs go."

A shadow melts over the table and Sarah looks up gratefully to Eric glaring down at them. "Stiff," is all he says, and she stands, this time without any interruption and unhooks her legs from the bench. They only make it through the doors when Eric suddenly turns to her, shoving her shoulder. "What was that?"

She frowns, her mouth opening briefly in confusion. "Was what? Sir."

"That's going to happen a lot. Are you going to sit there and take it?" When she doesn't reply, he shoves her again, a little more harshly, uncaring for her small frame and probably delicate mind. "Well?"

"I…don't know… I've never been in that situation before. Abnegation are against open affection and-"

"Don't you think I know? I'm asking you a simple question." He shoves her again, watching as she tries to regain balance and pulling her gray cardigan back across her shoulder which is marred with pink furious skin from his hands.

"Please don't-"

"I do what I want with you. You are officially my property until I see a reason to get rid of you."

"But, I'm a person…"

His face drops and she instantly regrets it, swallowing thickly. That was not meant to fall from her lips. Her father's words had been playing on her mind, 'Not a person, an object.' Then his use of 'property' like he owned her.

His fingers splay a twisting grip on her wrist and he drags her with him, making for the elevator and shoving her inside when it calls. They don't get off on the second floor. They ride to the top, then following a set of stairs till they're out on the roof. The wind whips up pieces of her hair from her bun and she takes a step back in the fire exit doorway.

"Stiff!" he calls her towards him without looking.

Reluctantly, she finds herself directly behind him and he turns quickly, gripping her neck and walking her back towards the edge. "Let's get things straight. I do what I want with you." Her hand's scramble at his forearms, digging into his skin as his hold tightens. "I know you have two sisters and brother. If you can't get yourself straight with the general threat of yourself winding up factionless, maybe if we had something to do with their future, it will make you more compliant."

"This is nothing to do with them!" Her voice raises, high-pitched and despairing. It's exactly what he wanted, some sort of leverage. Her love for family will have to do. "It's my fault. Sir, please," she begs, unsure of exactly what she was begging for and also for what she had even done in the first place. "I'm sorry. Please…"

In all honesty, Eric would never leave her factionless. It was one more added to the rats. If he couldn't make her submit to him, then he'd most likely kill her instead and that would be a damn shame. With his hand around her scrawny neck and her begging plight, his dick twitched.

"Here's a piece of advice, _don't_ talk back to me. And next time you find yourself in that situation, you will say you are my property. Do you understand?" He shakes her. "I told you, didn't I, that you were bound by my position and I can't allow you to be undermined by anyone, especially since you'll be spending bountiful time with me and especially since you are now mine."

Sarah is sure she is now covered in bruises, but she reads the hidden message well regardless. "Yes, sir."

He pulls her back from the edge. "Oh and Sarah. Next time, I might not rescue you…" He shoves her, her feet buckling on the concrete and legs hitting the small wall as she topples over it backward.

She's tumbling down with a swift scream realizing at the last moment he's pushed her over the edge and most likely killed her anyway.

She's caught though by a net and bounces a few times, throwing her arms out either side to brace herself. Eric knew the net was there and was just screwing with her. Every threat she knew was real, though. This was just enforcing it, showing her how quickly he could rid of her if he really wanted to.

Sarah lets herself cry a little, from fright, from the situation, from now being classed as a working dog for Dauntless.

Why had her mother never warned her of the monster she was now tied to?

* * *

Probably as an act of more punishment, he has her stand outside his office. Clair would sometimes look at her but not say anything.

Sarah felt like she was back at school, being punished for talking and sent outside the class. No doubt he was trying to break her. And seemingly it was starting to work.

When the elevator rings from further down the hall. A woman strolls down in high heels and a small skirt, her boobs taut from the tightness of her top. Sarah tries not to stare.

"Eric in?" she says, completely unbothered why Sarah was standing there and she nods, not meeting her eyes.

The woman knocks, followed by a sharp "Yes?" from inside. Sarah watches her walk in, closing the door slowly.

Twenty minutes later she can hear them, the desk hammering the floor and muffled moans. Clair doesn't look up and Sarah wants nothing more than to walk away. He knew she'd be standing outside and fully able to hear.

The only thing she can do is block it out, humming to herself.

A half hour later the door opens and the woman walks out with Eric following behind her. His eyes watch her ass and he flattens out the disgruntled collar of his jacket. When she disappears in the elevator, he finally looks down at Sarah.

"Clean my office. Cupboard." And he sets off in the same direction.

The office doesn't really need tidying, but she opens the windows, finding disinfectant and spraying every possible surface. It was actually enjoyable, it was something to do, something to take her mind off of it and reminded her of being at home. Outside it's getting dark and she has no idea what the time is or whether her father would be waiting for her.

She hums loudly to herself. Realizing she's not going to get reprimanded, she lets the words spill from her lips, just like she would when cleaning the house with the help of her sisters. Singing was not an Abnegation trait, but she had heard a beautiful Amity woman sing on the streets as a child, fascinated by how everybody lost themselves and when she tried, her mother encouraged her. Then she began singing solo to her sisters in the bedroom before bed and now it was a habit.

" _My apple tree, my brightness, it's time we were together, for I smell the earth, and am worn by the weather… When my family thinks, that I'm safely in my bed, oh from morn' until night, I'm stretched at your head-"_

With her back bent over the draws near the window when the door slams behind her, she jumps, spinning, rag in hand. Eric's eyes are dark, matching the grayness of the walls.

"I'm sorry Mr. Coulter. I didn't-"

"You sing?" He breaks his intense stare and walks behind his desk, lobbing some sort of key clattering on the top that fills the silence between them.

"I try… It won't happen again…" Heading back to the cupboard because her face is flush and she's scared of another assault, she puts away the products. Turning to leave, she jumps back again, because he's standing directly behind her. For a big guy, he can be silent if he really wanted to be.

Eric expressively rolls his head around the small cupboard. "It's awfully cramped in here." Before meeting the blue frosting he described for her eyes. She can barely look at him and he figures it's to do with the small session he had in here earlier. He notices her hands tremble and at the same time, she grips them together, snapping him from his scouring. There are dotted bruises on her neck, barely visible fingerprints to the side that looked like blemishes, but they were from his hands. He smirks to himself at how easy it was to inflict damage on her and in a sickening way, he wanted to mark more of the pretty skin in front of him.

When he lifts his hand, she scrunches her eyes closed, bracing herself. Sarah feels his fingertips brush against her neck, gripping her stomach sickeningly, unforgiving for threats and multiple sores he had left on her in just one day. His index finger just reaches her collarbone, when he stops. "You can go."

She doesn't need telling twice. But he makes her brush passed him on her exit, turning her head and briefly wondering if he was going to change his mind.

"Mr. Coulter," she says in a brief farewell.

"Miss. Bennett."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for reading and my awesome Beta Mermelinchen. :)

* * *

After a few bleak moments lost in Dauntless, Sarah finally winds up outside, breathing in the cool evening air and trying to forget the man upstairs.

Her father isn't here, but she had expected just as much. She waits a little while longer till the Dauntless guards tell her she has to move on and can't be hanging around any longer.

It doesn't take long to get back to the similar cube buildings of Abnegation with the sweet sound of home crunching on the gravel beneath her feet. Most of the way, she was lost in her own thoughts. She had seen a world she didn't know, experienced things she'd never felt. And she had never been so scared in her life.

Sarah enters their small home to find the family sitting around the table, all staring at her when she doesn't move from the doorway.

"Sarah!" her Mother calls gleefully, motioning her over. "Well, don't just stand there. Come here!" Her mother pulls on her face the moment she gets to her, studying her and looking for marks without trying to make it obvious. Somehow, she misses the fingerprints on her skin. She puts it down to the weird orange lighting above the table, shadowing her pigment to the same tone.

"I'm sorry. I have no set time to finish. I think it's best if you don't wait for me." Not like they did anyway.

"How's Mr. Coulter?" Lizzie says from the end of the table, trying to cover her sneering smile with her spoon. Lizzie receives severe looks from the rest of the family and her mother taps Thomas.

"Go upstairs honey and get ready for bed." The little boy doesn't question, jumping off the bench and hopping up the steps.

"He's…accommodating." Sarah takes Thomas' seat next to her mother, grabbing a bowl and helping herself to the soup in front of her greedily. "And I need to speak to you, Mother. Alone."

"That's our cue," says her Father, motioning the girls to get up. "To the kitchen, please. Lizzie," he says and looks at the youngest sister with a frown, "You're on the dishes."

When they leave there's a moment of silence while Sarah can't decide what question to ask first. She's flabbergasted that there was a possibility he had treated her mother the same way as her and that's the question she starts with. "How does he treat you?"

"Like I don't exist."

"Did he ask you weird questions?" The soup glops back into the bowl when she plays with her food, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore.

"It was years ago. But basic questions, yes."

"He pushed me around a bit…" The words just tumble out unexpectedly and her mother stays quiet. She toys with the lumps of vegetables in her bowl, nervous to meet the attentive but questioning gaze next to her. "He pushed me off the roof."

The gasp that escapes her mother causes Sarah to drop the spoon. "He what?!"

Sarah folds her hands underneath the table, fiddling nervously and unable to meet her mother's eyes. "He pushed me off a roof into a net, saying I was his."

"What did you do to annoy him?" That was not what she was expecting, she was expecting a form of sympathy or comfort, except this was an Abnegation woman who took strong pride in her work with Dauntless. "…He's certainly never pushed me off a roof."

"Does it matter? He still pushed me. He's dangerous. Unpredictable…" She turns towards her mother, furrowing her brows. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her mother shifts her bad leg, wincing a little. "You never would've gone. I hope you know, if you can stick this out, you will be graded high in Abnegation. Maybe even stay at Dauntless-"

Sarah bristles, her chest heaving at the thought and a sweeping foreign anger rips through her. She wasn't an angry person at the best of times, she pledged her life to being selfless and strictly professional but the suggestive tone that this was somehow her fault crosses the line. "What? I don't want to work for Dauntless! I'm Abnegation!" She wants to add that if it wasn't for her stupid leg, she wouldn't even be in this situation anyway, however she doesn't.

"Honey, I was only saying it was a possibility. It's a highly sought after position. I bet many of the people here are jealous of you. This family is terribly proud of you, you know that?"

Sarah stays quiet, this conversation with her mother was pointless. A touch of her mother's hand has her heart wrench a little at the sour disassociation that she was her daughter and not some tool that would keep their name known. "Thanks for listening." She stands, grabbing at her cardigan. "I'm going to wash and go to bed. He's expecting me early tomorrow."

"Okay, dear. Remember, I love you."

But all Sarah can think of is faction before blood.

* * *

Sarah uses her new identity card to show the guards at the entrance, the same guard from yesterday with the smirky face and wandering eyes. He waves her through with not so much as a bad word, but it's a drastic, mocking courtesy wave.

She tries not to think much of it, quickly pushing her way through the pit, up the steps and towards the elevator to get to the Leader's suite.

Clair at the desk smiles faintly. The woman is no warmer really than what she had been yesterday. But it was only a few weeks in her judging company and all of this could be forgotten, along with the thought that any of these people existed.

Faced with the door plaque in front of her, she knocks lightly.

"Yes?" The same clipped tone he always uses makes her heart race. Taking a breath, she pushes the door open quietly. Eric is not alone.

"Mr. Coulter," she greets him, still hovering by the door. Her sight lands on the person in the plastic bucket chair, the man's eyes are squinted but quickly recoil when Eric shifts, almost like he was waiting for him to pounce.

"Miss Bennett, come in. Close the door." He smiles wickedly at her and she wonders what he's got up his sleeve. Leaning back in his chair, he fiddles with his pen in hand and cheerfully tells her, "You're late..."

She grabs her phone out clumsily from her bag. "It's one minute past seven. ...Sir."

Eric gives a warning glare to her sweet mouth. "Yes, you _start_ at seven… Now, come over here, I want you to look at something."

She hesitates and Eric exhales haughtily, so she almost springs to the place next to him. She's never been this side of the desk before and it already feels powerful. Eric's awfully joyful and she tries to sneakily side-eye him but he's already looking, catching her being curious. "What would you like me to look at?"

Eric snorts at her politeness, then flicks his head towards the man opposite them. "This is Dillon. Dillon denies stealing. Can you tell me if this is our little friend _Dillon_ in these camera stills?" He pushes print-outs on multiple pieces of paper towards her, noticing how small her hands were when she picks them up. If he didn't see her straight in front him, he would have said they were a child's hands.

Eric watches as she seems to look hard at the stills, her forehead wrinkling, sometimes looking back to Dillon's face. But he waits patiently, swinging in his chair.

"I believe this is him." She chews her lip. "But this one's not." She points to a picture, but it's just the top of someone's head and almost unidentifiable. Eric snaps it from her hand, grazing over it.

"Ah, good." He was playing with her, he was just seeing if there was some conscious thoughts in that dull head of hers. Turning back to Dillon, he asks, "So, who else was there?"

Dillon tilts back in his chair, hands gripping the side of it. "Look, it was just me…no one else."

"You said it wasn't you about five minutes ago, now suddenly it was _just_ you." A flicker of irritation ticks in his jaw. "I can't believe anything that comes out of your mouth. Who. Else. Was. There?"

Sarah takes a step to the side, away from Eric when his voice raises.

"It was just-" He doesn't get to finish, Eric slams his chair back, rounding the desk and smashing his fist into the guy so that he billows backward in his chair, flat on his back. He tries to get to his feet and Eric pulls him by the scruff of his neck.

"Who else was there?" he growls, inches from his face.

Sarah feels guilty for having some part of this and steps further away to the corner of the room. She was expecting to serve coffee, not someone's ticket to be beaten.

Blood drips from the guy's face. "I don't know his name!" he wails and Eric shakes him, snapping his head back and forth violently.

"One thing I can't stand is liars. Liars who will lie to the end. I know you know." He drops him, planting a kick to his side and Dillon offers up a yowl in pain. Standing up straight, Eric wipes his hands on his jacket, eyes snapping to Sarah. "Stiff, come here." She doesn't at first, she looks between him and the guy terrified and moves too slow for his liking. When she gets within a couple of feet, he yanks her towards him. "I said, come here!" She stumbles to try and keep up with the momentum, her wrist painful in his grasp.

"Ye-yes... sir?"

"I want you to slap him."

"We don't believe in violence, I vowed never to lay-"

The rage within Eric was evident by his breathing. It was erratic, his chest heaving and eyes darkened on the soldier on the floor. "Slap him or I slap you!"

"I'm not-"

He does slap her, hard, to the side of her face, whipping her head to the side. She yelps incoherently, her breathing a lot more fierce than it was before. But surprisingly she doesn't cry, just cups her cheek. A blotchy hand print already begins to form, perfectly matching to his hand, it was almost beautiful to her untouched complexion. So beautiful, he has to resist the urge to do it again.

"We all listening now?" He crouches down next to Dillon, lowering his voice. "You going to tell me yet? Or are you going to bitch-slapped by a stiff?"

"I told you, I don't know his name. I just see him at one of the bars from time to time." Dillon cups his nose, his voice nasal and wet as blood drips out onto the floor through his fingers and bloodied mouth.

Sarah still rubs her cheek, keeping a good distance, retreating away when Eric stands. "Well, Dillon. I want his name by tomorrow morning. If I don't… you don't really want to know, now do you?"

"I understand."

"Now get out." Dillon barrels quickly for the door, leaving a bloody handprint and a whole lot of mess.

"Stiff." Sarah's still staring out after him but turns her head when he calls her. "Let me see you." She steps towards him cautiously and he reaches out, grabbing her face roughly and tilting her chin. She keeps her eyes to the side, unwilling to face him. "I didn't want to do that. You made me do that," he tells her. She doesn't believe a word, almost cringing at his narcissism. "Now clean up." He knocks her chin with his knuckle in an encouraging way, leaving her blinking and stunned from the five minutes of absolute chaos.

From behind his desk, he watches her shrug off the long-strapped satchel bag, placing it to one side and heading for the cupboard. He was annoyed she had defied him again, and this time in front of someone. This girl was not like her mother in the slightest, the little stiff never looked the least bit interested in doing anything for him. In fact, she never even looked at him as if he was human. He could sense she was absolutely petrified - she would be stupid not to be. But that was all he could read from her, nothing else, and he didn't know what annoyed him more.

Eric watches her spray down the plastic chair, quickly wiping it clean and then the floor, bending down onto all fours. Suddenly he forgets everything he's supposed to be doing for the day and has to readjust himself to the random hard-on in his pants. That was definitely a first. A stiff turning him on. A stiff turning him stiff… His lips curl up at his own mental joke.

He guessed he never had this problem before because all the other stiffs were well beyond his age and of no interest to him. However, this young stiff in front of him had creamy skin, pink round cheeks, and ocean-blue eyes. He knew well enough probably no man had ever touched her, maybe not even kissed her and it only seemed to make his groin ache more.

"I think you missed a bit."

Sarah looks up at him, then to the floor, trying to figure out where.

"Over there." He points to near the door and watches gleefully as she so innocently crawls around checking for blood splatters. The back of her skirt rides up, showing more of the back of her thigh clad in stockings. Subconsciously he imagines himself lifting it, wondering what stiffs were like underneath. Would she fight back or allow him?

Next, she begins scrubbing the door handle, in his eyes suggestively, but he knew she had no idea.

"Okay…" He clears his throat, suddenly aware he's done nothing. "Get out."

She jumps at his voice and gets up quickly. "Yes, Mr. Coulter."

* * *

Sarah's yawning by his door when he flies out of it. Snapping her jaw shut quickly, she obediently follows when he calls out over his shoulder, "Stiff!"

He gives her an electronic pad when she catches up to him, the page blank. "Take notes."

"Yes, sir." Sarah looks down at it, she had used one once or twice and hadn't been so bad. She keeps the questions to herself as they travel down to the pit. But strangely Eric's looking up when they arrive, his mouth moving as he counts to himself. She finds herself copying him with a slack jaw.

"Two. Tunnel four exit." Then he's moving swiftly again, her almost jogging to keep up. "One, bridge." She types whatever he's saying in, exactly the way he says it, none of it making any sense to her.

They pass through a corridor and it smells musty and damp, the sound of running water ahead of them. Sarah remembers the mentions of the chasm deep within Dauntless - the highest suicide faction of the lot. The death blow was below her, where they jumped to their fate.

"Stiff!" She hears over the sound of the roaring water. "I said, twenty-five degrees to the right."

"Sorry, Mr. Coulter." She follows his line of sight and sees he's talking about cameras... it all makes sense now. "Maybe it needs another brace, it's very loud, the sound rumbling… it must move all the time."

He gives her a small squint. "Perhaps…" The stupid bitch must think he's an idiot if he'd never thought of that before. "Follow me."

They pass three more tunnels, Sarah typing whatever he tells her and he brings her to a large metal door, typing in a code. The door slides open and they are met with a busy control room with a lot of young faces in it.

Keeping herself to the side by the door, Eric seems to forget she's there, starting a conversation with someone over a monitor. She didn't mind doing this if this is what working for Eric Coulter meant. At least it kept her busy, him distracted and the day moving quickly.

Suddenly the thought of home springs to her mind and her eyes drop to the floor. At least she was doing this and not one of younger sisters, she couldn't imagine either of them surviving a day here. They were not like her. Mary was quiet, studious and sensitive. Lizzie had an uncontrolled mouth and no patience for anything. But they were both delicate-minded. At night she could hear Mary always tentatively looking after Thomas when she couldn't and Lizzie would spend hours writing into a diary. Sarah assumed that for Lizzie, that was the only way to express herself a little better because she never really confided in any of them.

"The unfortunate substitute…" A voice speaks to her, snapping her eyes up to the brown haired man in front of her. His eyes spoke volumes, there was no maliciousness there.

"I'm grateful…" she lies.

He scoffs to himself, folding his arms. "I'm not Candor, but I can spot a lie when I see one."

Sarah allows a small smile, trying not to stare too long at him.

"What do you know… two stiffs." Eric casually saunters over to them, briefly capturing her attention then aiming his focus on the man in front of her. "You like my stiff, Four?" He folds his arms, matching Four's pose. They share a chilly look that she classed as unfriendly and wondered how brave this new guy Four really was. It sparks her interest knowing he was previously Abnegation and somehow made it through hell and back to become a fully-fledged Dauntless member.

"Your stiff?" Four questions, grimacing slightly. "I was actually expressing my sincere apologies."

"She's fine… Aren't you?" All attention is redirected on her, so she just nods.

"Good girl." Eric whistles like he was calling a dog, "Come Sarah." And patting his thigh in the process.

Four nods at her and Eric leads her out. She briefly looks over her shoulder, then back to the house-of-a-man walking in front of her.

* * *

Sarah has dinner at Dauntless. Whether that was a hint that she was staying late she was unsure, but tonight she sits at one of the tables on her own. Behind her on an adjacent table , Eric sits with a few others. They are almost back to back and she can hear them laughing, talking quietly and sometimes debating over certain things of no interest to her.

She prods at the burger in front of her a few times, her appetite dwindling the more she felt sorry for herself.

She almost gauges a hole in the middle of it when Eric suddenly nudges her from behind. "Stiff." At first she politely tries to ignore him, wishing he'd leave her alone. She didn't want to have anything to do with the table behind her, she wanted to eat, then leave. "Come over here." It wasn't an option because he grabs her arm, turning her on the bench to stand.

They are all looking at her, so she does what she does best and gazes to the floor.

"No, you're right, I think we'll have to pay Abnegation a visit…" Sarah's eyes flick up to meet the straggly haired man with the head of a dragon tattoo on his neck disappearing into his shirt. "Harbouring… that's what it's called. Giving us the old and stupid and keeping the sweet things locked away."

They must've been talking about her at some point, she had been completely oblivious. It riles her that Eric really did just see her as an amusing object to taunt and poke when he got bored. "Sit," he orders to the place next to him, so she does.

A group of black with a little gray dot is what ran in her thoughts. Every man here was rough, muscly and what she could only describe as hairy. Beards, sideburns, mustaches. Except the balding one next to her caging her between him and Eric.

The Abnegation men at home were bland, shaved and neatly cropped. No ink would mark their skin and they wouldn't so much as touch a woman without permission.

The nickname stiff comes into full effect when her whole body freezes. With his thigh pressed up against hers, Eric jackhammers his leg under the table. She can feel the seam and thigh pockets of his pants rubbing against the thin material of her dress. She had the choice to stay put or attempt to move and possibly have to touch the bald headed guy beside her.

It makes her think back to the cupboard when Eric had touched her neck and her collarbone. She detested it, but it still felt raw, even today. It probably was nothing to him, just some mere naked flesh, the act nothing more than a natural predatory opportunity he saw.

Sarah didn't miss the admiration in his eye of the marks and the way he lingered on them. She knew he had no right to be touching her the way he did. It must've given him great joy and made him sleep better that night, knowing what effect he had had on her. The damage he'd done, would never be undone, and definitely his slap couldn't be taken back. From experience a boundary slap would sometimes escalate to more in the future - that's how sick, abusive people worked. She would watch her mouth more in the future, and to save her own hide, consider acting out whatever he would ask her just to avoid it.

It didn't help the fact that she had heard him in his office with that woman, tainting her mind. Now Sarah believes that he did it on purpose, knowing she was outside. Her cheeks flush unexpectedly thinking about it and for a minute she thinks she's ill. All the rules of sexual relations spin in her head from when she was taught. It was a dampened down subject that was close to shaming. And she felt shame now.

"Can I… wait outside?" Sarah wants out. Out of here. Away from this table. Away from him.

"Go." He throws a piece of food in his mouth, chewing angrily, watching her making a swift exit before he can change his mind. He's more curious of the flush on her cheeks.

"'Ere, Eric."

Keeping himself level, he faces the man in front of him who he knows as Wayne. The man shifts up to get closer, leaning his body on the table. "Lemme pop it."

Eric keeps his eyes on the table, picking through pieces of food. He leans forward too, on one elbow, his head slightly to one side, almost in thought. There's no particular expression on his face. "You want the stiff?"

"Just what's underneath. Five minutes."

Calmly chewing, Eric dusts off his hands. "No. Get your dick in something else."

Wayne looks disappointed and leans back again. "Aw, shit. You try finding a V plate in Dauntless…"

If anyone was going to pop it, he would. He liked leaving his mark.

* * *

Eric allows her to leave an hour later, much to her relief, much to her curious relief.

When she arrives home, Thomas is already in bed and Lizzie is halfway upstairs. She tells them she's eaten and is going to wash and go to bed. Tomorrow she can't be even a minute late, she needs to be extra early. She plans ten minutes earlier.

Just after washing her hair and brushing through the lengths of it, her sister, Mary, quietly enters her room.

"I saw Dalton today." The words are expressive, hinting almost. Dalton lived five houses down. He passed his initiation a year before Sarah. He was young, handsome, well-mannered and already in the teachings of the council. And she also knew what was coming next. "He asked after you."

"You can tell him I'm fine." Fluffing her pillows seemed a good distraction.

"He also visited today, at lunch…" Mary takes a seat at Sarah's wobbly old desk, turning the chair to face her. "He told us his intentions for you."

"Dalton?" She scoffs a little in embarrassment.

"The very one."

She had to admit the idea was flattering. She had a crush on him from an early age. Abnegation didn't date, they made their intentions known to their parents before finalizing any future plans. Usually, intentions and future plans meant engagement and later marriage. And that was exactly where Mary was going with this.

"I think you should say yes… To seeing him one evening."

"Mom put you up to this?"

Mary tries to hide her smile. "Noooo… okay, yes." Out of her pocket, she pulls an envelope. "He wrote to you. He knows you're busy. But to me, that sounds kind of keen."

"I'll think about it, okay?"

Mary stands excitedly, rubbing her older sister's shoulder and quietly leaves the room. Sarah shoves the envelope into her bag. She'll read it at lunch tomorrow when she has time.

* * *

So Dalton wanted to marry her. That was something new. She sits at Eric's desk, filing away some of his work while he bashes the keyboard furiously.

She understands now why Dauntless chose Abnegation. They were quiet and easily forgettable to a faction like Dauntless. Erudite were too smart. Amity too care-free. Candor too loud and opinionated.

She wonders briefly if Dalton was bothered by her working at Dauntless.

"Stiff…" She's snapped from the thought. "I want them filed today, not in a week."

"Sorry, sir." She makes the clear mistake of trying to wipe a smile from her face that Eric immediately catches.

He sits back in his chair watching her. Her eyes are bright, her cheeks rosy and skin glowing. Out of habit, he gnaws the side of his cheek, analyzing her. "As your boss, I'd like to know what has you so distracted, _Sarah_." He teases her name, her hands tensing up when he does.

Tapping the edge of the pile of papers in front of her, she doesn't look at him. "Nothing of importance to you or Dauntless."

The Abnegation is smart, that was for sure. "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…" He clucks his tongue. "I'm trying to get to know you here. Are we going to keep stuff from each other now?"

"No, sir. I just don't see how it would be of any interest or importance." A beefy hand lands on the papers she's fiddling with, forcing her to look up at him. "I'm just happy that I got to speak to my sister last night. I haven't seen her much the last few days." It's a lie, but not a complete lie.

Her heart beats erratically for a moment, her back hot and the color draining from her face. When he moves his hand and directs his attention back to the computer, she inhales slowly, exhaling out of her nose quietly. She got away with it. She lied to Eric Coulter and got away with it…

* * *

Lunch is the usual affair.

The table of Abnegation sit quiet and Sarah couldn't be more thrilled. She sits down, scrabbling at her bag for the note instead of concentrating on the food. As per usual, Eric sauntered off somewhere into the crowd, leaving her to eat.

Her name is written neatly on the front of the envelope and she smiles to herself. Ripping the flap open, she pulls out the white paper, greedily reading the first few lines.

 _Sarah Bennett,_

 _I hope you don't feel hounded that I met with your parents while you have been gone. But as of late, it's been hard to catch you at a reasonable time._

 _I want to make this note my official-_

It's yanked from her hands, a grasp so tight on her bicep she yelps a little as she's forced to stand.

Eric's eyes are dark and he makes sure to read the entire note before addressing her with a sharp, pointed look.

He smirks.

"My Stiff…" He laughs cruelly, showing all his perfectly white teeth. "...is getting engaged?"

"It's not been determined yet. I-I haven't responded." Her hands twist together erratically, biting her lip and scouring the people around her. She pulls down the cuffs of her cardigan so it covers her hands.

"I knew you lied. And what's more amusing is that you thought you got away with it." He flicks his head to the door and she knows it's time to leave.

Eric walks her back in silence. He catches her eyes in the mirror of the elevator and she looks away. The glow she had earlier is gone, vanished along with her bright eyes. Now she only looked dismal and painfully guilty.

When they get to his door, he grips her shoulder, shoving her in the room and planting her roughly in his chair at his desk. Next, he pulls out paper and a pen.

"Write this," he tells her. "I'm sorry, but due to my work commitments an offer of marriage is regretfully denied." He lowers himself to her ear. "Distractions will affect my progression and as far as I'm aware, this is a _distraction_."

Sarah doesn't know whether he was now telling her what to write or telling her what he thought.

"Best wishes, Sarah…"

"Mr. Coulter. I cannot give this letter to him. It's untrue."

"You can and you will. Don't make me do this the hard way Stiff. I've punished a lot of liars in my time, and it's safe to say they never do it again. I'm giving you a get-out."

"This affects my future." Her hands shake arguing with him.

"Your future is looking very bleak as it is at the moment, don't you think? Now sign the fucking letter."

Sarah wells up for the first time. "No."

"No?" His whole face turns into a spiteful frown. " _No_?" Then he feigns sincerity, turning her in the chair to face him and crouching low, watching as the tears roll down her face. "Don't cry." His voice is low and too sweet for normality. "Sometimes we do things that we don't want to do. But sometimes it's for the best."

When his hand touches hers, she pushes herself away. It's a mistake, he's too fast for her to comprehend and before she can blink, her head is being slammed onto the desk. His hands wrap around her wrist and brings it up to the paper. Applying pressure to the side of her head, pain sparks and his fingers dig into the soft skin of her arm.

In this position, Eric resists the urge to push up behind her. How easy it would be to lift her skirt and show her a thing or two. There definitely wouldn't be a lot of fight in the small, fragile thing.

But not now.

"Sign it." His breath batters the shell of her ear, and she swallows, her eyes fluttering shut momentarily in defeat.

With shaking fingers, she scribbles her signature on the paper that's printed with Eric Coulter's name at the top.

" _I hate you_."

The words leave her between a whisper and a hiss, sounding too strange to be coming from her delicate mouth. The Stiff definitely gets points for bravery.

He releases her with a shove. "Good. You should."


	3. Chapter 3

For the rest of the afternoon he doesn't ask much of Sarah. He keeps to himself, leaving the room occasionally and dismisses her for the night with an obligated wave of his hand.  
She's still trembling, shuddering, filled with weighted cold and mostly beside herself, gripping on to a small part of her old self to keep from snapping completely. Understanding comes to as to why people would jump from chasm. It was an easy way out and now she didn't think of them so badly.  
Grabbing her things, she leaves as quickly as she possibly could, without so much as a word.

Sarah practically flies out the doors of Dauntless in a sheer sprint, uncaring for the calling guards after her and beats the pavement the entire way home. Now is the time she allows herself to cry properly, barely able to breathe through her tense throat and hitching moans, hardly noticing the strange but also worried faces she receives when reaching Abnegation.

The family is around the table again, stopping to the dramatic entrance and watching as she fleas up the stairs to her room.  
Thomas, her small brother, peers up to their mother with wide innocent eyes. "Why is Sarah sad?"

A brief exchange of looks around the table and her father nods. "Mary. Would you see to your sister for us?" He was a man and didn't deal with the dramas associated with women. Her mother was also bound to downstairs with her leg and Lizzie was far from comforting.  
Without a word she leaves the table, ascending the stairs and walking in to find Sarah staring off into the room. "What's happened?" She makes sure the door is firmly closed before she talks and sits crossed legged in front of her, reaching for hands which she snatches away. The trembling and coldness off them doesn't go unnoticed, causing Mary to flinch, and when she does it forces her older sister to finally peer down at her.

"I can't do this." The words are dismal, her voice intermittent with gritty pain from having wept so hard. "I won't do this anymore."

"Mother does it all the time. It can't be that bad otherwise, she wouldn't –"

"He made me deny Dalton's intentions. He pushed my head into the desk when I refused and made me sign a letter that I didn't want to. He slaps me, shouts at me and degrades me at every opportunity he has." She wipes her eyes. "And what's worse…is that there is nothing I can do about it!"  
There's nothing her younger sister could really say either that would rectify this situation. Blurting out her thoughts and happenings was unlike her, but it had built up, slowly chipping away and now Eric messing with her personal life hit the limit.

"Maybe you could put in a complaint?"

Sarah stands, taking off her cardigan and discarding her boots somewhere in the room. "To who? Eric?" She scoffs to herself, sniffing away the need to cry again.

"What about the council? Could you talk to them?"

"Can you even imagine if I did and he found out? He would kill me. I see it. In his eyes. He would kill me if he wanted to or needed to and there would be no one to go against him." She leaves out the part where he threatened the future of her siblings. They were better off not knowing.  
And that's when reality sinks. She can't _not_ do this, for them. Just because she was emotional and ruining ten weeks of her life, it threatened to ruin theirs permanently.

"Is there anything I can do?" Mary asks weakly. "You know, to make things easier for you? I could wash your clothes for you… Save dinner maybe if you're late?" That was all she really could do. There was nothing else apart from trying to persuade her older sister to stick it out. "You have ten weeks. Ten weeks and you are free. I could speak to Dalton. Tell him. Maybe he'll wait for you? We can laugh together when this is over. We'll never look back."

Sarah smiles at their resemblance. She would be probably saying the same things to her if the roles were reversed or perhaps begging to take her place to save her. Mary also looks incredibly hopeful, and she can't deny her the satisfaction of her knowing she has actually been the slightest bit comforting. Mary, after all, was her go-to in the family.

Ten weeks and this was over. Mary was right. She was strong. She could do this.

"Thank you, sister. I think maybe I just need to go to sleep and hopefully I'll be better by tomorrow." Kissing the top of her head, Mary stands from the floor, gripping her hand tightly and leaving as quietly as she entered.

Sarah numbly sits on the bed, staring out ahead of her again. Sleep will not come easy. And when did lying come so naturally?

* * *

The first thing Eric thinks; is that he's broken her.

Every time he moved, she moved. Even if fractionally. She would never look at him and hasn't spoken since the usual brief greeting she does every morning. With her face paled and eyes dark, it agitates him to see someone so pathetically weak.  
"Are you ill?" He leans back in his chair, unmoving, waiting for her to look up. When she does her eyes are tinged pink. Along with the blue of her irises it gave her an almost transparent look.

"No, Mr. Coulter." Her eyes flick down to her hands.

The answer is too brief for his liking, his spine almost cracking and teeth gritting together. "Then what's wrong with you?" His tone echoing his look.

"I haven't slept much, Sir"

"Why?"

Sarah quirks her head up at his question. He should know why. It's because of him. She contemplates lying, but look where that got her last time. So gathering up her back-bone, she dryly puts:  
"I had nightmares… about you."

For a minute he pauses, looking her up and down. With a long exhale he leans on his desk, facing his body towards her. "You're not the first. Nor will you be the last." When her eyes minutely squint, he almost smirks in glee. Her emotions were getting the better of her. That was the first time he'd ever seen the inkling of a frown in anger forming on her face. Maybe she wasn't so broken after all…

"Fetch Clair for me, then wait outside."

"Yes Mr. Coulter."

* * *

When Sarah watches Clair leave from his office, Eric scares her, dashing his head out of the door. "I don't want to be disturbed."

"Yes, sir."

Her eyes close this time while standing. Her legs had gotten used to locking together so she could stand for longer without feeling much pain or whatever muscle would decide to protest. The arches of her feet though were still sore, and inside her boots she flexes her toes, taking her time.

The elevator pings, catching her attention and it's that same woman from before. Now in another tight skirt and top, clattering her announcement through the suite. Sarah idly wonders if perhaps she thinks she's special to get his attention. Did women actually enjoy him? She barely found anything about him attractive. Maybe just his strong jawline…She flushes instantly thinking about something so ghastly.

"He in?" The woman says with the same pointed look, fingering through her hair quickly to straighten it and puckering her lips together.

"He is, but-" She doesn't get to finish as the woman's hand grabs the door handle just as Sarah reaches out to stop her.

"Don't touch me you little rat!" Pushing Sarah's arm away from her, her top lip snarls aggressively. The once maybe somewhat attractive face was just a sheer witch under the cover of make-up.

"He doesn't want to be disturbed. If you'd bothered to listen the first time, then maybe I wouldn't have to touch you." Suddenly her senses come to. That was not an Abnegation talking. That was fleeting emotions from last night and today coursing through her, spurring her on. Her body language changes and the woman smirks at her sudden uncertainty.

"Awh…look at you…" She feigns sympathy, cooing the words. "Such an adorable little creature…" Her hands move towards her head and Sarah forces herself to stay completely still. "So innocent…" Stroking her hair, Sarah breathes slowly through her nose, then braces, just in time for her hand to catch her cheek and nails digging out stinging marks. Automatically she cradles her face, not daring to say any more. " _Don't_ touch me. _Don't_ -"

Eric opens the door mid-sentence, looking entirely livid. Sarah takes a step back, she knows that face, and perhaps if she makes herself as small as possible he won't direct it at her.

"Nina, fuck off."

The Abnegation now lifts her head, surprized, catching Eric's eyes as they drift to her cheek. Something flickers in them and he turns back to Nina with a twitching jaw. "Why are you still here?"

"I-I wanted to see you." Nina doesn't sound too confident anymore, it sends a small thrill of karma throughout her, however, she keeps it to herself, keeping her head downcast.

"Don't kid yourself." Is all he says, grabbing Sarah's wrist and dragging her inside his office. He sits her down roughly and she tumbles into the seat because her boots catch the legs of it, landing her ungracefully with a breath.

When he appears and presses a tissue to her face she automatically grips at his wrist, peering up unsurely at him. His wrist is too thick for her to really wrap her fingers around it entirely, and suspiciously he smiles, crouching in front of her. At this moment in time, it was an act basing on the verge of caring, but it was always something else when it came to Eric, nothing was straight forward.  
"I heard what you said back to her. Have to admit; I'm impressed."

Her life goals were not to impress him, and to impress him meant she'd done something against the rules of her faction. On her thoughts, she drops her hand, noticing him tilt back on his haunches that he'd lowered himself to.  
"Please…" She hesitates. "Please don't tell anyone, sir."

Standing completely straight he keeps his eyes downcast, taking in the curvature of her nose and down to her top lip, the top lip he wanted to so desperately bite till she cried.  
The soft voice that begs him is other-worldly delicate, it bristles him slightly, almost wanting to hear her plead again. He really could make her beg him if he wanted to, and it wouldn't be hard to force her, toy with her. Instead, he keeps it to himself. He'll make her beg in the future when the time is right, when he's trained her to accept him in more ways than one. It was just time, and he had plenty of it.  
Unbeknownst to her, he liked to play, and sadly he'd chosen her as his new acquitted victim. It was her overall innocence that badgered him in the early hours of the night. Provoking a frenzied madness to which he had to relieve himself to. Pretty stiffs were not common and anyone with eyes could see the flattened beauty the Abnegation rags had covered her with. A piece of his possessive nature had latched itself onto the girl, and he knew she didn't stand a chance. Eric had to taste the forbidden fruit, one way or another.  
"Nothing leaves this office, Sarah."

Her wide eyes stare up at him. Ultimately, he decides those are the eyes he wants to see when he buries himself inside her. He couldn't think of anything more satisfying.

* * *

"Stiff, keep up!" Eric barks over his shoulder. His normal nickname for her back into full effect along with his diabolical presence. He steams ahead of her, turning this way and that down different corridors. His head is held high and shoulders broad in front of her.

They stop at a corridor. Well, she couldn't describe it as a corridor, it was more like a dangling ledge with carved out rooms to the side. He enters one, telling her to wait, so she does. When he reappears he places a medium box in her hands that weighed heavily for it's size.

On the way back he keeps his pace slow. "Start memorizing the floor plan. Next week you will be doing them on your own when I tell you to."

"Yes-" Without being able to see her feet and concentrating on him in front of her, she trips, billowing forwards. She keeps a firm hold of the box, rather letting her body take the knock then whatever was inside.  
Her knees shred and elbows bounce off the cement floor, knocking her head against the box. But she doesn't so much as make a sound, she just snaps her head up to Eric's silhouette that's stopped and turned, peering more over his shoulder if anything. For a minute he looks back down the tunnel like he might walk away, with a huff of loathing he closes the small distance, deciding to help the pathetic Abnegation. Sarah panics trying to get to her feet but he's too quick, yanking her up. He bends, picking the box up and shoving it back into her hands.

"Clumsy… aren't you."

"I'm sorry, sir, I just can't see the floor…" She trails off as he looks down to her legs, then crouching. Sarah can feel the stinging in her knees, knowing full well she's probably got holes and pulls in her stockings. Tensing naturally, his fingertips brush against the scrapes. It's the heat of them that catches her breath, and for the fact she can't actually see him and is far too scared to move.

"You're bleeding."

"It's fine, sir. Can we-"

"Sit." He pulls the box from her, pulling her to the side of the walkway and makes her perch on it. Suddenly she wishes that she'd just dropped the damned thing.  
"Next time you trip, I won't even look back," Eric says slowly, locking her eyes to get the message across. "I didn't realize the basic elements of walking avoided you."

"I-I…" It makes her stop when he's smirking. Was that a joke? Instead of asking, Sarah stays quiet, watching him dust off her knees then pulling her cardigan higher up her shoulders before knocking the dirt from her elbows. The one thing unexpected, is the hand pushing escaped hair behind her ears.

"I think you'll live, stiff." He tells her. Her blue eyes swaying with different thoughts and emotions, all of that he could tell from just one look.  
Eric takes the opportunity to push his luck, leaning down and licking from the bottom of her most bloodiest wound on her knee to the top, slowly, watching her eyes flash. Was she turned on? He couldn't really tell, he guessed Abnegation girls would never understand about any of the rush of feelings or what they meant. But she certainly didn't say anything.

The cold air tingles from the wet trail and Sarah can barely move. It was an act classed as sexual in her eyes and she'd be a fool not to interpret it that way. Why was he doing it? That was the question. So she does the thing she does best, diverts his attention.  
"Did you send the letter to Dalton?"

Eric stands quickly. "The same day... Come." And he saunters off ahead of her.  
Sarah scampers quickly behind him, afraid of getting lost and also hyper aware of the layout of the ground, daring not to flail again.

* * *

As much as she didn't want to say, she couldn't deny it. Eric was now her safety net in Dauntless. Keeping the other wretches of Dauntless at bay that tried to hound her. It was funny how quickly they changed their tune when around him.  
She would keep close to him, feet behind him at all times, sometimes almost knocking into his arms when he would stop abruptly. On two occasions she did in fact bump into him, but to man like him, she was nothing. There was no weight or height behind her, and he would never say anything. The first time it happened though, she got a quizzical glare, and the rest was history.

"I want you to stay here for the rest of the day." Eric announces just outside the infirmary doors, not sounding anything other than bored. "You will take a short class on typical first aid, just like the rest, and then go home." He's clipped, his mind obviously wandering elsewhere as he looks behind her a few times.

"Where are you going?" That was not what she meant to say.

His sharp gaze is on her, but everything about him was sharp, every movement deliberate. "I'm a Leader of Dauntless. I do not need to tell you."

"Sorry, sir."

"Miss Bennett." He nods once. Heading off in the direction they came.

Left alone outside the infirmary doors, she gulps, her body moving before her mind could protest. She enters to a desk directly in front of her. The nurse behind the counter can only be a year or two older than her, her hair bright red but pulled back into a ponytail. For once, Sarah receives a smile.

"I assume you're here for the first aid?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

The red headed girl throws her head back in laughter. "Please, _do not_ call me that. The names Stacey." Then taps the desk. "There's a few things for you to sign here, just to say you've entered the course and for when you pass so we get your name right."

Sarah checks her details and signs quickly. "I didn't know we had to do this."

"No, but Eric likes to have everyone who works under him fully qualified in everything and anything…I would say he almost did it for fun, but who am I to judge. None of the others bother though." Her eyes squint at her a little. "How is working for Eric?"

"It's fine."

"You don't have to lie to me, my brother is an associate and I know he's a complete asshole." She smiles.

"I'd rather not say, I'm bound by confidentiality."

Standing from her desk, she motions her hand down the corridor. "Well, Miss Bennett. You will do incredibly well here going the way you are."

The corridor is long and dim, a light flicking on and off further up from them. She couldn't possibly expect her to go wandering up there alone. "It's Sarah…call me Sarah. Erm, who am I looking for?"

Stacey laughs again. "I'm teaching you." Then leads the way. Much to her relief.

* * *

Sarah easily lies again. For the third time now. Her parents coddled over the scratch marks on her face and obvious marks on her knees. Her excuse was that she fell – which was half true. There was a moment of guilt that soon vanished as she would've preferred telling them that than having to say she spoke out of hand to get the marks on her cheek.

Considering she also got slapped, her day was the best yet, and the end to it with Stacey made it complete. They seemed to get along, bearing in mind they were complete opposites. She even laughed properly for the first time in a while, trying to resuscitate dummies and bandage fake wounds.

That night she also sleeps better. The first for a while. Only once she wakes up kicking and pushing at the sheets, covered in a thick sweat when dreaming about _him_. But she also dreamt about him in other ways too, one particular being him walking ahead of her and she was unable to keep up, no matter how fast her legs carried her. When awake, she tries to understand the meaning of it and why she would even bother trying to keep up with him?

She blamed it on a sense of attachment. An attachment that was becoming worse as the days seemed to trickle by.

He scared the living day-lights out of her, every unexpected movement had her flinching or waiting for a tirade of assault. It had become less now, his anger usually directed at something else instead of her. It was almost like he had gotten used to her new face and the way she dealt with situations, or had forgotten her completely.

Sarah also made a mental note of memorizing his facial expressions. He had very few, but they meant a lot, and it saved her skin premeditating him. It was a secret that was kept to herself.

As the weeks rolled to two. She only received a small bruise on her forearm for not being quick enough, a tap on the cheek for stuttering and stare downs on occasion. Nothing she couldn't handle anymore. She was getting braver too; speaking quickly, answering honestly and doing things before he asked. Some of his touches were not always with malicious intent. Sometimes he would touch her shoulder, brush against her hand or pull the back of her bun to get her attention. – But nothing like the close contact of when she fell.

The more she interacted with Dauntless, the more she learned of their general violent traits to everyone and everything. A slap was nothing but a warning, a punch however – which she'd witnessed in the pit between two girls – ended things amicably in Dauntless terms. It was all terribly confusing and she preferred not to watch, instead waiting for Eric's amused expression to falter so they could leave.

But it didn't.

The cheering Dauntless burn pits into her ears, almost making her cover them with her sleeves to find peace. Eric had stopped by a metal stairway platform shrouded to one corner when the argument broke out. Then the two women pushed and shoved till an official fight was declared. The lift in Eric's face and manic glint in his eyes portrayed his true love, seemingly overjoyed by the fierceness of their faction.

"Watch the fight." He commands her, knocking away the hands from her ears and gripping her cheeks turned towards the grunts of effort and pain. It went against everything she was taught. This was a selfish divulging act between the fighters and onlookers alike.

When blood escapes from one of their mouths Sarah cringes, turning her body and looking for the exit. But when his nearest arm scrapes her side and his hips push her into the barrier, she's trapped facing towards the man-made ring below, two unbreakable arms either side of her.  
Now all she can concentrate on is her breathing, feeling like the trapped rat she was.

"Tell me what you think…" His darkened voice flickers against her right ear, the aired words slipping down the back of her neck. As the crowd gets more restless, his hands slip closer along the metal barrier, brushing against hers. She's too scared to move, his chest so close to her back she can feel the heat curdling between the two of them.

"I think…I think it's wrong."

"I _think_ , they're enjoying it. Don't you?" He presumes to put his mouth to her neck, his thumb flicking over the back of her hand that steadies the tremble.  
The fight below has possessed him to the point of insanity. A growing, aching desire ricocheting up his body, forming onto the girl in front of him.

Crushing her eyes closed, she sucks her lower lip, snapping her hands together almost in prayer but too scared to move anything else. "Eric…please…" It seems to spur him on, biting the juncture of her tensed neck harshly, his mouth wet and warm against the never touched skin.  
"Stop…" Her voice warbles weakly just as the crowd roars again.

It seems to snap him from his work, an arm moving from the barrier and pulling her cardigan over the skin he's just tainted.

"For now." His words are whispered promisingly.

* * *

Having Eric being fairly stoic through the last week, it comes as a shock when something changes.  
Eric's mood is beyond foul and there's nothing she can do to get away from it. People have come and gone, his direct fury unleashed on them. But from the visitors she learns it's a power outage in one quarter of the building, leaving certain sections of Dauntless immobile and in the dark.

When a small guy announces there is no obvious problem, it riles him further. Shouting at the guy to leave and clouding the entire room in deftly silence when he does. She will not move a muscle. Moving attracted attention and this was the wrong type of attention.

Eric's fingers drill the keyboard, furiously biting the side of his mouth to which he abruptly stands. He mumbles something under his breath and heads to the door, beckoning her with small hand gesture. Sarah doesn't follow him into the corridor straight away, infuriating him further, making him turn to berate her. But she jogs up to him, a smile on her apple cheeks to possibly sate him, and passes him his phone.

It seems to work, because he doesn't say anything. They ride the lift to the pit, working their way between the halls and then finally down into a damp and cold concrete stairway. It takes them further and further underneath Dauntless. It's completely pitch-black, hauntingly so, and Sarah resists the urge to reach out and hold onto him.

"Hurry up."

He has a torch shining ahead of him, but it makes her feet almost feel non-existent in the glare because he blocks most of the light. Her stomach drops a few times as she misinterprets the gritty steps but somehow manages to keep up.

They get to the bottom and its bitingly cold, forcing Sarah to wrap her arms around herself, wondering whether or not Eric feels anything other than hate because he's so unbothered.

"Where are we?" Her curiosity gets the better of her while concentrating on him shining the torch along the huge and multiple pipes above their heads.

"Where do you think we are? We're in the fucking basement, Sarah…" Then Eric begins scouring around him, his face taut in frustration.

"What are you looking for?"

The flash light is pointed in her face, burning her eyes immediately and making her have to block it out with a hand. "Be. Quiet."

They walk along, the torch trailing a certain pipe, turning to a small squared out room with switchboards high above their heads. A bag of tools is left here from the attempts previously and Eric crouches sorting through it. "Take the torch." He barks and holds it over his shoulder.

"Do you know what you're doing?" He ignores her, standing up with tools in his hand. There's a metal vent and he cracks it open, revealing multiple boards and tons of switches which she assumed were fuses.

Growling he shoves the cover back on. "Where the fuck is it?"

"Where is what?"

"You suddenly become Candor overnight, Stiff?" He grips her shoulder, pulling her forward. "There's got to be another board. Look for it."

"Why doesn't anyone know where it was?" Surely someone must know.

"We haven't had an outage in over twenty years." She flicks the torch along the pipes, leaving Eric to place the vents back over the boards while swearing profusely to himself.

Turning back only briefly to make sure he was still there, she creeps down the cavernous corridors, the light glowing ahead, her breath fluttering from the cold. The pipes are different shapes and sizes, along with a much larger vent which she could possibly fit in. Above the larger vent only the rim of plastic, similar to the boards she just saw earlier catches her eye, but her height is restricting.

"Sir…Up there." And as per usual, she jumps when he somehow managed to get directly behind her without her even realizing.

"Good, stiff." He must see the board more than her, considering his height advantage. "Now get up there."

"Wait…what?" She yelps when he picks her up from the waist, slamming her to the large vent, forcing her to grip onto it even though her hands slip.

"You'll see the fuse, it'll be ejected." He pushes her more and she lets go, hands flying to her skirt. "Find the fuse!" So forgetting all her dignity she pulls herself higher, her top half just resting on the metal beneath her.

"A little more to the left." She's dragged along, till she finally sees it. "I got it. Higher." This was far more exciting than sitting in the office, and she felt like she was actually worthy of helping for once. Eric would've never gotten up here on his own.

Leaning on her forearm, she reaches out, yanking the fuse, passing it back down to Eric when he lowers her. He toys it in his hand then nonchalantly throws it over his shoulder, pulling a new one from his jacket pocket.

"Up." He motions with his head and she turns her back to him trustingly. Once again she's thrown back up, his hands gripping her thighs this time and she scrabbles closer to it, reaching to plug it in.

From below, Eric's far more interested in the tops of her stockings that stop high on her thighs. He'd never really given it much thought. He'd assumed they ran all the way to the waist. And he can barely resist the urge to let his hands slip and touch the material of them, feeling her stop immediately when he does.

"You like that, Stiff?" When she doesn't reply, it says more than any words she could've possible tossed out at that moment. "Tell me, are those standard stockings you all wear, or just you?"

"My sister makes them; they are far more comfortable then the standard tights we are forced to wear." Sarah's almost clinical, it makes him scoff to himself.

"Your sister. _Mary_ , isn't it? Does she look like you?"

Dropping her down, she stands towards him, shouldering her cardigan, trying to puff herself out to appear more confident. "My sister is outstanding in her work at Abnegation."

"That's not what I asked."

Eric watches her face turn untrustworthy, squinting slightly through her long lashes. "My sister is brunette."

"She's younger than you?"

"She's sixteen."

He smiles wickedly. "Shame."

Sarah blushes out of anger, balling her hands and not bothering for any repercussions. "Leave my sister out of this."

He tilts back, pocketing his hands. "Is that a threat?" Turning from her casually, he walks back to the squared room. She follows him quick, he has the torch now and she's afraid of him maybe playing a sick joke and leaving her down here. There is a loud clank and humming vibrating through the pipes as one bulb in the room suddenly flicks on.  
"Want something done, do it yourself," Eric says quietly.

"You have another sister don't you…Elizabeth." He gestures her to walk in front of him. She does, but with a quick glare at him. _Oh, how she amused him_. He lingers his gaze on her back, along the small shoulders down to her pulled waist that was always shrouded with that god awful cardigan. In his third eye, he sees himself yanking her back, stripping off the gray clothes and pulling her to his hips, crushing her against the wall until she begged him, called his name and screamed.

Unknowing of how the Dauntless Leader knows their names and why he bothered asking about her sisters, she concludes that if she didn't reply it would only anger him. "Lizzie is fourteen. She doesn't look like me…before you ask." Feeling his eyes burning holes into the back of her uncomfortably.

"Red hair…fiery. I think she might be Dauntless."

Her stomach drops, causing her pace to slow. She grits her teeth together, trying not to rise to him. "How do you know about my family?"

"I worked with your mother, _Sarah_. And do you really think I'd let anything pass me when I have inept trust in my employees. I have you work for me… _I know you for life_ …" He lets the words breeze out rustically, hanging in the air. "Maybe I'll ask Mary to-"

Sarah spins, her hand rising and caught just before she could slap his face.

"Oh, oh, ohhh…Look what I've done…a stiff, an act of violence!" He laughs, his grip tightening on her wrist. "You're a very bad girl, _Sarah_."

"Leave my family alone." Her voice has weakened, becoming unsure of herself. She watches his face, looking for any signs of a sure swat at her behavior. She reads the message though that he's planting. He controlled her and if she didn't submit to him, her family would pay the price.  
Imaging the likes of her sister, Mary, with Eric, makes her stomach twist. "They are not your concern."

Getting close to her face, the words brush hot and teasingly on her skin. "Deny me again and they will be. Now get your ass upstairs."

* * *

Sarah has not needed to use the phone he gave her yet. He's never rang her, or sent anything. So when it begins ringing in the early hours of the morning it takes her a minute to comprehend. Sleepily she answers, unsure of why he would need her so desperately at this hour, and why he feels the need to torture her more. - Like he didn't do it enough already!

The background when she answers is airy, the wind hitting the receiver of the phone. "Get your stuff together, we're going to Amity," Eric says with an act of impatient professionalism to his voice. There was not a chance to waver him even if she didn't want to go. An order was final.

"Now?" Sleepily, she combs through her wavy blonde hair that hit the middle of her back, stifling off a yawn that would've been considered rude. Her nightshirt is laced to her collarbone. The creative sister had sowed frills to the arm holes and neckline to customize them because when they were issued they looked like nothing more than decrepit bedsheets.

"No, in a fucking year…yes now." But she hears his voice from two places. One on the phone and one from outside her window. It strikes her, the noise of the truck engine idling outside their house just as her father barrels into her room.

"Eric's here!" He announces.

"Yeah…I'm aware," Sarah replies dryly, yawning that yawn she missed.

"He's downstairs!"

"What!" Flying out of bed, she dashes around the room, looking for a hair-band, a bra, anything. Almost knocking her father off his feet with her dizzying movements.

"He wants to see you, _now_."

"Just let me get-"

"Now!" He hisses.  
Sarah had briefly lapsed in her Abnegation, not listening straight away when her father spoke. She blames it on the man downstairs.

"Yes…certainly."  
She bites her lip, flattening the length of her gown to the lowest it could possibly be, and overly conscious of her loose bed head. Nearing the stairs her knees weaken, the light from downstairs illuminating every individual step. With bare feet she takes each one slowly, her hand running along the bannister, catching her first glimpse of him standing by the door, flicking through his phone in hand.

Eric looks up and she stops dead in her tracks under his gaze. The light pierces through the whiteness of her gown, making her breasts more visible. The pert of them, letting the material hang gracefully down to below her knees.  
The flashing images of an angel almost spring to mind, blowing all the control he was restricting himself with over the last two weeks.

He'd also never seen her with anything but a bland bun to the back of her head, and now it draped over her shoulders, framing her face, and ultimately dead-bolting his lust for her. Along with the blue eyes and obviously flushed face in embarrassment, he can't help but lick his lips. This was the last thing he was expecting to see, and she was a silly, silly girl for gracing him with this moment.

"Miss Bennett." He smirks. The possibilities endlessly blooming in the darkest part of his mind.

"Mr. Coulter."

* * *

A/N

Okay, that weren't so bad, right?

I've had three messages now commenting on how my brain works, lol. – Different, I must say. But Thanks!  
I blame it on lots of tea, sunshine and maybe when I hit my head as a child. Who knows.

I'm aware of the darkness of this story and touching subjects a little… delicate. It's not to everyone's taste but I must say I'm surprised by the awesome reaction, maybe I should be freaky more often.


	4. Chapter 4

There is a long dragging silence as Eric and Sarah stare at each other.  
Eric is the first to break away because her Mother hobbles with great effort into the room, peering at him confusingly for a minute.  
"Mr. Coulter. I have to say; we were not expecting you." Then her confusing look turns into accusing when she breaks a quick acknowledgment at her daughter.

"I'm not staying long. I just came for Sarah." He finds her again on the steps just as her Father pushes gently from behind, motioning for them to join the gathering in the dining room. Her head flicks over her shoulder, lips parting in hesitation while conscious thoughts duplicate to why he was here and why she needed to go with him anyway.  
Taking the last few steps, she's merely a few feet from him, the ocean blues flicking to each person in the room nervously, greatly aware of the exposed presence she held.

While her family were dressed for bed, Eric is exquisitely straight in a sharp black uniform. A uniform that Sarah hadn't seen when just usually in his office. He was genuinely dressed smartly most of the time, but today this uniform is used as if to enforce something – that something being power.  
Snapped from the thoughts as her Mother coughs to capture everyone's attention, she keeps quiet, pretending she wasn't ogling Eric in the slightest.  
"John, wake Mary and tell her to gather Sarah's things for her." Her Father nods, taking the stairs double. Turning back to the Dauntless Leader standing by the door, there's a curious, speculative light between her Mother's squinting eyes. "Perhaps you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine." Eric's still smirking, casting meek glimpses backward and forwards, having great trouble to look away.

"Come, do take a seat while you wait." Her Mother hops to the table, sitting quickly with a wince, unable to keep on her one good leg anymore.  
Eric joins her but sits on the other side, the side that faces towards Sarah and the stairs, still keeping his eyes fixed intensely and the vibe in the room is becoming heavy.

The smirk on his face hasn't lifted. More so because Sarah is tilting her head back, looking down her nose warily at him as if he might pounce while in their own home. "Why don't you join us?" He asks coyly, not bothering to acknowledge the strange, interrogative guise the moronic mother gives him.

"I should-"

"Sarah!" Her mother hisses. "Sit down like Mr. Coulter has told you to."

"Quite the feisty one…isn't she…" Eric laces his hands on the table, sitting predominately straight and overly too happy to be here.

Awkwardly, she sits the furthest away on the lone chair at the end, then looks down to the table, eyeing a crumb and wishing she was it.  
"Why is my daughter going with you to Amity?"  
Sarah doesn't bother to appear interested in their conversation. She knew there would be words between her parents the moment she stepped back through the door from their trip. Eric Coulter never just turned up on your doorstep in the middle of the night. Well, unless you were Divergent.

"I could use the extra pair of hands." The sheer snaking words make her stomach cringe. They were purposefully provocative. She frowns to herself for a second before daring to look and catching the dubious, burning stare of her mother. She tries to imagine what she's thinking. Whore. Traitor. Divergent?  
"Do not worry though, I'll bring her back in one piece."

Shaking her head at his boldness, she twists in her chair to leave. "I should get dressed…"

"You'll go as you are. Mr. Coulter doesn't have time to be waiting for you."

Sarah fights the urge to raise her voice. "I'm not dressed, _Mother_."

"Sarah!" The name spoken harshly, the facial expression just as pointed in shock and disbelief.

"It's Okay Mrs. Bennett. I've taught Sarah to speak her mind clearly back at Dauntless. It seems she's bought it home with her." Half of his mouth is upturned, just as wretched as his attentions which alternate between her face, the knotted bow and frill of her nightwear.

Entwining her hands on the table and emboldened by the familiar surroundings of their home, Sarah retorts openly for the first time. "Forgive me, but I do not speak brazenly at work, nor have you taught me in such an act."

"Not a morning person…just as I imagined." His teeth gleam at her. "In fact, I _will_ take that drink Mrs. Bennett." The glinting paleness of his eyes glimmer with excitement, not bothering to turn in acknowledgement as he purposefully removes the object of annoyance in the room.

"Certainly." The injured Mother knows a dismissal when she hears one.

When alone, Eric scoots up the bench till his knees hit hers. He slams his hand down on the annoying twisting fingers, removing the hands from each other, taking his time to run a thumb over the back of the one nearest to him. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

"Then why are you shaking?"

Checking her mother isn't coming back any time soon, she whispers quietly. "Because you are in my home, unexpectedly, in the middle of the night, sir. Do you know what this does for the reputation of my family? The gossip…"

"Let them."

She exhales sharply through her nose. "I don't think you understand." Watching as his hand reaches out to the front frill without any concern for either one of her parents re-entering the room. His attention is set to toying with the bow laced up at the front. She swallows thickly, feeling him studying her face before she actually dares to look.

"Oh I think you know the depth of my capabilities, Sarah. Let's not make a fool of yourself." He tugs on it. "We're going to go to Amity, and you're not going to sulk over it. In fact, we're going and you _will_ enjoy yourself… Take it as personal growth…"

"Sitting through meetings all day…"

"Did I say it was just a day? My mistake…" The bow loosens, but he keeps the fine lace between his fingers. "Two, maybe three." His bottom lip juts out in mock thought, lavishing in the way her chest rises and falls quickly now.

"Whatever you're thinking…don't."

Darkening slightly, he halts all movement, squinting playfully. "What _am I_ thinking, Sarah?"  
The door to the kitchen flies open. With great effort her mother scoots the drink onto the table, finally looking up just as Eric nonchalantly drops the silk from his fingers and a small flap of her daughter's nightwear loosely hangs open.

"Sarah, help me in the kitchen. I've made drinks for us all."

Pulling herself out from Eric's stare that they haven't broken; even when she walked into the room. Her daughter appears dazed, gracing him far too long in – with what should have been – a professional conversation.

The doors barely swing to, when her mother pushes them both up against the counter. "You're sleeping with him?!" She hisses in a whisper.

"What?! No! I would never…"

"What's this then?" She pulls on her lace.

"I've tried keeping it from you…but this is what he's like…all the time."

Expecting the overall berating of her life, her mother smiles instead, a low chortle sounding in the bottom of her throat that spreads a smile onto her face. "This is…this is…do you know what this means?" Sarah shakes her head. "He's favoring you. He wants you. It puts this family in a great position. Oh how the council will linger on our every word…"

"I'm sorry? What? I-I don't understand." A rush of confusion overtakes her, throbbing the lobes of her brain fiercely.

"A Dauntless Leader, is favoring _you_ Sarah. Whatever you're doing, it's luring him… Eric hates Abnegation at the best of times…this is a first…this is life changing. Do you know the sort of benefits that come with this?"

"He _hates me_ , mother."

"You stupid girl." She ruffles her hair in almost a motherly like gesture of reassurance, ending it by cupping her face. "My sweet, sweet Sarah. You have unknowingly put yourself into sort after territory. The mere act of being a mistress to a Leader of Dauntless is-"

"What?!" The young woman hits the wrinkled hands away from her face. "I am _not_ his mistress. I have never given him that sort of attention. How dare you think that of me, how dare you even mention this to me… my own mother!" When her voice raises, a hand gets placed quickly on her mouth.

"Be quiet, he'll hear you."

"I don't care!"

Her mother's eyes wander around the room. "I had my suspicions, I mean, my work with him was very limited…" But the words are more her mind processing everything quickly, to herself, ignoring the disgruntled face of her daughter.  
"Listen to me girl, do not give yourself to him."

"I wasn't planning on such an outlandish, disgusting, demonic-"

"Shh, listen. He gets what he wants, he loses interest, you got that?" Her hands quickly begin tying the bow at her neck again. "You need to keep him peppered to a fine edge. Just enough…but not enough… Do you understand?"

"Mother, please…you don't understand…What you're asking-"

"Will see to it that your brother and sisters will be ranked highly and possibly make it into the council."

Sarah now sees her Mother for what she truly was. A slave. A slave to society with her mind tainted on structural dreams of living highly and using anything she could to keep her position. Before, at least she was worried for her safety, but now, she's tasted the nectar of her minds miss-giving's and can't dissolve the potency to their situation.  
Being away from them and being at Dauntless had revived Sarah's senses, moved the clogs of understanding, detached her slightly from them so she could see outside of the box.  
She was a fool at the beginning to think her parents were doing what was best for her. They were doing what was best for them. - Placing Sarah in this position, being the target of physical and mental abuse, just because they were scared of failure and being cut from the leading positions after her Mothers' accident.  
Their mother's eye was now on the younger siblings joining the council through Sarah's misfortune. Not only had her parents asked to give her mind and helping hands to the Leaders of Dauntless, but now they were asking to give the most precious thing of all. – Her body. Who were truly the monsters?

"Find your jacket and get some shoes on." The blunt tone of her mother is the end of this conversation. No room for argument or feelings.  
For a second she hesitates, mouth open on the verge of almost begging her to change her mind. But the choice wasn't hers. None of it ever had been and will probably never be again.  
Wordlessly she turns her back, pushing the door slowly open to Eric now by the front door as he takes a hold of a bag her father passes.  
It felt like that was her chains.  
But never the less, a wave of relief skims briefly that Mary decided to stay upstairs and not show her face because of their previous conversation.

"We're leaving," Eric announces.

"Yes, sir." With tangled hands she moves to the coats by the door, her father curtly grabbing her long jacket and holding it out so she could slip her arms inside. Eric waits patiently, not giving any hint to what he was truly thinking. It was just dark…very dark, and breathing becomes painfully unnatural.

She suddenly felt like the illegal concubine of the night being hurriedly whisked away to a duped arrangement she had no idea of with a man she was terrified to be around.

Slipping into her bare feet into some standard Abnegation boots, she takes a brave step to be beside him, disconnecting herself now from her family and keeping her head firmly to the floor. Eric lifts her hood, framing it around her face; an act that could've been close to considerate, but it screamed possessiveness.

"Good night." Eric says with a brisk nod and then guides Sarah by the elbow, the grip tightening when she tries to turn her head back to the room.

The lights in the cab flick off, so she knows they are not alone on their journey. He continues to direct her all the way to the door, throwing the grey bag of clothes in the foot-well and then guiding her into the seat promptly before the Dauntless footmen stomps his foot on the accelerator and tears up the gravelled pathway of Abnegation.

"Get comfortable." Eric tells her coldly. Amity was a good two-hour drive.

* * *

By the time they reach their destination, twice Sarah had to shake her head from sleep. Her eyes heavy and body cold.

Lapsing with the people she was with, she peers up at Eric with puffy eyes. "Are we here?" She could barely tell; Amity was shrouded with darkness still.

"Yes." Is his clipped reply, throwing the door open and flicking his head for her to climb down. He seems to know exactly where he's going as he begins marching quickly away and Sarah almost forgets her bag, running back for it then jogging to catch up to him. Silently following, they get to some outbuildings made of wood. Just crickets and frogs bark out a welcome to them from the plains of field in the surroundings.  
"This is where we are staying."

"We?"

"Amity's limited on space…" He opens the door up to a room with two simple wooden beds on opposite sides of the room. A small lamp in between the beds washes everything in a dim yellow glow, disfiguring the normal bland colorings "Unless you want to bunk with any of the other men?"

Pursing her lips, she peers around the basic room, not trusting an inch of him. "No."

"Now get some sleep." He says, stripping off his jacket unabashedly. "We have four hours." Next go his boots, then pants. Sarah turns to her small bed, kicking the grey bag of clothes underneath it and shrugging the jacket from her shoulders.

Eric sits on his side of the room, stripping his socks as the sight catches his eye. "Turn around, Stiff."  
She doesn't, her head slightly tilts to his voice, though.  
"Turn. Around."

"Sir, I think-" She stops when she hears him stand and his hands begin tugging the jacket down her forearms, skimming against her bare skin as they do so and making her already tense body verge on whimpering in painful reluctance.

"I think me and you need to get a little something straight." Over her shoulders his fingers find the laced bow and pull it undone. "I'm not going to touch you in any way, _if_ you don't want me to."  
Baffled by his earnest words, understanding dawns that he didn't mean simple touches or violent ones, that's not what he was talking about. But she nods anyway. Not answering was sometimes worse.  
"But I want to look at you."  
Sarah's head whips to him hovering over her shoulder, eyes wide, mouth opening to protest.  
"Shh."  
Pushing the shoulders down of her nightgown, it slips across her flesh, exposing creamy white skin that's never seen the light of day.  
Eric moves her hair to the front, taking in the curve of her spine from her neck down, the shifting movement of her shoulder blades and the descent of her waist as it drops lower, catching just above the plump arse she keeps hidden. The goose bumps don't go unnoticed and he lazily drags a hand down her back, touching the fabric which suddenly slips, floating to the floor and puddling at her feet.  
"Oops."  
He walks backwards to sit back on his bed, taking a minute to take in the sight before him, pulling his shirt quickly over his head so he didn't miss anything.  
"Now turn around."

"I don't want you to see me." Sarah's quiet voice trembles slightly.

"Why?"

"Because…I'm scared."

"I'm on the other side of the room, Sarah. I'm not going to touch you." He smirks as 'yet' echoes in his head, quickly wiping it when her body shifts. And slowly, she turns.  
It's exactly what he imagined. She's not like the Dauntless woman back home. She was unmarred, flawless and not in the slightest muscly.  
From her pert breasts, that looked nothing but a handful, framed gloriously by the golden-blonde hair he threw over her shoulders earlier and down to the apex of her thighs that showed the neat slits he wished to divulge himself in, it throws him into complete silence for a minute.  
A radiant flush glows on her chest and throughout the girl's neck. She is forcing her eyes to stay tightly closed as if she was wishing to be anywhere but here and in this room with him.  
"Good girl." He praises, parting his thighs from his increasing erection.  
"Now look at me." She does on command, eyes dropping to his groin and then straining in shock to other places around the room.  
"This is what you do to me."

"I can assure you that it's unwillingly, sir."

"Do you know how many other women make me react this way at the moment?"

"Nina…" Sarah mumbles, not really knowing how to reply.

"Wrong, she's a means to a quick end. There is only one. You. And I want to make that fact incredibly clear to you so there aren't any misleading thoughts rolling around that air head of yours. But…" He hesitates. "You already know that, don't you?"

"I've had my suspicions, sir."

"Good. Now get some sleep, I'll wake you when it's time." Bending down to pick up her nightwear, he clicks his tongue, so instead she pulls back the sheets, slipping reverently into the bed and turning her naked back to him.  
There are sounds of his movements but she pays him no attention.

Willing sleep, the blackness takes over, blocking whatever breathy groaning he's doing on the adjacent bed. She can only imagine.

* * *

Eric wakes with a startle, confused briefly to his whereabouts but remembers as he looks across the room.

Sarah sleeps on her back, her head angled towards the wall and she breathes steadily in a deep sleep. The sheets have slipped down to below her breasts, a hand placed on her stomach neatly.

He decides to dress before waking her. Even managing to use the bathroom and returning to find her still in the same position.  
In his typical fashion, he strolls over quietly, a small moment of dilapidation, then gently descends onto the edge of the bed. The thought of touching her weaves it's way into his mind, especially when she sighs softly.  
At first, he trails his fingertips lightly up the soft skin of her arm, the act could've been considered almost shyly, but he continues up the side of her neck where he stops.

"Sarah." He whispers. "Get up." In her exhaustion she idly throws a hand at the annoyance. "Sarah…"

Still unmoving, he lazily drags his fingers down the underside of her neck, moving slowly towards the mounds of her breasts still exposed to him. He groans to himself in wanting frustration. His body heavily demanding to strip himself, pull the covers back and loom above her as she wakes. The thought is too overly appealing and holding out is becoming far too frustrating.

Biting his lip, he wanders to the nubs of her nipples, fully dragging a palm over them and reveling in the way she fidgets and her forehead creases up.

This was fun.

And she was fucking killing him right now.

He chuckles quietly at how opposed to this she would be fully awake, but in her sleep, she sure didn't seem to mind.  
Leaning closer, his voice is gruffer but louder. "You liked that?"  
Her eyes snap open, hands grabbing at the sheets as she almost head-butts him.  
Eric merely laughs, pushing himself up from the bed.  
"Get dressed, stiff. I'll be waiting outside." He pulls cigarettes from his pocket, slamming the door loudly behind him.

* * *

"You will wait here." Eric says slowly, indicating the bottom of the steps of the barn which made up Johanna's office. "Do not move."

Nodding, Sarah watches him ascend the steps. He doesn't look back and the sound of his boots clomping above her head tell her he's back to his usual self-confident self.

Minutes stream by. Her legs ache and she yawns loudly, drifting off into a miserable sigh.  
A snort and bash on one of the stable doors captures her attention. She knew there were horses in here from the smell and munching. But the thump on the stable doors ignites the curiosity she was trying so badly to ignore.  
Looking back up the steps, various voices echo down to her, confirming they were into the full swing of business. _One look wouldn't hurt_.

Tip-toeing, so her boots didn't scrape along the floor, she passes by empty stables first, the doors cast aside with just barrels of hay neatly stacked inside.  
Further along, a white horse tips his head over to her, having obviously heard her no matter how quiet she was trying to be.  
Horses, she'd never actually seen in the flesh, usually just pictures. She'd never been this far away from Abnegation before and never really seen much of their world. It looked much larger and intimidating in real life and it's snorting made her anxious, thinking that perhaps it was angry or unfriendly. But it's brown eyes watch her, and the rings of its nose flex calmly.

"Hello." Sarah says quietly, bravely reaching out and touching its nose. When it doesn't back away, she roams up the side of its cheek, to between its eyes and scratches the course hair.

"You're lovely aren't you?" She coos, smiling to herself. There were many things in common between her and this horse. It was locked away, guided most of its life and its future planned out. Again, it makes it think of her family. What it would be like after the few days pass when she has to face them again. More than anything she is angry. Angry with them for expecting so much, not preparing her and listing her life choices away.

When the horse quirks it's head up, she drops her hand. It was as if her thoughts had passed between them and it gazed at her for a long while.

"I thought I told you not to move."

Sarah turns to a crossed armed Eric, looking her up and down. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know how long you were going to be and I heard the horse and I've never seen one before." She rambles off. "…I just wanted to see the horse." Her words rushed and panicked.

"Just wanted to see the horse?" His eyebrows quirk, mocking her shaking voice. He passes her, lingering a look over his shoulder and confidently runs a hand through its mane. "I like horses, do you?"

"They're majestic, sir." Sarah watches him curiously.

"That's the word I would have used." For a few second he idly pays his attentions to the horse, then turns quickly. "You hungry?"

"Yes, sir."

"Come then, stiff."  
As always, she follows.

* * *

Amity is intimidating. Not like how she felt within Dauntless. Amity is intimidating for other reasons…they were too happy, too peaceful, caring for strangers they didn't know.

Eric treats them unkindly, glaring at them, pushing them out of his way and even nudges his tray in front of a whole group of Amity men. They don't say anything, but they weren't happy with him. Sarah quickly chooses the same food he does, not knowing what was best to eat here and too embarrassed at his rudeness to take her time as she followed him.  
"Stiff." Eric beckons her to keep up. When approaching, he shoves a roll of bread onto her tray. "Eat up. We got a long day."

"Yes, sir."

They take a seat with the other Dauntless, eating their food quickly. Eric timely finishes his in the space of a few minutes, peering at her expectantly. "Eat the bread." She nods, picking it up and taking a meek bite. Eric tries his hardest to not smile, glancing at his lap briefly to compose himself.

After a few bites, he nudges her arm. "How's the bread?"

"Why do you keep asking me about the bread?" She's smiling, though, toothily, so the effects of the serum were gracing her veins.

"Oh nothing, just an Amity specialty considering you've never been here before." He grins darkly. "Here, have the rest of mine." Eric hadn't touched the bread. She takes it without a second thought.  
When she's finished Eric stands, "Come, Stiff."

"Where are we going?"

"For a walk. You have never been to Amity before have you." The smile on his face never lifts and he helps steady her when she stands on wobbling legs.

"I feel…funny…"

"You'll be alright." He guides her from the dining hall, out into the open air by the small of her back. "How are you feeling now?" The concern in his voice unordinary.

"I feel…good…really good. Are we going to see the animals? I really liked seeing that horse earlier…I'd really like to ride one. I bet that's fun…"

"Is that what you want to do?"  
Sarah looks up at him from her side wondering why he was nonchalant. His eyes gaze out to the people around them going about their business, just as they flick down to her. He smirks. "Stop staring at me, Sarah."

How long was she looking at him? She doesn't even know.

"I'm not staring. Just looking…" Her hands fly to her mouth. She did not mean to say that so openly. "I mean…" She laughs, trying to hide it at first till it just spills out.  
"I can't think…My head feels foggy. I can't stop smiling, I'm sorry, sir…" Not taking any notice of the quiet route they are taking down the side of baron greenhouses, she trips over the uneven pathway, giggling, and grabbing Eric. "I think I need to go lie down, I think I'm-

His fingers curl over the tops of her arms, stopping her in her tracks and halting the constant nonsense. Next his body is so close, she tilts her head away from him, peering into the grey-blue eyes and towards the pupils completely blown.  
The Dauntless Leader palms the side of her face with an incredible gentleness she would never have thought he could possess. His thumb trails to her bottom lip and lazily drags it down, exposing her bottom teeth before releasing the skin. The other hand moves to the back of head, nimbly reaching the band of her bun and pulling it out till the hair falls down her back. But the fingers never stop massaging against her scalp, his thumb still drawing outlines around her mouth.

"Mr. Coulter…what are you doing?" Sarah's breathing has increased but her body doesn't tremble like it did before. The dewy eyes peer up at him widely, and he concentrates mainly on those rosy lips of hers when he talks.

"I'm fucking tired of that bun Sarah, if I'm honest." Eric's fingers ghostly run through the ends of her hair. "And there's a ton of other things that annoy me. One of them being, I want to kiss you, until your lips are sore and you beg me to take you."

"Take me where?" She blinks.

Sighing in frustration, he pulls her by the back of her head to him, hungrily capturing those tormentingly full lips and tightening the hold on her neck. She tries to talk, so he bites her bottom lip in retaliation conjuring up a sharp yelp to which he juts his tongue out to that innocent mouth of hers. That's his first ever taste of what she was keeping from him.  
He swore he could taste the purity, and he was taking it, greedily.  
Sarah tries to untangle herself from his grip but he pulls her back by her hair, tilting his own head to peer down at her and she looks just as afraid and whitened as he expected, spurring him on.  
"Did I just steal your first kiss?" Eric says smugly, half-smirking. Already fully knowing the answer.

"Yes."

His teeth hit hers this time, and he groans into her mouth, the week's effort of holding back churning deep in his loins. His breath increases and his control completely challenged with the frail object in his hands.  
"Kiss me back, Sarah." He murmurs onto her mouth, twisting the hair in his hands and now yanking her head back. A gasp erupts from her mouth.  
"That's an order. I don't like being disobeyed." The once sound tone now coming across angry more than anything, and their eyes lock for the briefest of moments.

"No!" Sarah's hands push against his chest but he's unmovable, causing another harsh pull on her hair verging on painful. But for some reason her body won't allow her to fight back, not moving from her position.  
The plight swells his frustration, he grabs the back of her thighs, lifting her up to his waist and it forces her to hold onto him.

"I always get what I want. One way or another."

"Maybe it's about time someone refused you."

"That's a death wish."  
A large hand drags her face to his. This time she forces her lips shut but when his other hand, under the backs of her thighs moves to the round ass he got a view of in the early hours of the morning, the fingers curl till they pull the skin of her most precious area. The fogginess of her mind doesn't help, just renders her unable to process the thoughts and feelings properly and she can't understand why.  
The erection in his pants pushes in between stocking clad thighs and everything suddenly overwhelms her.

" _Eric_ …" That was a mistake. She's never used his first name and he growls on her mouth, forcing his tongue to hers where she signs her own death certificate by slightly flicking against him.  
There's a guttural hitch in his throat, a ragged breath through his nose and slowly she slips into his constant barrage of advances. She pushes her mouth to his all of a sudden and he quirks at the sudden change of heart, quickening and deepening the once forced kiss.

Sarah's unskilled and messy, but he doesn't mind. It's what he wanted, to break everything about her in, and it's all he can think about. Perhaps if it weren't for the bread she would have been far more volatile  
But god damn, she tasted delicious, the thought of her having had no one else before him salivates his mouth.

This was a fucking stiff, but no ordinary stiff. Anyone could see it. She was the pearl on the beach that had to be sieved out through the sand, - and she had beautiful pearls…

Pulling her head back by her hair, he has to stop this before he took her right there and then in the fields of Amity. The oceanic eyes watch him alarmingly. Both their breaths heaving - Eric smirks.

Her lips do indeed look sore and he can see the smear of blood on her lower lip where he'd taken the audacity to bite the little bitch when she refused him. He licks the blood and once again tastes the metallic velvet he took from her once before.

Setting the stiff down on her feet, small hands touch gently to sore lips, pulling away to look at the evidence. "You hurt me." Her eyes well up, and one tear slips her cheek.

"That's the thing, stiff…I meant to."

Sarah knocks him out of the way and she fleas up the track. Eric knows she won't go far, and she certainly won't forget her first kiss.

* * *

A/N

Oh poor Sarah

Thanks for all your support on this bizarre story. Didn't think I'd get so much love for it, but low and behold I'm not the only one who likes a bit of grit!

Interestingly, I looked the definition of a gritty/dark stories. And the definition couldn't be more true. "A gritty story is a passionate story." And that: "Gritty explains a kind of truth in the sense of human nature and experience. The characters have some roughness, imperfection and complexity of the real world. People change but don't necessarily grow or improve."

Passion is exhausting as well as exhilarating.

So yeah, I'm just going to leave you with that. I really do live true to my name. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Johanna's voice seems to drone on, and if she couldn't take the facial expression of Eric as a hint to how irrelevant her opinions were to him, she is just as stupid as he thinks she is.  
He'd actually let one of the footmen take notes and he keeps his face towards the small window, every now and then seeing a bird or two in the distance fly by in the sunset. _That's_ how interested he is.  
Usually, the Stiff would be here, jotting down the information instead, but he allowed her to have some alone time. Wherever she is. And that is the one thought that is playing on his mind.

 _Where is she?_

Eric hasn't looked for her nor bothered to send someone to find her. There is only really one place she would be right now, and that would be where they are sleeping.  
It just bothers him that it isn't confirmed.

With one leg slung out under the desk and fingers tapping, he frowns in frustration. "I think that's quite enough for today." He announces into the room, his voice thick and slow from being sat there too long. It was beginning to get dark now too. They'd been here since his little experiment on the stiff girl.

"Certainly, Mr. Coulter." Johanna folds the page of safety regulations they were on, placing them on the desk neatly. "Be sure to ask if you need anything."

He's about to outright blow her off with some insulting sarcasm, but halts, the words catching in his throat. "Actually, there is." Johanna's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Have a meal sent to my room."  
He was sure the little Stiff wouldn't have eaten.

"I'll see to it. Good night." She bows her head, watching Eric stand and grab his stuff lying on the desk.

He doesn't say anything back, just leaves the room with the footmen behind and waving him off when they reach the bottom steps.  
It's cold this evening, his own breath coiling in the air while he walked. It reminds him of smoking, the urge to puff on a good cigarette, the thought too strong to ignore. Pulling the packet and quickly lighting one while still walking, he chugs on it. Funnily enough, he never finished a full cigarette, it was just the need to taste, to hold it between his fingers.

When he gets within a few feet of their quarters, he takes one last drag, savouring it and noting the dim light creeping out the bottom of the door. But its deftly quiet. Too quiet.

Stubbing the cigarette out quickly with the toe of his boot, he opens the door only to find Sarah asleep on her bed. She's lying on her front, under the covers. Hands pushed under the pillow with her chin tilted down slightly towards her shoulder.

Eric stands in thought in the middle of the room with his hands pocketed. His bed is made, clothes folded neatly into a pile at the end. A bunch of common daisies sits underneath the lamp on the side.  
 _Seems like she had a little adventure_ …

More likely than not the Amity serum had exhausted the little Stiff.

Looming over her, he stares for long while, about to wake her and ask exactly where she's been this afternoon, but he changes his mind when the small scab on her lip from his antics catches his eye. It looks glossy, a little swollen.

Eric smiles. Leaning forward, he runs a fingertip over it, trailing to a piece of hair and pushing it from her face. She frowns slightly in her sleep, then shudders.  
When she doesn't wake, he sits gently on the side of her bed, pushing his face into his hands, feeling the weight of tiredness creep in.

"Sarah." Eric nudges her. "Wake up."

Sarah's head lifts sleepily, blinking a few times and shrinking back onto her shoulders when she realises his proximity. "What's wrong? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go to sleep. I just wanted to lie down and it was cold so-"

"Your dinner will be arriving soon." With that, he walks away, closing the bathroom door behind him.

That leaves her with a mountain of unsure thoughts. Sarah's annoyed, bewildered and completely lost with him all at the same time.

The man lacked control. He kissed her. Bit her lip on purpose. Then orders her food?  
Never knowing exactly where she stood with him or what he was going to do next, it felt permanently exhausting always walking tightly on egg-shells.

Earlier that day, her despair had been to keep running, stopping just before she left the track of Amity and for the surrounding woods. There she had wept some more like the pathetic girl she was before wiping her eyes and landing on a small patch of daisies. She doesn't know why she did, but she felt the urge to pick them and bring them back with her. When she got back, that's when she saw the messy beds and clothes, and by habit, tidied them up. Not long after, a grave tiredness took hold, and she changed into her nightwear and wrapped herself in the covers. Saying to herself: Five minutes…

Sure enough, there is a knock at the door that pulls her from her thoughts and she jumps up to get it.

A friendly Amity woman stares back, holding a covered tray. "Mr. Coulter ordered a meal."

"Yes, thank you. I'll take it." Simultaneously the smell wafts up and her mouth waters. She didn't realise how hungry she was. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ma'am."

If she could run with the tray and jump on her bed without spilling anything she would. She kicks the door with her bare foot, hurriedly taking a seat back on the bed and pushing her back against the wall, legs out in front, feet dangling off the edge.

The thought of how happy the food made her tickles slightly and she chuckles quietly to herself.  
It's some sort of a potato with vegetable dish, and the first bite is delicious.

The happy feeling dissipates when Eric emerges from the bathroom. Just a towel is slung messily around his waist. The water still dripping down his muscle coated body and his hair is pushed back obviously by hand and not holding with other products.

Sarah's forkful of food splatters onto the plate.

This was the same man only hours ago forcing his lips against hers, and she can't help but think that if he wasn't such an asshole, there would be multiple attractive traits about him.

Playful eyes catch her stare.

"Er…um…thanks for the food."

"Are you checking me out, stiff?"

"No, sir." _Lie, Sarah. Lie,_ her brain calls. "You'll catch a cold if you don't take the time to dry properly." She could hit herself.

Strangely enough, he starts to laugh. "It looks like you want to do it for me…"

Sarah just shakes her head, throwing more food in her mouth for distraction but finding it incredibly hard to chew – that and the cut on the lower lip hurt. When he turns his back to her and pulls the towel from his waist, she looks away. "Are we going back tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Depends." Stealing a glance, he's rubbing his upper body and guilt from watching swirls in her stomach. "Where have you been?" Eric uses an accusatory tone, unbothered he's so exposed and seems peculiarly relaxed.

"I took a walk. Then came back here."

"Did you see or speak to anyone?" Finally, he puts on some black boxers.

"No, sir."

"Good."

Finishing the food, she places the tray by the door and uses the bathroom. Upon returning, Eric is on top of the covers on his bed, propped up on an elbow, watching her on his side. She stops in her tracks for the briefest of moments, and he taps the space near his stomach, indicating for her to sit with him.  
Her body is rigid, her back completely straight and trying not to touch him, even when he shifts forwards.

"You shouldn't be ashamed that I kissed you."

"I'm not ashamed." The words rush out and she bows her head.

"Oh, I know you are. Don't take me for an idiot."

"I-I…. don't think you're an idiot." He was a lot of things, but an idiot wasn't one of them. Dangerous – yes. "I'm not happy is all." Eric didn't like liars, so she avoids a modest reply.

"You're angry. I understand." He reaches out, gripping the back of her hand that sits on her thigh.  
"Did I ever tell you that I can predict the future?" Sarah doesn't say anything, just side-eyes him a little then back to his hand resting on hers, wanting nothing more than to wrench away from him.  
It begins moving down her thigh, along the cotton of her nightwear to the edge where he forces both their fingers to curl over the end of the material.

"…And I predict that you will _never_ be leaving Dauntless."

Her palm is then dragged back up her bare skin, the gown scrunching along with it as he brings their entwined hands back up.

"I'm Abnegation. I have… plans… that don't involve Dauntless." The panic rises inside. This was now a red zone. That ebbing from their kiss earlier is now reappearing with his wanderings but she knows better than to move away and risk maddening him.

"They are going to change," he states matter-of-factly, running their hands back down the _inside_ of her thigh this time, then letting his neatly cut nails scratch at the skin as he trails lazily upwards. Involuntarily, a forbidden sensation runs up through her stomach and her eyes flick to his, the breath caught in her throat.

"You do know that the benefits of your services are highly rewarded…" He uses the fingers between hers to massage the soft skin of her inner thigh, acting like he didn't know he was doing it as he peers around the room. Sarah's legs tense under his touch, and he smirks.

When her mouth suddenly becomes dry, she tries to swallow. "Uhm, yes… I've heard." His hands move again, uncomfortably high, and she quickly grips his wrist, scooting her ass till she's barely sitting on the bed anymore, merely perched. "I'm also aware of the faults of working for Dauntless, _sir_."

"Mmm?" He hums, sitting himself up. "Which are…?"

Eric moves till he's behind her and she fights the urge to look. "Danger…victimization…the effects on my family-" She yelps when strong hands nimbly scoop her up and he jams his legs underneath her, causing for her to be sitting on his lap. "…Then - then there are personal reasons."  
Sarah fights the urge to lean away when he pushes her hair to one side, exposing the delicate skin along her shoulders and placing his lips there. His hands slip down her outer thighs again and roughly drags the material up to the waist. "Sir, this is wrong. Please."

"Relax, Sarah. See how the other side lives once in a while."

"I have no wish to see—" She doesn't get to finish. He grabs her hips under her nightwear and pushes her hard onto his lap, still keeping his mouth on her skin. The sensation is something entirely new and awareness slips from the Abnegation's mind.  
The erection through his boxers can be felt underneath her, just keeping them apart by the thin layer of material. Eric moves slowly, purposefully pushing her down against him. She has no control over the movements. With her legs hanging off his and barely touching the floor, she had no leverage.  
The thought causes a small whimper.

"Stop thinking." He whispers in her ear darkly, his hot breath slick on her neck.  
Sarah will never win. She lets her eyes close, imaging she is somewhere else, with someone she loves. Trying desperately to reach the uncaring, professional side. Trying to act like how her Mother would want her to in this situation.

When small fingers sheepishly entwine with his he smirks on her skin. "Good." Then sucks the flesh of her neck into his mouth ravenously, uncaring for marks or pain.

Twisting one hand free and scooting it towards the apex of her thighs, he concentrates on the clipped, anxious pants slipping from sore lips, sourcing it as an act of encouragement.

Rolling her hips slightly against him, he groans. "That's it." His grip tightening as he skims across the wet slits between her legs. She freezes, even though her desire is specifically melting onto his fingers and destroying his boxers.

Pushing at his forearm and wiggling till she can place a toe on the floor, she stands hurriedly. "Stop! …I-I can't do this."

"You sure as hell seemed to be enjoying it. Why let your stupid faction get in your way?"

"You're mistaken." The words more laced with anger than she'd liked. "This is me, respecting myself." Trembling, she readjusts her wears, not bothering to look back at him. Sickening at the thought that she had actually rather enjoyed it when she tried to imagine it wasn't him grabbing at her body and trailing teeth along her skin.

"Shove your self-righteousness up your ass. All you Stiffs see grey when things are clearer in black and white."

"So you agree then?" That surprises him, and she makes the point of looking over her shoulder when he doesn't say anything. "Abnegation isn't fit to be within the council."

Eric has underestimated her. "What do _you_ know about the council?"

"I know that Dauntless, Candor, and Erudite would like to kick us from the council. Our opinions are too accommodating."

"Careful, stiff. You're getting a little too brave."

Sarah grips her shaking hands together, concentrating on them as her frustration quells. Suddenly her voice is despairing, rushed and panicked altogether. "I know that you also tend to get what you want. I also know that you're manipulative, violent and—"

Her body is turned on the spot. Huge hands squeezing her forearms and it is like peering at Death itself when she looks at him.  
She doesn't regret voicing her thoughts, she just wished her voice didn't betray her as much as it has been doing when it came down to anything to do with him.

"Finish that sentence, I dare you…" The words are snarled through tight lips.

"A bully!" She yelps with pain from her arms, tears skimming under her eyes, "I will _never_ let you in! To my mind or my body!" If not for his hands she'd probably be a crumpled heap on the floor, her legs unable to keep her weight as they quake and her head rushes from adrenaline and fear.  
Sarah can see Eric's chest heaving while he stands quiet, his eyes flashing with rage.

"Right… _I better live up to my name then_ …" he growls lowly. He drags her with him, heading for the bathroom.

"Stop! Wait…" There was no point in struggling but she does so anyway, throwing her weight in and trying to pull in the other direction. "Eric!"

He turns on the basic shower, using just the cold and throws her forcibly against the tiles, the sound of her hands smacking against them as she tries to steady herself.

The water burns, causing her to move away and flinch but she's dragged back under. At one point him holding her till she could barely catch a breath as the water poured over her head.  
At first, she sobs, and Eric stands there indifferently. Then the sobs turn to violent shivers and he releases her, knowing she won't move now. He'd cooled down that little rampage of hers.

Eventually, her lips turn blue to match her eyes. It actually looked kind of pretty apart from the withered water-soaked scab.  
Having no idea how long he'd kept her there, he shuts off the water, throwing the room into silence. Sarah doesn't move, just hugs her body to herself, her nightwear saturated and see through.

"Are you feeling better?" Eric scoffs as her teeth chatter together. "Look at you, getting all worked up, and for what? For nothing…"  
He makes sure to handle her gently while pulling her away from the tiles, her feet barely working in the process. Sure, he was a little wet from not having shut the curtain, and Sarah's skin was like ice, but he'd broken that defiance that was fierce from earlier, and he fucking loved it.

"Come, let's get you out of those clothes." She peers up at him, goosebumps pitting her cheeks while he undoes the bow he adores. The sloppy wet material is pushed off her shoulders and slaps onto the floor and this time, she doesn't try and cover her body, she just shivers before him. The small framed Abnegation looked whiter than before, and there were blotchy red marks as her skin tries to recuperate.

Shrouding her in a towel, he leads her to the bedroom, sitting the shivering girl down.

"This is what happens, Sarah. Things could be a lot easier. Do you understand?" Sarah nods, looking to the other side of the room, the shuddering breaths catching in her throat.

"Look at me, damn it!"

Slowly, she does, the brightness gone from her eyes.

Eric exhales sharply. "Dry yourself and get some sleep." And just like that, he skulks to his bed, lying down roughly and turning away from her.

She hates him. The first time ever having the twisted thoughts that if there was any way in which she controlled his life in the future, she would let him die and not feel an inch of remorse.

Sarah hates him. _I hate him!_ Her brain screams but on the outside, not even a blink disturbs her composure.

* * *

Maybe he has been a little extreme. Sarah is small, no fat, and he has left her for a long time under the stream.  
The evidence of her annoying weakness is the chattering teeth that wake him in the middle of the night. She's _still_ fucking shivering…

Eric crosses his arms, trying to block out the irritating noise and grinding his teeth. But to no avail. He flings the covers off, marching over, fully poised to drag her out of bed thinking she was more than likely still awake. Only to find her sleeping, but not soundly.  
Around her neck is a ring of black and he frowns at the clothing. He'd left his shirt in the bathroom.

He fingers the sheets back and she's wearing it. The girl was either brave or stupid.

Letting his hand skim across her still damp hair, Sarah opens her eyes.

"Are you cold?" Eric asks, his voice almost a whisper. The blue oceanic eyes clamp shut, her head nodding into the pillow, scared of answering him so honestly.

He exhales for a long moment, then pushes her to scoot towards the wall, awkwardly manoeuvring his body till he could slide in next to her.

Eric doesn't cuddle up to her, she didn't think he would. He turns his back, but the heat he's producing is what her body is craving, and she wiggles till she's almost touching him, her nose lightly stubbing above his shoulder blades. A tremor wrecks through her still and her knees draw up and touch his legs.  
As an act of self-preservation, she waits till he falls asleep to slip her arm and move her abdomen against him. At some point in the night the coldness shifts, because she falls peacefully asleep.

Eric's face is the first thing she sees. Although he's not in the bed with her, he's kneeling beside it, magically fully clothed again.  
"Careful, Stiff. I'm beginning to think you actually like me." Typically, he makes sure that last night's survival tactic didn't go unnoticed.  
Eric nips the collar of his shirt she's wearing, letting it ping back against her chest. "Although, I'm flattered…"

Sarah doesn't say a word. She just sits up, swinging her legs out of bed and reaching for her bag underneath the bed. The blonde waves of her hair are crimped to however she was lying, her bottom lip still thicker than it usually was and her skin was paled against the darkened material of the shirt.

" _Ohhh_ , I get it; you're ignoring me now." Eric passes the grey bag that she failed to find on the first attempt, then follows her towards the bathroom, standing in the doorway so she can't shut the door and eyes up the sweet sight of her in his shirt and her overall appearance looking utterly beat.

" _Please_ … just leave me alone."

"No." He smiles with a closed mouth at her. Eric watches as she pulls her hair back, twisting it familiarly into the standard bun Abnegation. He doesn't miss the way the small hands touch her face then hover by her lip while she allows herself to stare in the mirror for once. Maybe the girl needed a bit of rough housing, a little slap to get her going this morning as she seems to be moving achingly too slow for him.

There is one thing still scratching at the back of his mind though…  
"The answer to your previous question is no." Sarah peers at him in the mirror, confused. "I agree that Abnegation is too accommodating but I don't believe they should be pushed from the council."

Curiosity seems to spark on her face and she pretends to appear unbothered. "Why would you say that? I thought you'd be totally against us."

"Believe it or not, Abnegation is easily swayed when needed, and it keeps the other factions from killing each other when they have someone else occupying their minds."

"My Father has a small part in the council."

"I know."

She peers up at him and he's staring at her intensely. "My sister is interested in joining when she's old enough." Sarah shrugs a little, running the tap and soaping her hands. When she bends down and washes her face, he finally answers with an exhale.

"I know that too."

Whether she had lost her mind or not, she chuckles into the bowl of the sink. "You know an awful lot about me and my family."

"Can you blame me?" Eric watches her eyes when she pulls her head up. They always seem to give away what she is feeling. Right now, she is nervous.  
He passes her the towel she can't find. "If the information from my office would go into the wrong hands, it would be catastrophic," he smiles, playing on his own words.

"I understand."

"Now hurry up. I've to wrap this meeting up with Johanna. Hopefully get the fuck out of here by this afternoon." He pulls at the back of the stupid bun he hated. "But if you're lucky, we can go see the animals." Eric laughs as he walks away.

* * *

Sarah stands idly to one side of Eric at a table, listening intently to Johanna who sits behind her desk facing them.  
"If we can extend this outer perimeter and get the materials we need, the space shortages should be easily fixed. I've had myself and multiple colleagues go over the scales and it works."

Eric shifts forwards onto his elbows and Sarah takes it as a sign to pass the paper to him. She does so quickly, and he looks at her for the briefest of moments. He takes a long while, scouring over it and the room stays quiet.

Lacing her fingers together she pulls her head up from the floor to the people here, feeling as though someone was burning holes into her, and she's right. A man, early twenties with sandy cropped hair smiles at her. Reluctantly, she inexpressively smiles back, peering to the floor again.

"I agree. It seems reasonable. I can't see why you wouldn't get the go ahead."

A victorious grin grows on Johanna's face. "It only means two extra Dauntless patrols in the week too." Eric hums. "So… have we received permission from Dauntless?"

Eric casually moves his arm off the side of the table and then tugs on the skirt of Sarah, pushing the papers at her. "Yes."

Gathering the overly large, mapped paper, Sarah walks towards Johanna, then catches the young man following her with his eyes. _No, don't_ … Her mind screams at him _. Don't look at me_.

"This is great news!" Johanna's hands clap together and the people next to her begin to mumble gratefully.

Turning back towards Eric, Sarah knows he's seen it. His eyes are blank and he's gnawing the side of his cheek in thought. Also that, and the fact he's staring at her and not breaking away, even when she comes to stand beside him again.

Casually he sits back in his chair, kicking his legs out. Sarah cringes slightly when his hand begins to twist her long cardigan down by her side. Even through the layers of clothing, she can still feel his warmth and has to resist the urge to take a step back.  
It reminded Sarah of being a pet that he is toying with: like he is trying to keep himself calm or, on the on the hand, telling everyone in the room that she belongs to him.

"If there is anything else, now is the time," Eric calls, quietening everyone.

"No, thank you, Eric. I'll keep in touch about the progression." Johanna stands and her people follow suit.

Through the movement, scraping of chairs and low mumbling. Eric beckons Sarah with a finger, so she leans down so he can whisper. " _He your type_?"

Sarah blushes, knowing exactly what he's talking about. She has anticipated this type of reaction. "No."

Eric stands, gathering his phone off the table, looking much taller than her all of a sudden. "He thinks he is."

"He's… being friendly. He's Amity."

"He's looking at you." Eric's head picks up, throwing the young boy a look then leaning closer to her. " _Why don't you go and say hello_?" The smirk afterwards is almost a mocking dare and she frowns, just as Johanna clears her throat from behind Eric. But he doesn't look away, almost waiting till Sarah acknowledges the Amity interference.  
Sighing in annoyance, Eric turns to her and folds his arms. "Yes, Johanna. What can I do for you?"

"I need you to sign this meeting off." Her eyes flick to the small Abnegation woman behind him. "It's nice to see a fresh, young face. We don't see much of Abnegation here." An electronic pad is passed to Eric and he begins reading it quickly and signing it off with the same emotion of care he had painted on his expression.

"Amity's beautiful."

"We try our best." Johanna smiles.

Eric's hand lands on Sarah's shoulder and Johanna's eyes squint the tiniest fraction. "We're leaving this afternoon." He announces. "After lunch." He guides Sarah away from the woman, towards the stairs. "See to it that I'm kept informed."

"Yes, certainly. I hope you enjoyed your stay."

Sarah faintly picks up Eric's sarcasm as they begin descending the stairs. " _Oh, it was marvellous_."

He leads her away from a gossiping group gathered at the bottom. Waving off the Dauntless guards with a clipped announcement of the time they wil be heading back.

"Where are we going?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know." They pass by the stables, heading towards a fenced in area with a thick wood in the distance, mostly in silence.

"Tell me about your life growing up in Abnegation."

"What's there to say?" Her hands wind at her clothes. "It was a very strict upbringing. Most of my time was spent looking after my sisters when they were born and then when my brother came along I took care of him too."

"It's unusual for Abnegation to have more than two children."

"They wanted a boy…" Sarah shrugs, trailing off when they reach a penned area. Small pygmy goats mewl and rush from their boxes to greet them. She reaches out to touch the fence and Eric quickly grabs her hand.

"It's an electric fence."

"Oh. Sorry." Scrunching up her nose, she gathers her confidence. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No."

She almost laughs. Eric looks too out of place staring down at the small animals in front of them that persistently call out. His hands are braced behind his back and he stands completely straight. If anything she would say he really didn't want to be here. He probably doesn't.

"We should head back."

"I'll decide that."  
They walk further up the tracks, just the sound of their boots on the gravel for a long time till it almost becomes unbearably uncomfortable.  
"How's your lip, Stiff?"

She touches it absent-mindedly. "Okay." Looking back the way they've walked, they are further than she thought. The wind picks up, and small pieces of hair from her bun become undone, and her clothes flap. Drawing her cardigan closer, she's at the point of asking to head to back because it was far too cold to stay out much longer. But he stops.

"This is far enough." But he stands still, unmoving from his place, and Sarah takes a step back realizing they aren't going anywhere. "I'm going to warn you now. My words aren't to be taken lightly."

"Yes, sir…"

"I can guarantee my actions won't be so amicable next time." Misunderstanding spreads across her face, her eyes studying him. Moving closer, she knows better than to back away this time. "The next man to show any sort of infatuation is going to cost them dearly."

"That's unfair."

"How so?"

"Because they don't know. I don't want to be the reason. You can't just-"

"Sarah… I do what I want. I didn't spend years at Dauntless then become Leader because I'm nice. You're deluded to think otherwise."

She shakes her head, throwing a hand in her hair. "There's so many other women out there totally willing for you to pay the slightest amount of attention to them and you choose me, an Abnegation forced to work for you. Why can't you just leave me alone? I want to work in Abnegation, watch my siblings grow, get married, have a family and have my own home. Tell me now, can you give me any of those things?"

"I can give you plenty of things, but not all." He takes the hand by her head, dropping it to her side. "Sometimes things are beyond your control, Stiff."

"The story of my life."

"It won't be so hard when you accept it. Stop fighting it." Eric touches her face, biting his bottom lip and drawing her closer, watching as the small hairs around her face dance. The oceanic eyes close and arms fold. One single tear stains down the side of her cheek.

"I'm tired. I'm _so_ tired…"

Eric can't help himself. He catches her mouth with his, soothing the split in her lip with his tongue. She shudders underneath him and the small parting of her mouth allows him slowly inside. Keeping it quick, Eric pulls back.  
"Let me make it easy for you."

It thrills him when they kiss again and she doesn't move away. A sense of empowerment brought on by her crumbling in front of him.

A shy hand slides up his jacket, gripping onto his bicep. The other moves up his chest towards his shoulder where the fingers latch onto him.

"I want you to ask me." Large hands steady her at the waist. "Beg me to make it easy for you…"

"I-I…" There is no time for her reply, he trails his mouth across her jaw and to the side of her neck. Unknowingly, she tilts away, allowing him to ravish the soft skin.  
Small hot flooding sparks ignite in her stomach, rushing down her thighs and releasing all able thoughts. The fight seems to drain away. The cold forgotten, the envisions of her future darken.

"Please." Is all she can manage to say.

He breaks away, pulling her with him, back the way they came. "That wasn't hard, was it?"

* * *

It's dark by the time they reach Abnegation. The nights are now coming quicker as the presence of winter is felt in the air.  
Sarah looks back to the truck that waits for her to go inside. She can't see if they are watching, it's too dark.

Opening the door, only her father sits at the table and he seems surprised to see her. "Sarah?" She notes the way he examines her, his eyes flicking up and down until he stands, closing the distance and takes her bag.

Mary runs from downstairs, her judgments made quickly. "Are you okay?" she asks.

"I just want to go to bed."

"But it's still early," John chimes.

"We've missed you." Mary touches her arm, squeezing it affectionately. "Thomas hasn't stopped talking about you either."

Weakly, she smiles. "He okay?"

"He's fine. He's asleep." There's a pause. "Mother's also asleep in the lounge, she had an appointment with the doctor and it's taken a toll on her. I'm sure she'll be happy to know your back."

"Don't wake her. I'm just going to shower and go to bed myself. It's been a long day."

"Of course."

The stares of her family don't go unnoticed as she takes the steps, sauntering to her room quietly. Taking a minute, she perches on her bed, touching her lip, her neck, where Eric had claimed more of the skin.  
Her bedroom feels heavy like she didn't belong here anymore. She doesn't belong anywhere. She doesn't even really know who she is anymore. Her body and mind feel numb and a coldness that reeked of Eric washes over her.

" _Oh god_ …" She trembles into her hand, sniffing away the weighted feeling on her shoulders. Turning to flop against her pillow, she stops. A small paper bag with a note written in her mother's handwriting is neatly placed for her to find. No doubt Mary already knows, and that has been the reason for her peculiar behaviour and why she arrived so hastily to the steps. She was probably checking for signs, seeing if Sarah had changed at all.

 _Sarah,_

 _A contraceptive prescription from the doctor. I felt it was about time.  
_ _One a day. X_

The pills are presented in a small bottle, and she eyes them curiously through the orange tinted plastic.

She now knows what her mom thinks.

Whore.

* * *

A/N

Thanks for all your support.

This is day early because I had help from a lovely friend who helped get this together.

The reviews are fantastic btw!

I hope you enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

The morning stroll to Dauntless now required Sarah to wear a coat. The air was slight with cold. The season having made a swift change suddenly into the depths of winter but the sun still shined, giving hope to warming up by the afternoon.  
She found it ironic. It was a perfect depiction of how she felt. _Change_.  
But never the less, she always started the day with a better optimism from the last. Like the night filtered her pain for her and she was able to cope a little better, clinging onto a small chance that the day would be different. That Eric may be a little kinder…

The guards by the door now know her very well, waving her through quickly and their cat calls were dying down. Sarah swore they even said hello for once, even though it was only said in a sense of amusement.

She enters to the Leader's Suite. Claire busy with papers behind her desk doesn't see her coming till she almost passes. The woman just gives a tight smile in greeting, nodding her head fractionally.

Hesitating by the door for a small moment, she can hear another voice along with Eric's and it instantly makes her stomach turn. But regardless of how she felt, not arriving would be worse.

She knocks with a quick exhale, waiting patiently for the clipped "Yes?" from Eric on the other side before entering.

"Miss Bennett." He drawls her name, smiling, appearing to be in a good mood much to her relief. His eyes finely combed over her for a long moment before she spoke.

"Mr. Coulter." She glances to the same man who was in the canteen with them that time. The one with the dragon tattoo roaming down his neck. "Shall I wait outside?"

"No… Wayne, Sarah. Sarah, Wayne."

Wayne crosses his arms, licking his bottom lip, shifting back in his seat to get a better look. "Well, the pleasures all mine." Sarah just stares blankly at him.

"Lucky for you, Stiff, you've got the afternoon off." Eric's voice pulls her from the distasteful and untrusting look at Wayne.

"I can go home this afternoon?" Her voice is petering on hopeful even though she tries for it not to be.

"Yes. I have to make a trip to Erudite. But first, I need you here." Eric stands, then waves her into his seat. "I need you to type up what's on my desk. I don't have time."

For not having time, they still seem to chat idly among themselves. She tries not to listen in, concentrating on copying everything exactly to how he's written it. Wayne's glances don't go unnoticed, though.

"When can I get my own Stiff?" He eventually asks. "It must be fucking great to have one hanging off your every word."

Eric peers over his shoulder at her, noting the way Sarah eyes the man with distaste. "This one's trouble. Aren't you, Sarah?"

"No, sir."

"See. She constantly defies me." Wayne laughs at him. "The older ones are a lot less hassle."

"But not as _tasty_." Wayne's eyes dance across her face and she scrunches her nose up at him. She gathers he has to be some type of good friend to Eric to be allowed to get away with such innuendoes so openly in front of him. She imagines the two were in initiation together, or on some sort of training to be well accustomed to each other.

"Reign it in." Eric throws a pen at him. "And get the fuck out my office."

Wayne surrenders with his hands, casually standing and dusting off his trousers. "I'll send you the reports from intelligence when I get the chance."

"By twelve, no later."

Sarah watches him leave, as does Eric. He only moves once he's gone, standing behind her somewhere. She concentrates mainly on the screen, but her fingers are frozen suddenly. "Is there a problem?" His voice sounds behind her, closer than she originally thought.

"No…" She wants to desperately ask him about Wayne, but it would be inappropriate and he'd probably take it the wrong way and it would anger him. She's better off keeping it to herself.

"Then why have you stopped?" Sarah turns quickly to retort, but he is inches from her face, above her left shoulder. She looks to his lips by accident, then back to his eyes. He smirks, exaggerating her mistake. "You want to kiss me, Stiff?"

"No."

"No, no, no, fucking no. You use any other words apart from 'stop' 'don't' and 'no'?"

"…Yes." She knows she's pushed it, biting her lip to stop from smiling and turning back to the screen.

"That funny?" His warm breath skims across her neck as his hand leans on the desk, hovering over her.

"I'm sorry." Anxiously, she reads the words on the paper not really taking them in, counting the seconds ticking past.

Eric pushes away from the desk and she's able to breathe again. "Get that finished. I'll be back later."

"You're leaving me on your computer?" Slowly, Sarah looks up at him standing just behind the desk.

"Yeah…why? Shouldn't I trust you?" The glint from his piercing captures her eye when he talks and the tattoos on his neck seem more pronounced today than usual.

"No… I mean, yeah. Yes, sir."

A wry smile forms on his face. "Just don't go through my files. Who knows what you might find…"

* * *

Sarah's finished and idly swinging in his chair when he suddenly storms in. Somehow, the urge to peer through his files she'd managed to fend off. "Go home." With his words abrupt, she quickly stands and he brushes past her, almost knocking her off her feet, quickly tapping into his computer with a weird urgency.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes…" He says distantly without looking up from his work, and without bothering him anymore, she gathers her things, leaving quickly.

Beyond the gates of Dauntless and in the midday sun, it made her feel odd. She peers over her shoulder in case he suddenly changed his mind, expecting him to be standing by the doors and calling her back, but nothing.

Walking quickly, she's happy to be able to spend the afternoon at home. No doubt her family will think she scrimped out and left without him knowing. She suddenly thinks maybe he should have written her a note so she had proof. The thought is moronic and she could almost laugh at how childish it seemed.

Even though it's cold, the sun was full, burning at parts of her clothing but it was refreshing.  
Abnegation is rife, everyone going about their business, greeting her as she passes. But nothing prepares her for the initiates of Abnegation, stopping and staring, the group of girls she passes whispering between each other.

They would never say anything, however. It suddenly overwhelms her that she doesn't have any friends her age. During initiation is when they made their lifelong friends as that's when they would go through a difficult phase and transition in their lives. Sure, she knew people from growing up, but it was never the same. It almost makes her jealous.

Wiping the thought, she just puts her head down and hurries home.

Sarah's Mother is at the table, sewing buttons onto a shirt as she enters. "Sarah, you're not at work?"

"He let me come home…" She says, chucking her bag to the side. "Where is everyone?" Next, she pulls off her jacket, the walk had caused a small sweat on the short stroll home.

"Out back. Perfect weather today for sheets." Sarah knows she's only making small talk, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room. "Why don't you go help if you have nothing better to do?"

Holding back what she wants to say, Sarah nods, leaving through the front door and through the gap between their house and the neighbours towards the squared off area of washing lines. It seems everyone had the same idea this afternoon.

She sees Mary instantly with Thomas, entertaining him while trying to untangle a basket of laundry. The little boy runs with his truck, pretending it's driving.  
Lizzie is further away, looking grumpy as hell, hanging a defiant sheet that keeps catching the wind.

Thomas sees her first, stopping in his tracks. "Sarah!" He yells, pelting towards her and running into her arms.

"Hey you…" She pats his hair down, straightening out his grey jumper. "You're getting so big…you're so heavy now! What have you been eating?"

He giggles. "Everything."

"Including grass!" Mary shouts, flinging a sheet to straighten it and pegging it quickly. Her flush face smiles sweetly and she strolls towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you staying long?"

"I've actually got the afternoon off..." Sarah frowns, thinking about it. The thought that it was a joke still playing on her mind. "Can I help?"

"God, yes! Our neighbourhood has decided to put out their laundry and we have the task of hanging it. I could've cried this morning when Mother told me…" Her smile drops slightly and she fumbles for words awkwardly. "…This weird weather is giving me hell, it's hot but my hands are freezing, how does that work?" Lizzie growls in the distance causing them to all look at her.

"Lizzie's enjoying it I see."

Mary laughs but it fades dismally. "That girl is getting worse. - Since you started working at Dauntless, actually."

 _Maybe Eric was right_ … "Do you think she'll go to Dauntless?"

"The way she's heading, most likely. Why'd you say that?"

"I just… thought it..." Thomas wiggles out of Sarah's arms and drops to the floor, running circles around them again.

Mary signals for her to help, picking up a sheet and straightening it between them. But there's a small lingering silence before she speaks. "Dalton asked after you."

"He cannot have anything to do with me, Mary. And I mean it." The words are clipped and her younger sister falters slightly.

"Sorry, I thought maybe you'd want to know…"

"I'm not interested."

"Is that you speaking or Mr. Coulter?" Sarah doesn't reply, just looks anywhere but her. "I'm not stupid. I am your sister. You can talk to me." Mary uses her best empathetic voice.

"I know…" Sarah huffs, running a hand over her head then decides to sit on the grass. "I'm…" She grimaces. "…I'm not allowed to see other men."

"That's silly. Why?" Then a dawning look shadows on her face.

"He's-"

"He's kissed you, hasn't he."

"Yes – but I have not slept with him before you ask." Sarah puts a palm up to stop her talking. "And no, I did not want him to kiss me either."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Poor Dalton, he's not really going to match up to that, is he?" She smiles, and Sarah can't help the small lift in her cheeks but it drops just as quickly.

"It's not _passion,_ Mary."

"Then what is it?"

"You'd have to ask him." Pulling a piece of grass Sarah throws it with distinct annoyance. "I don't want to think about him while I'm here."

"Okay, I understand. Let's get this done and we can take Thomas for a walk or something. He hasn't seen you very much."

"That sounds great." She smiles and Mary offers her hand, pulling her to her feet.

"No matter what, I'm here okay?"

Nodding, she fights back the urge to cry suddenly for reasons she couldn't even understand. Maybe it was the fact Mary was the only one there for her. Or maybe it was the fact she felt a small lift of weight off her shoulders. Regardless, she sniffs away the grave emotion, forcing her feet to move and her mind to forget. Just for now.

* * *

It feels strangely warm and relaxed around the family table. The bread is passed between them. The hotpot of food served out by their Father. Thomas is babbling away about his truck to their Mother and Sarah just sits tranquilly smiling at her family in the orange glow of the dim light above their heads with a feeling of normalcy gracing her.

Bygones be bygones, she'd missed them.

Mary makes a bland joke about Lizzie appearing moody over the laundry today just as Sarah takes a bite of her roll, almost choking on it.

Till there's a knock at the door.

The entire family freeze and her mother swipes a hand at John to answer it. "Who would be knocking at this time?" Upon her words, Sarah finds it hard to chew suddenly, swallowing thickly and peering towards the opening door.

"I hope I'm not disturbing." That voice. She would recognize it anywhere.

"No, certainly not, Mr. Coulter. We have just started our tea…are you staying for a while? Would you like to join us?"

Mary stares at Sarah as she begins to fold into herself.

"As long as it isn't any hassle." Finally, he steps in the doorway. Finely suited, his jacket buttoned all the way to the top with the collar shrouded around his face. He looks fresh and too overly large for their small home. Eric takes one long sweep of the room and settles directly on her. His eyes glint for a fraction of a second before he's already walking up to the table and Sarah moves further down the bench, allowing him to place himself next to her.

"Sarah." He says lowly in greeting while she still stares bewilderingly at him.

"Eric."

He smirks at the nervous warbling tone in her voice. "I was just passing. I wanted to make sure Sarah made it home this afternoon in one piece."

"How thoughtful." Her mother coos. "Mary, grab another bowl from the kitchen." Still, the rest of the family stare in silence.

Quickly the utensils are set in front of him and the young sister takes a seat.

"Please, don't let me disturb you. Carry on."

"Well, you are lucky tonight, Mr. Coulter. You couldn't have arrived on a more perfect night. Sarah and Mary made their famous apple pie." Sarah cringes because of her mother.

"That good, huh?" He nudges her with his knee, his grey eyes flicking down to her. "So…" He says rather loudly, at the time still looking at her but turning away towards her father. "…How are you fairing with the council?"

"There isn't a place for me at the minute, but I've been working closely with Marcus."

Eric hums, and Sarah knows that expression on his face. The thoughtful, knowing one that screams trouble. "I heard there may be a position soon."

"How so?" John seems taken aback. A frown of interest appearing on his face and his spoon drops slightly.

"Every five years we like to mix up the rotation. I've personally seen to it that the other members of Abnegation get a leg in the council. A bunch of skeletons is far from informing." Eric smiles. "…The other factions seem to agree and live by the same requirements."

"The council are chosen wisely between ourselves and votes from the other factions."

"Well, John." Eric leans on the table. "I've been working closely with Sarah, which made me delve deeper into your history. I have taken it upon myself to put you forward. I hope that's not of any offence."

"Are you serious?" Her mother suddenly blurts ecstatically, the cutlery bouncing off the bowl.

Eric looks at Sarah again, this time it's more of a darkened look than before. "Deadly."

"Thank you…thank you…" John begins muttering. "That's incredibly generous of you, Mr. Coulter."

"Eric." He corrects him. "…Call me Eric."

"Why do you have tattoos on your neck?" A little voice speaks from the other side of the table and Lizzie scoffs.

"Thomas!" Her mother berates him. "Keep your thoughts to yourself. Mary, take him to bed, he's finished and he's up early."

"Yes, mother." The two leave quickly, Mary guiding him along with her hand.

"I'm sorry Mr… Eric."

"Curiosity signifies intelligence."

Sarah feels herself boiling. Unable to keep quiet any longer. "You could've called me to see if I got back alright instead of wasting your time, sir"

"I consider it time well spent actually. I was passing anyway; it was no bother. Why? Do you want me to leave, _Sarah_?"

The family scorn her with different looks of intent but she keeps her eyes firmly on him. "…No." But the tone is the complete opposite. The same as the squinted look she gives him.

"Good. You should _eat_." He signals to her full bowl, emphasizing the word 'eat' with malice.

"So Eric…" Her mother begins but Sarah can't concentrate. Eric slides his hand onto her thigh underneath the table, massaging and squeezing while her mother drones on in the background. She tries distraction, eating from her bowl, watching him casually pick at his food as if he's not touching her intimately in any way. His fingers push at the material of her skirt, skimming underneath it to the top of her stockings and he pulls at the band.

"What's it like being at Dauntless?" Lizzie speaks loudly over her mother, capturing everyone's attention and she begins cowering from the glares, but still keeps the question lingering.

"Are you interested in Dauntless, Elizabeth?"

Lizzie blushes on the use of her full name. "I think Dauntless is the best faction." She hesitates, and Sarah peers up at Eric when his fingers still, noting the way he is processing the younger sister and she doesn't like it. "They have the best training, the leading roles, and the other factions back Dauntless no matter what. What's there not to like?"

"You couldn't be more right… Dauntless strive to get what they want. Never ceasing to explore different ways of making the five factions run smoothly. A lot would say Erudite are the masterminds behind the set-up, but you don't see Dauntless begging for protection or safeguarding the factionless." He winks and Lizzie changes a whole other shade of red.

"Did you always want to become Leader?"

"To put it lightly, I know what I want and I always get it. Isn't that right, Sarah?"

"Your goals are unquestionable." She says disinterested and he laughs quietly to himself.

"Sarah doesn't always agree with me. As you can see."

" _That's Sarah for you_ …" Lizzie whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Shaking her head, she stubs out the urge to angrily insult Lizzie, swirling her spoon in her broth as she speaks quietly. "Violence isn't my forte."

"Subordination is key." Eric's reply is tight.

"Respect is earned, not granted."

"Fear is control."

"Fear is temporary, and you'd be mistaken to rely on it." Sarah and Eric bicker, dropping to a lengthy silence and no one dares to move or say anything as she watches his eyes ice over.

"Perhaps you should have a hand in trying to run Dauntless, Sarah. I think your opinions would change extremely quickly."

"I have no wish to play any part in Dauntless…" She tries to hide the whimper when his hand tightens on her leg, gripping the skin, feeling the bruises already forming. "… _sir_."

"Excuse our daughters, Eric. Perhaps you should go get the pie, Lizzie?" But the mothers face is pale. John stands gathering the cutlery and the family mumble incoherently to themselves about stupid things in the twisted atmosphere, obviously trying to divert the attention.

Eric leans and whispers. " _I didn't know you felt so strongly_ …"

" _My family may be deluded, but I'm not_."

" _Maybe I should be more careful around you, wouldn't want to jump start your brain into active thought now… I can't say that I don't like it though…"_ Mary suddenly sits at the table distracting him. His eyes alight with playful vengeance. "And you're Mary…" He says tilting his head, his hands suddenly begin wandering up and down Sarah's leg idly again.

"Yes sir."

"It's amazing, you and your sister are _so_ alike. Tell me, do you share the same opinions?"

"I have never been to Dauntless so I couldn't say, sir."

"Interesting…" He drawls, lazily scraping his nails against Sarah's skin, raising an eyebrow when he feels her eyes on him. His antagonizing was obviously working.

Looking over her head to John entering, the pies been cut, served onto individual plates and it does in fact smell delicious. "What can't you do…sing, bake, clean…"

She rolls her eye. The hands still wandering her leg now don't feel so bad, growing used to him touching her. They are warm against her skin, rough from his work but not entirely uncomfortable. Even when he does seem to get brave and venture higher, she doesn't cringe away as much as before. The only thing that crosses her mind is whether or not any members of her family had noticed it.

When everyone's seated, they carefully eat their dessert. A nervous, electric energy of uncertainty in the air along with the tapping of spoons.

"So…" Eric announces loudly, his voice reverberating through her chest on his husky tone. He begins talking about Amity and their trip there, his touch becoming rougher and impatient as he talks. She briefly wonders if he's thinking about their time together and what he saw. In her side view she catches him biting his lip when their mother would reply and he would glance down at her, his light blues storming.

A white tingle begins to form, especially when he exhales sharply, grabbing at her knee and pulling her legs wider.

Along with the sweet taste of apple, her head begins to rush and her cheeks turn a shade of pink as the heat rises quickly up her back. She tries squirming but he only grips tighter. Luckily, her parents were too absorbed in what Eric was feeding them to even grace her with a glance. Now she's slightly thankful for it.

"Isn't that right, Sarah?" Eric suddenly says piercingly, squeezing her twice to get her attention. One eyebrow raises as she lifts her head and he appears smug.

"Err…What's that?"

"We were talking about Amity. How the new plans are going ahead... They were in desperate in need of the space…"

"Uh, yes." The swirling figure of eight he's tracing across her skin bristles her more than she likes. "Amity's very cramped."

Eric's laugh is quiet and he pries the attention on him again by mentioning some other random fact Sarah doesn't have an inch of care for. All she can is concentrating on his touch, and trying to not to make a noise.

Somehow she manages to finish the food in front of her, then reaches down, digging her nails into the back of his hand, trying to prise it off. Big mistake. He traps her, pushing her fingers to brush over the material between her legs. It suddenly becomes all too much.

"I-uh!" Sarah stands, tripping on the bench and tumbling over it in the process. Everyone stares at her, Eric biting his little finger trying not to laugh. "…Excuse me."

"Sarah!" Her mother yells after her, but she's already grabbing the long coat by the door, shrugging it on and letting the door slam behind her.

The air is a relief. She breathes deeply in, tilting her chin towards the sky, gripping to the sides of her coat as if she may just lose herself on the spot. The Dauntless truck outside their house disturbs the calming thoughts she so desperately craved, so she slips quickly down by the side of the building, back into the open green. Some of the laundry has been collected but not all. The night is already dark and it sets a haunting, story book atmosphere she'd only ever heard about.

Still her heart races, for other reasons than fear.

"Stop running away."

Sarah sighs hearing his voice, moving more towards the floating clothes, winding her way between the rows of them. "I'm not. I'm ignoring."

"Same thing…" His voice echoes somewhere behind her, so she turns, ducking under a line of garments. "…this is a new game, Sarah…" She spots a shadow, so moves to the next, running her hand along the top of it, trying to see him in the dark to no avail. Till he just steps in front of her on the other side.

Eric smirks. For once her eyes looked sinfully playful, darting around his face, keeping the distance between them. "…those eyes…" She blinks at him a few times before breaking her sight shyly, moving slowly along as her fingers skim the rope.

"You're playing with fire."

"Go home, Mr. Coulter." Her voice soft. "Stay away from my family."

"It's not your family I'm here for, _Miss Bennett_."

She looks up at him walking on the opposite side to her, making herself move quicker. "I thought my family were deluded, but obviously you are as well."

"If you think I'll stop, think again."

"You only want what you can't have."

"I can have anything I want." He pings the line her hand is on and she moves away. Her chest begins to constrict, her breathing heavy as she can hear his boots scuffing the grass from behind.

"You can't have me…"

Eric grabs her hips pulling her body back to him, throwing his hand over her mouth when a surprized wince escapes. "Shh…" He watches her chest heave till it settles. "You feel that burn in your stomach?" He holds her close, his face scraping against hers, still keeping a hand covering the quivering mouth as she trembles against him.

"Because I know you do…" Using the other arm to move around to the front he spreads his fingers across her stomach. "You want it just as badly… no matter what lies you keep telling yourself. It's only going to get worse…" The hand moves upwards, cupping her breast through the fabric of her clothes, kneading faintly. "…And eventually, you'll snap."

She breathes deeply through her nose, trying to say completely still and calm but her voice has shrunk to barely non-existent and she can only whisper. " _I'm scared of you_."

"You should be."

He squeezes too hard and Sarah bites the heel of his palm in one last attempt and mainly out of fear, tasting his blood instantly in her mouth. "Bitch!" He hisses, then forcibly shoves his hand up her skirt, finding the material of her underwear, cursing her again and pushing it to the side. Rubbing forcibly against her, she struggles to break free. "Stop, Sarah. Stop. Don't think." The cage of his arms solidly restrain her.

 _Don't think_. Echoes into her mind. _Don't…think_.

She whimpers as a fingertip enters her slowly, pushing its way as he tests her. His arms stay unbreakable, wrapped around her, one below, one framing her own. He bites at the skin on her neck as the finger pulls back, only to be met with another that alternate in slow, tedious movements.

Eric rubs his palm against her clit, having to almost hold her steady as she begins allowing the movements, steady pants escaping each time he pushed into her. The small, faint noises she makes only encourage him to move a little faster, the singing note of her voice svelte, and he can't help but move against her slightly, his hips grinding from behind.

Gingerly, she pulls an arm up, grabbing the back of his neck as he scrapes his teeth along her skin.

"Good girl."

He curls his fingers, alternating to how she reacted to help her come to a swift end. As much as he enjoyed finger fucking her, it gave him a bad case of the blue balls and he knew he weren't getting any. But at least he could imprint the smell of her hair and the sound of her voice along with her warm cunt wrapped around his fingers into his memory. She was sweet, so very sweet…

In his peripheral he sees movement, but doesn't give a fuck. He didn't care. He'd give her family a show if they really wanted.

"Eric… I'm…"

"It's alright…" He soothes her quickly. "Let it happen, Sarah." And on his words, she comes against him, her walls gripping tightly and he keeps a basic rhythm till her purring voice titters out to a breathy silence. Pulling his fingers, he nonchalantly wipes them on her skirt as she leans forward, still in his arms. He holds her like this for a while, letting her come back to her senses.

"It wasn't so bad, was it?"

Sarah pushes away, wiping at her face in self-pity and infuriation, but she freezes on the spot, looking between her house and the neighbours.

She gasps. "Dalton…"

Eric smirks.

* * *

A/N

I'm astonished at the reception this story has received. So of course, what do I do? I update it ;)

Thank you so much! And boy, did it just get a little hot in here?


	7. Chapter 7

Eric stands with his hands in his pockets, an amused expression gracing his features as he bites down hard on his lip, not taking his eyes off of the younger boy who is balling his fists, his face paled and shoulders sagged in disbelief.

"Let me explain…" Sarah tries, but Dalton turns from her, not before eyeing Eric in disgust and striding hurriedly through the gap in the houses. She doesn't chase after him, just stands there, letting her head fall into her hands.

"Well, he got more than he bargained for…"

"You knew someone was there, didn't you! You knew he was there!" She storms over and he almost laughs. Her voice is weak and too sweet to even be conceived as angry or threatening. She tries to shove him with wrath but he doesn't move.

"Easy, stiff. Your Abnegation is slipping."

"When I said I hated you, I meant it. I hate you. I hate everything about you-"

"You hate me because you want me. The big bad Dauntless Leader that evokes feelings the little Stiff can't even fathom." While he talks he walks his fingers across her shoulder. "That's why you hate me, Sarah. Because you know you shouldn't _want it_ "

Her eyes tear up in front of him and she grips the front pocket of his jacket in her small hands. "What's it going to take for you to leave me alone?"

"What's the rush? You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it because I know you did." She slaps him surprisingly, her own breath hitching from her actions and she suddenly becomes fearful, cowering from him when he lunges forwards gripping her wrists. "I'll answer you honestly should I…" He hisses, twisting her arm till she winces in pain. "You'd have to be factionless or dead… But neither of them are going to happen. I say whether or not you pass your initiation and you're too damn selfless to take your own life."

"I hate you!"

"You keep saying, and it's getting boring, sweetheart." Her wailing the same three words over and over of sure distaste for him, sour him quickly. He grips her shoulder, pulling her to him, knocking her off balance as she tumbles forwards and not giving a fuck about the little delicate frame of her body. With his jaw clenched and a frustrated grimace on his face, he suddenly stops, glancing over her head and exhales sharply through his nose.

"Mr. Coulter…" John, her father, looks between the two for a minute, a little struck by what he sees. "…Your phone is ringing."

"Thank you, John." Eric pushes the strands of hair loose from her bun, back behind her ear. She seems calmer, although panting and still fearfully looking up at him. Both of her wrists are captured in one of his hands and he keeps them there, briefly dismissing John with a glare. "I'll be there in a minute…"

"Er…yes…certainly…"

Until he's gone, neither one of them look away or speak. The grip on Sarah's wrist begins to ache, the blood draining from her hands. And the moment Eric opens his mouth, she instantly regrets the pitiful outburst of hers.

"I can't _wait_ to see you tomorrow, Sarah." Finally, he lets go but she doesn't move.

Eric leaves her standing. And there she stays, till the sound of the truck echoes between the blockhouses and the lights eventually disappear. For how long she stands there, she doesn't know. But when she enters their home after a long time swamped and stranded in her many thoughts, the lights are off and table cleared. Only then she notices how cold her skin is as it begins to prickle from the houses warmth.

What bothers her the most, is that no one came to look for her.

* * *

Having not slept well, her stomach twists and churns, her hands shaky and legs unfit to be even keeping her standing. She's read his name plaque multiple times until she finally decides to knock.

"Come in!" Eric's voice is a sheer bark. Upon entering, words fail her as her eyes drift across the room. And the look on his face is of plain delight.

The room is trashed. Paper scattered on the floor. The cupboards contents pulled and thrown halfway across the room and even his beloved green plant has been knocked aside, the soil walked into the carpet.

"I, er, was looking for something…" Is his excuse, but he's smiling.

"I hope you found what you were looking for Mr. Coulter." She says indifferently, placing her bag neatly to one side of the room and shrugging off her coat. She will not let this get to her. In fact, she won't even grace him with a reaction.

Sarah goes about picking up the paper first, stacking it neatly and placing it back on his desk. Feeling those burning eyes follow her with every step. The more she tidies, the more she finds other things he's done. There's even paper under his foot and under the wheels of his chair. His pen pot is cluttered all over his desk and he chews on one, like he always did, with a speculative gaze. The heat of his annoyance could be felt from the other side of the room. So much so, that he lights a cigarette as if on cue.

It only takes a minute for the smell to whirl around the room and Sarah covers her nose briefly, finishing off placing all the equipment back into the cupboard. She dares a small look towards him and it's exactly the expression she imagined. It reminded her somewhat of a smouldering dragon sitting on top of his mound of coins, waiting for that one thing he would never get. She smiles.

"Something funny?"

"No, sir." She picks up the plant pot, neatly putting back onto its cabinet. "Can I open the window?"

Eric watches as she feverishly eyes him over her shoulder, waiting patiently. Even that seems to tick him off; her undeniable lengthy patience. With him. Her idiotic family. Her small, clichéd life. Eric was never one to have any patience at all, and he'd always been called on it as an ambitious trait of his. He'd never really seen the opposite end of the spectrum.

At first, he found it fascinating. The weakness. The easiness of subservience. Please and thanks down to a T and head held low between drooped shoulders.

Human nature was piqued by curiosity and adaptation, and how the Stiffs managed to control it, even in the youths was unnatural.

Now it just pissed him off.

But it only really pissed him off because he'd seen the fight in the young Abnegation girl. Every day she turned up for work regardless and kept a level of professionalism even a standard Erudite would object to. She also wasn't Divergent. He'd checked and found it wasn't in her bloodline either. The last known case of a Divergence was well over a month ago.

It bothered him to have such a fascinating subject before him that outright refused him and detested the ground he walked on. But it also fuelled him.

He was known for his mental capacity to break anything he set his mind to. Women also being part of said subject. He had his pick. Could tap any one of them, married, coupled, regardless and get what he really wanted. The thought had occurred he may have just stumbled on the one that really got underneath his skin, and those wide blue eyes were still on him now, questioning him. _Always fucking_ questioning him.

Realizing he's taking an abnormal length of time to answer, he specifically enhances the word, "No." with his jaw tight.

"Okay." She busies herself again and the length of the skirt of her dress catches his eye. It's just above the knees, far shorter than any other Abnegation. He meagrely thinks she was planted under his services now. To do the exact thing that he never thought was possible. - Distract him. Eric was never distracted.

His exhale has her turn to look at him again, only briefly. Her face is set mysteriously and he can't help himself. "What are you thinking?" He takes a long draw of his cigarette before putting it out in the glass ashtray next to him.

"Nothing-"

"Don't bullshit me."

"Okay…" Sarah turns to fully face him, fiddling her hands together while under the spotlight. "I was thinking; smoking is bad for your health."

Eric lets out a bark of laughter. "You scared for my health now, stiff?"

"I'm not scared for your health, it's just wise advice. Any physician would tell…you" She fumbles for words as he stands. "…they'll tell you it's bad." With the distance closed, she stares at his chest. "You asked…" Her eyebrows bow, creasing in the middle while her breath quickens. The smell of cigarettes is fresh, along with something she only ever smells on Eric. She tries not to look at him because of that thought.

She watches his hands as they twitch by his sides and she prays he won't use them on her, almost wincing at the thought. She swallows quickly. "Is there anything you would like me to do, Mr. Coulter?"

"Oh, it's Mr. Coulter now?" He smirks, nodding his head fractionally and folding his large arms in front of her. "Sure…there's plenty of things I want you to do, but you wouldn't like any of them."

"I'm quite capable of any errand-"

"I'm not talking about work, Sarah." Her silence is enough to have him prickling with excitement. She goes to speak, her mouth opening multiple times but nothing comes out. "Do you want me to tell you?"

"If it's not to do with work, then no." On her words, she takes a step backwards and he takes another towards her.

"I'm going to tell you anyway. I think it's about time I shared my thoughts." Eric scoffs, gripping her arm suddenly and pushing her back towards the desk. "I sit in my office, day after day, while your innocent ass sweeps in _distracting_ me. That's what I was thinking about only two minutes ago. I mean, you act like Abnegation, you kind of look like Abnegation, but to me, you're not." He hoists her up on his desk, knocking some of the paper she'd neatly stacked and she loses a breath, gazing up at him. "Then I thought, is she Divergent… because you and I both know how dangerous that would be for you… but that's not it either…" He parts her legs aggressively, shifting himself till he stands pushed up in front of her and rolls back the fabric of her skirt. "Then we got a little problem with the way you dress. Simple, yet provocative. Your skirt is five inches higher than standard."

"If we wear tights the length can vary from mid-thigh." Sarah's voice breathily lets away the reaction her body is having and he smirks.

"And this…" He pings the band of her stockings. "Is not normal. Tell me, were you placed in this position for reasons other than replacement?"

"That's a thoughtless question and you know it." Cupping the underside of her chin and tilting her face up to his, her lips part. He pushes a thumb into the side of her mouth, drawing it back and rubbing the moisture across her bottom lip, trailing down her jaw. The bright blue eyes dazzle him in a naïve stare.

Suddenly his head jerks forwards and he speaks on her mouth. "Then _why_ do I want you so badly…" His control unravels in front of him as his fingers dig into her skin, the words almost spoken with complete rage like he hated her, like he blamed her.

His other hand wanders on its own accord, moving up her left leg, then dragging the band of the stocking down her thigh.

"Because it's wrong."

"Is it?" Eric pulls her forward against him by a forceful jolt on her hips. "…Because I make the rules." Now he doesn't look at her eyes. He's specifically focused on the annoying garments shrouding his painful hard-on and the detestable distance between them while chewing his lip ferociously.

"…And I make mine." Sarah shoves his hands from her hips, pulling up the material on her leg and slipping off the desk. Standing by the furthest wall away from him she watches him lean forward on the desk, trying not to look at the bulge in his pants as he runs a tongue along his teeth. Sadistically, he laughs.

" _Get out. Get out now, before I throw you out_."

"Yes, sir." She opens the door to leave just making into the hall as he strides towards her, grabbing at her bag and lobbing it into her chest. Next, her coat flies over her head, and Clair staring from down the hall hasn't gone unnoticed as she witnesses the strange sight.

" _Go home until I tell you otherwise,_ " he threatens, slamming the door in her face.

Suddenly everything swirls in her head. Was she now relegated? Factionless? Had she officially failed?  
Clair's eyes burn into the side of her face, so quickly she grabs her coat and dashes past without saying anything, even when Clair tries to call her back. The lift is on their floor and shuts just as the annoying secretary rounds from behind her desk, still calling after her.

Inside, she paces manically, the tears falling freely while she mumbles to herself, pushing her hair while every once and while looking up to the numbers counting down. Hitting the floor of the pit, she almost jumps out of the elevator - and right into a sturdy chest…

"Hey, hey ,hey now…what's the rush darling?"

Sarah quickly analyzes her situation. A small group of Dauntless stands in front of her, four boys, one girl.

"She's crying Jerry, leave her alone," the girl says, her hair tightly weaved back into a ponytail. "You know Stiff's belong to the Leaders."

"Shut it, man…" One of the guys at the back mumbles, knocking her arm.

"Is that right? Do you belong to one of the Leaders, Stiff?" The guy, she now knows are Jerry speaks.

"Yeah, well… I don't know…It sort of… Maybe not." Her hysteria has her confused, the thoughts not really processed properly. He slips his arm around her shoulders and on wobbly legs she gets pulled towards him. He pivots away from the elevator, walking them in a different direction to the group and way too overly friendly.

"What the fuck, Jerry, man. You can't be serious!"

"I want to go home." Sarah tries to break away but he pulls her back.

"Don't worry, darling. I'm going to get you a nice hot drink. That'll sort you out. Can't have you going home like this can we?" While he talks he looks up at the walls, the recognition sweeping back to her about the cameras with Eric.

"I said…" She forcefully twists from under his arm. "…I want to go home!"

"And I said…you're coming with _me_."

The scraping of her shoes on the gritty floor echoes as he drags her down an abandoned corridor, pushing her into a crevice. His sweaty hands pull at the grey cardigan, pushing up her skirt and she tries desperately to get him off.

"Oi!"

Jerry looks up, eyes widening, then pelts it as fast as he can without another word. Shaking, Sarah pulls her cardigan back over her shoulders, uncaring for her saviour. Losing the will to even care for herself anymore.

"Did he hurt you?" Wayne's voice forces her to look up.

"No."

Wayne pushes at his shoulder length hair, flipping it messily over to one side. "I saw you on the cameras in the elevator. Never seen such a distressed Stiff before… Good thing too." When she doesn't say anything, he clicks his tongue. "A thank you would be nice."

"Thanks." But he notices Sarah cradling one finger specifically. Her whole appearance looking utterly beat.

"Let me see."

"It's fine." She sighs. "Can I go?"

Wayne laughs. "You can't be serious? Does Eric know you're-"

"Eric threw me out. As far as I know, I'm either fired or now factionless and I have absolutely no idea why."

"Dog eat dog world." He shrugs. "Still, I gotta tell Eric."

"Tell him on your own. I'm going home. Like I would've done if it weren't for the entire male species of Dauntless!"

"Woah, easy there. You just ain't used to it. And of course, they like fucking with ya…look at you…you're beautiful." Sarah slowly looks up at him. No one had ever called her beautiful before and she feels herself blush. He gives her a flirty smile in response. "Now, let's not make this any harder hmm?"

* * *

Eric was on the phone as they entered and he instantly hung up when he saw them both.

"Shouldn't let your Stiff go wandering, there are some strange bastards about, Eric." Whether he was insinuating himself at all with his words or not, Sarah kind of gathered the joke from his smirk.

Eric roams over Sarah's ruffled appearance and the way she keeps her head down to the floor while cradling a finger. "Find him," Is all Wayne receives in Eric's most murderous tone, and he leaves immediately knowing exactly what to do.

"I was trying to-" Sarah begins.

"Just _shut_ up."

Quietly, she sits in the plastic chair opposite him, folding her hands together, very much like she did on her first day. He ignores her for the most part, playing around on his computer as the minutes ticked by.

The door flies open and Jerry is literally thrown into the room. Upon him tumbling in and catching himself with his hands, Sarah stands in shock.

"Sit down," Eric commands her while making his way towards Jerry. Wayne situates himself in front of the door silently and watches with devote attention. She can't help but think he's witnessed this before.

"Did you touch my Stiff?" Eric crouches low with a mocking smirk on his face and Jerry doesn't move.

"I, uh, I didn't know she was your Stiff, Eric. I'm sor-"

He doesn't get to finish. Eric straightens himself out, peering up to Wayne then catching Sarah's eyes for the briefest of moments. They are unreadable and fasten to her core like ice. In that moment, she vows she will never forget those eyes.

He turns away as if he's done, and just as Jerry relaxes, he spins, booting him in his side. There's an audible hollowed thump as his boot connects and Sarah shifts to the side of her chair in horror.

The young Dauntless squirms on the floor, balling himself up.

"Get up," Eric says calmly.

"No, are you fucking insane?!" Jerry screeches, coughing slightly.

"Get up, or Wayne will drag you up." Slowly, Jerry begins to unfold, picking himself up and wobbling to his feet. He pants in agony, clutching his side. "Now, apologize."

"To the Stiff?"

"My Stiff." There's a pause and Sarah looks between the two, silently pleading Eric to stop this.  
With a sure sign of loathing, Jerry offers her a bland apology.

"Good. Now, for your crime…" Eric says with tedium. "Demotion by beating. I think that sounds about right, don't you, Wayne?"

"Just golden," Wayne smirks.

The dawning in Jerry's eyes are haunting, and Eric throws the first punch, hitting him straight in the nose. It's light to what Sarah imagined he was capable of. But her reasoning is that he did it on purpose because Jerry stumbles back with a bloody nose, still fully able to comprehend the situation he's got himself into.

Another full fist is planted in the side of his mouth and Jerry yells out, spitting half a tooth on the floor and falling back against the filing cabinet. Droplets hit the creamy stockings on Sarah's leg and she yelps, standing and moving to the other side of the room.

Jerry's body slides down and he whimpers to himself on the floor, clutching at his wounds.

She watches as Eric paces, running a hand through the side of his shaved hair and when he turns back, she knows he's lost it. He grips the cabinet, kicking his foot out into Jerry's abdomen. At first the boy tries to defend himself, till he receives a pleasantly polished boot to the face, causing him to cry out abhorrently, semi-conscious, begging for help. Sarah holds a hand over her mouth, her mind willing her to say something but her body frozen on the spot, watching as kick after kick rains down upon him and she's sure she hears a crack from the boy's ribs. She would hardly be surprized.

Eric mumbles, " _Those hands…touching_ …" Before he's pulling him back off the floor and throwing him face first on the desk.

"Chill, man." Says Wayne, with quiet tetchiness to his voice.

But it's no use. The Dauntless Leader pins his victim wrists, punching down onto Jerry's knuckles, fingers, palm, till they explode out with red swelling and the bones jut out disjointedly.

"You're going to kill him!" Sarah shrieks, but she may as well have been talking to the wall.

Jerry's frantic cries dull and Eric bounces his head off the corner of his desk, letting his body slump heavily to the floor.

A silence falls on the room and not even Wayne looks an ounce amused by what he's seen, his Adam's-apple bobbing when he swallows dryly.

Eric sniffs once, running a thumb under his nose and rolls his shoulders. "Turn him out into the pit." When he faces Wayne, only then does he move, grabbing Jerry's feet and dragging him to the door, only pausing at Eric's voice again while the Leader plucks at tissue on his desk and wipes his hands. "See to it that a reminder gets sent around about plausible punishments and the consequences of crimes."

When Wayne leaves without so much as a farewell, Eric pinpoints Sarah, only to find her trembling by the wall and afraid to look at him. The red from Jerry's blood, dottily illuminous against her clothes. "Because of _you_." He says with spite. "Again." He approaches so quickly her head bounces off the wall as she backs away and he plants a fist next to her head, the blunt sound of his knuckles hitting the stone and stealing her breath away.

" _Please, don't… hurt me_." She whispers. For some reason her lips are wet and the widened shock color her irises fluorescently. He can almost see his own reflection.

Eric gnaws his lip, debating whether or not he should really just rid of her and be done with it…until she closes her eyes, blocking him from the haunting image. In his hesitancy, she pleads him under her breath again. " _Please_ …" One hand splayed out on the wall, the other, reaches out to his jacket, blindly fumbling over the fabric, lightly pushing him away in despair.

It drives him insane.

He kisses her quickly with her eyes still closed, catching her by complete surprise in the way she jolts against him. The hand pushing him stops, gripping onto the fabric instead and she gazes up at him lazily, her lips plump from his suddenness and with those _goddamn_ questioning eyes. Pushing his fingers into the back of her hair, he pulls out the bun, sending the golden locks of hair cascading down by her flushed face and presses his body heavily against hers, his own breath now coming out painfully restricted.

Drawing Sarah's small body up the wall, he effortlessly manoeuvres the stocking covered legs around him before moving away and placing her on the desk. Making light work of her cardigan with a rushed urgency, he sucks on the pale skin of her neck, feeling her tilt away and allowing him to venture further. Tasting the soft dusting of salty, exquisite skin along with his name rolling from her too sweet lips, he groans yearningly.

At first, his name sounds dubiously protesting till it becomes a breathy sigh and enticing. He works quickly at the bottom of her dress, lifting it to her hips and pulling it entirely over her head. Eric shivers when she doesn't try to cover herself from him anymore, he's seen it all and any attempts would now be absurd.  
He looks down for a minute, her breasts neatly formed in a cottoned but unpadded bra. The small nubs of her nipples are pronounced and he handles them greedily, flicking a thumb over them between his persistent kneading. The erection in his pants is fucking agony, till he can't help but let the words slip.

"I want you to touch me, Sarah." The sky blues widen at him, peering down to his hands unbuckling his belt, then unzipping his flies. If he had the sense to laugh, now would be the time as his cock springs out from his boxers, but he simply can't while drowning in his own lust.

Grabbing at her hand to guide her, she hisses, her eyes flickering with uncertainty and back towards her finger. He roams over the split in her nail, obviously from her encounter, then places the tip in his mouth, soothing it with his tongue and manoeuvring her other hand to show the exact way to play him. He lets go, groaning as one of those _oh so_ delicate hands set a small rhythm and pushes the sore finger into her mouth instead, only to bring it back down to feel the warmth moistness leaving a tingly cold line against his head. Briefly, the thought of her sucking him off toys in his mind, and he lets another throatily groan bristle up from the base of his throat.

He bites her lip, pulling her closer and shoving his hands down the front of her underwear, swallowing her surprise as he knocks her legs wider. The tempo on his cock intensifies with his movements and he can feel himself trying to refrain from bursting completely all over her. The juices from her sex coat his fingers, the warmth too inviting…

She looks down when he pulls his fingers from her underwear and smothers her want on his erection. The small hands move faster and he gathers that it slightly excited her to an extent.

Leaning back, she braces on an arm behind her and his dick is so close to her cunt that the thought of just parting the material between them and pressing in is overbearing.

Forgetting the thought as his balls tighten, he coils his fingers till he hits the spot, strumming it over and over and her head falls back. She's losing herself. Losing herself to him like he continuously imagined.

"Let go, Sarah…" He beckons her, only seconds away from his own release and his voice clipped. And like a good little Abnegation, she cries out as if on demand, his fingers riding the wave and her hand gets sloppy. Eric jacks himself for the remainder, then ejaculating between her thighs as she whimpers from ecstasy.

" _Fuck_." Eric groans in the inevitable comedown. The uniform he's wearing way too clammy and restricting with the beads of sweat trickling down his back only making it that far more uncomfortable. But he only got half of what he wanted and he still felt slightly put-out and significantly unsatisfied.

When Sarah lifts her head, she blushes at the state between them, scooting back and away. Eric quickly scrambles for tissue on his desk, wiping his dick first and shoving the box at her as he adjusts himself. But her mood has slightly changed. She scrambles off the desk, wiping herself hurriedly and grabbing at the dress on the floor and throwing it over her head. Eric doesn't say anything, just sits behind his desk, watching the desperate attempts to pull her hair back and find her bag while she seemingly can't find her feet.

Sarah leaves quickly. Whether she regretted it or not, he really couldn't give two fucks and he doesn't stop her from going home early.

 _Maybe_ he was a little hasty though in his timely punishment that awaited her when she got home. But he didn't know, and couldn't predict how well she would bend to his will during the course of today.

She'll _definitely_ regret ever pissing him off again…

* * *

Scrubbing at the skin between her legs, the steam from the shower only intensifies the smell of him still on her – and the smell of distinct sex. Sarah uses lather upon lather of soap, washing her hair furiously until every part of her felt tender and raw.

She didn't see anyone when she got home, much to her relief. But she can hear them now downstairs... and _wailing_ …

Quickly drying herself off and dressing in her nightwear, she rushes down the stairs, stopping halfway to find her crippled mother rubbing Mary's back at the table.

"What's happened?" She asks, the dread beginning to prickle her skin. Running down the rest of the steps and slipping into the seat next to Mary, Mary sobs loudly again upon a crumpled note. "What is-" She sees _his_ name at the top of the paper, just like the paper she wrote on for Dalton. "Why has Eric sent you letters?"

"I've been requested to work on Sundays at Dauntless!" She wails towards her. "…Mother!" She hiccups. "I'm not old enough, _please_!"

"Mary, you're being stupid. You will be fine, it's great news!"

Sarah's lips curl up in disgust. Her heart races wildly in her chest. Terror setting in and overwhelming her. Turning quickly towards the front door, Mary calls out to her with a slobbery voice but she ignores the protest. She quickly slips on her long coat, throwing bare feet into her boots.

"Where are you going?!" Her mother screeches. "Sarah!"

Fuelled by complete anger, Sarah stops, twisting her head over her shoulder, then takes two steps back in the room, stalking towards them and pronouncing each word specifically. "I'm doing _exactly_ what _you_ _should_ be doing, _Mother_."

"How dare you-"

"Save it for someone who actually cares about what _you_ think."

"You ungrateful little-" Sarah doesn't hear the rest of that sentence, throwing the door loudly closed behind her. Running the streets of Abnegation, that eventually begin to turn into scattered rubble and wild vegetation, fear doesn't even evolve in her body. She was beyond that now.

The guards laugh at her clothes at first, till they look hungrily at her hair falling down her back and bare legs. When they wave her through, she feels them staring after her.

Not even in the lift to the Leader's Suite does she feel nervous. She stands stoically, but thoughts do swamp her mind.

When the lift dings calling at their floor, she's glad to see Clair is not here and the corridor dimly lit. For a second she wonders if Eric will even be here, however, the light under the door is sure indicator.

She will catch him by surprise tonight. He would never be expecting her at this hour.

Sarah opens the door without knocking and lets it slowly creak open. Eric looks paler than usual, the brush of darkness hollowing out his eyes as he looks up from his computer, once again, gnawing the end of a pen. His startle is almost undetectable, but she knew better by the small double blink he took.

"What do I owe the pleasure? Or is that what I should _really_ be asking?"

"I'm here to ask you to take back your orders on my sister."

He hums, sitting more casually in his chair. "I really don't have any reason to care. Why should I be bothered?"

"You're only doing it to get back at me. You've won okay? I'll…" She swallows. "I'll do whatever you want."

A smirk writhes across his face. "How Abnegation of you…" He stops gloating though when she shrugs off her jacket, revealing her bare legs he'd failed to notice before and white nightwear; the one with the bow and frills he enjoyed so much.

With her hair still a little damp, she shudders from the loss of clothing. The nimble fingers, gently pull the bow, agonizingly slowly, pushing it from her shoulders. She watches Eric's head tilt back slightly and he readjusts in his chair, one leg bounces up and down briefly as he waits.

The light material puddles on the floor at her feet and nervously she steps over it and out of her boots at the same time.

For some reason, she felt like she was approaching a wild cat as it waited to pounce at any moment. His eyes peered up at _her_ , not at her body and she had no idea what he was thinking all thanks to his blank expression. With a shaky breath, she pushes her legs through the arm holes in his chair, straddling his lap. "How Dauntless of you…" Eric's voice purrs huskily, his mouth loosely open as he studies her face but not lifting a hand to her at all.

"Please."

Gasping when he moves forward, he speaks close to her mouth, the words kept low. " _Get off me_." But she doesn't have a chance as he not-so-elegantly stands from the chair, making her stumble backwards. "You insult my intelligence." He walks to his door, opening it even though she is as bare as the day she was born. "Get out. Go home."

"But I-"

"Whatever you thought is wrong, stiff. You really thought trying to seduce me over the bargaining of another would work?"

Sarah quickly grabs at her nightwear on the floor, slipping it over her head. "I don't know what you want from me!" she says while trying to slip past him, but he latches a strong hand on her forearm, yanking her back.

"I _want_ you to want _me_. To actually want me, not because you have to. It's insulting…"

"How can I? Look at what you are!" She says, trying to pull her arm free. "You're a…you're a monster! A monster who continuously hurts me in any way possible! How am I supposed to want you!"

"Because you're supposed to be smart."

"That's not wanting. Is your mind that corrupted that you honestly think this is going to work? Purposefully setting upon my family, physically and mentally threatening and hurting me? You're more stupid than I thought… and quite possibly more deluded than any of the other leaders of the five factions." There's now a hot bruise from his fingers tightening on her arm and she hisses.

"You've seriously fucked up this time." Walking back to his desk he drags her with him, picking up his keys and phone, then pacing back to the door, locking his office and pulling her along.

"What are you doing?" She struggles but he doesn't bother with a reply. They ride the elevator, then take more than enough corridors and tunnels that she would never be able to remember. "Eric!"

He opens a door with an electronic keypad, pulling her inside the darkened room and the electric bolt whirls as it locks behind them. Only now he lets go and she loses him in the bleakness of the room.

"Where are we?" She says on cue as the lights flick on to show a disturbingly neat apartment which she can only fathom is Eric's.

"Welcome home." He smirks.

* * *

A/N

Thanks for all the great messages :)

Enjoy ;)


	8. Chapter 8

"You're insane!"

Eric watches as Sarah turns back to the door, slamming numbers into the keypad and simpering to himself every time the red light flashed back at her.

"Let me out!"

Her next attempts have him stifling a laugh as she yanks on the door handle, pounding on the surface with her palm after having thrown her jacket to the floor. "It's dangerous at night, Sarah. How disreputable it would be for me to allow you to leave now."

"Open the door, Eric. Open it!"

"I'm hungry. You hungry?" He saunters off to the small compact kitchen to the side of the room, an island squaring it off from the living area and she lets her back rest against the door. Her chest heaves, both hands firmly splayed against the hard wood while watching him. Even though the room is open-plan, claustrophobia unwillingly shoots up her spine. Her eyes flick to the countless windows along the wall in front of her, trying to form some form of escape.

"We're six stories up," Eric calls over his shoulder, not bothering to turn to face her. "It's a _long_ way down." He pops something into his mouth while heating a pan on the new-looking silver oven he hovers over. When he now looks, he frowns to how she keeps herself in the same desperate position, her eyes wide and wild.

Making light work of the distance between them, he reaches out taking one of her hands off the door and pulls her forward without much resistance. She swallows audibly and he leads her to the island, sitting her down on one of the stools underneath it and curling his fingers into her shoulders from behind possessively.

Sarah's more bothered by the chill in the room. It's cold. The furniture that dresses the room too clean-cut and bleak. Gathering from the lack of personality, she guesses he barely spends time here apart from to sleep and the occasional solitary dinner. His palms burn into her, but she keeps her eyes solely on the glistening counter. "I…I don't have any clothes here. Tomorrow-"

"I'm sure John wouldn't mind running some up." It's a taunt, but she doesn't bite. Watching him trace back towards the oven, he plates the food. It's some chicken and spicy smelling rice he's obviously had leftover and he shoves the plate in front of her. "Eat."

"I'm not hungry."

Eric death-glares her but digs into his own food, not saying anything until he's finished and deliberating over the fact Sarah hasn't touched a grain on her plate.

"You're pissing me off," he says calmly, running his tongue around his mouth.

"I don't like spicy… food." Trailing off as he stands up and stops beside her, she looks up at him just in time for him to snatch her jaw. It's angry but not painful, and she swears she feels the pads of his fingers stroking her skin. He scoops a forkful bringing it to her mouth and the glint in his eye tells her that if she doesn't eat it, he'll probably stab her with it.  
Not taking her eyes off him, his translucent blues watch her lips, briefly flicking up to meet her gaze.

The food isn't particularly that spicy, but the residue tingles on her mouth. "My sister…"

"Let's forget about your sister for a minute..." He taps the fork on her cheek. "Did you like him touching you?"

"What?"

"What did I tell you before?" The angry grip on her jaw is back, this time painfully so and she yelps. "Or have you forgotten?"

"Eric, I don't know-" His grip intensifies.

"You are _mine,_ " he pronounces perfectly but his lips are taut as he snarls it. "Did you tell them that you belonged to me?"

"I thought-"

"Did you, or did you not?"

Suddenly despairing and trying not to come out with the wrong answer, her hesitation is her downfall.

"Didn't think so." He smirks, but it is fake.

Sarah's eyes flick around the room, her heart rate suddenly speeding to an unnatural rhythm. "I thought that-"

"Sarah…" He clicks his tongue. "When are you going to realize that whenever you seemingly think for yourself, that your wrong?" And as if she was some broken toy, he pats her hair shamelessly. "You're beginning to get a little brave around me, aren't you? Deluded…I think that's the exact word you used." He pouts mockingly now, and she knows this facial expression. Usually, the one he does right before he strikes. "Do you not think about the numbers of times I imagine wrapping my hands around your neck just to save myself the hassle of being constantly in your presence?"

Sarah doesn't have anything to say to that and in fact doesn't want to say anything at all. She stares bewildered up to him.

"So be a good girl and _eat_ the food." Eric points to it. "I'm going to take a shower."

He huffs as he walks away and the moment he disappears from sight and the water from the shower echoes out into the room, she sprints to the windows, looking down to the concrete below. He was right, it was a long drop and no way for her to be able to descend it. Opting to try the door again, she wishes she'd taken notice of the numbers he tapped into the control.

" _Open…please_ …" She begs, pulling on the handle again. Turning back, she runs back to the counter, grabs a knife and tries to fit the point in the door, twisting it and hitting it with the heel of her palm. Every now and then she would throw a look towards the bedroom door, knowing he wouldn't be long.

She feels his presence before she sees him.

"You do realize you can't get out, don't you?" To his surprise, she holds the blunt knife up to him. "Put it down. You're only going to hurt yourself, sweetheart."

"Let me out."

"But you only just got here." He scowls, whacking the knife, and it clatters to the floor.

" _Oh god_ …"

"No, just Eric. And I'm extremely tired. Come, Stiff." She has no choice when he pulls her towards him with the slightest tug, even if she digs her heels in. "What's the matter? You were eager for me to do whatever I wanted earlier, what's changed?"

"I want my sister safe. Away from you."

"What made you think it was for me? I've already got one Stiff who's more than enough hassle, why would I need another?" Eric takes her into a room just off from the living area, closing the door behind them. "Who _knows_ what I might do if I had two…"

"Take back the order and I'll stop fighting you…" Whether he lets her wrists go, or she shrugs him off, she'll never know. He moves to sit on one side of his bed, checking on his phone which is plugged into the charger, the light from the screen brightening his face.

"Don't wait for an invitation." He motions to the bed.

"I'm not sleeping anywhere near you until I know…Until I know that I have your word."

Placing his phone on the side, he stands, walking timely to her, his head slightly tilted back in exasperation and he sighs. "Of all people, you should know I don't fair well with being told what do. It's been what…eight years since my last order…Max was the last person who tried, and it appeared it didn't go too well for him when they found his body in the chasm. Poor guy." His fingers pull on her bow and she suddenly feels ill at his sadistic smile.

Did he just tell her he killed Max? She'd heard the rumors passed down through the years. It was a massive conspiracy at the time. "I _make_ orders. And I'm telling you now; take your clothes off and get on the bed." But in defiance, Sarah stares off to the side. "Easy way or hard way? I'm all for both."

"I've already told you my terms."

Eric laughs. "Terms? Like there is a deal here to strike… Come on, Sarah. Stop acting the fool."

"You want me to want you, Eric. You want me to strip in front of you like some cheap…cheap…" She struggles for words. "…Dauntless…and I won't. If that's what you wanted you should have called Nina. I'm sure she would be very happy to play house with you."

"Yeah, you're right, I'm sure she would. However, I'm not interested." He grimaces, "Fine, have it your way. I'll destroy the request tomorrow. But I tell you what to do and you do it. How about that?"

Sarah's face whitens but she nods. "Okay."

Walking backward, Eric looks extremely pleased with himself. He neatly props himself back on his pillows and puts his hands behind his head. " _So_ , take your clothes off." The piercings over his right eye glint with an anticipating arched brow. "… _Slowly_." As she reaches up to her neckline, his voice barks. "And actually look like you want to do it. It's not like I haven't already seen what's underneath."

Sarah does as he commands, letting her eyes close and feeling her cheeks beginning to warm up in humiliation. The thought of what she was doing in front of this man was demoralizing but Eric was a man with specific tastes and he seemed unabashed by the way he subjugated her. Actually, the more she gave in to him, the more of a thrill it sparked, and that's what scared her. How far was he willing to go?

"Now crawl to me."

"What?"

"Crawl to me."

Eric coaxes her with a finger, beckoning her forward. She looks to her sides before lowering to the floor, pushing her hands into the carpet to concentrate on the feel of the texture than what she was exactly doing in this moment. Half way to the bed, Eric sits up, placing his feet on the floor and casually leaning on his elbows till she gets in front of him. She sits back on her legs, peering up at him rather than at his bulging crotch and flinching when he cups her cheek. Maybe the question was; how far was _she_ willing to go?

"Look at you. Look how compliant you suddenly are with a little push…I admire it." He tangles his fingers into her hair, pulling it to the side and twisting it in his hand, using it as a restraint to pull her closer between his legs. Staring at her almost mesmerized, he pushes his thumb into her mouth. "Now suck it."

Sarah's lips encircled his thumb and his gaze is futile, taking in every motion her mouth makes. Even though he subjected his dominance openly to her, a sense of empowerment comes with the obvious erection in his boxers. She flicks her tongue along the calloused fingerprint and Eric pulls back suddenly.

"I will do anything for the people I love," she answers the earlier gibe.

Pulling on her hair, she stands up, her stomach now directly in front of him. He traces a finger across the skin, rounding her belly button and down her thigh gently till he hooks a grip under her knee, pulling her forwards and upon his lap.

She feels his palms stroke against the entirety of her back, running low to massage her hips and drifting towards her ass. When he gets there, his gentle touch is no more and he roughly pulls at the skin, his fingers slipping close to her core as he toyed with her. Eric's bare body has also significantly heated up more since sitting on him, his muscles rolling and contouring as he moved and his body felt entirely solid against her, the skin smooth but what laid underneath completely lethal.

"You have no idea how badly I want to fuck you." His voice comes out as a breathy rumble. He meant every word.

Meeting his eyes, she sees that they are lustrous, his pupils completely blown, hiding the pale blue which she usually referred to as ice. Now they looked burning, and they were, into her. "Will it…" She bites her lip, feeling his hand stop and frowns to herself at such an unwise question. "… hurt?"

Eric speaks calmly and coldly as if it was just a random subject he was debriefing in his office. "Yes, I imagine it would." But seemingly her innocent question has deflated his mood, and he rolls her off. "Get some sleep."

Confusion washes over her but she doesn't question it further, awkwardly moving until she's able to get under the cover. The covers with the same smell of Eric. Even the crisp texture and the way they felt new reminded her of something only Eric would do. One of his many unusual habits.

The light switches off and she's not relaxed when she lies down. If anything, her back feels like it's aching from tension. Weeks of tension in reality. But she makes sure to face him, blinking a few times to adjust her eyes and keeping a watch on exactly what he was doing. Strangely, she finds him facing towards her, so she whispers. " _My family don't know where I am_."

"I think they know exactly where you are, don't you?"

Ignoring his clipped reply, memories whirl back from Mary and her Mother, and she squeezes her eyes closed. "I shouted at my mother."

Eric groans as he shifts to get more comfortable. "Good."

"I've never shouted at her before."

"Fuck, stiff, you going to talk all night? Bore me to fucking sleep?" Irritatingly, he turns his back to her. After a lengthy silence and his voice slick with sleep, he mutters into the darkness. "She'll get over it."

 _You don't know my mother_ …

* * *

Eric wakes on the dot of six. Everyday. Every _damned_ day it was the same. This time, though, he remembered he wasn't alone. Flipping back the covers and sitting up, he rubs at his face for a minute before peering to the other side of the bed where Sarah lies asleep.

For a second he idles on just shoving her out of his bed, making her walk back to Abnegation as he never allowed anyone sleep here. But whether he liked it or not, he didn't mind her being here. She was meek, quiet, so fucking easy manipulated that it was pitiful and so damn innocent that everything she did was sultry. To him, anyway.

How eagerly she believed anything he fed her…

Her skin is creamy white and bare, calling out for him to touch it, stroke it…fuck it. One of her legs is over the covers, an arm to match, hugging at the duvet. The long blonde locks are spread out over the pillow but she's soundly asleep while wrapped in on herself. If anything that he had to choose from, from her body to say that he desired; it would be the curvature of where her hips dipped down into her body and the taut skin over ribs. The same flesh she kept hidden from everyone else and he'd only seen. His skin prickles imaging the marks he would leave there.

Eric so desperately had the urge to place his hands on her. Imagined himself doing just that as he would thrust into her. Of course, he was hard thinking about it. Well, that, and his morning wood.

It's the sound of her breathing quietly that gathers his attention more than anything and that's how he finds himself rounding to her side of the bed. She doesn't move and her back is bare to him slowly lifting with every breath.

Letting his hands wander over her hip, the skin is cold and she nuzzles more into the pillow, a frown painting across her brow. The seven start can wait. Just a little while longer… And he quietly moves in behind her.

* * *

Sarah wakes with a start. Eyes flying open. Not because she forgot where she was or who was here, but because hands cup her sex.

The acknowledgment sets in when Eric isn't on his side, but behind her. The warmth of him pushed up against her. " _What are you doing_?" She rushes the words, half trying to sit up.

"Giving you a wake-up call."

He's too fast for her, she rolls to escape but he grabs her arms, pinning them behind her back and flipping her on her stomach. Sarah forces her head to the side to watch him as he takes a pillow, shoving it under her stomach and leaving her ass in the air. He clambers above her, almost sitting on her calves.

"Eric-"

"Derogatory is punishment." His lips brushing along her hips tingle the skin, goose bumps immediately forming under his path. Eric repositions lower, spitting on her and using it to slather along her folds. Whether she tries to refrain from it or not, she hisses, a pulse ricocheting through her body.

"You like that, Stiff?" He slaps her butt cheek when she doesn't reply. "Tell me." Then circles a thumb around her clit.

He lets go of her arms and she brings them up next to her head, gripping onto the covers beneath. The way he grabs at her hips, massages between her thighs and tangles fingers from behind, she can barely think straight.

"Uh" is the only garbage she can spill as he slips two fingers inside of her and she arches her back, uncaring now for the way everything was exposed to him. His strokes are vicious, though, each time stretching her wider, then coiling down and stroking her flippantly from inside. The sheer movement tantalizes an extremely wet trickle seeping between her legs, the sound just as fitting as he moved. She doesn't care for Eric's chuckle, not at this moment.

" _Who'd have thought_ …," is all he rustically says behind her.

"I'm-"

"Not yet." He growls, making her look behind to the sight of him clutching his large erection from his boxers, his hand moving swiftly along with the ones divulged into her. He would've loved to have just slipped himself in at this moment but she was not ready, nowhere near.

His breath hitches and he kneels up. " _Fuck_. Now, Sarah. Now."

Whether it was the warmth spurting along her ass or the flickers inside of her, she comes undone, sighing erotically till she quietened.

"Get this cleared up and I'll get your stuff." Is all Eric bothers to say breathlessly before marching off to the bathroom.

It's not his coldness that lets a single tear slip from her eye, but the fact she'd always imagined gentle, caring touches and a loving aftermath. She knows she will receive nothing of the sort and probably never will, ever. Not while Eric existed.

* * *

Sarah was not surprised that Eric had lived up to his word. Her Father delivered her clothes, and Eric brought them to her at some point in the afternoon when he had time. Shortly after, he ordered her to go home, and it's within the walk back that nerves firebomb her mind.

It's the face of her mother at first that tells she's in an extreme amount of trouble. The corners of her wrinkled mouth arch downwards, her leg propped up but she is facing her as she enters with crossed arms.

"Look whose home…" She spitefully says, looking her up and down. "Our little tart of a daughter."

Sarah sighs trying to not let it get to her and places her bag by the door like she always did.

"How dare you speak to me like you did. I don't know who you think you are now-"

"I'm your little secret weapon at Dauntless, am I not? To be used for favors in the family? _Great_ idea, _Mother_." Sarah finds the word 'mother' sour on her tongue. "I don't want to argue with you right now." She didn't even want to speak with anyone. She just wanted the confined space of her room.

Her mother clucks her tongue contemptuously. "I don't know where you are getting that mouth from, but I sure as hell am _not_ going to stand for it. Have you thought about your behavior and the effects on your siblings?"

"Oh _stop_. Listen to yourself." Sarah crosses her arms and tries to break for the stairs but is stopped by John descending them, mimicking her defensive look, but seeping annoyance. She grows wary instantly.

"No, look at you! Look at yourself. Look at what your impulsive actions are doing. Running off to Eric Coulter in the middle of the night. Slamming doors. Yelling! …Making your poor Father turn up to hand over clothes to the Dauntless men while they laughed and asked despicable questions."

Sarah crumples up her forehead, astonishment hitting her hard in the chest. "You do know this is all because of you? You have successfully managed to tear this family apart. For what? For the crappy council? To get a bigger head. Did you intentionally fall to place me here? It seems convenient… I'm starting to wonder why I even bothered coming back here and for a fact, I'm beginning to think being factionless would ultimately be a better idea than having to live under the same roof as-"

A loud smack echoes across the room. Sarah grips her cheek, tasting blood from where the skin had knocked on a tooth. Looking back to John, the owner of the futile and unknowing hit, his face is red, and his whole body shaking. "Go to your room Sarah, or so help me god..."

Sarah runs up the steps, barging past her father, but is stopped by her mother's voice. "By the way, your whoring attempts didn't work. Mary is still required to work at Dauntless on Sundays. Maybe she'll make good of all your wrong doings."

* * *

The next day things didn't fair any better. Sarah had missed two meals, dinner and breakfast, because of their family dispute.

She now stands in Eric's office, head pounding and feeling derisively sick as Eric converses with two Erudite members. Having not spoken to him as the members were here from the moment she arrived, he eyes her cautiously between breaks. She'd tried to cool the slightly discolored mark high on her cheek to no avail. And that's where his eyes travel to.

But more than that, she ignores his stare, gazing coldly ahead towards the cleaning cupboard, pulsing with utter rage, but also misery. When she finally brings herself to look at him – because he called her name, she peers down her nose without a word.

"Go to the file room and bring back D57," he orders, but sitting back and screaming irritation as he chews his cheek.

"Yes, sir."

The place where the files were kept was the same place he took her before, near the dangling ledge where she tripped. The room is stacked high with cabinets all neatly in alphabetical and numeral order. The D57 file couldn't possibly be any bigger, covered with a yellow folder and bound, but the papers keep slipping from the bottom. She's too busy trying to fit the odd paper back in to see the figure standing in the doorway and almost screams. The file lands in their hands.

"Easy there, didn't mean to spook ya," Wayne smiles. She takes the folder from him wordlessly. "That's a good old clip on your cheek. What did you do now?"

"It wasn't Eric. And I've really got to be getting back, they're waiting for this."

"I'll walk you." He finally steps out of the doorway to let her pass. "Eric let you out on your own?"

"What happened last time was my fault…"

"Do you believe that or did Eric make you believe that?" She looks up at him, catching his simper. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

"You don't have to walk me; I know the way back."

"If I walked away now and something happened, who's fault would that be? But on a serious level, I'm actually on my way to Eric's office…here, let me hold that…"

He takes the file before she can protest and she squints at him. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"To be fair, the first time I saw you I thought you'd never make it past a week. Now look at you. A potential colleague." He presses the button for the elevator, holding his hand out when it pings at their floor. "After you."

For it being only two floors up, it feels like a lifetime and the silence is suffocating. "I meant what I said," Wayne says expressionless, peering up to the number as it lands on the suite. "You really are beautiful."

He strides out first, passing Clair with an enthusiastic hello and not bothering to knock on Eric's door. Sarah slips in behind him, turning her head away from Eric and trying not to listen to their plans for Erudite expansion. She's livid in the most abnegation way – with silence.

* * *

The one meal she manages to cram into her hovering day is dinner at Dauntless. Alone. The other Abnegation won't sit with her and she really didn't want to either anymore. Her own silence was enough. But she finds every noise has her flinching. Sharp laughs. Squeals. Cups hitting the table. The lot has her on edge.

Her own hand shakes as she brings the cup up to her mouth and she peers at the last liquid in the bottom, finding her blank image staring back at her. The Sarah who first started working here is gone. That innocence she held torn to ruins. The family bond she held onto tightly, so broken…

Sarah hops away from the bench, scrabbling for her bag and has various groups peer over to her and her urgency and need to escape. Her chest restricts until she can't breathe and she's crying already, feeling the hot tears burn down her face. But she isn't crying for herself. She's crying for things that are far beyond her control.

Barrelling out the double doors and almost making it to the entrance way of Dauntless, her name is called resoundingly from behind.

Eric's formidable at the best of times, and right now he couldn't appear any more intimidating as he stops feet in front of her, his hands behind his back and his eyes concentrated on her wet cheeks. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home, Eric," Sarah sniffs, trying to stop her voice from warbling.

"I'm not done with-"

"I'm done…" She cuts him off, the tears back in full force. "…I'm done. I'm done with my family. I'm done trying to actually keep everything together. I'm done with standing in your office. I'm done with not having any friends. And, I'm honestly done with you." She knows he wouldn't attempt to swing for her in such an open place with groups of people walking past. "…Make me factionless…go ahead… kill me. I just…I just don't care anymore." She only begins hesitating when he doesn't interrupt her. "I'm sorry." Sarah turns, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve.

"Don't walk away from me, Sarah."

"I have no respect for you anymore. You lied to me. I would have done anything you asked last night…" A group of Dauntless glance at her as she says it and Eric glares at them, sighing and stepping towards her. "I believed you…"

"You're making a scene."

"Then let me go…"

"You walk out that door, you fail." Eric's eyes are dark and she can see the restraint of his anger by the ticks in his jaw. "You won't last five seconds being factionless, Sarah…. Think about it very carefully before you decide to walk out that door."

"Why won't you let my sister go?"

"Christ… Is this seriously what we're still talking about? It's one day a week until we get the regular back." Somehow, while talking, he's managed to get within arm's length, grabbing her shoulder.

"You gave me your word."

"Did I?" His eyes glint knowingly as she tries to recall their conversation. She wasn't stupid, she knew he was smarter than her.

Eric peers around him before pulling her to an alcove out of the sight of the guards by the door. "You said you would get rid of the order."

" _Yeah,_ about that…" He looks down at his feet before meeting her troubled gaze again. "I was about to, but then I found multiple benefits for Mary. I know she so desperately wants to partake in the council when she's old enough and the curriculum would be envious to outsiders. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not because you want me to." Eric trails his fingers over her small bruise on her cheek. "You understand, don't you? You understand I did it to benefit your family?" With her face tilted up, she keeps her eyes low. "I promise you no harm will come to her."

"Why did you never promise _me_ that?"

"Because I can't…not with you." Sarah didn't really know what that meant, but nods, sniffling to herself. " _You shed pretty little tears_ …" His voice sounds distance as if he was talking to himself and he cleans one side of her cheek with a finger. "Go home, Sarah." Snapping his hand away, he saunters off, giving her one last look.

* * *

Lost in her own thoughts on the small stroll home, Sarah looks up across the graveled path and spots the back of a very familiar man.

"Dalton!" She calls out, jogging to catch up with him but his pace quickens. "Wait! Stop! I need to talk to you."

When he does his lip is curled up in disgust. "There's nothing to say."

"What you saw-"

"Is the reason why my family is laughing at me." He finishes, keeping himself firmly on the spot. "Everyone knows, Sarah. Everyone knows you're selling yourself short to Eric Coulter." She shakes her head, biting her lip in denial but he carries on quickly. "Do you even realize the mistake you've made? Your chances of returning to a normal life are zero. And if I was you, I'd stay at Dauntless."

Sarah frowns. "How can you say that?" Her tone echoing disbelief.

"Don't talk to me again. For my reputations sake…" Dalton gives her one last look of contempt before turning dramatically and striding away, his grey jacket flapping mockingly behind him.

Sarah's world slowly darkens.

* * *

Knowing Eric's timetable for tomorrow, she knew he was meetings all day. The thought blossomed within her last night that she was going to feign illness. Her family wouldn't really know any different and informed her yesterday that her parents were going to Erudite to the medical center there to try and find out the reason behind the new swelling around her mother's ankle. With her siblings being at school, it left her to a quiet house once the occupants finally left.

No one knocked on her bedroom door to wake her in case she might've overslept. No one called for her. They all had breakfast together downstairs, she could hear them. So in bed, she stayed. She idled over sending Eric a message but he never mentioned that at the time and she didn't really know how to go about a sick day. Coupled up with her annoyance at him, she turns her phone off, turning it over in her hand wondering just how dead she would be when he found out before throwing it nonchalantly over her shoulder and down the side of the bed somewhere.

Everything was because of _him_. Everything.

Sarah treats herself to a bath around mid-day. The urge to check her phone did come creeping back but she hurriedly dismissed it, letting her head fall back under the water and holding her breath till her lungs ached. She begged herself to feel something. Something warm…something loving rather than the cold pit consuming her. She didn't actually feel anything similar to hate or self-pity, more a vast bleakness heavy in her chest, causing a lethargy she didn't think was capable.

Regularly, she topped the heat back into the tub, sometimes staring a long while at the cracks in the tile. Shifting comfortably back and closing her eyes to rid of the eye-watering habit, she lets herself drift off.

When her head rolls sideways and her nose dips in the water she splutters awake, sitting up quickly. The house is still quiet and she shrugs her hair over her shoulder, hugging her knees tightly and listening to the timely drop from the tap hit the surface of the water.

Eric is going to be mad…

Really mad.

She hadn't really thought this through but was too infuriated at the time to care. But she doesn't feel _anything_ , only the urge to get her phone is now becoming impulsive. She stands up, grabbing a towel off the side and wrapping it around her.

…Something clutters downstairs.

It has her freeze on the spot, body tensing up and goose bumps on her skin. "Mary?" She calls, thinking it to be the only possible person as Lizzie would be picking Thomas up. Even if it was any other member of her family, she would hear them before she sees them.

Opening the door quietly, she looks down the hallway, towards the stairs that drop down. Nothing. Whether it be the clouds hovering over; the hallway is dimly lit, each bedroom door open but still denying of much light.

Taking the stairs, she looks sheepishly across the dining room table, towards the kitchen door. The only place with the door shut and along with the living room off from the kitchen, would be the only place possible for someone to hide. The air in the room is heavy.

The kitchen is neat and clean. Everything in its usual place and she wanders into the lounge where her mother is currently residing, a small cot-bed borrowed from the medical center up against the furthest wall. The lamp standing on a cupboard by the bed is lit. Frowning to herself, she approaches, shutting it off quickly and doing one final sweep of the room. Clutching her towel tighter, she closes the living room door behind her, damning her wild imagination and walking through to the dining room to head back upstairs. She stops in her tracks, swallowing dryly.

"Where have you been?" Eric sits in the lone chair at the end of the table in his finest suit he only seemed to wear when being away from Dauntless. His fingers are placed interlaced in front of him as if he were fronting an interview.  
He scoots back quickly when she tries to hurry past to the stairs and cuts her off. "Why is your phone off?"

"You're supposed to be in a meeting."

"I rescheduled it. Why are you not at Dauntless?" His stature in the room is arduous. His height playing a major role on the size of the room suddenly appearing that much smaller. She instinctively takes a step back, recognizing her mistake instantly and stopping herself from fleeing altogether.

"I didn't feel well."

His eyes travel across her judgingly. "You look fine to me."

"I was sick. A stomach bug…I-I must've caught it off Thomas. They are constantly bringing bugs home with-"

"Don't lie to me." Eric moves closer and she slips behind the other end of the table. "Why are you lying?" His eyes flash venomously at the objects between them. "Why are you hiding from me?" His voice becoming more irritated.

"I told you."

"Liar!" He calls her out, moving closer and flipping the end chair across the room. Sarah slips along the long bench as he rounds to her side, pushing the table halfway across the room and slinging the bench completely till it topples over and giving her nothing to hide behind. Sarah yelps, stumbling backward as he makes light work of the distance between them and grips her neck. "You've undermined me." He growls out tightly between his clenched teeth, his face breaths away from hers. "It's punishable."

Strangely, Sarah doesn't try and break from his grasp and the unusual reaction makes Eric tilt his head slightly, looking over her body for some kind of subtle hint. "It's half true. I am sick. It's-It's…" She finally grips his wrist as his fingers tighten. "I don't feel _anything_ anymore…"

"Is this what this is?" He nods, checking around him quickly and chuckling to himself quietly. "You don't _feel_ anything anymore? I didn't know Stiff's were so fucking emotional."

"That's the problem…" Sarah stares up at him and he lets go, his humor draining quickly and he brushes the rough knuckles of his fingers against her cheek.

Eric speaks lowly, the sound mostly rumbling through the tattoos on his neck and his pupils blowing wide. "Do you want to feel again?"

"I don't know what I want."

"It's a good thing I do." Eric pushes his fingers through the back of her wet hair, bringing his mouth closer to hers. "Fucking kiss me, Sarah." The words humming across her lips, and he shakes her head a little to get her full attention, refusing to give-in himself first. Instinctively she hits out at his chest.

" _I hate you_." She whispers. "I _hate_ you." But her words and actions couldn't appear any more different. "I hate you, Eric Coulter."

Eric watches her small hands slip onto his shoulder, pushing herself up on her toes and she shyly brushes his lips with her own. Pulling back, Eric smirks triumphantly.

Making her squeak as he lifts her completely off the ground and slamming her down onto the crooked dining table, he speaks dangerously. "You can tell me all the ways you hate me while I fuck you back to reality." He's already pulling at his restrictive jacket, shrugging his arms free till he's only in his standard black shirt. "…I've waited long enough."

Sarah kicks out at him and away, shuffling backward only for him to grab her thighs, dragging her towards him and making her land on her back. Leaning in, he kisses her roughly this way, biting his way across her neck licking any piece of skin he can find. Her response is digging her nails into his back, the inner of her thighs squeezing his waist as he leans heavily into her. She'd never been situated in this kind of position before. The heat merging against her own. The feel of him so delightfully right but so conspicuously wrong.

Consciousness clicks into place and she wriggles underneath, getting her knees on his stomach and pushing him. Not expecting it, Eric takes a step back and she stands up breathlessly, readjusting her towel.

"Stop playing games."

Sarah backs away to the front door.

"Come back here, Sarah." He ducks from a shoe launched at him, next a boot which does manage to smack him in the head. Patience wearing thin, he knocks her back against the door and she chokes from the force.

Sarah slaps him. But he kisses her again, only to feel pain in his side, enough that she slips out from his arms and holds an umbrella up at him.

"Seriously?"

Eric sends it clattering to the ground and manages to get to her. Still billowing forwards with his mouth on hers and through the kitchen doors that slam back against the wall, he doesn't stop till he accidently pushes her into a wooden shelf. The impact has her cry out and the shelves contents splatter to the floor at their feet. The kettle gets thrown off the side when he turns her away from it and plants her on the counter. Sarah grabs a hold of his ear, pulling at the piercings.

"Not here."

He growls impatiently, scooping her up and walking her through the house.

Just when the front door opens…

* * *

A/N

Phew!

Thanks for your fantastic messages and a huge thanks to my fairy godmother in leather who helped out with this chap. (You know who you are!)

Enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

Eric stops mid-stride and Sarah turns her head quickly over her shoulder, eyes widening and squirming against him. "Put me down!" His arms are still tight even though her parents stand staring at her in the doorway.

He lets her go and she drops to her feet, pulling the towel tighter and avoiding eye contact in sheer embarrassment.

"Well, this is awkward…" Eric says quietly with a hint of amusement. An unswayable lopsided smirk sits on his face and he nods to each of them. Slowly, Sarah's mother peers behind them both, taking in the disarray of the dining room.

"It's fine," her mother says abruptly. "Are you staying long, Mr. Coulter?"

Sarah whips her sight back towards both parents, astonished at her mother's small acceptance without using a brash insult. Well, of course, she wouldn't; her old boss is standing in front of her. It makes Sarah shift on the spot and look towards Eric who's already smugly staring down at her causing her cheeks to flush.

"Perhaps you should get dressed, Sarah? Hmm," her mother says, taking one hop more into the room. John passes her, hurriedly realigning the table and picking up the bench, gathering the shoes scattered on the floor before aiding her mother to sit down.

Dithering slightly, Sarah leaves wordlessly, taking the stairs far quicker than necessary. Slamming her bedroom door shut she takes a long inhale of breath, clutching at her neck. The first thing she does is retrieve her phone from under the bed, turning it on and waiting for it to load. It pings with ten missed calls all from Eric. Then a message, ' _I'm coming to get you._ '

She drags the hairbrush through the ends of the tangled mess of her hair, it's slightly crimped from having not been taken care of sooner. Throwing on her usual clothes, she lightly and begrudgingly heads back towards the stairs, halting slightly as she catches their conversation and she frowns to herself.

"…and as you know, I won't need you to come back to your position," Eric finishes whatever handsome speech he probably drawled to them.

"Does that mean Sarah will be permanent?" Her mother pauses. "I think it would be for the best considering her life at abnegation will not pan out well for her afterwards."

"I assure you that this conclusion didn't come lightly. Of course, I feel accountable, so it's only considerate she stays long after her initiation has ended. Which I know she will pass without a fraction of reservation on my part."

Sarah rolls her eyes.

"I'm afraid, knowing Sarah, she will not agree to this. Lately, she has-" Sarah listens harder as her mother talks quieter. "-been causing trouble within the household."

"What do you want me to do about it? She is an adult after all." Eric sounds clipped.

"I guess…" Sarah feels her heart thumping in her chest, a hot heat sweeping her neck and strangling her. She felt betrayed. by how they all directed her life. "We wanted to know about the situation for when she's able to move out."

Eric chuckles. "That bad, huh?"

"Thomas needs his own room."

Sarah takes the remaining steps and all three of them look at her. The expression on Eric's face tells her that he knows that she probably overheard what they had said as he squints fractionally before standing. He knocks out his jacket and shrugs his arms inside.

"Grab some stuff, Sarah," he says while adjusting his collar, and she blinks a few times. "Now. We're leaving."

"You're taking Sarah with you?" John says a little shocked.

"We have some stuff to catch up on." He smiles to himself, watching her stalk back the way she came, and nodding audaciously when their eyes meet when she's half way up the steps. As soon as she is out of sight, he leans deliberately on the table towards them, his smile fading when he says in a low voice, "If I _ever_ see another mark on Sarah's skin from either one of you two…" He flashes a glare between them. "…you'll have me to deal with. Am I clear?"

The two nod after a lengthy silence, knowing he meant every word.

When Sarah appears back at his side, he leads her to the door with his hand on the small of her back. "Good day," he says evenly before closing the door behind them.

Only once outside Sarah peers up at him, her mouth a little open as if she was about to barrage him with bereft questions. "Don't think I haven't forgot about your little meanderings. Now get in the truck."

* * *

There is something about her hands that Eric likes. He doesn't usually like hands. And that's what intrigues him further.

Every now and then he would secretly peer over to her little frame sitting perfectly in the seat across from him. She plays with her split nail, her head tilted down. He also notices she has long eyelashes, the sun catching the darker blonde hairs through the windows as he drove.

He changes gear within his thoughts and exhales sharply through his nose. "Don't pull that stunt again." He feels he has to tell her. Sarah pulls her head up, then faces away out the window. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes," she replies softly, still not bothering to look at him.

"How much did you hear earlier?"

"I didn't—" she tries to lie and he gives her a cold disagreeing frown. "Enough..."

She looks sad and Eric knows he is not of any real comfort so he forces himself to watch the road again as Dauntless begins to present itself in front of them, rising up through the abandoned streets to an ant-like liveliness.

"You'll live," he mumbles, too distracted by the hands waving him down from his fellow guards. He rolls the window down, throwing his arm out to talk down to them.

"We've had reports from the control room," one of the guards tell him. "The factionless are at the fence of Erudite again."

" _Fuck sake,_ " he breathes. "How long they been there?"

"About an hour, sir."

Eric peers over to Sarah. "Can I trust to leave you here?" She nods slowly. "Find Clair and have her escort you to my apartment."

"Shouldn't I wait in your office?"

"I don't know what time I'm coming back and I don't think it's wise you going home, do you?" Her face crumples up and she shakes her head. At the same time, he's waved through and he parks directly outside the doors of dauntless. "Now get yourself something to eat. You're going to need it…" His words saying a thousand things, but also nothing concrete at all. She opens the trucks door and slips down, pulling her bag out of the foot well.

Sarah watches him drive away, picking up a small group of Dauntless equipped with guns who jump in the back of the truck while it's still moving. She scares when someone touches her arm. Recognizing the normal guard from the door, the man pulls her a little and she allows it. "You better go inside, Miss. Nothing you wanna see here."

* * *

"You weren't at work today," Clair says haughtily as she walks ahead. Her tone is accusing as her high heeled shoes titter across the rock walkway.

"I wasn't well," Sarah tries to say sturdily, but it is anything but.

"You know, it's not a good idea to piss Eric off like that." Clair turns down a corridor Sarah somewhat remembers from before. "When he's pissed off he's hell to work with."

"I didn't think it would affect him that-"

"Well, it did," she interrupts. "And the paperwork on my desk he decided to palm off are constant reminders." Sarah watches her tap in the code for Eric's door. It makes her flabbergasted that Clair would know such a thing. She didn't think he'd allow anyone to know the code to his private quarters.

"Eric told you his code?"

Clair holds the door open, ushering her inside while flicking on the lights by the wall. "Only till he gets back, then I guess he will change it again like he always does. Good night."

"Good-" She doesn't get to finish as the door closes and the lock whirls. "Night."

Peering around the room, it is just as cold as the first time. Slowly letting her bag dangle and drop from her fingers, she walks around the place, eyeing everything suspiciously, wondering if he had cameras in here. It's highly likely.

She purposefully pushes her fingerprint into the shiny counters, marking them with an almost invisible touch and watching the print slowly fade out. It's too clean. Too modern. It's very Eric.

While she would rather not cater to his demands, her stomach protested. Calling for her to just have a small inspection of what his fridge might hold. While she suspected his fridge didn't hold much, she was wrong.

It's full. Mostly with meat and already cooked and contained meals obviously to keep up with the demands of his well-developed physique. Deciding not to touch them, she finds a roll filled with chicken wrapped in foil and decides he possibly wouldn't miss it with all the other delicious looking things he had.

Being hungrier than expected, it doesn't take long till she finishes the lot, licking her fingers clean and mouth watering after something sweet. The only things sweet he possessed sat in the fruit bowl. Apples. Lots of them. She takes her time eating one.

Eventually, at a loss, she decides maybe to just go to bed. Hopefully, he won't wake her, and tomorrow will be a new back to routine day. It doesn't make it feel that any less weird and absurd when she finds herself using his bathroom then climbing onto his bed, though. The last thing she does is pull out her bun and leaves the lamp on for comfort.

* * *

Eric's furious growl is what wakes her. Having not heard him enter, the bathroom light is on, a beam shining onto the foot of the bed, and she can't help but still be surprised by how well he has avoided detection.

Her nightwear swings to just below her knees when she stands and she approaches cautiously, pushing the door a little and blinking into the bright light. He's pulling a thread through a gash on his arm while being completely topless and leaning over the sink with fresh blood dripping down into the bowl. There's a strong medical smell lingering in the air and his jaw couldn't be any more tense with his brows furrowed over what he's doing. On the side lie various bottles and gauzes she assumed he keeps in a cupboard in there.

The look she receives when he catches her standing there is lethal. His eyes slip down her wears for the tiniest of moments. "Get out."

"What happened?"

"Sarah…go back to bed," he reiterates a little kinder.

Despite his words, she approaches him anyway. "Let me help you."

"I don't want your help!" he practically bellows, and she swallows dryly but keeping firmly on the spot. He knocks a bottle while turning for a gauze and curses loudly. "Fucking factionless."

Although his torso is clean, there is a sheen of sweat coating him, his skin contouring over the muscles while he's hunched over. But his face is filthy, a small cut just on the side of his jaw.

Thinking of how Eric sees the world, she tries a different approach, keeping her words moderate. "It would be quicker if I did it. I passed first aid at Dauntless."

There's a long pause and he sighs tightly, considering thoroughly what she just said. "Fine. But be quick about it." He stands to his full height, not looking at her and holds his arm still over the sink. Taking the needle, she picks up from his work – which wasn't a lot - and quickly sets to work. He grunts, but beyond that doesn't make any sound and she doesn't look up at him till she's finished.

There's something frightening when Eric is quiet. It usually means he's thinking, and when he's thinking he seems to blow things out of proportion in his mind, and that's what's truly dangerous.

"Do you want me to wrap it?" she asks cautiously.

"No." Eric inspects her work, seemingly satisfied when he flexes his hand. "Not bad, Stiff. I need to take a shower first. You can do it after."

Sarah smiles to herself. Even though it was a little accomplishment for him to appreciate her help, it still made her feel better being valued for something. She turns to leave and he grabs her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To bed," she says matter-of-factly and a little confused while at the same time trying to think of something he could call her out on. She had tidied up everything she had used earlier; she hadn't been anywhere else and certainly hadn't seen anyone. Surely he should be content with her.

"I thought you wanted to know what happened?" It's a trick, sly question and she doesn't know where he's really going with it.

She breathes calmly through her nose. "I did, but it doesn't matter now."

"I got cut because I hesitated. I got distracted." Even though his arm is injured, his fingers grip into her shoulder, pulling her closer, before they travel to the side, crumpling up the material to reveal her bare skin where his eyes linger. "It was the image of you warmly curled in bed while I stood out in the cold, just as the crowd broke. That's when I got cut. Because of you." Eric wasn't one for compliments or staged flirty words, but he could flatter to an extent if he tried hard enough.

She follows the work of his hands. "That's…that's not my fault. You told me to come here."

"Oh, I know." He pouts for a second before tilting his head to the side, all the while fiddling with parts of the concealing material of her clothes. "Considering you offered your help, I may need it actually."

Sarah blinks her captivating eyes at him wordlessly. Her nightwear floats to the ground around her feet and she appears surprised but not unsettled by it at all when she looks down then straight back into his gaze. Eric smirks.

Goosebumps align her chest, extending down to her nipples and he drags a hand down the valley of her breasts until he firmly slips a grip on her waist which causes a hitch in her breath. "You don't wear clothes while in my bedroom." Eric only lets go for a second to kick off his pants till he's bare in front of her and begins pulling the naked girl to the shower.

"I've already-"

"What's the harm?" Turning on the taps, the water jets out cold but he doesn't hesitate, pulling them both under and she yelps. Slowly it warms up and she splutters from the water, wiping at her eyes, always staring up at him. Waiting. Questioning.

Eric cleans the grit off his skin with soap. Once his face is clean, he runs a thumb over his most prized possession, letting his fingers tangle into the back of her hair as he pulls her towards him. Though his arm stings like a bitch, he hands her the soap and she takes his quiet command and lathers herself. What he doesn't expect is for her to reach out to him, trailing a hand across his stomach. The only sound in the room is the constant pitter-patter of the droplets on the tiles.

She still doesn't like his silence. His face is also composed and stoic as he watches her. But whether she likes admitting it or not, his body _is_ admirable, and it should be admired. The tension builds in the room while they stand there, and she dares to move her hand lower when he doesn't reprimand her.

"Do you think that's wise?"

"I just thought—"

But he doesn't let her finish her answer, shutting off the shower with a sharp twist of his hand. Sarah bows her head a little shamefully while watching him get out the shower.

He hands her a towel as she passes him quickly on her way back to the bedroom. She dries herself and then finds her hair brush. Eric seems to dally in the bathroom, she guesses that he's wrapping his arm.

She lays still as he finally enters the room, approaches the bed and throws back the covers. He's completely naked. Intimately so, and extremely explicit in Sarah's eyes. Her core moistens but she doesn't dare acknowledge it.

The last thing he does is switch off the lamp, covering them in darkness.

* * *

Sarah wakes from a dream about Eric. A dream that felt so real it leaves her breathless and looking for him in the darkness. He's fast asleep on his back, his face away from her.

This dream was no ordinary dream. She had dreamt things about boys she liked and imagined them kissing, maybe touching intimately. This night she dreamt of being consumed by Eric. The feel of his body against hers. The scent of him completely around her. The sound of him hissing her name.

She has touched herself before. Way before Eric had touched her. But it wasn't the same. Her hands are small and she moves gently against herself. Eric has shown her things she didn't even know she liked. His fingers knowing exactly what he was doing and how to do it. She could only imagine the things he could do with his other appendages.

And it's that thought that has her slip her hands across her stomach and between her legs where she's already aching. Her eyes roll back when she gets there but she tries not to make a sound, only the hitch in her breath is the only clue. It feels completely criminal but satisfying without Eric knowing while he sleeps. It spurs her on more…

She touches something Eric has claimed before, trying to mimic him and the sparks hum throughout her body. She tries desperately to calm her breath which now flutters disjointedly and she knows she's close.

The bed shifts and a warm hand slides across her stomach. Sarah stops instantly, eyes flying open and peering at Eric leaning on his elbow.

"Don't stop on my behalf." She tries to sit up but he pushes her down and he moves closer, their skin touching, his heat dissolving her as he slowly moves on top of her. "Are you frustrated, Stiff? Do you like having a warm body to sleep next to at night? I gotta say I'm surprised." Eric knocks her hand out the way, wasting no time in replacing them with his own and shifting his weight. Her back arches into him and he bites the delicate skin of her neck, his breath hot and heavy as he pumped his fingers flawlessly. He swivels his hand and she moans out. "Let me hear you. Don't get shy on me now, Sarah."

Every movement had her brimming on the edge, her voice becoming more and more restricted. And suddenly, he stops.

She frowns, slightly hearing the calling alarm of Eric's phone and he peers humorously down at her. "Ah…time for work." He squeezes her inner thigh as he gets to his knees and rolls off the bed.

Sarah blows hair out of her face, propping herself up half in a daydream. " _Now_ , Stiff!" Eric shouts from the bathroom and she almost flies out from the bed.

"Okay!"

* * *

Eric knows exactly what he's doing.

She is standing directly next to his chair with an electronic pad, listening and taking notes about the report from the protest outside Erudite. But like before, he brushes the print of his fingers up and down against her leg, not caring for the guards sitting in front of him who barely acknowledge the movement anymore. At first, they had, their eyes shifting to what he was doing, but Eric does what he wants.

Eventually, he even goes as far as playing with the side of her skirt, bouncing his leg impatiently in front of him.

Her eyes snap up and Eric fleetingly acknowledges her when they mention her faction. "There was a group outside Abnegation. They've been detained."

"Two events in two days…" Eric sighs to himself. "I can see this becoming lengthy, don't you?" She meets his eye unwillingly and he smirks, even though he wasn't even talking to her. "We'll enforce Dauntless presence, should discourage them for a bit. Anything else?" He looks at her crotch.

"There was a death at the wall, an accident. They fell. But that's it really." One of the older guards grumbles, appearing to be completely disinterested. "And then we got the normal…. complaints, suggestions and whatever shit anyone decides to have a little moan over." He pushes the written complaint forms towards Eric who merely nudges the papers into the waste bin to the side.

"I'll set the procedures to cater the factionless. Hold a small ceremony in the pit later for the death. And have someone email me all the footage from Erudite. But _don't_ allow any calls from that persistent wench Jeanine to come through to my phone. I'm busy… pass it to Wayne. Notify Clair on your way out."

"Yes, sir." They take it as their leave and only nod once before leaving.

Sarah bites her lip, daring to ask over the side of the pad propped on her forearms. "Nothing bad happened at Abnegation?"

"Why should you care? Your family has practically disowned you." The words are painful to hear. "Have I hurt your feelings?"

"Only because it is true," she settles for. Saving the list of notes and placing the pad on the table she keeps her sigh of misery to herself. "Do you want me for anything else?"

"Depends on what you're offering?" Eric swivels in his chair, his knees basically touching her leg. "I'm awfully stressed, I could use some relief."

"Sleeping usually helps. Or hot-" He laughs at her suddenly.

"I want you to sing for me." Eric gyrates playfully in his chair. Regardless of the work in front of him, he seems relatively upbeat.

"That's…not a good idea. I haven't sung for weeks."

"Well, what a better time than any." He's not letting this go, his smug face tells her so. "You like to sing, do you not?"

"Happy or sad?" she asks defiantly, refusing to be intimidated.

"Er…happy…nothing sad." He crosses his arms waiting expectantly.

Sarah clears her throat, taking a sharp breath and trying to focus on something across the room. " _Underneath the stars you met me. And Underneath the stars you left me. I wonder if the stars regret me. I'm sure they'd like me if they only met me. They come and go of their own free will. Go gently_."

She goes quiet, closing her eyes as he chuckles through most of the entirety of her song. She had rushed it and it wasn't perfect. But under the lime-light, it was the best she could do.

"Well…that was _special_." Eric's tries to hide his smile. "Why did you stop?" He still laughs a little, clearing his throat to compose himself.

"Because."

He opens his mouth to reply, but his phone begins ringing loudly on his desk and he picks it up sloppily, answering while eyeing her deviously. "I'll be right there." As he stands he places his hands onto her small hips. "Stay here until Wayne comes to get you."

"Wayne?" A bolt of dread suddenly emerges from the pit of her stomach. She never understood him from the elevator incident

"I won't be long. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone, songbird." Grabbing his things from the desk, he turns last minute before walking through the door. "Oh, and uhm, keep your hands to yourself," he winks.

Sarah swears he hears him whistle an off note from her song as he walks the corridor. She decides she also doesn't like him in good moods either…

* * *

Wayne nudges her while they sit in the middle of the Mess hall, a table mostly to themselves bar the person using the bench on the far side as a spare seat while he speaks loudly with his friends. "You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm not really hungry."

"You need to eat." It was probably the longest conversation they have had since leaving Eric's office. "What's got under your skin?"

Sarah stabs at her chicken before looking up at Wayne. "How long have you known Eric?"

"We passed initiation together, so over ten years." He smiles, showing a decent set of white teeth although the tip of one of his front teeth are chipped. His expression drops and he turns a little more to face her. "Tell me about your family, more specifically, your sister. She's going to be working Sunday."

"My sister is Abnegation through and through…"

"So, you're not?"

Sarah pauses, her eyes flicking around his face before slowly exhaling. "Eric hasn't told me what she'll be doing here."

"I can tell you." He drinks quickly from his cup, avoiding her furrowed expression. "She'll be working with me." He wipes his lips with the cuff of his jacket before looking at her again, watching her closely as the revelation slowly sinks in.

"My sister shouldn't be here. She's not…strong."

"And you are? You think you're worthy of being here?" Wayne glares at her. "Look, I'm a nice guy. If she's a nice girl, we'll get along."

"I don't know you."

The only warning Sarah receives is an almost silent snarl just before he slams his hand down on hers that is holding the fork. The end of the handle stabs her palm and she snatches her hand back, cupping it as the throbbing pain travels up her arm and tilting her head down.

"Know your place," Wayne snaps ferociously. "Being Eric's little toy doesn't make you special. You got that?" Sarah nods, holding back tears. "And keep your mouth shut. For your sister's sake." He rolls his neck agitatedly, popping something in in his back before tapping the table. "Now finish your dinner and I'll take you back." He throws his empty cup across the table and for once Sarah would've rather have been with Eric.

* * *

Wayne walked her to Eric's apartment. He'd scanned over the small red swelling on her palm, stroking it and saying it was nothing and that she shouldn't talk out of place. He called her beautiful again and tried touching her face but she backed away like a cornered animal, fear suddenly catching her unexpectedly. He had sighed then, opening the door and telling her he'll see her soon before locking it on his way out.

She sat at the island in the kitchen for however long she couldn't tell. Then made her way to the cold leather couch, counting the tiles on the kitchen floor to pass time. It was dark now. Maybe Eric isn't coming back?

Kicking off her boots, the Abnegation rests her head on the arm of the chair and waits...

She is only fully aware she fell asleep when she wakes up the next morning. However, not on the couch, but she can't remember waking and moving to the bed. Sitting up, the duvet falls from her chest and her grey dress is gone, leaving her in just underwear. She frowns deeply, peering to Eric who is dead to the world, facing away, always facing away. _When did he get here_?

Thinking long and hard, she vaguely remembers him speaking to her but it was dreamy, and she thought it _was_ a dream. It seems that it had been actually reality, and in the end, he had taken her to bed. Whether he had undressed her or she had done so herself, she doesn't know. Guessing it's still early, she lies back down. Waiting for the usual alarm.

* * *

It seems the disruption that the factionless protests are causing is affecting Eric more than she would've expected.

He looks tired today. His face is pale, his eyes dark. He hasn't said much, giving her an idle job and she doesn't want to disturb his work by questioning him. At one point he even rubs at his face and she's quietly struck by having never seen him ever appear lacklustre at all in the past.

"What?!" He snaps at her when he catches her staring. She shakes her head and continues with stapling his letters.

Nothing could have prepared her for that afternoon, though. Eric had sent her to the mess hall for lunch, asking her to bring something back when she would return. But by the way Clair is hovering outside of his office door alongside the multiple voices shouting coming from within the office, Sarah contemplates heading back down the elevator because this has gone from bad to worse.

"What's going on?" Sarah asks over the loud voices but she doesn't hesitate to grab the door handle. Clair tries to stop her but it swings open.

"…Five people!" Eric is roaring into the man's face who is pushed up against the wall. The room is a mess and the Dauntless soldier isn't in a better state.

Wayne is also present, holding back a woman who is trying to break free while rambling random reasons about things Sarah doesn't understand. There's another whack and the soldiers head flies to the side while he moans.

Eric turns his head and she just catches his upper lip curled angrily, his teeth clenched. "Fuck it," he says to no one and wraps his hands around the man's throat.

"No!" the woman screams and Wayne begins to laugh. But soon his laughter dies when the soldier's face turns blue and Eric doesn't let go.

Mesmerized in the moment, Sarah drops the bag of food, her entire body going cold. "Eric!" He hears her because he squeezes the man's throat tighter. "Eric, stop!" She reaches his side and tries to pull his arm away, but they are like steel with the muscles flexed. She can't even get her hands around them. "You're going to kill him! Stop!"

Eric moves faster than she can comprehend, his fingers digging into the back of her neck, his thumb squeezing into the delicate skin as he brings her up to the wall next to the soldier. She sees nothing but utter fury in his eye. The look poised to kill. The inhibition of self-awareness dissipated.

And killing her, he is. Slowly.

Squeezing till she couldn't breathe while tears sting her eyes. Her hands try to pull him away but her attempts are futile. She gags and coughs with the effort, only faintly aware of how hazy the room is beginning to feel while being caught under his wrath and consumed by utmost fear.

"Would you give your life for… _him_?" Eric eyes the soldier before glaring back down at her, the fingers tensing at her neck with his words.

Through the effort of trying to breathe and the pain that sears her throat, she manages to build her selfless courage, staring directly back at him.

"Y-yes."

* * *

A/N

You lot just gotta wait... ;)

Thanks to my fairy godmother for sorting me out ALOT this chapter. It was hella messy.

Enjoy. x


	10. Chapter 10

Sarah watches his eyes light up with surprize and his fingers twitch around her neck, the pressure becoming sufferable and allowing her to greedily suck in the air around her.

Eric's grip becomes less as he stares deeply into her eyes, until he suddenly shoves her away.

Her hands instantly feel around the burning skin of her aching throat while taking deep shuddering breaths. She can only comprehend what the soldier is feeling as Eric doesn't make a move to let him go. But she sees his eyes rolling into the back of his head, the consciousness draining.

"Get out!" he bellows, scaring those present. Dropping his pinned victim to the floor, he rubs at his brow, not bothering to face any of them. Wayne hesitates for a second, before dragging the girl to the door, and the soldier is left in a crumpled heap on the floor, along with his futile attempts to come around. "All of you, OUT!"

Opposed to test him further, Sarah hurries into the corridor, leaning against the wall to gather herself. Clair had made the right decision to sit back behind the safety of her desk, but her eyes are glued on the Abnegation girl, somewhat softer than usual. Stumbling up to the desk, Sarah manages to croak out, "Can you show me back to the apartment…please…", catching the way curious stares linger towards her neck.

"You're either brave or stupid," Is all that Clair says before standing and guiding her to the elevator.

It's not like Eric's apartment was any comfort to Sarah but at least it is far away from him and his foul mood.

A whisper in the back of her brain comments on how he had been so close to choking the life out of her. But what also confuses her is how he refrained from doing just that. Defying his known character.

For some absurd reason, she suddenly thinks back on a conversation at school about how life is supposed to flash before the eyes at the very end.

But it hadn't been anything like that. All she could only think of was preventing a huge mistake he would've made by drawing away the attention.

Whether it had been her Abnegation upbringing or plain stupidity as Clair had rightfully commented, she didn't know. And she didn't want to think of another outcome.

Sure, Eric had been difficult the last day or so, and for reasons he didn't divulge. And she was also aware of some of the workings of his mind, but it seems different this time. His lack of control. His dismissal of the room. Eric was fraught…

She takes her time idling in his apartment. At one point dithering over looking in one of his draws in the bedroom and thinking better of it when she imagined him finding out.

As darkness falls and there's still no sign of him, she takes the longest shower, leaving her hair down but redressing while packing her bag. She is going to tell Eric that she wants to go home. Putting up with her parents would be better than constantly risking her life. She needs time to herself, away from anything that is him as the lines of their symbiosis and bizarre association with each other are becoming blurred. She realises that distance is needed, especially for her own sake.

Sarah is eating at the island bar when she hears the familiar sound of the lock swirling, and Eric steps into the room. He looks at her for a long moment and then to the bag, putting two and two together.

"You're leaving?" He still sounds mad, his face echoing his annoyance. Eric's usually pristine appearance is corrupted by his scruffy collar, his jacket half-mast and the dark bags under his eyes.

"I have to go home," she says. "I can't stay here. Not with you. I can't be with you in the day and put up with in the night as well. Not anymore." He doesn't say anything, just waits but still frowns agitatedly at her. "I'm not under orders to stay here."

She breaks eye contact unwillingly, showing her anxiety. She swirls her pasta with the fork with her heart racing erratically while all the while trying to appear indifferent. Time away from him and the cool off had given her a slice of confidence. Not a lot, but enough to voice herself.

After all, she had looked death in the eye and survived…

Eric sighs, shrugging off his jacket and moving closer, making her shift a little back in her seat when he reaches out and caresses the faint marks on her neck, reminding him slightly of his tattoos. "You have a habit of royally ticking me off," he all but whispers. "The man deserved to die."

"And that was your decision to make?"

"I had every right." Eric says defensively, dropping his hand. "You don't have any idea of what's going on do you? …of course you wouldn't… you only see what you want to see," he half mumbles to himself, stifling a jeer at her expense.

"I only see what you _want_ me to see. And same goes for everything else…"

"Fine." Eric pulls a stool, sitting uncomfortably close to her. "I'll tell you. The other factions are being intercepted by the factionless for food and supplies. I've been working on securing multiple zones and fencing off areas for safety. Redirecting popular routes and forbidding places factionless tend to roam. I've squared off Abnegation and Amity first," Eric says slowly while tilting his head, watching as his words sink in by her mouth parting slightly and avoiding him. "Along the way we get examples of the soldier in my office earlier. Thinking they know better and getting too big for their assigned boots." One of his eyebrows rises as he talks, exhaling the next minute before explaining further. "He ordered a patrol into a well-known and highly hazardous area where five Dauntless lost their lives this morning." Sarah swallows dryly. "Killing him would save a trial. But I now have to do that, on top of everything else because you played diplomat."

"I couldn't watch you-"

"And that's why you're not going home. It's not safe." Eric stands, trying to end the conversation by ignoring anything she says completely.

"You can't keep me here." She slips off the stool, taking a step behind it. "I don't belong here."

"Give it a rest."

"No!" She raises her voice. "You tried to kill me!"

"Fuck you. Fuck your stupid ass opinions and thoughts, you know jack shit," Eric waves her off dismissively.

"I know that you are human like the rest of us and you try to pretend you're not. I know that you think you are in control, but you're not! Look at what you did to me! Again!"

"You're testing my patience," he growls threateningly as he saunters towards the bedroom. He grabs her bag on the way, taking it with him. He empties the contents on the floor just inside the bedroom.

"What are you doing!?" She races over, trying to pick everything up, reluctantly crying now as every plea seems to have been shot down in Eric's stoic style and knows there is no way he was going to allow her to leave. He throws the empty bag across the room, treading quickly into the bathroom where he washes his hands and splashes his face with cold water. "I need my bag. I need my stuff. I need to go home-"

"And I need you here!" Eric's tone is heavy but decisively clear. His hands slam on the bowl of the sink powerfully with his words and he leans down into his arms, his head between his two broad shoulders. "Fuck this…"

He rushes past, grabbing his jacket and heading for a quick exit.

"Why?"

With the door ajar, he peers back to her standing there nervously and playing with her hands. Her damp hair wavy and long, framing her face. Her cheeks are rosy, eyes catching the light and they shine with unshed tears. When she bites at her lip and looks to the floor, his resolve breaks… Shatters.

"I don't know why I do. But I do. Just accept it." He snarls the last part, expecting her to throw herself sobbing to the floor. But she doesn't. Keeping his voice even and body taut, he tells her, "I won't be long." And the door locks behind him.

* * *

Eric doesn't really know why he is here. But he knows he needed to get away from the Stiff before he did something he might have regretted later.

He knocks once, quickly, and hears the footsteps on the other side.

Nina only opens the door a fraction, eyes widening, and leans up against the frame with a flirty smile on her face. "I knew you'd be back."

"I knew you'd be waiting."

"Got bored with your adorable little pet?" Her hips sway as she walks away from him, inviting him inside. It's not the first time he's been here. He's been here in the past, but the size of the room always seems to throw him compared to his lavish place. "I guess you didn't come here to chat?"

"Not quite."

She pours two glasses of bourbon, smiling over her shoulder on his reply.

She's much taller than Sarah. Her legs longer. Her hair dark and cut to just above the shoulders. Even her clothes sit tightly to her body, the complete opposite to the Stiff. Eric gnaws his cheek, he _cannot_ think of the stiff now.

He sits down quickly on her small couch, leaning against the back and casually throwing his legs out in front of him. Even though she poured the drinks and brings them over, she places hers directly on the side, handing him a glass which he knocks back quickly as she throws her legs either side of him, straddling his lap. She takes the glass from him, and whether he wants to or not, he looks at her hands, nails painted black and long as they then grip at his jacket, pulling him closer. Nina grinds her hips against him and his irritation starts to peak already.

"Wow…you're a little strung tonight, _aren't you_?" Nina whispers in his ear derisively seductive. "You want me?" Her tongue begins to trail across his jaw.

An unusual white noise buzzes in his ears, scenes flashing back from all the questionable things he's said and done towards Sarah. His own voice replaying in his head. " _I want you to want me_."

"I do want you." But it's the wrong voice speaking back to him. Suddenly his body tenses up, realizing he muttered the words aloud and grips her hips painfully as she leans towards his lips.

He smirks. "You are _such_ a whore…"

The dark haired woman pulls her head back, eyes flicking up and down in confusion. "What?"

"Get off me." Eric all but kicks her away, watching her drop like a heap to floor. His hands shake and he begins to feel the rush of heat up his back. The feeling almost similar to panic. Desperation riddling him to get back to his apartment.

Stepping over her, he throws the door open, leaving it to swing back on its own as he redirects his path the way he came. Wayne spots him, hovering at his door and pressing his code into the keypad as Eric passes. "Hey!" He calls with an amused smile on his face but Eric barely looks at him.

"Not now."

The elevator even takes too long, making him tap his foot and push the button repeatedly. The corridors seem torturous, the people he passes too curious of his stride.

Typing in his own code, he steps quickly into his apartment. Sarah's not in the kitchen like he thought. "Sarah!" He shouts while peering to the bedroom. He _hates_ the desperation riddling through him.

There she sits, meekly, on the end of his bed. Her hands are cupped in her lap, her skirt splayed out either side of her. And she looks frightened. "What happen-"

Gripping her forearm and making her stand, she braces against him, and he dips his head, claiming her lips hungrily. Out of surprise she doesn't respond straight away, probably vying on the edge of caution – and rightfully so. But that's only until he licks at her top lip and he feels the goose bumps rise under his hand. "I need you…now." She tries to divert her eyes but he pulls her face up to look at him where reluctantly their blues meet. "I need you. I won't say it again."

"Eric I-"

"You what? Don't want me? We both know you do." His hands slip down the small of her back, caressing and soothing with the pads of his fingers.

Sarah lets her eyes close with the sensation, sucking in her bottom lip when she feels the hot trail of his mouth on the side of her jaw, lowering onto her neck. The room slightly sways and her knees buckle when he bites at the skin lightly. A small moan subconsciously leaves her throat.

Humming through her own noise, she mutters, "It's not that…" Next he pays attention to the small reveal of her collarbone, sucking at the flesh and leaving her almost panting. "I imagined being with someone I… loved. Not like-"

"I never thought you were one for romantic fairy tales." She feels him smirk on her skin. "Live a little." Knocking out her knees, she lands on her back, staring up at him with wide eyes as he looms over her. He parts her legs and she allows him to press his hips between each thigh. He kneels between her and reaches for her stockings, slowly lowering one until they strip away from her skin. He drags his hand up her leg teasingly, the trail of heat and the strength in his hand making her quiver before he begins working on the other.

Not knowing what to do with her arms, she leaves them loose at her side, but ruffling the sheets between her fingers. "Am I just a toy to you?" It is a question lingering in her mind from all the times people called her out on being his play thing. She needs to know, through his words.

Eric leans back, his brows dipping in thought and the light catches his piercings. He takes a minute to find his answer, seemingly mulling over the words in his head before he utters them. "You're not a toy… You are Sarah Bennett."

The stocking is peeled from her leg and he hitches up her skirt, revealing her stomach, placing his mouth on the smooth skin. Her breath is caught in her throat as his tongue swirls soft patterns, moving up towards her ribs and a wandering hand skims a thumb under her breast. "…Assigned to me." When she manages to breathe again, he leans back and she watches his eyes roam across her stomach, his palms moving along the curves of her hips and waist as if he is memorising every little piece of her. "…A distraction." His gaze burns, and she fidgets self-consciously. "…A woman with too many questions."

He tugs up the material of her dress, forcing her to slightly sit up as he pulls it over her head, the long locks of hair cascade across her bare skin. He makes light work of the pale cotton bra and he throws it across the room, only to latch onto her breast, his mouth cool against her warm flesh. She hisses and squirms, his erection hard against her core through the cotton of her underwear. "…And you are mine."

Eric groans in annoyance and complete frustration, sitting back on his heels to undo his restricting jacket, shrugging it from his shoulders, revealing the plain black shirt underneath. He hooks his fingers under the hem of his shirt, about to pull it off, but she sits up and reaches out, doing it for him.

She travels the plains of his body once bare, with splayed hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs because she knows he will love the way she is finally showing her interest. He gazes down at her wanderings and he seems to give her a minute to scour across the tense muscle, fixatedly watching the movement of her hands. Trailing up his chest, he leans back down to her, his weight dipping the mattress as he braces an arm either side of her body, his lips capturing her mouth.

"Promise me something." Sarah says breathlessly. "Promise you won't hurt me anymore."

"I'm Dauntless, Sarah. It's what I do."

"Not with me." She needs to hear it. "I need to be able to trust you. I don't want to be frightened."

So he nods. "I'll try." But before she can protest, he pushes his fingers into her underwear, sliding between her folds till he enters her. Some sort of sighing gasp of his name quivers from her lips and it makes him hum to himself appreciatively.

She has never sighed anyone's name in that certain way before. Fully aware that she has also certainly never felt the need to have his hands on her body as much as she does now. Maybe she is just as deluded as he is. But it is thrilling. His need and lust for her gives her a sense of empowerment. The big bad Dauntless Leader, capable of many things, but when it comes down to her, she is the main reason for his lack of control. It makes sense, his frustration with her, his crazed actions towards her. He was out of his depth. Though she knows it is lust and not love; she could bet that this was the first time he has ever told anybody he needed them. It was all in the tone of his voice and his hot and cold attitude towards her. His games have turned into his weakness; and he loathes weakness and in turn loathes her, which has turned to lust. It is all his own doing.

She is snapped from the thought by the same sound of her underwear. The piece of cotton is discarded to the side of the bed somewhere and his thumb encircles her clit, making her grip onto the mass of his shoulders, trying to anchor herself as the feeling of release almost becomes uncontrollable.

Sarah is vaguely aware of the sound of his belt buckle and the wash of cold air rushing between them when he shifts upwards while discarding his pants. But she can barely think with the way his fingers curl, and he alternates the movement of his hand. It is all too much but not enough at the same time. She knows that he knows exactly what he is doing. If he would bother to up his pace she would be lost to the bliss of ecstasy within a few seconds, but he won't let her. Eric is in control now, and what's more, is that she wants him to be.

He pulls her up, and turns until he is propped up against the headboard as he all but drags her with him. She fumbles as he tugs her to hover over him, the heat of their most intimate parts just grazing against each other, his thick thighs stabilizing her, her knees on either side of his hips. A pulse thrums throughout her body, she knows what is happening, what is about to happen - and she wants it to happen. And it is with that realization that she looks away from him, suddenly overwhelmed and embarrassed by that peculiar sensation.

"Look at me."

The hot hand that cups her jaw is so unlike the man she has perceived him to be, especially when his thumb caresses against her flushed cheek. She makes sure to keep her eyes on him when he reaches between them, placing his erection at her entrance. The usual piercing blues are almost black when his eyes flick up to meet hers again.

"There's no pleasure without pain," his voice rumbles lowly while his grip tightens around her hips, and he pulls her down on top of him.

Inch by inch, with the rhythm of his rolling hips, she accepts him. Sarah finds herself biting the inside of her cheek tasting blood and clamping her eyes shut, unwillingly yelping. He sits completely up, wrapping his arms around her body in some form of comfort. Eric's breath flutters elatedly but all she can think of is how tight everything feels.

Whimpering to herself, he silently instructs her by slowly rocking, guiding her how to move.

Open mouthed kisses cross her chest, strong hands moving up the indentation of her spine and he pulls her closer. She dares to feel the muscles in his arm, digging her fingers into the skin and he exhales sharply. "You're fine, Sarah," he comforts her, "Fucking fine." She watches his lips as they part in pleasure while he gazes up at her, then eventually capturing them between his teeth with a groan.

Reaching out to his face, she traces the line of his jaw, the day-old stubble rough underhand, and she is amazed with the fact that for once he isn't frowning or mocking with his expression.

Still in his embrace, Eric flips them both over, thrusting into her before her head hits the mattress. Parting her left leg wider, he then grips it, his mouth back onto her neck.

Sarah doesn't cry out because of pain, it's the pulsing of pleasure, the ache of unfamiliarity of something she had never known she wanted. She actually likes hearing the hitch in his throat, the one or two moans that escapes him loudly.

Eric's hand slips down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers as he holds her tight, chasing his release. Then it hits her. The gasp caught, her eyes fluttering shut and her head tilts up towards the ceiling. Eric doesn't stop thrusting into her, and she says his name again breathlessly while a whitewash of bliss whisks her away. She only hears him grunt quickly, between a growl and self-satisfaction while pulsing against her womb as he comes inside of her.

Sarah's legs quake. Both of them catching their breath and Eric's body seems less tense while on top of her. She can barely move, and he doesn't for a good minute.

Eventually he peels himself away, the slippery wet feeling pooling between her legs as he does. "Go to the bathroom." Eric says quietly, "I need to eat." She watches him scour for his boxers, but only to wipe himself with them then saunters off naked to the kitchen.

She cups herself as she walks quickly, closing the door behind her and sitting on the toilet. There's blood - not a lot, and she is sore, but she finds herself more sated than anything, yawning while sitting there and head feeling heavy.

Sarah slips back into bed and sleep overtakes quickly. Whether Eric comes back, she would never know.

* * *

Biting the end of a pen was an unavoidable habit of Eric's. Sitting back in his chair, surrounded by the familiarity of his office, he smirks, watching as the girl before him shakes with anxiety.

Should he tell her that he slept with her sister last night and that she fucking loved it?

Calling his name and moaning underneath him the whole while and that she _utterly_ wanted it?

Mary peers to the floor when catching the amused expression on his face. And now he knows she is not to his taste. She's taller than Sarah and her hair a weird matt brown he didn't like. Although her face is round, her chin had a different shape and it ruined the image for him. Plus, her eyes were horribly lighter than Sarah's ocean blue and he thinks that there is _definitely_ not an ounce of fire within her.

Whenever he moves, she seems to be on the verge of passing out. She probably would – Eric stifles his laugh on that thought, though the image was highly entertaining.

But anyone who would quickly look at the two girls would say they were easily related to each other. He wonders if they felt the same…He shakes his head, pushing the evil thought from his mind.

Somehow he still writhers back in thought to the morning, when he had woke. He had dressed quickly as per usual, leaving Sarah to sleep. However, he had been reluctant to leave and had found himself hovering over her as she had slept, for a long time that would've been considered creepy if it hadn't been him doing it himself.

With an inner turmoil, he had reached out to her face, lightly stroking the line of her cheek and feathering off into her hair, twisting a lock between his fingers. At that moment he had scolded himself, turning swiftly and heading straight for his office where he had known Mary would be waiting for him. However, Sarah didn't know that. Eric wonder if she even knows what day of the week it is.

"You're timely, like your sister," Eric finally breaks the silence. He has been sitting there grinning to himself for far too long.

"Thank you, Mr. Coulter," Her warbling voice replies back to him. "Is my…is Sarah okay?"

"She's fine. She says hello."

Mary nods multiple times, keeping her head low. "Where is she? I-I thought she would be here."

"She's in my bed," he smirks back to her at the way her eyes widen and she can't even look at him anymore. "She had a rough night."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed…" He taps the desk, thinking back to the way Sarah sighed his name. "So…" He says way too loudly and scares the young Abnegation. "I'm guessing you know why you are here.? And I wish I could say that Mr. Tulver is as timely as you are, but he's proven that to be untrue." He pulls back a draw and finds the same papers Sarah signed. "Come here and sign this."

Eric pursues the same tactic he used on Sarah, making her lean across him to sign her name. Mary's hands shake, unlike her sisters. He's about to comment on it when a dishevelled Wayne enters his office, patting down his wild mane of hair in the process.

"Speak of the devil… Mary meet Wayne." Eric watches as the Dauntless official scans her up and down, and then smiles appreciatively.

"Why…the pleasures all mine…"

* * *

It's around midday when Eric enters into his apartment, catching Sarah in the middle of the living area. A bowl of whatever she's eating in hand while wearing his shirt from yesterday. She looks up at him, the fire that Mary lacked fully sparked in her eyes. It takes him five short strides to stop in front of her, coaxing the bowl from her hand without much effort to place it on the nearest counter.

He then scoops up the back of her bare thighs, her legs wrapping around his waist and making her grip onto his shoulders. "Hello, Sarah." His words gravelly while he walks towards the bedroom. "Did you sleep well?"

Sarah's head tilts a little at him, almost shyly and there is no way to avoid his penetrative gaze. "I did."

"Good." He places himself seated on the edge of the bed with her clinging onto him.

"I need more clo …oh…othes…" She trails off as he unexpectedly pushes his fingers inside of her, testing her and teasing her. He chuckles because her juices are already flowing and for the main fact she's not wearing underwear.

Sliding a hand up her back, he grips her hair harshly and she gasps, her breaths fluttering on his face while forcing her head back to reach the soft skin of her neck. There are marks from their last encounter along with the prints of his fingers. It only signified how much she is his and no one else's,. And if he had his way, she'd never leave the apartment again so she didn't so much as have to breathe the same air of another man.

She still watches him closely, her eyes hooded in this position. "Hold on to me," Eric says while standing, leaning to get room to unbuckle himself. Slipping his pants to his knees, he repositions himself so she can get a better balance on the bed. And slowly, she sinks down on top of him. For a minute her face scrunches up, and he allows her time to adjust.

But he really ought to tell her that her sister is here…

He waits till a spark of his own pleasure fills him, the wicked thought heavy on his mind, fuelling his arousal. He grips her face harshly and she stops moving against him. "Do you know what day it is?"

Confusion sweeps over her features. "Saturday?"

"No. It's Sunday." He smirks up at her.

"What?!" She tries to pull away, shifting her legs to get off him, but he holds her hips steady. She bucks like a fucking rodeo horse and it feels fantastic.

Quickly he stands and flips her onto her back, pulling her ass to the side of the bed. "It's Sunday, Sarah." He thrusts deeply inside her. "I guess you know what that means." Her pathetic attempts to fight only fuel him further. She even goes as far as biting his forearm and he hisses out a curse, paying her back by driving deeper.

Eric sees her hand and grabs it before it connects to his face, biting the pulse point of her wrist. She yelps, but his pace quickens and eventually she lays a hand on his shoulder, her head tilting back as a sure sign of the pleasure controlling her.

Eric exhales sharply, peering down between their bodies and licking his lips in a frenzy of need. "You're going to stay at Dauntless," he commands, having finally made his mind up. She doesn't say anything nor seems coherent when he tries to make eye contact. "I'm going to allow you to go home…" He pushes her leg wider and she moans underneath him, small hands tugging on his neck, nails biting into the skin. "…and I'll come and get you tonight." Sarah's lips are parted and he can't help but graze the bottom one with his teeth, her tongue responding by jutting into his mouth where he sucks on it. "You hear me?"

But she's gone. Her forehead touches his and she whimpers repeatedly, curling her fingers into the material of his jacket, her walls constricting around him as she spasms underneath him.

Reluctantly following suit, he murmurs her name…

* * *

Sarah had to wear her clothes from yesterday – without underwear. But that is only until she got home. She waits impatiently for the elevator to land on the level of the pit where she knows Mary would be waiting because Eric has told her so.

The doors slide open and she spots her instantly, looking around herself anxiously and cowering away from a group of Dauntless who passes her.

"Mary!" She shouts, jogging the little distance between them, and the sweet eyes of her sister latch onto her, a smile spreading across her face. She opens her arms and they almost collide. "I've missed you."

"I can tell!"

"Are you okay?" Sarah pulls back, pushing a stray hair out of her face and bringing her back in just to feel the warmth of her embrace again.

"I'm fine," she chuckles. "It wasn't as bad as I thought."

"Oh." Sarah frowns. "You ready to go?" Mary nods and they exit past the guards and follow the usual short path back to Abnegation. "I got you this…" Sarah digs around in her grey bag, pulling out an apple, one for her and one for Mary. Surely Eric wouldn't miss two apples…

As they both buff and then bite into their apples they smile at each other briefly. "So….you're staying at Eric's?"

"Only for a while. He says it's safer." She takes another bite and peers off between the large buildings, knowing full well that she's avoiding going into details. Mary isn't stupid.

Between the alleyways and sparse roads are six-foot metal grated fences separating them from the abandoned parts of the city. Every once in a while, a truck of Dauntless would pass loudly and they would have to step to the side and the guards would stare them down. Eric was right, he has been busy. "What's been going on?" Sarah breaks their silence.

"Protests from factionless. They were outside Abnegation a few days ago and Dauntless turned up. We had to stay inside till they were dispersed and school was cancelled. But nothing other than that. Oh, and Father is on the council now!" Mary smiles.

"That's…great. How has-"

"Mother been? Hmm, well, let's just say she's been…difficult. I don't know whether it's her leg or something that's now frustrating her, but nothing gets passed her without her knowing, and she's flipping awful," she giggles. "But Lizzie stepped up and has been taking care of Thomas, although you can imagine she doesn't stop complaining."

Sarah's heart sinks a little as they get nearer to the grey square buildings they called home. "Mary, I have to tell you something. Our parents caught-"

"I know." But Mary focusses up ahead. "It's okay. It's really none of our business."

"Thank you."

Mary looks at her now, her brows furrowed, and touches her hand briefly. "For what?"

"For being the only one not judging me."

"I think you're incredible, Sarah. I really do. After today…" She grimaces. "I see that this hasn't been easy for you. At first, I admit, that I thought everything was perfect in your life and I was jealous. I knew how good it would be to have your initiation within Dauntless and perhaps the options for your job aspects would be endless. But it's not like that… I know that now. Abnegation are selfless. And what you did without a second thought for the family is a prime example of that."

"When did you get so smart?" Sarah nudges her arm with her elbow.

Mary laughs and they stop on the gravel path outside the house. "Maybe it's because I have a great role model."

Though it is a compliment, Sarah feels heavy. Not everything she has done is agreeable. And she certainly doesn't want her closest sister having to look up to some of her actions or take anything from her. "The things I've done-"

"Thomas will be excited to see you," Mary cuts her off purposefully. "And I'm sure Lizzie is the same although-" She stops because of the yelling inside the house and they share a look between each other. "Lizzie…" Mary rushes forwards, swinging the door open.

"I'm not a babysitter!" Lizzie shouts towards the propped mother at the table. Thomas is crying in the corner and Sarah rushes over, scooping him up.

"Sarah?" Her mother questions, but she ignores her completely, trying to calm the distraught boy. "How was Dauntless, Mary?"

"What's going on?" Sarah speaks for them all and over the top of Thomas's howling. She didn't really care anymore if her mother sniped her, or called her out or even completely ignored her for that fact.

"Oh, it's just Elizabeth being Elizabeth."

"It's not fair! Both of you are at Dauntless." Lizzie points to them. "And I'm now the official babysitter?!"

"It's just one day." Mary says softly.

"I want to go to Dauntless too."

"You're fourteen, you're being stupid. Not until you're older…" Sarah says while stroking Thomas's head and pulling up his jumper.

"What does he see in you anyway?" Lizzie begins and Mary tries to shut her up by condescendingly calling her name. "Look at you. Walking back in here like you have a right to and trying to belittle me for not wanting to be a mother hen at fourteen. Do you know my friends don't have to do this?"

"Lizzie stop, you're upsetting Thomas." Mary tries.

"Whatever…" She puts her hand up flippantly. "I have girls at school telling me things about my family. They laugh-"

"It's just rumours, " Mary says quickly.

"Oh _really_? Our parents caught her. She _is_ a slut. You're only defending her because you feel sorry for her." Mary gasps, looking at Sarah and shaking her head to the false words.

"It's okay," she says, still tending to Thomas. "She can think what she likes. Whatever I say isn't going to change her opinion."

"I knew this was going to happen," their mother exhales. It grates on Sarah and she feels herself tensing up even just by the sound of her breathing. Her patience with the woman has gone below zero. She'd been faced off with people far more threatening than her and she'll be damned if she lets this judgemental woman get away with it any longer. "Prime example of your reckless behavior."

"What the HELL are you talking about?" The room drops to silence. "Mary take Thomas upstairs." In passing, Mary nods at her. Until they are out of sight, Sarah waits, then approaches the table slowly. "Lizzie, sit down please." With the serious look on her face the young girl does what she's told. "You wanted me to do this. Now you _don't_?" she says incredulously.

"I wanted you to keep it a secret. The entire world apparently knows."

"That's not my doing."

"No? Then whose is it?" Her mother tilts her head.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Sarah leans forward on the table, a shocked sneer on her face as she shakes her head. Her mother was cruelly deluded. "This isn't about my behavior at all. Not that you have a say anymore and not that I have a sense of pride to really be bothered. You're jealous that I took your job. At first, you thought that he would have his fun with me and then get rid of me just so it could benefit you. But you know now that I'm staying on, and that's why you hate me. Anyone would think you have a crush on him."

"How dare you!"

"No!" Sarah shouts for the first time. "How dare _you_!" She hits the side of her fist on the table and surprizingly the sound echoes. "I used to think Eric was far worse than being at home with you, but now I know how deceiving you can really be. I seriously can't stand to be in a room with you. If it weren't for my brother and sisters, I would happily never set foot inside this house again." Sarah looks at Lizzie. "So now you know who we should all really blame - If we're playing the blame game. It's that disgrace of a woman in front of you. Thanks _Mother_ , for showing me the lesser of two evils." Standing up, she wraps her cardigan round her. "Every Sunday I'll be visiting my siblings, not you. And the fighting stops here. Once your leg is better, you will look after Thomas, and Lizzie can do what she likes. After all…" She shrugs. "You don't have a job anymore."

Sarah leaves the table, heading upstairs to find Mary, and her mother peers at Lizzie, a little too relaxed after the eldest daughters outburst. "We shall see. A daughter always needs her mother."

* * *

A/N

Thank you for all your fantastic reviews and messages! I hope you enjoy this one ;)


	11. Chapter 11

The atmosphere at the table is torturous. No one has said anything to each other, just shared looks every now and again. Sarah actually finds herself glancing towards the front door, longing for an escape in the form of certain Dauntless Leader.

They are waiting patiently until John enters. He stares at her in disgust but sits quietly with a long sigh and they begin serving the food. Sarah wishes that she had taken another place at the table, away from him. They are too close and sometimes she could feel his eyes burning holes into her, especially towards her neck.

"Isn't this nice…," Her Mother says suddenly. Everybody looks up at her but she keeps her eyes on her food. "The family back together." Mary catches Sarah's attention and shakes her head, pleading with her not to react. "We going to do this every Sunday now? Is this now a thing?" Nobody answers. "Hmm?" she keeps probing. "Sarah? You are the one who set this new thing, after all. An arranged family meal _only_ on Sundays to see _only_ your siblings."

John wasn't here for their earlier argument and now he directs a sharp glare at Sarah.

"There is no need to go over this again," Sarah says quietly. "Let's just enjoy-"

"No, I want to hear." John interrupts her. "Is this true? That means you're not coming back during the week anymore?"

"It's not safe to be moving between here and Dauntless," she explains quickly, "especially with these protests."

"Are you in a relationship with Mr. Coulter?" her father asks in a cold voice, completely ignoring her explanation.

Sarah blushes instantly. "No, of course I'm not. That's ridiculous."

"How so? This has gone farther than just a job to the point where you are staying at Dauntless. What other interest would he have if you weren't benefitting him with a relationship?"

"Hold on a second, what type of relationship are we talking about here?" Even though she's defensive she also feels trapped. She's a terrible liar.

"Look at your neck."

"It's none of your business. I'm sworn to confidentiality."

John just laughs at her.

"We all see it, dear, we're not blind." Her mother always has to have her piece. "At least you did something right-"

But she is saved by a loud knock on the front door, and John glares at her one last time before standing to open the door. Eric fills the frame but he's looking half-way down, out towards the street. When he sees John, he peers behind him.

"Sarah," is all he says, a command and an acknowledgment in one.

She stands briskly, happy to get away from all the attention, and waves lightly to her siblings all staring at her.

"Thank you again, Mr. Coulter; for your swaying hand on my position in the council," John says proudly.

"Yeah, whatever." Eric watches her approach and she can't help but swallow thickly under a man with such influential power by just the way he holds himself. "You got your stuff?"

She points beside the door and his head drops before he bends and picks it up. Sarah throws on her long jacket and watches Eric nod at John before he hurries her along by putting a hand between her shoulder blades. The truck is directly outside, the tires on the small patch of their pathway to the house leaving a huge tire-marked hole.

She pulls herself up into the truck and finds her seatbelt, wrapping it around her. Eric starts the engine and drives off silently. The sound of the rumbling distorts the air around them and she forces herself to look at him. "Thanks."

Eric seems lost in thought when he glances at her, his eyes curious as they roam over her, forcing her to explain. "I don't like going home anymore. Nothing is the same." When he doesn't reply, she gazes out the window.

"That Mother of yours is a real piece of work."

A chill swirls in the cab and Sarah pulls up her hood, wrapping her arms around herself. "I didn't think you noticed."

"I notice everything," Eric smirks to himself, his eyes sliding across to her. "Like two apples missing."

Sarah bites her lip and tilts her head down, trying not to show her smile.

* * *

Eric wakes before his alarm. His body is used to the routine. But what he's not used to is a warm body pressed up against him. All the times they've shared a bed he always finds Sarah curled into his back, her nose poking between his shoulder blades. Most of the time he moves away or pushes her and she'll sleepily roll away. He knows she doesn't have a clue of her actions, even before they started sleeping together, and he isn't going to lie and say he doesn't enjoy it. In fact, half the time, he forgets she is there.

Eric likes his own personal space, and any form a physical closeness is not needed. He also knows being psychologically close to her is impossible; they are too far and between in terms of morals and personality. What he does like is control. And control he has. Over her physically, and now, it also appears mentally.

He throws a hand out behind him, pushing her thigh to get her to move, and she does, as expected. It gives him enough space to roll onto his back, and he looks at her, her side rising and falling while she sleeps.

What he could say, is that he likes the fact that she is quiet. She keeps to herself and is just as comfortable as him to sit in silence. Silence is a sacred treasure and he can't afford disturbances caused by some deviant woman. Also, her ability to control actions and thoughts hasn't gone unnoticed, although he could bend them to his will if he really wants to.

It's on that delicious thought he rolls to his side and presses his chest to her back, running a warm hand across her ribcage, dipping down into the small of her waist.

He also likes it when she moans his name…

* * *

Lizzie hates the way her faction cower from the fences. They haven't been there that long ago and now it is just stupid that there seems to be this new rule of boundaries and they literally can't cross that line. Before that line, this area had been part of Abnegation.

"Thomas, hurry up." She yanks his arm a little harder gathering the young boy's attention and he picks up his speed a little.

The same thing every day. All her responsibility now. What made her sisters so special?

"Oi!"

Lizzie throws a look to the voice beyond the fence, still walking hurriedly. The young man, no older then eighteen-nineteen she guesses, jogs along the other side to her. "Hey! Slow down."

She keeps her face guarded. Speaking to the factionless could get you in trouble and she doesn't like the group of young people he just strolled away from who are staring at her.

"What?"

"I knew it. I knew you were different." He smiles, accentuating his green eyes and Lizzie frowns at him. She scans over his black but tattered clothing. He was a bit dusty and the jacket he wears is worn but he doesn't look dirty like some of the older factionless.

"What makes you think you can speak to me?" She turns to face him and Thomas hides behind her.

"The fact that you look like you'd rather be anywhere else than here right now, made me speak to you? Were you talking to yourself?" He's still smiling.

She looks both ways before stepping closer. "I wasn't speaking to myself, I was…thinking out loud." Has she really been mumbling on the way to school? "I'm not allowed to speak to you. Good day."

She begins marching off and he keeps pace.

"We're all human here."

"Apparently you're not. You're just… dangerous vermin."

"Ouch! That hurt, little red." She halts mid-step, annoyed that her fiery hair has come into the conversation. "Careful…these fences are nothing more than a deterrent. We could pass through them if we really want to?" His eyebrows rise at her. "Which leads to a pretty good question. Because, are we fenced out, or are you fenced in? Who is really in control here?"

"Eric Coulter. And if you're not careful, I'll tell him." The guy is right, though. It is pretty much just a small barrier and anyone with a brain could get through. Her stomach flutters at the thought of it, suddenly feeling unsafe.

"The man himself? Get out of here! Like he'd listen to you." His face gets all smug and if it weren't for the fence, she'd probably slap him.

"Maybe not me, but to my sister he would. So I'd be careful if I was you." Crossing her arms, she gives him her most sinister glare.

"You're sister… and the Dauntless Leader." He bursts out laughing. "You're lying."

"She works for him. She stays at Dauntless." Suddenly realizing she's said too much, she fumbles for words then begins walking again.

"I used to be Dauntless. I was too good and they chucked me out. But I'm glad. I'm free now. No ties. No responsibilities. He your kid?"

"Unless I was six when I gave birth, no. He's my brother." She looks down at Thomas who looks frightened. A sharp laugh makes her squinting back to the factionless man.

"It's a shame. Are you just a glorified babysitter then? What a waste." He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and lets it hang out of his mouth before he lights it. "I'm Edgar."

"I'm not a baby…," Thomas mumbles.

Peering up to the street, she sighs. "I'm Lizzie. And look, the Dauntless are coming so you better go."

"Good shout. Thanks for the heads up." He whistles to the group and they begin to disperse. "See you around, Lizzie," he winks. Instead of replying she just nods and hums, yanking her brother beside her. She gives Edgar one last look over her shoulder as she walks away.

* * *

Sarah listens intently to the two Erudite men as she stands beside Eric in his office. They are the same people as before, and she guesses they are close associates of Jeanine by just the way they held themselves.

"She isn't happy with the numbers." One clean-cut Erudite representative says with a smooth voice. He looks much younger than the other but in a more authoritative position from his clothes and because he speaks first. He attempts to push his glasses further up his nose before he talks again. "You've given Amity and Abnegation a far higher percentage of patrols and soldiers than Candor or Erudite. She wants to voice her concern that these are not the main factions we should be focussing on."

Eric sighs. "Right, so it's like Amity doesn't feed the rest of us," he says dryly.

"Her concern lies more in the concentrated security of Abnegation. There is no overall-"

Eric raises his hand in a sharp gesture, cutting him off. "Don't finish that sentence. Abnegation have personnel within Dauntless, so equally, they are of importance. If I let their safety slide they will uphold no allegiance or cooperation." Eric looks up at Sarah briefly and she makes sure to focus on the men while steadily typing out both sides of their arguments.

The young man stutters, sharing something unspoken with the other next to him. She almost wants to smile as she has the feeling they aren't going to get any slack with Eric today. "She's calculated a far more efficient schedule." He eventually finds his tongue.

"Oh, has she?" Eric feigns a smile at them, leaning forward to take the papers that are offered from shaking hands.

"She concludes that if there isn't a settlement that benefits Erudite we'll have to-"

"Have to what? " Eric interferes again. "Because all I see is that we are actually doing _you_ a favor here, not the other way around. Erudite has their own security. If anything it should be Candor representatives sitting here." Eric scans over the papers. "What is this shit?"

His question brings Sarah's attention to the multiple sheets. There's various equations, times and different colored marked circles with numbers. It's a rough draft of the basic layout of where the factions are, and she finds herself fascinated seeing it at this scale. The fascination disappears when she spots a significant amount of red circled guesstimates surrounding Abnegation and along the road towards Amity. Her chest restricts painfully. That is her home. Her family.

"Is that the numbers for the factionless?" Sarah blurts out, almost touching his shoulder as she leans down, the shock making her voice her worries.

"Yes, Sarah," Eric says condescendingly. He looks at the two men. "Get out my office. I'll decide what action Dauntless will take, not Jeanine. And remind yourselves of that before you even think about making another reappearance. Next time I might not be so willing to waste my time."

The Erudite men's eyes widen and the one who spoke stands haughtily, far more offended then the other and readjusts his glasses again. "We'll be in touch." Their nifty blue long cloaks swirl as they hurriedly leave the room.

"Don't bother," Eric calls calmly after them, but Sarah's mind is running a mile a minute. "Your dysfunctional family is safe, Stiff. Stop fretting."

"I'm not." But her eyes linger on the paper and Eric raises an eyebrow at her. "Why are they nearer to Abnegation than anywhere else?"

"They are less inclined to defend themselves and stupid enough to still feed the factionless who are like stray cats nesting near the nearest source of food," he snorts. "Jeanine believes Abnegation are to blame for their own predicament."

Sarah glances down to the floor. "Yeah, I kind of got that impression."

"Are they?" he asks, and she squints confusingly at him. But he just waits, amusement pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"We have only ever been charity for them. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"So they are to blame?" Eric twists in his chair playfully.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to see that whatever happens to Abnegation are tail ends of their own actions," he explains calmly. "They've made the factionless greedy. Believing they should be inclined to resources when they are merely nothing but rodents. I want you to say that you agree that the factionless should be sanctioned away from the other factions – far away, and Abnegation berated for aiding them."

Sarah puts the electronic device on the desk and folds her hands. "There are children involved. There is plenty enough to go around. I'm sure that if we come to an agreement with them that this would end."

"So you think we should compromise?" Eric lays his hands across his stomach, leaning back in his chair. "Compromise is for the weak. Compromise is admitting we are wrong."

She sees that he's just trying to make her uncomfortable and she breaks away from his gaze, shifting uneasily. "What do I know?"

"Clearly nothing."

"Then…then why ask me?"

Eric stands, tilts his chin down and pouts. "Perhaps I just want you to share my goals. Who knows? Grab your stuff," he says while placing the electronic pad in her hands.

Sarah does what she's told, then opens the door for him to pass, but he stops. "Ladies first."

"Where are we going?" Her voice echoes in the corridor and Clair peers up from her work behind the desk. Her sharp look makes Sarah hurry towards the elevator.

But Eric is as casual as ever, barely acknowledging the woman. "Amity's supply is coming in. I need to make sure the supplies are right."

Once in the elevator he folds his arms across his chest and Sarah looks at her reflection in the mirror for a split second before she sees the mirrored image of his eyes watching her, and she quickly looks away.

"You're not going all Abnegation on me, are you, Stiff?" His tone sounds strangely flirty. She tries to process his mood quickly and even the slight distance between them. "You look different today? What's this?" He reaches over, playing with the collar on her neckline, then he slants back, eyeing up the pleated skirt. "I haven't seen this before."

"it's standard-"

"Issue, yeah, yeah. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the Stiff's around me…" He leans closer. "I was missing out." The elevator dings and he steps out. Sarah finally exhales.

* * *

Who she didn't want to see was Wayne. But it was inevitable.

He is already there when they arrive and Eric strolls right up to him and of course she has to follow. Wayne gives her the once over and smiles.

"What we got?" Eric asks, but he's watching the trucks pull in, some reversing up towards the warehouses.

It's cold and Sarah pulls her jacket tighter, her fingers already frozen and hovering over the pad.

"Minimal damage," Wayne says casually, his hair blown by the sharp wind that is swirling over the courtyard. "Truck three."

"We better get it fixed before we send it back," Eric say, mainly to himself, then signals to someone with a hand. "Sarah, grab the notes from Wayne." He sets off towards one of the trucks.

"Hello, Sarah." Wayne gives his best smile and she gives him a tight lipped one back. "I've written it down, just copy this." She juggles the extra device in her hands and he keeps his head towards the commotion in front of them. "You look different. Glowing." But she ignores him. "Eric's in a better mood." She looks up at him as he leers at her. "Don't play innocence with me." Her mouth opens but nothing comes out. "You're not so special anymore, are you?" He sighs, putting his hands in his pocket to face her. "See, I saw Eric the other night leaving Nina's apartment. Saturday night, I think."

Sarah ignores the stab of hurt caused by his words. "That's…great." She attempts to keep her voice uninterested.

"Just thought you'd like to know, that's all." When he turns away, she looks up to Eric commanding the trucks and an eerily shadow begins to form right before her eyes. She should've known better.

* * *

It takes most of the afternoon to organize the supplies and they leave the courtyard late, heading back towards the Pit which, for once, seems different. It's extremely busy, music blaring off the rock walls and the glass ceiling above. The bass is electrifying beneath her feet, almost curdling in her stomach. She blinks a few times, her eyes needing time to adjust to the dim lighting that is bathing everything in a blue hue.

A group encircles two people fighting ferociously, but Eric doesn't so much as glance at them. More Dauntless are dancing all around them with a few here and there chatting among themselves. To her, everyone is tall, all their recognizable features distorted by the weird lighting, the tattoos shoved in her face along with fancy hairstyles she's never noticed before. She tries to keep up with Eric, his back broad in front of her as the crowd part before him.

She really doesn't want to be here. She doesn't like the closeness and the heat thrown off the crowds or when someone would randomly bump into her. The shouting is deafening and she squeaks and grimaces a few times as she snakes her way through the crowd, holding up her hands as if showing mercy and unwillingness to touch.

Nobody notices her in the slightest, which she's thankful for. They are all too consumed with themselves and what's going on around them – or in front of them. She hopes desperately Eric will just make a quick exit, but that idea is bashed when somebody grabs him and he greets them with a slap on the shoulder.

What turns into a minute; turns into five. She stands awkwardly, completely out of place and feeling like she is an aloof attachment of Eric's, wishing for some sort of rock or stone to hide under. Through a parting in the bodies, she spots a piece of outer wall unoccupied and she quickly makes her way over to it, leaning her back against it with Eric still in view. The wall is jagged and cold but a comforting support to her fleeting nerves. At least she felt like she was out of the spotlight, away from attracting any attention to herself.

"Gray." A man tries to insult her as he passes, sipping his drink quickly with his smirk and she chomps down hard on her lip. " _Come on, Eric_." She whispers, bouncing on one foot to the other, watching the pathetic Dauntless walk away with a frown on her face. The group of men Eric's talking to look older and relaxed around him. She watches the confident way he speaks and even graces them with a smile from time to time and she has no idea what they are talking about. She's more fascinated that a change of lighting and atmosphere can control the way people felt. She doesn't find him so daunting under these circumstances, not when his face flashed with blue lighting.

The music starts to become just a thrum in her brain, and the realization hits at how different a life they lead; how she could never get used this way of life forced upon her. A woman steps on her foot with a pointed heeled shoe, the pain causing her to yelp. "Oh sorry, I didn't see you." The woman laughs, drunkenly stumbling with the guy she's with. Sarah wraps her arms around herself and tries to control the unraveling sensation within her chest. Whether it be tiredness or defeatism, maybe even a sense of betrayal, she felt like crying. Away. Alone.

Bringing her eyes back up to Eric rather than her now throbbing foot, she sees _her_ …

Nina struts up behind Eric and puts a hand on his shoulder, whispering something in his ear which he replies to, half his head turned towards the group. And somehow, Nina gets involved, saying something and they all listen.

Sarah looks down at her dress. It was the same color of the wall she'd leaned on. _Of course_ , no one really saw her. Not really. They saw just a stiff. Why would they pay any decent, intellectual attention to her at all? Her parents were right. Her Mother was right. She was now a mistress. Just a mistress.

Nina was everything Eric really needed, in more ways than one. Sarah was sure she could rebuild her life if she needed to. If she kept low, in the background – which wouldn't be hard to do if detached from Eric. She could find a life back in Abnegation if she needed to.

"Hey!" Sarah's head whips to the left at the voice.

"Stacey?"

"Hey, stiff. What are you doing? You look lost." Stacey smiles genuinely. Sarah hadn't seen much of Stacey since the first aid course, and it was extremely comforting to see her familiar face again.

"I'm just waiting for Eric." Sarah rubs her neck, gesturing to where he stood. "I think he's forgotten I'm here."

Stacey has a drink in her hand and sips it as she follows her gaze, "Nah, Eric never comes here. I'm not surprised. This is prime time for people to get their piece in. Bet he regrets it."

She just nods. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know the way back to Eric's?"

"Not that I've ever been there, but I know." She explains the route quickly from the point of the elevator and Sarah thinks she half understands it and will hopefully recognize most of the way when she does get there.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Remember to stop by some time. Anything related." She winks and Sarah finds herself frowning. Not really understanding what she meant.

"Uh, yeah…" Instead of walking through the middle of the pit, she skims along the walls, trying to avoid people and eventually making it relatively safely back to the elevator. Although she doesn't know his code, waiting outside his door seemed a better option than the insufferable atmosphere in the Pit and watching Nina cling pathetically to Eric, whispering god knows what into his ear.

Sarah takes pride in finding the apartment without getting lost and she's sure next time she would get here perfectly fine by herself. The silence of the corridor is heaven. She tilts her head back closing her eyes and breathes deeply in the scent of some type of lingering cleaning product while pushing her back up against the door. Her bones ache from standing out in the cold and she wants nothing more than to slip into bed.

"Sarah." She startles as she opens her eyes. Eric's already in front of her. "What are you doing? Why did you leave?" When he reaches out she slides away to the whitewashed wall of the corridor creating distance between them and he frowns. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm tired." His expression says he doesn't believe her, but he opens the door anyway. She wastes no time in going to the bathroom, turning on the shower and waiting for it to warm up. Stripping off, she folds her clothes next to the sink then unravels her bun, the blonde waves slinking down her back adding an unusual tickling warmth before she steps in.

Leaving her head under the flow of water and allowing it to consume her face, she sighs contently, imaging it washing away the cold and dirt from earlier… Moments later, she's surprised to find Eric stepping in after her, but he stays behind her and she concentrates on the silver taps, not daring to look at him.

"Tell me now." He demands, but his voice is quiet.

"Tell you what?" She grabs the shower gel from the hanging metal shelf and lathers it in her hands, still avoiding him.

"Don't play dumb." He skims her side and she quickly turns to face him, pulling away as much as she can in the small space they have.

"Don't… touch me." It would've sounded menacing had she not been so naked in front of him. The words weren't malicious either, they were more of a plea. He merely plucks the bottle of gel from behind her wordlessly, then washes, but she doesn't look away. Although, his eyes flick down to her body at times.

She finishes before him and steps out quickly, grabbing a towel and heading to the bedroom.

Eric's behind her, she can feel it like a weird sixth sense. She peers over her shoulder and he watches her put on her nightgown from the doorway. "Take it off."

"No."

"Sarah…" He chuckles. "Are we seriously going to play this game again?"

"This _isn't_ a game, Eric. I just want to go to bed _with_ my clothes on." But hands grab her nightshirt from the bottom and begin lifting it from behind. She may be able to tell he's there, but she never hears him approach. "Eric!" She tries to bat him away and failing to do so, she firmly grips her nightwear, but he pushes her forward and she lands face first on the bed, her arm twisted behind her. "Get off of me, Eric!"

"What? You don't want it anymore? That almost sounded threatening." His hands skim her thigh, slapping it when he gets higher to her ass. Automatically, she throws her head back, clipping his face in the process and he shoves her, standing to his full height and cupping his nose. "Fuck."

Sarah turns and scrambles on her back across the bed. "You- you deserved it!" Her eyes widen at the small drip of blood from his nose, and in her pause, he launches forwards, grabbing her ankle tightly, pulling her to him.

Pinning both her hands in one of his against her chest, he smirks. "Brave move." He wipes a thumb across the trail of blood and smudges it on her face while she thrashes her head from either side. When she stills, she blows the hair out of her face, panting as she gazes up at him. "Pretty..." He sneers, then unexpectedly kisses her roughly, too roughly that it's painful and she bites him. "Fuck you." He puts his hand round the back of her head and pushes his mouth to hers again, one she can't back out of.

"I said, no!" She brings her knee up to his abdomen and a gush of air evacuates through his mouth with a grunt. More droplets sprinkle her white nightwear and she wastes no time scrambling and falling off the other side of the bed. "I'm not … an object for you to mess with when you're bored, Eric. I know you went to Nina's… before…" She can't finish, just motions to the bed.

Eric laughs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"W-what?" Her voice shaky and momentarily dropping her guard.

"If I'd of known how jealous you get, I would've used that to my advantage earlier…Who'd of thought."

"I'm glad this is so funny for you. You've taken something I can never get back. Because I stupidly trusted you!"

"Oh, you trust me? I'm so honored." He begins walking towards her, slowly. "And if I did fuck Nina – which I didn't, that's none of your concern. What do you think happened, Sarah? I saw her and came back here and screwed you too? Wow, I do have a reputation."

"That's between you and Nina, I don't care for you or what you do. I don't want this anymore. We've had our …fun, let's just… finish it here. I don't belong in Dauntless. I just want to be forgotten, please."

"Sarah…" He purrs her name. "We've only just started. It finishes when I say it finishes, not you."

"I want to be gray!" As stupid as it sounds and probably how much it likely did confuse him; it was her earlier thoughts. She wanted to blend in, be gray like the wall she stood next to, like the woman who didn't see her. She wanted out of his eye-line. She wanted to be as invisible as she felt.

"And yet, you are so far from it." She puts a hand on his chest to stop him from getting closer. "The only thing gray about you is your clothes you try to hide behind."

"It's what I am."

"I pity you." He knocks her arm away when the strength leaves her. "Can't you see I've already tainted your _gray?_ Don't you understand? You will _never_ be able to view the world the same way you did before, it won't be enough."

"When we're done here. I'm not staying."

"Do you even know how long you have left?" She doesn't, everything has blurred together since being here and she knows her face mirrors her confusion. "You don't, but I do. From the very beginning. I know the exact days. I could tell you exact hours if you like as well?"

"Don't bother, it doesn't matter."

"Oh but it does. There is very little people I bother to acknowledge and they are the only people who I grace with my time. They never leave." Eric plays with a lock of her hair between his fingers, twirling it in front of him. "You _will not_ leave."

The force of his words make her fold in on herself and nothing but a whisper leaves her. "I have my own mind."

"Do you need me to make your mind up for you?" He speaks quietly. His already bloodied thumb traces her bottom lip and she just stares up at him. Next, he mimics the pattern of smeared blood on her cheek, pushing his body closer. Leaning in, he whispers, "I'm pretty good at it."

The moment she turns her head to decipher his intentions, he guides her towards him with his other hand cupping the side of her face. There is something exquisite she tastes on his tongue. Nothing specific but something bitter-sweet.

His hand feels strong and warm, the thought of how deadly they could truly be, provocative. His fingertips dig into her skin possessively and he alternates the movement of his mouth to stiflingly slow. She opens her mouth a little wider but he hovers, leaving their lips just lingering against each other. She tries to bring him back by grabbing his shoulder, and he nips her lip, his hot breath against her face before he swirls his tongue against hers. She can hear the shaking longing as he breathes and a rough hand travels from her hip down to her thigh.

Eric lifts her, leaving one leg loose and dragging as he pushes her backward. Her ass hits the nightstand and the lamp crashes to the floor. With the shattering sound, everything becomes a little more frantic, even an urgent groan from Eric as he pushes her to sit on the small cabinet. He pulls her nightwear over her head, dipping down and feasting on any piece of skin as she holds on to him.

Eric yanks her forward by her hips, reaching between them and thrusting inside of her quickly. She almost slaps him, but stops, splaying the fingers on the side of his face instead as he pushes deeper. The cabinet knocks against the wall each time he drove further and he looks up into her eyes and holds them.

At that moment, she didn't feel the need to be invisible anymore, nor blend into the bleakness of the world she categorized herself in. – She saw color, felt the rush of warmth flush in her body sparking an unkindled fire that had been left too long in its morbid gray ash.

She was alive.

* * *

"That's not what I…can we change the-" Sarah fumbles to correct her mistake.

"You said it." Eric cuts her off, shutting her up with a hand and taking a huge bite of the sandwich sitting in front of him. "Is your bread _moist_ , Sarah?" He asks after swallowing, his face a mixture of glee and slight exasperation.

She blushes instantly, the awkwardness of her small vocabulary now making her not as hungry.

The mess hall is just as lively as it ever was. But they sit to one side, away from most of the prying eyes. The last week had gone fairly quickly and since her self-doubt and apprehension things had gotten a little better. She knew, at this time; it was a false feeling of security. She had worked out there was only a week left of her initiation within Dauntless and after that, she didn't know what was going to happen.

However, it was now Sunday, she still had yet to see Mary and she was actually dreading their Sunday family get-together.

But at least Eric had been less intimidating, and most mornings she woke up with a wetness between her legs and his warm body pressed up against hers. He still shoved himself away when he fully woke, but that didn't stop him from laying minutes longer than he usually would or restarting what they had finished the night before.

Eric now refused her to clean up after their copulation and seemed oddly fascinated with leaving a piece of him behind, like he had to leave his mark. At first, it was uncomfortable, however, she now enjoyed the lay of claim. It was nothing a shower couldn't fix in the mornings.

"What are you thinking?"

She's pulled back to the here and now by Eric's voice and she blushes again, looking down at her half-eaten food. "I've worked out how long I have left here."

"Oh _really_? How devious of you. That's not…" His eyes travel over her shoulder and she follows his gaze. Mary begins for their table and she hears Eric sigh.

"Can I talk to you?" She asks Sarah, peering around her and twisting her hands together. "Hello, Mr. Coulter."

Sarah looks at Eric and he just shrugs so she stands, guiding Mary by her arm. The girl looks tired and frightened and when they get outside the doors she still acts as if any minute someone was about to reprimand her. "It's Lizzie." Mary's voice breaks on her sister's name.

"What about her?"

"I wanted to come sooner but I couldn't. And…our parents don't know this, but…" She's frantic with her words, squeezing her eyes closed and shaking her head.

"Mary… relax. Breathe."

"I caught her talking to some factionless three days ago when I walked with them to school. A young guy. I didn't tell our parents because I knew it would just cause hell. Well, she's missing."

"What?!"

"Since some time this morning." Mary finishes. "She'd been going on about how she was fed up with being stuck on her own with Thomas and being his 'glorified' babysitter all through the week. I didn't think anything of it. I think she's gone with them."

" _Oh my god_ …" Sarah whispers. "Do our parents know she's missing?"

"They know she bunked this morning but they think because of Thomas. I didn't tell them about the factionless. I think she's got herself involved in them. I think she's in trouble. Sarah…what if something has happened? It would be my fault. But I knew they would make it into this massive thing and I thought I was just trying to help."

"Calm down…We'll just go and get her after work. Do you remember what the factionless people looked like?"

"I think so. I'm sorry, Sarah. I should've done something, but it's Lizzie, you know. I didn't think. I'm an awful sister. I should've-"

"You did the right thing." Being in Mary's position she would most likely have done the same. "Try to concentrate on work and don't tell anyone. If anyone finds out she could be detained for it or accused of working for the factionless. Hopefully we can get her before anybody notices and before it gets dark."

"Sarah!" Eric snaps as he opens the door. "What the fuck is taking so long?" He looks at Mary's shaking form but Sarah tries distracting him with a smile and he squints questioningly at her.

"Just…women's stuff." Turning back to Mary she rubs her shoulder. "I'll see you later."

* * *

Whether Eric had been suspicious or not, he didn't say. In fact, he was busy filling in reports when she was dismissed. But he seemed to stare up at her for a long moment before saying he would come to get her later.

Mary grabs her arm, pulling her from the thoughts. Sarah was walking at an incredible pace trying to get closer to Abnegation and Mary was panting behind her, trying to keep up. "Slow down!"

"The more time we waste, the more chance she'll be in trouble. Where did you see her?"

"Walking back with Thomas from school. By the train tracks." Mary whispers as a large Dauntless truck passes by.

"Ya got any food?" A croaking voice barks from the fence next to them and Mary shrieks, stumbling behind her back and gripping her jacket.

"Sorry. No, we don't." Sarah says to the old woman. Her dirty hands are entwined through the diagonal shapes of the fence, holding them way above her head, almost as if to support her. The arms of the woman look like they could snap at any minute and her hair is greased to her head along with her tattered clothes. The factionless were bad before, and she'd seen them when they would deliver care packages, but this woman was far the worse than what she remembered.

"Get away from the fence!" An authoritative voice blasts through the speakers of the truck that had stopped further up the road.

"Let's get out of here." Sarah pulls Mary and the truck reverses. The beeping from the reverse warning halts as they stop and stare down the two Abnegation women.

"Get home and stay there!"

"Yes, sorry." Sarah apologizes even though her voice is quiet and drags Mary behind her. The fence by the train tracks stood elevated over one part of Abnegation before it swerved off into a more abandoned part of the city. They still had yet to get there but the distraction of the woman and the truck of Dauntless focussing on her, it was the perfect moment. "Now, Mary."

"I can't climb that." Mary refuses and Sarah sighs, looking at the height of the fence. She was right. Gnawing her lip she travels along and spots the side panel of part of the fence resting up along the side of an old Abnegation house that had been long abandoned. It's not entirely lined up with the building and there's a minute gap. Though the fence was mainly a deterrent it wasn't particularly secure. "We can squeeze through." Sarah begins discarding her jacket, folding it and packing in her bag before pushing into to one side out of view. "This is our chance."

"This…this is a bad idea."

"Would you rather we tried and failed or not bothered at all and something happens?" Sarah's already pushing her leg through the gap. With her weight, it moves ever so slightly and she slips through, falling to the ground on the other side with a loud thud.

"Sarah!" Mary whisper-shouts, grabbing onto the fence and looking down, but she stands up patting herself and looking at the hole in her stockings.

"I'm fine. Come on." Mary's a little more graceful and slower and she hisses as the wall scrapes her back as she passes through. Sarah thanks the genes in their family for being small bodily builds. Once through, she grabs her arm and they jog away towards the train tracks.

"They could be long gone now."

"No. They are near Abnegation; I've seen the maps. If you say it was near the tracks, I believe they would still be there, there's a camp of factionless not far."

What should have been half an hour of wandering, turns into an hour and the sun begins setting. It appears darker with the rails above their heads and the larger buildings in the distance creating shadows as they wander beneath the train lines. "Sarah, our parents will be looking for us."

"We're not going back without her." She tries to sound determined but is thrown off by the daunting struts of the train tracks either side of them and the expanse of it above their heads. There's a smell of burning in the air which she put down to the factionless trying to keep themselves warm and there were obvious signs of people occupying the shelter the tracks gave.

"She's not here!" Mary stops, throwing her hands into her hair. They had checked the surrounding area, the entire area underneath of the tracks and even kept a close eye on groups of factionless nearby looking for Lizzie's signature red hair. Mary was right, she was nowhere to be seen.

"God damn it!" Sarah shouts, finally stopping. She leans up against one of the metal struts and rubs at her forehead. "I thought we could find her. I really thought we could." The first tear seeps from her eye and it angers her. She was cold, tired and fed up being constantly mocked with bereft situations she had no control over. It made her become angry thinking of Lizzie and how stupid the girl was, and what made it worse is there was nothing she could do about it.

"What do we do?" Mary asks, sliding up next to her and copying her.

"We report it." She wipes at her face. "It's messed up. Does Lizzie even know what she's done?"

A glittering orange dot flutters down in front of them. As it hits the ground the sparks of the cigarette bounce around it and they both look up at the same time. Sarah runs out first, standing back and staring up at the tracks above them.

"No." Mary shakes her head at Sarah. "We're not going up there."

"Stay here then. Keep an eye out." Sarah wasn't brave or physically strong, but she had to do this, she had to know.

She grips the rusting strut, putting her foot into the zig-zag pattern that ran up and down each leg and pulls herself up. Halfway up, she makes the mistake of looking down at Mary and feels queasy, so determinedly puts her head up and climbs higher until she eventually hits the top. It takes all her upper arm strength to pull herself onto her stomach and get a leg up, albeit ungracefully. Her hair is a mess, her body sweaty but she peers down to Mary one last time, her body swaying at the height and wondering how the hell she was going to get back down.

Gazing out into the distance with the low-light of the sun setting, she sees a different type of light. More specifically headlights, and a few of them. She points it out to Mary but concentrates back on finding Lizzie.

Further ahead is a group of people and she can see a small girl. But suddenly the tracks begin vibrating and rumbling underneath her and she stands right on the edge of the small metal walkway that graced either side of the structure. The train thunders past, her clothes swirling and forcing more of her hair from her bun. She almost loses balance at one point, suddenly finding her feet and shields her face from the wind.

When the train is gone, she realizes the group of people have stopped and they are looking at her.

"Lizzie!" She shouts anyway, squinting as if it could help her see better and taking a good a guess as any that the small girl just had to be her. She hoped. Prayed.

"Sarah?!" Finally, that stubborn voice she was so used to replies back to her and she sighs in relief, walking on jellified legs to get closer. "What are you doing here? Go home!"

"Yeah, stiff! She doesn't want to be Abnegation anymore." A male voice echoes and someone laughs.

"Lizzie, come home! It's not too late. You don't want to do this!" She keeps walking. "I didn't know how bad you truly felt. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you."

"Sarah!"

She wobbles when she hears Eric's voice behind her, her hands shooting out either side to steady herself. She briefly acknowledges him and he looks utterly furious. " _What are you doing here_?" She says to herself quietly. Ignoring him she turns back to Lizzie. "Lizzie! Come on! Let's go home." But to her dismay, one of the people Lizzie is standing with puts an arm around her, talking between themselves and she can't hear what they are saying. "Liz-" She scares as two powerful hands land on her shoulder and Eric pushes her behind him, keeping a hold on her forearm.

"Lizzie. Come back now!" Eric yells, snarling under his breath at how stupid she was. "They've coaxed you with lies. Being factionless is not a place for the likes of you. You're Dauntless. I know." He looks back at Sarah who staring up at him bewildered. "You won't be able to be Dauntless if you don't come back _now_. This is your last chance."

The vibrations begin under their feet again and Eric grips Sarah's arm tighter. But she notices his other hand lingers over the holster of his gun on his hip. She can't make out Eric's true intentions. "There's a train coming." Is all she manages to croak out, peering behind her. "Eric…"

The group of factionless cross the track, still walking away, but Lizzie stops, her silhouette appearing to pull away from the guy with his arm over her. To Sarah, they looked like a bunch of shadows. She couldn't really make out specific differences between them apart from Lizzie. They begin arguing, the males voice louder and she can't hear exactly what they are saying. As the train approaches, it's headlights pierce a light onto Lizzie pulling back her arm harshly and losing balance. She topples over with a loud shriek curdling into the air. The small girl falls back on the track and Sarah naturally moves towards her but Eric blocks her with his body.

"Fuck." Eric breathes, then starts to sprint forward, much faster than Sarah can on hindered, fearful legs. She can only concentrate on Lizzie's form on the track, her body flipping onto its front and she's crying as she crawls, saying something Sarah can't hear over the noise of the train. Eric is much further ahead now and only her breath shudders in her chest, her feet clumping against the metal walkway as a rising of urgency floods her body.

"Eric, the train!" She calls out ahead of her, trying to swallow her fear.

The clacking from the wheels on the track can be heard behind. How close, she had no idea. She couldn't bring herself to look… But Eric does.

He abruptly comes to a stop and she almost runs into him. He spins her from the direction of Lizzie's form on the track, pulling her tighter and gripping the back of her head as the train sails past them, keeping her restrictively tight to his chest. The wind hits them like a wall, and Eric juts his chin beside her face. "Cover your ears." Someone's shriek pierces the air which she can only imagine as Mary and she puts her palms fiercely against her ears, barely being able to breathe, beginning to sob uncontrollably, but Eric keeps his eyes in front of him.

Eric's body braces for a fraction of a second…

Finally, he speaks, disturbing the buzzing in her head and throbbing of her heart, knowing truly, but hoping earnestly. "I'm sorry." He says firmly, just loud enough next to her face for her to catch it.

"No! No! No! No!" She fights his grasp frantically but he doesn't let go, his body solid and unmoving. The noise of the train diminishes as it continues to its destination leaving a leering silence and she can finally hear Mary howling from below as reality comes to. Eric walks backwards with her and she tries to turn. "My sister!" Her voice breaks. But he snatches her head in both hands and looks deeply into her eyes. " _Don't_ turn around." But his eyes are softer than usual, a sense of concern. And they say what he doesn't have to.

"MY SISTER! My sister! My sis-" She falls into his arms weeping and floppy, and he slowly sways her from side to side, letting her cry. "I couldn't help her… it should've been me. Take me. Take me instead."

Eric speaks into his radio situated on his wrist. "Wipe them out."

* * *

A/N

Thanks for all your great support and messages! Very much appreciated and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Hit me up here or on Tumblr if you need me. I'm about somewhere ;)


	12. Chapter 12

The Dauntless medic shines a light into each of Sarah's eyes, putting up a finger and making her follow it while the cuff of the blood pressure monitor deflates. The woman rips away the Velcro and stands up straight, turning towards Eric. "She's fine. It's just shock." She gives Sarah one more woeful look in her space blanket perched on the tail-end of the Dauntless truck. Gathering her instruments, she makes a quick exit, leaving Eric and Sarah on their own.

"You should've told me."

Sarah just stares off, briefly looking up at the tracks where lights and Dauntless are no doubt scouring the scene and the aftermath, then to Mary in another truck sitting lifelessly with the same Medic hovering over her.

"Sarah." He snaps, and finally, her eyes fall on him, but they are blank and incredibly bleak to their usual alertness. He gives her the once over before stepping a little closer. She doesn't move away. Barely moves at all. "Let's get something straight. Because I already know what you're thinking. This isn't your fault."

"I should've been there. I should've done more." Her voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

"You can't save everybody."

"But I can try!" Her voice breaks and she rubs at her eyes. "I didn't try. I didn't even know. I should've been able to save my own sister!"

Eric crouches in front of her. "Listen. You did try. You went against the rules. You found your sister. She made her choice. This is why the factionless don't belong in our world. This is why I continuously make a conscious effort to get rid of them. They taint the innocent. Play on it. And we are left to pick up the pieces. Do you agree with me now?" His voice is quiet but smooth and he puts a hand on her knee. "What have I said from the beginning? They are just rodents. Abnegation should have no hand in continuing to try and save them. They had the option to be saved in the beginning and they failed. There is no place for them here."

"I-I don't know." She scrunches up her nose in confusion and confliction with her own thoughts, habitually looking anywhere but him and it frustrates the hell out of him. "I don't know what to think."

"I just want you to agree with me. Do you agree?" She searches his face to see if there was any underlying meaning but can't find any. "It's not a hard question. Considering what has just happened to your sister I'm surprised you are even hesitating."

"There are children-"

"Children who grow up to be like the group who swayed your sister and got her killed. Murderers."

Sarah finally realizes with a blow to the stomach at exactly what Eric has done this evening. She hadn't had time to remember much after the train had passed and bought Lizzie's young life to a quick end. _Wipe them out_ …

Her hand goes to her mouth and she begins to hyperventilate. "You've killed them all, haven't you?" He can't reply because she stands, her stomach curdling and she throws up beside the vehicle, holding onto the door for support.

Large hands gather her hair and hold it as she heaves again. "They have to know the repercussions of their actions. This can not, and will not happen again." She finally stops gagging and lifts her head, feeling faint and wiping her mouth. "Let me protect you, Sarah. It's my job. But I can't do that if you're against me."

Eric stands over a head taller than her and swipes a thumb across her cheek as he tilts her face from side to side, checking for any weary sign of damage. Her skin is pale, eyes dark, but other than that he appears satisfied with her overall appearance.

"I'm not against you, Eric. But-"

"Even in your own grief, you still can't see. Are you Abnegation that brainwashed you can't even give into simple human desires? What if you saw the guy who killed your sister again? What would you do?"

"I'd walk away…" She bites her lip and bows her head a fraction in his hand, trying to escape his intensity.

"Bullshit." He sneers the word in her face causing her to flinch. "He fucking let your sister fall and he could've saved her but he didn't because he's a coward. He let your sister die."

"I'd walk away." She repeats trying to turn away from him but he grips harder. "I'd walk away. I'd walk away! I'd walk-" Her words are frantic and Eric shakes her by the tops of her arms, her space blanket fluttering to the floor. She yelps a little and he begins dragging her with him, her feet tripping over the uneven and cracked concrete.

"We'll see." His pace is quick and purposeful, waving off the Dauntless soldiers that try to speak to him. Dragging her down the side of the buildings which are on the cuff between being past-Abnegation and no-mans, he stops, shoving her forward towards three Dauntless and a guy kneeling on the floor. They part out of the way and walk behind Eric, leaving her staring down at the bloodied factionless guy.

"What is this?" She shudders, stepping backward but straight into Eric's chest.

"Meet Edgar," Eric whispers into the back of her neck. Next, he pushes her arms forwards and cold metal is placed in her palm. A gun. "He killed your sister."

Edgar's eyes are both dark with swelling bruises and a crooked nose where he'd been beaten. His whole body is trembling but he keeps quiet, staring up at her as Eric pushes her forwards a few steps. "He left her to die."

"I didn't!" Edgar finally realizes what is happening and tries to protest. "She wanted to come and she just fell. She tripped. It was an accident, man. Please!"

"Shut up!" Eric barks at him. Pushing up her arm, he holds her steady with the gun pointed towards Edgar. He pushes her finger over the trigger and cages her from trying to escape with his arms. "He's alive and your sister Is dead."

"I-I, this isn't-"

"He left her. He coaxed her out of Abnegation and got her killed. He's a murderer. He deserves to die. Look at him, he's riddled with guilt." Eric's voice is alluring, his mouth somewhere close to the crook of her neck and his thumb caresses the back of her hand. "Lizzie would want you to shoot him." She's completely shrouded by him. His smell. His warmth. Presence. Cocooned by his body and consumed with equally menacing thoughts that he's planting.

"She wouldn't-"

"She wanted to be Dauntless. She would've shot him." His left-hand travels up her arm, then slides down her body, holding her hip, "That guilt that is hurting you right now is because of him," Now his mouth is actually on her neck as he talks, lightly tracing his lips up to the back of her ear. "Imagine the release."

"I can't do this. Don't make me-"

"You can." He readjusts the nozzle, getting a better aim.

"Please!" Edgar calls, holding his hands together almost in prayer. Begging her.

"Eric-"

"I'm right here. Pull the trigger. End it. End it, Sarah." She closes her eyes under the pressure. "Now pull the trigger. Pull it."

"I don't-" His fingers dig into her skin.

"Now…"

With a sharp breath, she pulls the trigger. But the sound she was expecting doesn't happen. It just clicks.

"Oh thank god…" Edgar hangs his head, almost slumping onto the floor and Sarah's turns in disbelief to look at Eric.

"Good girl." His tone is decisively pleased and his eyes flick around her face alight with utter glee.

"But you – I didn't. Why-" Tears streak down her face and he cups either side, making her focus on him. She's completely shuddering and weak and doesn't protest.

"Shh. It's okay. I knew you could do it."

She pushes his hands away, taking a step back. "You were…testing me?"

"I needed to prove my point. I think it's perfectly clear now." Eric signals something and the Dauntless soldiers come back, grabbing Edgar underneath each arm and hauling him quickly from the alleyway.

"What point?" He doesn't reply, seemingly distracted watching them drag the factionless man towards a truck. "…You _asshole_." The words spat with complete venom as she points the gun at him. She has never openly sworn so viciously at someone before in her life.

"You going to fucking shoot me? You know it isn't loaded." He mocks, holding his hands up in fake mercy.

It clicks as her finger squeezes the trigger. She pulls it again and again until he grabs the gun and spins her till she's trapped with him standing behind her with an arm twisted so she can't move. "You're a good girl, Sarah. You're my girl. It was about time you felt the weight of a gun in your hand. Got the feeling of what it's like to hold life or death in your grasp… Like I'd let you shoot him…" He scoffs as her small whimpers begin to quieten and he sways her a little, speaking into her hair. "…it would've destroyed you after. You forget how well I truly know you. You needed an outlet. You needed to know for the future that if you ever did see the man who killed your sister; you needed to know that you still had a side of you that wanted him dead. And that's why you should _never_ lie to me. So don't give me your Abnegation bullshit and say that you would walk away."

"I wish it was me." She whispers hauntingly, letting him sway her, giving up her fight. "It should have been me."

"No." Is his only response.

"My family... They're not safe… I just want my little sister back. I want her back, Eric! _Oh god_ …" She pants heavily, grabbing at her chest as if it's about to peel open there and then in the damp, shadowed alleyway. "I'll never see her face…Her voice…"

"Sarah… I promise I will do everything to keep you and your family safe. You have just got to let me." There's a long silence, just the sound of his breath behind her and her whimpers of heartache. "Let me in." And slowly, she nods, turning gently and he allows her.

"You promise?"

"You have my word." She bites her lip unsurely, looking at him while under his unwavering stare as if to ask for permission. She pushes her arms through his, pulling him closer and resting her head on his chest against the cold, stiff material of his jacket.

"Can you just… _hold me_ …like this?" She pleads. But he already is…

* * *

When they arrive outside their parents' home; Sarah and Mary hand in hand while they sit in the cab of the truck, there is already a Dauntless vehicle outside their house.

Eric opens his door and slips down from the cab, helping each of the girls out of his side before leading them up to the house. A Dauntless soldier meets Eric half-way up the path and he turns, his eyes catching Sarah's, "I'll wait outside."

Her Mother's howling is already audible and Mary breaks down, cupping her face and leaning into Sarah's shoulder.

Their father, John, looks up first as they enter. His eyes red raw and cheeks flushed as he holds his arms over their Mother weeping at the table with her leg propped up.

"Tell me it isn't true…" He asks, the words searing from his throat and obvious grief. Mary takes a seat at the far end. Sarah just stands, her eyes falling to the floor. "Why didn't you tell us?" His head swivels to Mary and her lip trembles and she shakes her head. "Why, Mary? Say something. Say. Something." He makes a move towards her and Sarah steps forwards.

"We thought we could get her back. We tried."

"You stupid girls. You stupid irresponsible girls!" John grabs Mary's collar, yanking her up and she cries out as he drags her towards their Mother. "Look what you've done to us!"

"This isn't our fault!" Sarah reaches her hand out, steps forwards and backward, conflicted on the spot. "Stop." She says quietly when he drags Mary's face closer to their Mother, the pulsing in her ears too loud for her to hear the snarls under her Father's breath. "Stop." She peers back at the door then to Mary.

"Please, daddy!" Mary cries and he pushes her flat against the table and a loud breath knocks from Mary's chest. Sarah, rushes forwards, pulling at his arm.

"You're hurting her!" The two of them struggle against him and he shrugs her off multiple times till he eventually turns, backhanding her. She tumbles to the floor holding her face but has no time to think about what he's done because Eric steps past her, grabbing John off Mary and away from the table. John struggles and it surprises her that he had the audacity to even dare, but with Eric, it looked effortless. The Dauntless Leader uses an act of brutality for payment and snaps back all the fingers on John's left hand without so much as flinching. He watches as he drops to the floor and cradles his hand and most likely his wounded pride.

"I warned you, John," Eric says calmly. A pittance of dread runs through every vein of Sarah. She knew some of the lengths Eric used towards threats. She'd seen it with her own eyes.

"Get out…" John spits, trying to get to get to his feet but failing. "Get out and take her with you. Take the little-" Eric kicks him in his gut and Mary screams.

But somehow the Dauntless Leader keeps his cool, leaning over John and submerging him in a looming shadow as he speaks quietly. "If Mary tells me you've laid a hand on her, next time it'll be your neck… I'm sorry for your loss." Eric then walks over to Sarah and holds his hand out to her, pulling her to her feet and straight into his chest as he traces the mark on her face.

"I'm okay." She says while her hands are braced against him, her eyes not daring to meet his. They stand a little too long in this position, longer than what was deemed necessary.

"I think you should leave, Sarah." Her Mother's voice is uncommonly softer than usual. Her demeanor is also stoic and unmoving, her head tilted up and staring at the furthest wall. "Go now." A tear travels the side of her face as she talks. "Wherever you are, disaster follows you. I can't even look at you. Just leave…"

" _This isn't my fault_ …" Sarah whispers, but Eric gently ushers her forwards and towards the door.

"We'll see you at the funeral."

* * *

Sarah lies down on the bed, situated on her side. Her hair lies loosely behind her with her nightwear draped across the bedding. She showered as soon as she got in, trying to feel something then the empty pit in her stomach, or the cold frost which had attached itself to her heart and mind that plagued her.

When Eric finally appears from the bathroom, he sits on the edge quietly, plugging his phone into the charger. "They blame me." She grips the pillow tightly with no more tears to cry.

"They'll come around." He huffs, flipping back the covers and she turns to face him. "Go to sleep."

"I can't. My mind…it won't switch off. I keep seeing the lights and-"

"Do you want something?" Eric talks slowly. Of course, she had no idea what he's talking about, and regardless of what nerve-testing questions she'll come out with, he gets up to go to the bathroom, searching through one of the cupboards and finding a serum in a small capped tube he'd been offered after a bad injury. "Take this."

"What is it?"

"It will help you sleep." He traces her jawline, then runs his finger under her bottom lip. He tries furtively to block out the alluring images of Sarah holding a gun, especially when her eyes glisten while looking up at him in this moment.

"Will I dream?"

Eric raises an eyebrow in thought. "Probably not."

"Is it bad for you?"

"Sarah…" He says condescendingly. "It's a very mild sedative. A child could take it." With that he uncaps it, leaning on his elbow next to her and putting it to her lip, slowly tilting the contents into her mouth. A drop trickles down the corner of her mouth and he leans in, licking his way back to her lips, the serum sweet on his tongue along with the subtle taste of her skin. "You know what I thought when you were holding the gun?" She shakes her head. "How delicious you looked." Even with a drop he can feel the euphoric effect playing on his mind. "Do you want me to help you?"

"What?"

"I can take away your pain."

"You can?" It was a half-finished, confused question as he leans in, ghosting his lips against hers. When her mouth opens, he swirls his tongue for more effect of the serum, prepared to slightly join her on her journey. She's much more relaxed and she hums with a sigh, her hands loosely pulling on the back of his neck and he positions himself over her, her legs parting to allowing him to settle between them. " _Take it_ …" She whispers.

He reaches between them, his movements slowed and messy as he pushes down his boxers and frees his lazy erection. Pushing in slow, the room spins, her back arching up and pushing herself against him.

"Take it."

The more he takes, the more he leaves a little piece of him behind.

* * *

Eric had awoken with Sarah's arm placed under his, her leg propped on his hip. The serum had completely knocked her out and for the most part, she slept well, barely moving at all while clinging onto him. He'd hurriedly shoved her away and got ready for the grueling day ahead, letting her sleep.

But in his office, he'd become distracted with thought. Regardless of Clair stepping in every five minutes to which he ignored her.

Wrapping Sarah around his little finger had been harder than he'd expected. At first, he found it more of challenge - until realizing it was actually what he wanted. And now he had it, he wanted more. But more was something he didn't really understand. What was more?

He had her in his bed. She relied on him physically and emotionally. He'd made sure she agreed to his point of view regardless of whether she argued it or not. He'd also managed to break her away from her Abnegation that she seemed to love so much. And last but not least, she was willing to take another man's life.

But _more_ was something he was unsure of. And he loathed uncertainty. When he was uncertain he was at his most reckless. Unpredictable. Insatiable. Despicable. All because he pushed and strived for answers and knowledge. Sometimes he would use the others around him to test for emotional understanding because he always found himself one short on feelings. Feelings were a weakness. He didn't even particularly feel hate. Hate was a definite way to spiral into self-obsessions and it made people act unusually erratic and wasteful.

What made the switchboard of his brain, was basic instinct. He'd always acted on it and it had got him thus far, however questionable.

His time in his office was cut short from a call. _The_ call. The one he was expecting…

He'd left his office and found Sarah back at his apartment, where he had left her, still undressed, looking utterly ravaged and he had to fight the urge to climb back on top of her and seek out all that guilt and pain that changed her into something derisively pleasant to bed.

He'd told her clinically and kept it short. Since then she hadn't said anything. Nothing.

So right now, he watches her twist her blonde locks into that loathsome bun of hers. Her delicate hands working slowly as she stares at herself in the mirror for the first time since he's known her. There is only a small clipped bruise on her cheek from the bastard father of hers. Her eyes are slightly puffy, discolored and rightfully dreary. Her whole persona is beaten but she tries to hide it and she's more successful than some of the soldiers he's come across in his time.

Lastly, she shrugs on her cardigan, still unaware of him watching her from the bedroom doorway. She turns, noticing him but redirecting her gaze. "I'll see you tonight." Her sweet voice unusually brittle. He can tell she's embarrassed by her obvious emotions in front of him.

The call was notifying them of her sister's funeral. It was going ahead that day. There was no inquiry into her death as it was pretty clear to everyone what had happened and Abnegation thought it was selfish to prolong somebodies parting and liked to do it as quickly as possible.

"I can't come with you." He had endless paperwork to do from his actions towards the groups of factionless outside of Abnegation. On top that, he was now laden with intolerable questions from each faction – apart from Amity, as to why he hadn't done this sooner.

Also, an Abnegation funeral was something he'd rather avoid.

"Okay." She stops in front of him as he blocks the doorway and still averts her eyes.

"Someone is going to escort you. Ask the guards at the entrance." Eric reaches out, touching the small bruise on her cheek and she flinches a little. "You have your phone?"

"Yes."

"Call me if you need me."

"Thank you." Eric watches her lips as she talks quietly. "…for last night." She chews the inside of her cheek nervously. "Was that…Was it wrong?"

"That was normal." He says firmly. "Everyone has their own way."

"I think it was wrong."

"You would. It was a selfish act on your behalf but you needed out. You're human. Don't blame yourself."

"What am I?" She asks, finally meeting his gaze. "Because I wear the Abnegation clothes but I don't feel like I'm Abnegation. I don't even know who I am?"

"You're Sarah Bennett. The same Sarah Bennett who walked into my office five weeks ago." She nods unsurely. "Sweetheart…" His tone changes and he plays with the top button of her cardigan. "…do you honestly need me to tell you? Do you need me to give you a speech on personal development? Or are you asking me to explain your mind frame and make it up for you?"

His hand travels to the nape of her neck, massaging gently as he talks. "We all will face certain ordeals in life that will change us. It is only natural to react a certain way, to feel lost. But realize that is only part of the cycle of life and death."

"You lost your sister, and I'm sincerely sorry. But don't go losing yourself in the process. You take what you need from it and you learn. However, you can't look back. Looking back stops you from moving forward." She tries to agree with a tight smile but it's pitiful.

"If it helps, I know who you really are and right now that should be enough."

"What if it's not?" Eric snatches his hand back, his brows furrowing. "What if it's not enough?" He can't help but squint, trying to suss out her motives on openly disagreeing with him.

"Then I guess it would be a mistake on my behalf. I don't know you at all." Moving out of her way, she passes as he watches her over his shoulder. She stops just in front of the main door, not looking back, waiting for him to open it. Seeing her avoid him only aggravates him. The way her shorter than usual skirt hangs pleated just above her knees, her bun situated higher than normal. He almost damned the factionless and her sister's actions because they got in his way.

With exasperation, he strolls over, sighing as he types in the code.

"Eric…" She nods in parting.

"Sarah."

He accepts the creeping voice in the back of his mind, telling him her ties with Abnegation are going to have to be cut.

* * *

There are more people than Sarah originally expected. - Though she isn't surprised. A death from a young Abnegation who ran off with a bunch of boys of the factionless is something everybody would want a piece of. Let alone the rumors of her and her sister Mary who both work for Dauntless. And it would be stupid of her not to think that every single person knows of her meanderings with Mr. Coulter.

She can already tell by the cautiousness of the people's greetings and the way they gawp at her. The acts of politeness, their words too well-rehearsed. But in her typical fashion, she manages to ignore them, concentrating ahead of her.

The graveyard of Abnegation is filled with close friends of the family, all of the council members, and Lizzie's entire year from school… Dalton and his family are also here, but taking a spot further back of the gathered crowd.

It's almost overwhelming; the continuous array of condolences from people she hardly knew. These strangers didn't truly know Lizzie either. They didn't know her life goals. What faction she wanted to pick. How brave and fearless the fiery girl was. Why were they here? Was gossip that important that hounding a young girl's funeral was worth it?

However, she couldn't say that that was the most upsetting part. What infuriated her the most were her parents, situated directly in front of the coffin hovering over the open ground while she and her siblings stood further back, almost part of the crowd. And they didn't look back…

Paying no mind to how she felt, Lizzie receives her blessing beautifully, regardless. And as much as Mary was to cry next to her, she stands motionless, not even a trace of emotion on her face. Though inside she was burning, slowly. The bubbles of guilt were bristling her body from inside out as she dug her nails so hard into her palm she felt the break in her skin.

Her mother had approached her before the ceremony began on the dull plain area behind Abnegation where every member young or old was buried. And although cold, she asked for one thing. One thing that Lizzie loved. She asked her to sing. Nothing specific, anything of her choice while the coffin would be lowered into the ground and bring the ceremony to an end. Sarah couldn't refuse, even through their own animosity.

A small thank you is said by her father and he then finds her in the crowd, announcing her and motioning for her to join him up front.

Taking a deep breath, she hands Mary her gray bag and walks on unsteady legs with her fingers entwined in front of her. She stands a few feet from Lizzie's grave, looking down at her coffin for a long while before turning her head towards the sky.

She weakly clears her throat and it's deadly quiet. " _Well, the seed needs the water, before it grows out of the ground. But it just keeps on getting hard, hunger more profound. Well, I know there can come tears from the eye, but they may as well be in vain. And even though I know these tears come with pain. Even so, and just the same_." She flinches as in her peripheral the coffin begins to lower. " _Make it rain. Make it rain down, Lord. Make it rain. Make it rain_." Stupidly she looks to the crowd and sees Mary reaching out and being held back, causing her voice to break. Over the howling of her Mother, no one is really paying attention, but she sings anyway. " _Make it rain, make it rain down, Lord. Make it rain. Oh, make it rain_." Gradually her voice becomes quiet, a hot flush creeping up her chest and the words stuck in her throat. She squeaks, her eyes falling back to the ground, but it truly doesn't matter as people are turning away, ushering others to go with them and leave their devastated family. She takes it as her cue, stumbling on weak legs with a sickness in her stomach back to her now discarded bag on the floor as some Abnegation Council members try to console Mary and distract Thomas.

"That was beautiful." A hand lands on her shoulder as she tries to escape, causing her to jump in surprise and finally realizing it's Dalton. "I'm terribly sorry." Sarah just stares dumbfoundedly at him. Now was now the time to speak to her, she didn't want to speak to anyone. And she especially didn't want to talk to him. "If there's anything-"

Her phone begins vibrating in her bag and it snaps her from the trance-like state. "I have to go." Though his face crumples in confusion she doesn't bother with excuses, walking past him before answering her phone. Her hands tremble and she can barely speak. "H-hello?"

"Are you finished?" Eric sounds distance on the other end. Sarah looks back to the commotion, nodding even though he can't see.

"Yes…yes. It's finished. I'm-I'm walking back now." She's more stumbling than walking, her eyes set between the houses she has to pass to find her way back. She can't bear to get involved with the dramatics behind her. It was too much. Everything was too loud. "Are you at Dauntless?" She sniffs, blinking away tears.

"No."

She walks faster, her pulse racing. She can feel the wave of emotions hitting her now. Hitting her hard to the point she begins to jog. "Where-where…" She puts her free hand to her mouth, hiccupping, and passes by the houses, turning left without slowing.

She's caught, and turned inwards towards the person's body, pressed against the rough material of the black Dauntless uniform. "I'm here." He whispers somewhere in her hair.

Sarah cries, having not done so when she probably should. She cries at the detachment from herself and her family. She cries because he bothered to turn up. And what's more, is that he doesn't move. Keeping her shrouded by his body. Pulling her up against the concrete wall of the building in the shadows, keeping her away from attention.

"Let me take you home."

Sarah begins shaking her head, "I-I don't-"

"Back to Dauntless."

"Dauntless?" Eric tugs her arm, stepping forward. When he said home, she didn't think he meant to Dauntless, she thought back to her parents. She takes one look back up the path towards the small crowd consoling her family, they don't know she isn't there. So, she follows him.

* * *

The sun is setting on the drive back to Dauntless. They are quiet for the most part until Eric shifts, pushing a hand into his jacket pocket and pulling out his cigarettes while driving. "I heard you singing. Did they ask you to do that?"

Sarah tears her eyes away from the road but he isn't looking at her, he's putting the cigarette in his mouth, cupping the other hand to light it. "Yes." She hesitates, "Lizzie liked it when we sang together. Though she couldn't sing and sounded terrible." She scoffs at the thought, reminiscing back to a time the three sisters were stripping the beds together and laughing among themselves. "Mother knew that and… she asked if I could." The smell of smoke hits her instantly and she moves her head more towards the window.

"I'm surprised you did. That was brave. Not a lot of people could do that. Especially a Stiff."

"It wasn't easy." She settles for, digging at her nail bed. "All I thought of was her. That made me do it." Lizzie's face flashes in her mind and she exhales sharply, pushing her hair back flat against her head. "All I see and think is her. It won't stop." Eric hums in response. "I just want one second to not be clouded. Just a second for this to stop…"

"It won't. They say time heals all wounds, but it's a lie. You just eventually learn to deal with it. Like I told you."

"It's always on my mind…" She trails off.

"So what are you saying?" Eric asks, one of his arms loosely on the wheel and the other pinching the cigarette. He brings it up to his mouth and it burns brightly as he inhales.

"I just…need," Her voices breaks and she swallows hard, trying to look around at anything but him. "…to get out of my head." She snorts at her words, shaking her head. When he doesn't reply she finally gets the courage to meet the hot gaze she can feel on her.

His hand leaves the steering wheel, patting his thigh, his other hand still holding the cigarette. "Well, get over here then." The truck begins to slow and her jaw drops. He taps his thigh once more and it's enough encouragement for her to unclip her seatbelt.

Clambering over the spare seat between them, she cautiously puts one leg between him and the door, hesitantly holding onto both his shoulders and avoiding his curious gaze.

Under her hand, even through his jacket, the man is solid. Pure muscle. Just being poised in his lap made her feel inferior, but also incredibly exhilarated altogether. When she slowly meets his eyes, they are alight with lust.

He pushes his hips up even with her weight on him, hanging his cigarette in his mouth while his free hand begins loosening his pants. "I didn't mean-" She tries pathetically to find some type of reasoning.

"I know you, Sarah. Don't lie to me." She helps him pull them to his knees, lifting her own skirt moments after. Briefly, his hand runs up her thigh, and against her better judgment, she parts her underwear as he holds his erection steady for her.

Skin on skin, Eric is warm between her thighs. She can feel he's still trying to guide the vehicle off the road by the way his legs are braced underneath her but she doesn't allow him the time as she slides down slowly on top of him. "Fuck, Sarah…" He groans, still with the cigarette in his mouth as she rises and brings herself down to his hilt. Closing her eyes, she rocks her body slowly, her breath fluttering as that empty void begins to fill.

They must've stopped as both of Eric's hands glide under her skirt, grabbing at her ass roughly and kneading the skin as her pace quickens, her delicate moans filling the cab. Forcing himself to sit up straighter, he grabs the cigarette and holds it out to her, almost pushing it to her lips. She's never dreamt or tried to smoke before and only thought of them as a disgusting habit, but she pulls on it anyway. He smirks at her when her head dizzies and she coughs, only to throw it out the open window and grab the back of her neck, pulling her down to his lips.

"You wanted to fuck me, Sarah. So, fuck me." He tells her viciously, the words ghosting across her lips as she blinks a few times at him. He darts his tongue into her mouth, coaxing her to ride against him.

Holding her hips, he watches her hungrily as she moves, sitting back, allowing her to take it. "Faster," he almost pants, rolling his lip between his teeth, quickly yanking at her hair till it falls from its signature bun. "Faster, Sarah."

Her own pleasure is coiling in her stomach, knotting up so tight she can't help but hiss and push her nails into the skin of his neck. "You want to forget, so forget." He demands.

"Y-yes" She meekly says.

"Yes, what?"

"I want to forget." Eric wastes no time placing his fingers against her clit and she gasps, bucking against him. And for the first time, her hands rise to her hair, trailing down the mess he'd made of it, traveling across her breasts. She comes undone, every single emotion depleting as the flooding waves wash her away to some place far from all the _shit_ massacring what should have been a simple life.

She was a user, and Eric was her drug.

* * *

A/N

Thanks for all the peeps that inspired and helped me this chapter! Couldn't be done without you!

Also, a huge thank you for all of your encouraging reviews on here, Tumblr and all the lovely asks and what not, it's all amazing!

The song was Ed Sheeran - Make it rain, for those wondering!

Enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

It's been two days.

Two days Eric has left her to her own devices in his apartment while he worked and she filled the day with monotonous tasks – mainly sleep. He didn't question or seem aggravated by her being here. Nor did he complain of her absence at work.

But Sarah thinks she's ready to go back now. She was never one for idle thoughts or idle hands. And if she didn't know any better, she guessed Eric already knew that and was waiting her out.

She leans her chin onto her crossed forearms balanced on the island counter while seated, staring at the steam rising from the coffee cup. The room is quiet, not a noise, and she swings her feet on the stool. Her eyes skim across the dark gray counter-top, down to the white and unusual modern cupboards that curve around the corner where the edge of the kitchen finishes and becomes part of the room. The laminate of the kitchen floor stops impossibly straight and perfectly in line with the units… Of course, they did.

Her lip quirks imaging Eric with a level and ruler, checking that his subordinates had done a good job. Did he choose the kitchen?

She frowns, leaning up on an elbow and sighing. She ought to try this coffee she made. She's never tasted coffee but noticed Eric always had his black and could finish it a few short glugs. In her opinion, it still smelt as disgusting as she always thought, no matter how many sugars she put into it. It was a great way to waste ten minutes, at least.

Picking it up, she takes comfort in the warmth of the cup. Although the apartment isn't cold, it wasn't homely, it didn't have the same feel as her parents. She tilts it towards her mouth, trying to wipe the thought from her mind; just placing her lips and stopping herself from breathing in the scent to try it when somebody knocks on the door. She freezes instantly, looking at the door as if she imagined it until there's another loud knock.

Putting the cup down and sliding off the stool, she walks quietly, then looks through the eyehole. It's the same guy she'd seen back at intelligence that she spoke to briefly.

He smiles tightly through weird bubbled image straight back at her. "Hello."

She backs away, then peers around her for a minute. "Er…I don't know the code to the door." She leans in closer to hear his reply.

"Eric not messaged you?"

She hadn't looked at her phone or heard it go off. "One second." If he had been messaging her and she wasn't replying, he would be in a foul mood when he got back later.

She finds her phone and as soon as she touches it, it vibrates in her hand. "72724" The message reads.

Jogging back to the door, she checks he's still there and he's standing back with his arms crossed in front of him with some sort of paperwork flat against his chest. Typing in the code, the keypad beeps, glowing green and she can hear the lock swirl. She opens it a crack and smiles at him.

First of all, his eyes roam down her loose hair she hadn't tied back making her feel self-conscious until he nods. "It's Four."

"Sorry?" She peers behind her to the kitchen where the clock reads six.

"My name. It's Four." The pieces click together and she blushes.

"Uh…"

"It's okay. We only met the once a few weeks back." He shrugs. "Eric told me to leave these with you for when he gets back later." Holding out the papers, she awkwardly takes them and begins to feel hot and flustered. "I won't keep you." Again, with the tight smile, he turns to walk away.

She bites her lip, floundering on the spot. "Four. Where is Eric?"

"You're asking the wrong person. Good night, Sarah."

Now she just feels rude. He knew her name and she couldn't remember his. Her manners had definitely slipped. The door closes and automatically locks behind her. She shuffles the papers till they lay neatly on the side and then grips the counter, leaning on her arm lazily. _Now, what?_ The coffee cup catches her eye, the thought of drinking it now disgusted her, so she takes it to the sink watching it swirl down the plug hole. She washes and dries it, putting it back with the others. Then that's when the four walls start closing in.

Sarah puts on her boots then goes into the bedroom, looking for something black to at least hide her between the crowds. She opens a drawer to find shirts and sweaters all folded neatly and organized. Pulling out the first she sees; she sniffs it first. It smells like laundry soap, something she never smelt on Eric. He smelt like some sort of spray or cologne he tended to put on just before he left for the day. It wasn't particularly strong but it lingered in the room for over an hour every time he left.

Slipping it on, the soapy smell is actually comforting and she pulls on the cuff of one of the sleeves, bringing it up to her nose to inhale it. The size of the sweater is ridiculous, covering her butt and half-way to the end of her skirt. She quickly pulls back her hair and heads for the door.

Eric was more than likely in his office, and the trip doesn't take too long to get there considering she knew her way around now. Clair of course, looks at her funny as she approaches.

"He's not here," Clair says, still frowning at the sweater she's wearing.

"Do you know where he is?"

"I can call him-"

"No, no! Just, erm, tell me where he is, please."

Clair studies her for a minute. "Certainly. He's probably in the training room." Sarah must look puzzled as Clair explains further. "He's been there the last few nights, so he'll most likely be there."

"Thank you." She turns to leave.

"I'm sorry about your sister," Clair calls out after a minute while she waits for the elevator again. Sarah doesn't reply, just curtly nods.

* * *

Her ankle clicks as she rises to the tips of her toes, peering through the training room double doors small meshed glass. She's never been here before, nor ever wished to.

But she can't say it isn't an amazing and completely underestimated place. The room seems to continue on; as wide as it is long with large metal and concrete covered struts dividing up the room. Between the struts lie various equipment but most noticeably the bulbous shaped punchbags.

Along the middle of the room are raised areas where she guessed they fought. Above each, and running parallel to the other parts of the room, were square-shaped lighting.

The light it produces is clinically white but left parts of the room shadowed; apart from along one side where the windows were situated. Though it was still dreary because of the weather and also because it was sundown.

Pulling up her hood of the sweater, she opens the door quietly to not draw any attention to herself. Most of the people in here are too busy working on the bags, a crowd gathered around two Dauntless fighting loudly, one slamming back against the hard floor and making her wince from the noise and hurry her pace.

Further up she sees a much calmer group; the mop of hair she could only fathom as Wayne and along with Eric, wearing just a black vest and sweats. She travels the shadows as much as she dares, finally stopping and hiding against the cover of a pillar and its shadow.

Eric steps up to the mat and motions Wayne forward, guarding his face with his fists. Although she's seen Eric in many different stances, she's never seen him loosely prepared for a fight and she can't seem to look away.

Wayne throws the first punch and Eric blocks, grabbing his arm and twisting till they change position. "Predictable," Eric says with mirth, his voice echoing in the open space.

"I'm just warming up." Wayne dances from foot to foot, lunging forward. There's a brief moment where they connect a few hits on each other till Eric takes out his knee and Wayne stumbles to the ground.

"And that there is how you fail." Their small group snickers between themselves at Wayne's expense. Eric drops his guard, rubbing the back of his neck as he seems to smile while he walks away and another takes his place.

Like the typical predator, his eyes flick up instantly to her stare before calmly treading towards her, fiddling with the wraps covering his hands and wrists. She doesn't make a move. "The stiff's getting adventurous." He eyes up his clothes on her. "…and rebellious." The wrapping from one hand falls away and he works on the other.

"I've never seen you fight like that before." She looks passed him just as Wayne floors his opponent and offers his hand, smacking the other guy on the back as he lifts him from the ground while laughing.

"You've never seen me fight."

"I just did."

"Just a bit of foreplay." He says mischievously, one side of his mouth lifting up at her and she hugs her arms uncomfortably. She tries to smile but he leans his forearm on the pillar, the muscles in his arms tensing as he leers over her and it breaks her composure. "Did you like what you saw?"

"It was… okay."

"Okay?" His piercings glint in the lighting and he licks his lower lip, "Maybe we need to do a few more practice runs." The group behind him begin filtering away. Wayne knocks into Eric as he passes, winking at Sarah but she can't help but scowl at him. She watches Eric's eyes as they trail after the group and they latch quickly back onto her. "I give you the code and you think you get free reign to do as you please, hey?"

"No, I just couldn't sit in the apartment any longer on my own."

"You missed me?"

Of course, now it all made sense. The relaxed, flirty Eric right after some form of abnormal violence is raising its playful head. Sarah was no good at flirting or even playing along and he knew that. If anything, it made her blush and sweaty, fighting to find some form of words that would always catch in the back her throat. "I missed work. I want to go back to work."

His reply is a snort and he shoves away from the pillar. "Okay." He moves towards one of the bags closest to them and lightly taps it as he passes. "You coming?" He says, but he's looking at the disgruntled group cheering on two men throwing their weight. Eric stops just a few feet from the back of the crowd and Sarah walks up next to him, pocketing her hands.

"Are they initiates?" She didn't believe they were. Most of them were heavily tattooed and even the women were muscly to the point it wasn't even attractive… Nina was athletically built as well.

"About to pass. Same as you."

"They are?" Her eyebrows bow at their deception and he nudges her.

"Ever thrown a punch in your life, stiff?" He mocks.

"Do I look like I've ever thrown a punch in my life?" She suddenly realizes who she's talking to and catches herself, ducking her head slightly as he glares at her. The honest truth is that being stuck for two days with her thoughts had desensitized her to her place with him. Especially when most nights he would lay between her legs. "No, I've never had to."

"But a slap is commonplace, no?"

"Only if need be." Her eyes drop to the tattoos on his arm, then to the small leftover scar from the factionless that she'd failed to notice before. "Will that always be there?"

He follows her gaze and quirks a brow. "Probably. Thanks to you."

She purses her lips from smiling.

"You think that's funny?"

She can't help the ripple of laughter, trying to cover her mouth. "Erm, no, of course not." But it causes her to laugh more with the utter lie. Eric stands emotionless, she can't tell what he's thinking so she tilts her head sympathetically. "You were just so angry… and now it looks so insignificant. You didn't need to be that angry over it."

"You thought I was angry?" He steps closer and her smile falters.

"You looked angry."

"I was frustrated." He tilts his head, looking down to her legs. "I'm kind of frustrated right now."

"Maybe… you should get it out of your system."

"Is that an invitation?" He pulls on her hood till it slips from her head. "Or are you daring me?"

"It was just… a solution." She mumbles as he rounds behind her, he suddenly lifts her skirt from behind. "Eric!"

"What? No one is looking. Or are you afraid?" He pushes his hands underneath the material of her clothes, pulling her back against him by her hips. "Watch the fight…" He grazes his fingertips across her stomach, his breath against her neck.

"I'm watching-" She gasps when he slips his fingers down the front of her underwear, quickly sourcing out her core and pushing inside of her. She leans forward, legs shuddering, parting for him.

"Are you still watching?" He whispers on her neck. "Is it still the same solution you're thinking of?" Eric scoffs. She grips onto his arms, feeling his movements beneath her hand and his fingers coiling inside at the same time. He jolts them both to the side, their feet scuffling. He walks still caging her in his arms and he eventually picks her up while guiding them to the side of the training room behind a strut.

He pulls her skirt over her hips, pushing her back down as she steadies herself against the concrete.

"Punishment for leaving the apartment, stiff." Her underwear is on her knees with a quick tug and he enters her from behind, pulling her hips back against him. A heavy hand grabs at her shoulder and he keeps a hold of her hip, snapping his own multiple times. With each thrust she feels her body beginning to warm, small whimpers of rippling pleasure leaving her lips. She loses herself in the moment, only realizing how audible she is getting when he clamps his hand over her mouth and she repositions her body, looking back at his serious expression, his bottom lip sucked in and a line of sweat on the side of his face.

She decides she wants to see him come like this, so keeps her head turned, her eyes beginning to water as they so desperately want to close in euphoria. He slaps her leg as the crowd cheers and she flinches, so he does it again, this time harder.

When she pushes against him, his eyes meet hers and a dangerous smirk plays on his face.

But Sarah's resolve breaks quickly and she drops her head for a split second as a gushing warmth writhers across her lower body, "Eric, I'm coming." She says quietly against his hand on her mouth which tightens painfully. Raising her head, she sees him thrust against her a few more times through the haze. The last and final time holding himself to her and his features relax while he pulses inside of her, rubbing her backside as he does so and groaning quietly to himself. He pulls her up, yanking her underwear and covering himself quickly before gripping her cheeks and kissing her forcefully and sloppily, biting her lower lip as he pulls away.

"You should be bad more often." And he looks like he wants to eat her alive.

* * *

It's the next morning when she wakes alone, that something in the back of her mind tells her something isn't right.

She told Eric that she wanted to go back to work and usually he'd wake her and they would leave together. But today he didn't. He's already gone and the clock reads eight. Sarah rushes to get ready, throwing on her clothes and making her way to the Leader's suite, finding herself there within fifteen minutes.

The corridor is quiet and she treads nervously past Clair who gives her a tight smile that seemingly tells her to turn around and not bother with the day. Maybe it was a bad idea? Maybe she should've stayed at the apartment? But what casts an eerie feeling she couldn't really put her finger on, and she's terribly reluctant to enter Eric's office.

And she was right. When she knocks and he replies with a simple "What?" she can tell he's in a disgruntled mood.

"You didn't wake me?" She says softly, closing the door quietly behind her. His whole demeanor is imposing, his eyes clouded and already frowning at her. He's surrounded by paperwork, his fingers still hovering over the keyboard.

"Yeah? And?"

Sarah doesn't push him further and takes a seat in the plastic chair to the side of his desk where she always sat if she wasn't standing to his side in a meeting. It takes him a few minutes but he seemingly composes himself and sits back in his chair. "Sarah…" He purrs her name, clicking his tongue in thought and a sense of worry runs through her.  
"What do you think about Erudite wanting to abolish the Abnegation council?" Her stomach drops and Eric pouts a little in mocking. "…They think Candor and Erudite should take its place with me fronting the board. I'd have outright permission to execute any form of measure I deem necessary, without implications. …Can't say it doesn't sound like a bad idea myself…" He twists in his chair from side to side. "My little stunt with the factionless seems to have impressed them." She knows he's playing with her when he pretends to peer up at the ceiling in thought. "…I never knew they were so bloodthirsty, did you?"

"Are you joking?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" He spins so his legs point towards her, slack in front of him as his eyes roam over her clothes for a second. "What if I said, they want to _disqualify_ the Abnegation working at Dauntless because they see it as discriminating and opportunistic of the selfless faction?" His lip quirks a little on his words. "What if I said, that they think Abnegation are disclosing information to the factionless and fuelling their protests. _What if I said,_ they believe we have an infiltrator in the form of a self-sacrificing _gray_?"

"I would say it sounds like you are accusing me."

"Prove me wrong."

"Abnegation always put others before themselves. Erudite have taken charity and turned it into a form of over-exaggerated conspiracy. Do you seriously believe that?"

"I'm asking you."

"Erudite are liars. They aren't Candor – though I would be reluctant to believe anything Candor would say either. They will all twist the truth to their will. Whatever will benefit them the best. Whatever will benefit them as a faction the most."

"Interesting theory." Mirth plays on his lips and he bites them provocatively when she looks at him.

"Abnegation don't play pathetic games for the need to possess power. I'm not saying I agree with everything our faction strives for, but we have the best intentions. Which I don't believe Erudite have." Eric stays quiet. "…That's-that's my opinion." She drops her head.

"I should let you speak your mind more often, stiff. It's kind of stimulating."

"Like I said, I know my own mind. And it certainly won't be clouded by lies and senseless people."

Eric scoffs. "That's funny, half the time you ask me to set your mind frame for you."

"Not everything you say is disagreeable." Her nerves kick in now in the form of fiddling with her fingers on her lap.

"Interesting. So, tell me why you wouldn't believe the faction of truth, Candor?"

"Outspokenness that they think is the truth is nothing but an opinion. An opinion shared and blown up is not the truth."

"Daily quote from Sarah Bennett." He chuckles, lacing his hands across his stomach. "Do you know what makes me laugh the most?" Sarah shakes her head. "The fact that they think I need this recognition. Jeanine's cunning, I'll give her that, but incredibly unsubtle. At first, I found it insulting. But the more I think about it, the more it humors me."  
"She, above all people, should know how quickly I could rid of her from her most beloved throne. A faction not policed by Dauntless is a faction all on its own. Her people will throw her to the dogs the moment I would take apart their safety regulations."

Sarah keeps her eyes on the floor. The thought and question too enticing she can't help herself. "Then, why don't you?"

Eric darkens before her when she finally feels brave enough to look at him. He leans onto his knees, rolling close enough to grip her hands from their constant fiddling. His thumbs run across the back of her knuckles, not meeting her gaze while keeping his words quiet. "Because I like roleplay, Sarah." The look he gives after is evocative.

"Am I going to be disqualified?"

He smirks, "Would I let you be disqualified?"

She doesn't reply. Eric had already said enough.

* * *

"Eric, please…" Sarah pants again.

He roughly grabs a handful of hair and yanks it to the side, the breath of the unexpected movement caught in her throat. He harshly bites at her neck, glad that she hisses and it's painful.

Eric had been toying with her for over an hour now. Just because he could. They sit in the middle of the bed, her legs completely around his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck. The sweat glistens between her breasts, which he'd had the pleasure of tasting multiple times.

She's like putty in his hands. Loose, uncontrolled, withering. Her warm cunt dripping and slippery from the length of his teasing. Even her legs shook with anticipation and probably exertion.

"Eric-"

"No. Shut up." He's pinned her to him with a hand pressing hard on her thigh to keep her from moving. He uses the other hand to keep exposure to her neck, roughly yanking at her hair. She whimpers from time to time, pleasure or pain, he doesn't give a shit.

Eric's decided he wants to test her, to see how deep into her thoughts he could really go. He wanted to feel her orgasm completely, from start to finish without his own need disrupting them. – Just by his words. He wanted her to come undone on command, like the submissive, meek gray she was.

When she tries to move on him and bite at her lip, he grips her throat lightly. "You're going to come." He tells her, shaking her a little. "You're going to come because I tell you to. Nothing else." His dick twitches inside of her regardless and his own voice is a little breathless. Just looking at her mottled, pink and furious skin from his touches made him crazy to let go himself, especially as her walls tense in want around him.

Releasing the pressure on her thigh, he whispers. "Stay still." Wandering his hand up her spine, his lips curling in delight as she pushes into his touch, her mouth opening and sighing. The muscles brace in her legs and he brings her mouth to his, pushing his fingers back into her hair, but teasing her lips in the process by stopping them from touching at the last minute.

Surprise sparks on his face as her tongue juts out to his lip and she continuously hums erotically. He is the one in control, though. "You want to kiss me?"

"Mmmhmm." She hisses as he drags his nails down her back. He likes her this way. Lost sexually into him. Erotic, submissive, and somewhat brave.

He tilts her head by her hair, speaking into her mouth, against her lips. "You want to fuck me?"

"Yes."

"You want to come?"

She shudders, groaning. "Yes – yes, I want to come."

"Come then." He coaxes her. "I'm telling you to come, Sarah." Her thighs tighten and she paws at his shoulders for a second frantically like she had no sense of how to deal with her body and the way it felt.

Gently, he touches his lips onto her collarbone and she cries out. Pulse after pulse suck on his dick and he pushes on her legs so she can't ride it out, even though she sways and shudders. He finds himself smiling, looking at her face scrunched up, her eyes closed, listening to her sweet voice whine his name. Needing him. Wanting him. "Good girl," Eric tells her, stroking hair behind her ear as she whimpers quietly and slumps against his shoulder trying to catch her breath.

Eric rolls till he's on top of her, their sweaty abdomens delightfully pressed against each other. She reaches up, running her fingers up the tattoos on his neck, slipping to caress the side of his face. She holds her hand steady as he thrusts into her trying to find his own end while watching him intently, to the point he flicks up to her eyes and she holds them readily.

Eric's movements become erratic, groaning in satisfaction. He'd been desperate to come since entering her. At the last minute, he knocks her hand away from him, gripping it painfully as he finally releases.

Dropping his head against her chest he tries to regain his breath or a fathomable thought while listening to the fluttering beat of her heart. But for once, he has none.

* * *

Sarah has a migraine.

Eric damns himself for letting her breeze through her initiation. It was actually quite entertaining how his actions towards her had changed from the moment he met her and how he had made up his mind in one afternoon that very day. He had every intention of either sending her packing or becoming part of the furniture; an extension to tipple simple jobs upon. But the more he found himself enjoying her, the more his outlook had changed.

Was that weak coming from a man such as himself? No. He made the rules. He held her fate. It was up to him to decide. No one could really question his intentions. All he knew is that his intention was to keep her here until he felt otherwise.

All he knew, is that putting up with him for six weeks would be enough to test any person. It just so happens that he gained some sort of benefit out of it in the process. And just on that thought alone he would allow her to pass.

But, a sick day was a sick day. And to be fair, she looked awfully pale and barely able to lift her head that morning.

"You get the reports?"

Eric pulls his head from his computer, his own head pulsing from the stark white screen. Four stands in his doorway and he gives him a sharp scowl. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"I did." Four crosses his arms. "What are we going to do?"

"It doesn't take a genius to see that we need to up the security on the roads to Amity."

"Have you made the order?"

"I'm doing it right now." He wasn't, but he pulls up a new email with a loud click on the mouse. "Anything else?"

"Arrangements for the initiates passing."

"Same as every year. But I'll pass the job to Wayne to get it started. Speak to him about it. I have enough on my plate."

"And the ones that fail?" Four speaks quietly, stepping more into the room.

"I'm not adding to the factionless. If that's what you're asking?" Eric tilts his head. "I've made it pretty clear in the coming weeks that the failures with our training _won't_ be leaving, and they certainly won't be staying. We can't have trained combatants with a stick up their ass heading the factionless."

"So what Wayne said is true." Four whitens.

"I didn't come to the conclusion easily. I made sure to voice my concern and it was agreed. It will be dealt with humanely."

"Should we tell them?"

"Do we tell the faulty or sick horses of Amity that they are being put-down? No. No, we don't tell them. In the long-run, when the initiates have to deal with the factionless, they'll understand it was for the best."

"I don't agree. But… I see the point." Four straightens, clearing his throat on his admission as if it was a bad taste in his mouth and Eric smirks.

Eric knew that his Mother was factionless and Four had issues with an abusive Father. He knew he blamed and had a hate towards them for abandoning him when he was young. Over the years they had operated together, it had taken time, but Four had come around to some of the ways Eric had dealt with the inner works of Dauntless; because deep-down the number boy knew his way worked – whether he admitted or not. Statistics showed since his step into the seat that the functionality and cooperation of Dauntless had rocketed. And no matter what anyone could say, those charts spoke the truth.

Though, throughout their initiation together and for a good few years afterward, they never saw eye-to-eye. But as time mounted and the years passed, they were now half tolerable of each other and Four's disillusioned mindset eventually become wiped.

Eric simpers on the thought. "That's why I'm sitting here and you're not."

Clair appears behind Four disrupting the intense stare of both the Dauntless men. Four steps to let her into the room. "Eric. I have a message for Sarah."

* * *

The apartment is quiet and dark so Eric knows she hasn't got up. He kicks off his boots at the door and quietly makes his way to the bedroom, allowing time for his eyes to adjust from the luminous corridor.

He sighs taking in her form, dragging a hand down his face. The thought does come to mind to disintegrate her entire family. They were no good for her, or for his plight to keep her with him.

Moving to the side she's facing, he touches her face, sweeping a finger across her cheek and upper lip, his stomach twisting in annoyance.

To make his presence known he heavily sits in the crevice beside her stomach, shaking her shoulder once, caressing her arm. Her brow crumples up and she says something incoherent. Slowly, her eyes open, confusion crossing them at first.

"How are you feeling?" He asks quietly into the darkness of the room, keeping his voice low.

She yawns, grabbing his hand and pulling it in towards the covers. "I'm okay. You're cold."

He ignores her. "Sarah, you have to go back home."

"What?" She sits up too quickly, grabbing at her forehead. "Ugh." And lies back down again.

"You're Mother has had a reaction to some pills she was taking. Your father is too busy with work and Mary has school. They asked if you could go back for a few days."

"What about-"

"Don't worry. But you're not going till you feel better." His leg jackhammers for a second as a hundred thoughts strike him in that moment.

"You look stressed." Her voice soft and slow from sleep. She shifts completely onto her back, her breasts exposed from the sheets and she doesn't seem to care. He doesn't hide the fact he openly appreciates them by roaming across her skin.

"Your Mother is fine by the way." He scoffs.

"I knew that otherwise you would have said." He can't help but stare down at her and she looks genuinely concerned. But not about her family, about him. "You want to lie down with me?" He squints at her. "Just for a minute?"

"No." He says it a little too harshly and she looks away. Guilt quickly overrides and he stands, unzipping his jacket as if it pained him and she moves to the middle of the bed, not all the way to the other side. Suddenly he regrets accepting her offer. He knew she wanted comfort and he had none to give.

But as he lies down and she smiles, facing him but not touching, he knows her head is worse than she's letting on as her eyes slip shut. _Typical Stiff_. Just like how she tries to deny her nightmares that keep her awake at night.

When she's completely asleep, he reaches out and subconsciously plays with a piece of her hair. It's soft and delicately fine, like everything about her.

The harsh reality and weight of his actions he's ever done towards her come crashing down with a fierce wave of heat creeping up his back.

He was frustration that shook the rose and damaged the petals.

But then again, spiders drew delicate webs that still possessed the strength to capture its prey.

Weakness came in many forms.

It's on that thought he gets off the bed, leaving with his own migraine.

* * *

A/N

It's Sunday. So here's the latest! I hope you enjoy!

For those interested, check out my Tumblr: beautifulramblingbrains, or send me an ask or whatever you want on there! I'm sure someone said in a review they had questions, so don't be shy my love.

Again, I say it every time, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who helped and reviewed, followed, faved. Especially the totally in-depth reviews! I could speak for hours about it!

Have a great weekend.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N

Thanks to everyone that had the patience with me rambling on about this chapter and who helped with some of these scenes and editing.  
And a big thank you to the reviews and asks etc. It's really great, I love it!

I adored the message of prewarning on the reviews! I so totally laughed out loud. Only because you (my readers) know me so well and I find that really AMAZING!

I also find it fascinating with the split sides of whether they want Eric to change or stay how he is; to only find the results being 50/50!

This is my representation of Eric for this story, and this is how he is. Enjoy!

* * *

Sarah slips down from the truck, her bag firmly in hand, and turns to peer back at Eric. The rain patters on the hood of her jacket, some strands of hair flail in the wind as she looks up at him. "For how long? Don't you need me?"

"Not in the foreseeable future, no. You got your phone?" He says gruffly and she nods, holding the door from shutting. "Use it." He turns his head towards the street ahead and the Abnegation running to and from the houses because of the weather. However, Sarah just stands as if it doesn't affect her. Weirdly the weather suits her mood. "I'll call you when I can."

"When?"

"I don't fucking know, Sarah," he snaps at her and she lets the door go briefly, scrabbling to catch it. "I said I'll call you. Go home, it's raining."

He'd been off with her most of the afternoon after she finally woke and the migraine had lifted. He hadn't shown any concern over her passing her initiation on Saturday, barely spoke, and having made her pack all her things; she was beginning to feel dejected.

Strangely, though, this feeling hadn't started to kick in until he had barked the word 'home'.

"Have I…done something wrong?"

His eyes flicker over her for a brief second. "Go." He waves his hand dismissively.

Giving the square house behind a small look, a thrum of dread courses through her. "Goodbye, Eric."

"Sarah," Is his only word in parting, and she steps back allowing the door to close. She watches for a few seconds longer as he pulls away before turning towards the house and hurrying up the path. The rain pours down the side of the building, parting down either side of the door.

The front door is unlocked as per usual and she bustles herself inside. She half expected to see her mother sitting at the table, but she isn't. Mary walks through from the kitchen instead. Her eyes brighten and she quickly places the plate of food she was holding on the dining room table.

They are in each other's arms in a matter of seconds; Mary uncaring for Sarah's rain soaked jacket. "Oh, Sarah," she sighs, pulling her tighter.

"How have you been? Or is that a stupid question?" Upon hearing her voice, little footsteps stampede from the lounge, not stopping till Thomas flies into her side. She drops everything, her hood falling back as she crouches down and hugs him tightly.

"You're sleeping with me tonight," Mary tells her, rolling back on her heels excitedly. "Your room is now Thomas's room." Sarah had no doubt her parents wouldn't waste any time moving him in, so it isn't a shock. But it still hurts.

Keeping her voice as level as possible, she tightly smiles. "That's great."

"I have a box of your stuff I packed. Maybe you should take it with you when you go back to-"

"Mary, it sounds like you're trying to get rid of me," Sarah laughs lightly. "But, thank you." She stands up too quickly, her head rushing and rubbing at her temple to ease the throbbing pain. " _Well, I better go see the patient,_ " she whispers playfully. Thomas yanks on her hand, pulling her forward and jabbering on about something he did at school.

They go through the kitchen and stop in the doorway of the lounge. Her Mother's patronizing furrowed brow is mainly prominent, to the point Sarah almost rolls her eyes. The older woman looks utterly pathetic in her small cot bed with her wrapped leg propped up by pillows. "You're late. We sent the message hours ago."

She could no longer fear this conniving woman. Nor did she see her as a relative or Mother or anyone important to her for that fact. How could she fear her when every day she was constantly pitted against Eric and his erratic behavior? Maybe she was stupid, but she doesn't seem to be afraid of him anymore either.

But ironically, that's what scares her the most.

* * *

The rain hits the window. The noise, though comforting, stops Sarah from fully closing her eyes and being able to drift off.

She stares blankly at the wall, suddenly aware of the obvious vulnerability of the Abnegation housing after staying stories high in the Dauntless fortress. It is early too. She never tried to go to sleep at this time while at Dauntless.

This was supposed to be easy. She knows she doesn't need Eric. She has spent eighteen years of her life living under this household without him even gracing her thoughts and barely acknowledging his existence.

So why does she feel nothing other than a stranger in her own home? More to herself than anything.

"Do you miss Dauntless?" Mary whispers in the darkness.

Sarah hesitates briefly before answering. "No." Then she shifts to get more comfortable, her aggravated thoughts mainly causing her discomfort. "Yes," she admits as she rolls onto her back and looks over to Mary. She sees the outline of her body, watching her side rise and fall as she breathes silently.

"I missed you." Mary sounds like she may be crying because her voice breaks but she can't be sure. "I miss Lizzie."

"I miss her, too."

Mary sniffs so Sarah flips back the covers, treading lightly to her sister's bed and moves in behind her slowly. She drapes an arm over the shuddering girl, hugging her closely while Mary stays fetal. Sarah strokes her arm, lulling her to sleep as she stares at the drops of rain dancing down the pane of glass.

"You're okay," she whispers. "I'm here."

Her insides momentarily split and ache. She wanted to be here for her brother and sister, but deep inside, she knew she couldn't be - not fully. So basically, she has blatantly lied. This is another new trait; one she has learned. It has been easy to become falsely emotionally supportive after the same thing had been repeatedly used against her, by Eric or her parents.

Eventually, her sister must have gone to sleep as Sarah doesn't hear any whimpers, and her breathing becomes slow.

If only she could do the same.

* * *

Mary watches in bewilderment and disbelief from the last seat at the end of the dining table. She is in so much shock that she can barely lift the spoon of cereal to her mouth in case she inhaled it.

Sarah's face is cast downwards, but a line sits on her forehead which Mary guesses is discontentment, maybe even disgust.

"- After Thomas, you will collect the laundry from each house you pass on the way back, especially the elderly couple three doors down. The rain was so bad last night and the air is thick. The poor souls can't do it themselves." Her Mother smacks her lips together. "Then each room here needs dusting, I haven't been able to get upstairs, and obviously now with this stupid inflammation, it will be weeks before it actually gets done." Her Mother takes a spoonful of oats and chews slowly. "Then I need you to cook lunch. Thomas will be needing to be picked up around three so you can do that after you have cleaned away the disarray. We have guests for dinner so as soon as you get back you need to start that."

"I can pick up Thomas," Mary finally decides to chime in. The look she receives from her Mother is venomous.

"No, you have to concentrate on your studies." The older woman entwines her fingers on the table. Mary copies Sarah, avoiding the limelight and concentrating on her bowl rather than the evilness of her mother's glare. "You girls need to get back to doing as your told when you're told. We may have slipped slightly with our Abnegation values during our predicaments, but my plan is to reintroduce our offers of selflessness slowly. Starting today with what I have planned for you, Sarah. Remember, small gestures, like bricks to a house, can rebuild your reputation even if you decide you have other plans."  
"We have had enough trouble over the past weeks, and I think it's time we finally fell back into some sort of routine. It's more important than ever because Sarah will pass initiation soon and become a full member."

"But Sarah will be going –" Mary begins and Sarah snaps her head up, shaking her head.

"That is up to Mr. Coulter. I think we are all adult enough to get along now. And…" When she hesitates, Sarah meets her eyes. "…though there may be times it doesn't feel like it, I love you girls. I am only doing what's best for you." She exhales sharply. "I will support whatever decision you make as along as its agreeable."

"You _and_ John?" Sarah peers down the end of her nose skeptically while crossing her arms.

"Your _Father_ , Sarah. Yes. We have been discussing it. We are tired of fighting with you, and with what happened to Lizzie, we want you to be able to confide in us."

Mary can't help but look between the two women who sit on either side of the table. Each one with an air of distrust and discomfort with each other, even after what their Mother has just said. For a second she thinks neither will cave their stand-off until Sarah dips her head a little.

Her Mother reaches out slowly and touches Sarah's hand making the young Abnegation startle. "About anything." Their gaze lingers on each other for a long moment till the older woman drags her hand away, grunting in discomfort from her leg and the small gesture.

With that, the moment is gone and they continue to eat their breakfast. Without looking up her Mother says quietly, "Eat your breakfast, Mary. Don't slouch."

* * *

Eric kneels beside the Dauntless soldier in position who is holding up his heavy rifle effortlessly.

"Open fire," he commands quietly, buzzing with the thrill of the oncoming onslaught. When the soldier doesn't, Eric glares at the man. "You deaf?"

"There are women-"

"Factionless," he cuts him off sharply. "And you're about to join them down there in a minute if you don't follow orders and keep questioning me." He nods pointedly to the factionless mulling about their business in the open field past the tree line and the grassy bank.

Wayne, also in position with his rifle beside them, snickers. "Just give me the word, boss."

"May I remind you that this group overturned a Dauntless truck last night and killed one of us," Eric sneers to the soldier, "and one of those _women_ is quite possibly the culprit. Their actions have consequences."

The soldier rubs his forehead quickly, shifting to look down the barrel of his rifle. But he still doesn't fire.

Eric shoves him roughly, grabs his rifle and then aims. "On my mark." He orders Wayne. "We need this done efficiently as possible. Remember that." He traces a woman with guns clipped to her belt. " _Bingo,_ " he mumbles to himself, the cross branching out just a few feet in front of her intended path.

He squeezes lightly while holding the rifle steady and watches with grim satisfaction how the side of the woman's face gets blown off. When her body hits the floor, it's like he has disturbed an ants nest, and a whole fury of life erupts.

" _Would you look at that,_ " Wayne says lowly, almost in awe, then instantly rains down a full clip without fault.

"Demolish the camp," Eric orders, and the rest of their group behind them begin to move down the bank. Pulling out the small hand-held on his leg, he points it to the soldiers head that failed his command. "Better luck next time." And he then pulls the trigger.

* * *

The front door swings open with a loud bang, announcing their father's arrival. Mary's heart skips a beat, still terrified of any sudden activity. She feels the instant awkwardness when she follows his eyes to Sarah, then almost laughs at the sight of his bandaged and broken fingers.

Although there has been a brief discussion at the table that morning, they haven't really yet experienced the real state of mind of their father. And for that reason, Mary watches him cautiously.

But when he steps inside the house, she sees that he isn't alone. He's followed by some chubby graying guy and his wife who is practically the spitting image of him. But most noticeably, two of their sons that appear one or two years older than her. Mary stands, smiling in welcome. Her eyes wander to Sarah who is already leaving for the kitchen. No more than two seconds later she brings more plates to the table.

"Jill and Harry Carpenter with their two sons, Brad and Cooper," her Father announces. They all exchange their welcomes quickly, avoiding the stagnant air in the room.

For the second time in her life - apart from probably being a toddler sharing their toys - Mary feels jealous. Not only do the two boys sit on either side of Sarah, leaving Mary at the end with the chubby guy next to her, but the boys also practically swoon. Especially when it's mentioned that Sarah has cooked the dinner. And Sarah has been at Dauntless. And Sarah is about to pass on Saturday - something she has in common with Brad.

Mary excuses herself from the table to use the bathroom because the audacious thoughts also make her feel guilty. Instead of actually going to the bathroom, she slips into the bedroom to find her phone and squints at the bright light as it comes to life in her hand.

She has received only one message -from Wayne. " _Not long till Sunday, beautiful,_ " it reads, and she smiles to herself.

Slowly, she types out a careful message. " _I can't wait. This dinner sucks_."

A few seconds later she receives another message, announced by a sharp ping, and she scuffles, trying to stifle the sound. " _What dinner? Are there guys there? Should I be jealous_?"

" _Not of me_." Loud laughter has her stuffing the phone under the pillow and tiptoeing back to the stairs.

* * *

Sarah slips on her jacket while her Mother still prattles on. "Make sure you get carrots. It's almost full blown winter now so we'll be eating plenty of hotpots the next few days." Sarah doesn't acknowledge her while she tugs on the back of her boots, almost falling forward in the process. "Get as much fruit as you can. We have plentiful points so that shouldn't be a worry."

"Okay." She picks up the wicker basket by the door. "See you in a bit." She says, not looking back and thankful for a more productive morning then laundry service.

She lets her thoughts wander as she makes her way to the Abnegation parade of food stalls, but tries to keep them blank. It may have been raining the last two days, but today it is clear with a pure blue sky above. Unfortunately, the cloudless sky makes it colder. Her breath coils visibly out in front of her, and goose bumps appear on her legs despite her stockings.

She greets a few people as she passes, seeing the line of seven or eight different stalls ahead of her. The last time she had done this was with her parents years ago, and now here she is, doing the shopping on her own. It is kind of thrilling, and that thought makes her laugh a little to herself.

"Ma'am," an older Abnegation man greets her, his face wrinkled but friendly.

"Good morning." She passes him a list of vegetables and watches him go about his business filling clear bags. When he's finished, he looks at her expectantly. "Bennett," she tells him her last name so he can check off the points.

"Good day," he nods, moving onto the person waiting behind her.

She scours along the crates, tracing colorful fruit with her stomach rumbling slightly and her mouth watering. Bright red apples grab her attention. Eric liked green. He only ever has green. She picks one up, studying it. Would her parents notice a loss of a point over an apple?

"Sarah." The apple is plucked from her hand and she turns in surprise to see Eric standing directly behind her. "Weren't thinking about stealing it, were you?"

"Hello, Eric." She cranes her neck to look up at him. He appears completely alert and energetic, his signature smirk firmly in place. Her eyes roam appreciatively over his Dauntless uniform before meeting his again. "What are you doing here?" She spots other Dauntless roaming around in the background.

"Heard you were gonna be here through the grapevine." He takes a large bite out of the apple, passing it back to her and the stall owner doesn't even open his mouth to protest. Instead, the old man quickly ducks away, moving onto the next customer. "Seems you had an interesting night."

"I was at home," she shrugs as she moves down the crates of fruit, and he stays beside her. "It was hardly-"

"Careful," he snarls. "Speak very carefully now, Sarah." She frowns up at him. "Don't take me for a fool."

She chuckles nervously. "What are you talking about?" At first, she thinks that he might be joking since she doesn't have any idea what he could be insinuating. But then she notices him biting the inside of his cheek until his features relax somewhat after a lengthy pause.

"I thought I warned you about talking to other men." The words are almost spat out but in a quiet tone.

"I haven't…" She trails off when the realization hits her. "I couldn't do anything about that. They came to my family home, Eric." His hand shoots out, grabs her wrist and squeezes tightly. She tries to pull back but he won't let go. "You're hurting me."

"Don't lie."

"Are you mad?" She yanks away one final time just and he lets go. If he didn't grab her arm to stop her momentum she would probably be on the ground. She huffs as she hits his chest and he caresses the underside of her jaw, tilting her head up.

He wonders how she would feel about living her life behind glass. He had an idea to keep her like that. All to himself. He had a day left till his brutality of his possessive complex could finally rear its ugly head. He _had to_ keep himself in check before that but his restraint was waning.

There had been no previous intention to see Sarah until Saturday for that very reason. But having heard from Wayne and about their dinner guest party, he couldn't leave it another minute and got Wayne to find out exactly what Sarah was ordered to do that morning so he could find some feasible way to obtain her.  
Now Eric is stuck on whether to let her go back home or just hijack the situation and take her back to Dauntless. Especially when he runs a thumb across her lower lip and she's staring back up at him.  
She looks like she wants answers, or maybe, for him to say something.

" _Were you thinking about me_?" he asks quietly in a husky voice. His fingers keep her head tilted so she turn away. Her cheeks blush a pretty shade of pink and she keeps her eyes focused elsewhere.

"When?"

Eric brings her hand up that is still clutching the apple, shaking it from her hand and it bounces across the graveled walkway.

"A little," she confesses. "You.. eh… only have green apples. And I like red apples." She swallows.

"Is that so?" He drops his hand away, leering slightly, and takes a step back. "Go, Sarah," he dismisses her as he turns around.

"Wait," she says defiantly and he prickles with excitement. "Tomorrow?"

"You're mine," Eric smiles toothily over his shoulder, striding back towards one of his units.

Sarah snaps herself from the thought and peers to a group of young girls who are staring at her, then bustles herself away in an awkward hot flurry.

* * *

Sarah's fate has finally been decided. There was no questioning. If she doesn't want to go with him, he would find a way to keep her there, she is sure of it. And if she does go with Eric, she doesn't know what the future would hold for her.

After passing initiation there won't be any obligation anymore to tend to her family. They would have to find some sort of caretaker to take her place to look after her Mother and to babysit Thomas which falls under council rules anyway. It only doesn't fall under that rule at the moment because she still is regarded as a sufficient adult in initiation without studies – Which means that Mary is also off the hook.

Eric would love that. But what made her suspicious is how Eric knew about last night. And she thinks she knows.  
Mary wanders into the room casually, sitting on the side of her bed facing away from Sarah. The light of her phone glows on her face.

"I saw Eric today." Sarah rolls over and rests her head in her hand. Mary just hums. "He asked me about the dinner party last night." Mary then lifts her head and stiffens. "How did he know, Mary?"

Her sister turns slowly and grimaces. "I may have sent a message to Wayne-"

"Mary!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't think!"

"Why are you messaging Wayne?!" She sits up fully, makes her way to her sister's bed and holds out her hand. "Let me see your phone."

"No!"

"A-ha, so you do have something to hide, then?" Sarah raises her brows in accusation. "You told Wayne about last night and he told Eric. Thanks a lot."

"I didn't know he would."

Sarah throws her hands in the air. "Of course he would! What is Wayne messaging you? Are you messaging him right _now_?" She jumps on the bed and grabs at the phone. "Give it to me."

They fight over it for a minute, and Sarah finally gets her hands wrapped around it. She jumps back to her bed and starts to browse through lines and lines of messages.

"Sarah, you can't just take my phone like that!" But as Mary tries to get to her, her leg gets tangled in the sheets and she drops down beside the bed with a thud.

"I can. You're my little sister!" She reads as quickly as she can with the delay Mary has caused herself. "Mary, what are all these messages?"

"We like each other."

"He's too old for you! You've known him three—" She gasps. "Please tell me you haven't slept together."

"No, Sarah. Because unlike you, I want to be married." Mary instantly recoils. "I didn't mean that."

Sarah nods. She stops reading and puts the phone down for Mary to take. "No. You're right. I haven't set a good example. I literally can't say anything without contradicting myself. But Mary, _please_ listen to me. Wayne…isn't good."

"You're telling me that Eric is?"

"No, he's not. But I know that. That's the difference. Also, you're _so_ young."

"I'll be seventeen in three months."

"What about joining the council?" Sarah asks.

"I can still do that."

"Not without this situation tainting you. Mary, please…"

"I like him, Sarah," Mary says with meaning. "I really like him. He tells me nice things. Looks out for me. Messages me every day." She crawls up from the floor and gets into Sarah's bed. "I've never once knocked your situation. Please don't question mine." She grips her hand softly. "There's something about Dauntless…"

"Stop."

"There has to be something you like about Dauntless or Eric, otherwise you would put up more of a fight. I know you like the back of my hand."

"There isn't."

"You're lying." Sarah tries to hide under the covers, but Mary wiggles up behind her, spooning her so she can't get away. "You've never lied to me before so blatantly."

Sarah wonders if her little sister knows about her lying before, but how could she? "We just have sex, Mary. That's all it is. Sex. There is no special bond or connection. He has some fascination with me – which I've accepted. And we just have sex. He uses me."

"But still, you stay."

"Because… I have to," Sarah huffs.

"Lie number one thousand."

"Fine. It's good sex. He makes me forget. He knows what I'm thinking. He takes away my worries and pain," she rambles on. She might as well, everything else is now out in the open. "He won't leave me alone. I'm waiting for him to get bored. Like I have done since day one."

Mary snorts behind her. "You're so blind. The way he looks at you is enough for me to see some type of connection there. You're so silly."

"He looks at everyone like that. That's Eric."

"No. He's always touching you! Always. Whenever he can. He protects you. He came to find us in the factionless zone. He picks you up and drops you off. That's _caring_."

"But he's also dangerous," Sarah says adamantly. "He's unpredictable. Jealous. Vicious. Threatening. Frightening. He kills people. He gets what he wants and if he doesn't get it, he probably would kill for it without even doubting himself."

"He's Dauntless."

"That's a role, not an excuse." Sarah can feel the tears and blinks them back. "Just go back to bed, Mary. My situation with Eric shouldn't be sort after. It isn't a fairytale. He won't change. He's incapable of change. Please. Let's just drop this." She wishes the ground would swallow her up.

"No, I'm not going." Mary holds her tighter and Sarah breaks, her whole body shuddering as she cries.

" _I let him in_."

* * *

The blue lights blink and flash in Eric's eyes as he makes his way towards the makeshift bar that's been put up by some of the Dauntless.

As expected, there is always an excuse for some sort of party. Tonight just so happens to be that the newcomers are going to be full-fledged Dauntless members tomorrow.

He is handed a drink instantly and turns, sipping slowly as he glares at the chaos.

"Great isn't it," a female voice snaps him from his scouring and he drops a look down, rolling his eyes.

"Go away."

Nina laughs. "What happened to you, Eric? You used to be fun."

"So did you." He swirls the drink in his cup, knocks it back and revels in the lingering taste. "Not anymore," he quips.

"You've acquired new tastes?" She moves behind him slowly, dragging her hand across his shoulder, and he keeps his eyes ahead of him.

"Something like that."

Nina stops next to him, her body facing the same way as his, and she huffs. "What can you possibly want from a boring gray, Eric? You can't possibly like her?"

"I could ask myself the same question about you. What can I possibly want from you? Works both ways," his voice drones, bored with this subject of conversation.

"My friends take the piss. They see you with her, and they laugh at me."

"Boo fucking hoo. Maybe you should make new friends?" He tries to move away and she grabs his arm, quickly whipping it away when he frowns down at it.

"Look." She hesitates, her dark eyes framed in make-up stuttering to the floor. "You could have us both."

Eric rubs the bridge of his nose as he steps closer and Nina's spine straightens when she looks up at him. "Get it through your thick skull: you are nothing to me. You never were."

"But she is?"

"Whatever she is, she's taken your place. Get the fuck over it." But his sight does drop to her cleavage.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Eric laughs at her, shaking his head. The girl was playing with fire. "I know you want to fuck me, but you think I'll out it to your little stiff and hurt her feelings." He bites his lip, peering off into the crowd and Nina rushes, trying to keep his attention. "I can be quiet." He scoffs casually and she moves closer, her fingers tugging on his belt buckle. "For old times' sake."

Eric grabs her hand painfully. And then he smirks, for a second fear flashes in her eyes and it stokes him. "Okay." If that how she wants it.

* * *

Nina is making some weird gasping, choking noise, gripping her throat which he had his hands wrapped around a minute ago. She looks up at him with tears streaking down her face, her body bare, crumpled on the floor, cowering from him.

He zips his flies, crouching down to her level and patting her head as she whimpers in fright. "That's a warning, Nina. Stay away from me."

"You- you called me Sarah." Nina wheezes. "You-you…" She coughs suddenly and it gives him time to roam over the marks of his hands on her body. It suited her better, maybe even complimented her slightly.  
"It was her. You were fucking me but it was her." She sobs. "Do you do this to her?" The woman's voice breaks into a squeak.

He grabs a fistful of her hair, pulling on it painfully. Accusations didn't sit well with him. Especially accusations coming from such a whore as herself. And lastly, he still hadn't forgotten about her claiming he was scared. He'd killed for less.

He yanks the bitches head to the side to hiss the words threateningly in her ear. "Did you really think that this was going to go differently?" Nina just stares wide-eyed up at him in fright when he tilts his head back, pouting at her mockingly.  
"Tell me I'm scared again…go on…" Eric shakes the locks of hair in his grasp quickly to rattle her but she doesn't say anything. "Clever girl." His hand trembles as he fights the inner urge to snap her fucking neck.

He straightens himself out, dusting his jacket off. "You took it like a bitch, Nina." Eric laughs throatily, seeing himself out and leaving the damaged woman still trying to catch her breath.

Fucks given: None.

* * *

It's the next day and Sarah received a simple message from Eric saying 'Congratulations,' early that morning.

It was enough confirmation as any and their Mother took it upon herself to head a family meal for the occasion that evening. Though, it seemed Mary cooked most of it because their Mother mainly complained from the dining table at the time.

"Make us proud." John finally announces, holding his glass of water up and nodding before taking a sip.

The room is dimly lit and just one bulb hangs overhead, lighting the table and covering all other surroundings in an uncanny darkness. Mary smiles at Sarah across the table and the elation in her heart causes her to beam back at her. She felt proud. She'd made it.

From day one she always saw herself failing. Even thought of herself becoming factionless if she didn't make it out of Dauntless alive. And here she was. She'd never accomplished anything in her life. This was a first.

Sarah's stomach growls as she slices through her roasted vegetables, bringing the fork up to her mouth. But a rap on the door has everyone freeze and look at each other. Her Mother huffs. She can hear two male voices muffled through the door.  
"I'll get it." She stands, thinking it may be Eric. But who was the other voice?

She opens the door to two tall and broad men dressed in black. Both share a similar expression at first, until Eric looks down her body and Wayne smiles toothily, leaning up against the frame. "Surprise," Wayne says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hello, Sarah." Eric's voice is husky while moving into the room, and an approving smugness is etched on one side of lips. He presumptuously leers down at her ignoring the stares of the others. "I hope we're not interrupting." His blown pupils momentarily catch her breath, his eyes never leaving hers. They both know they won't be turned away, even if they were imposing.

Wayne walks to the table and acquaints himself quickly with her parents, plonking down into the seat next to Mary after their Father shakes his hand.

Eric reaches out, taking his time and touching the side of Sarah's face as if it was the first time he'd ever seen her. His caress is tender, the pad of his finger coarse as he trails the line of her cheekbone. There's something about his expression she can't put her finger on, and while stuck on that thought she forgets exactly where she is.

"Join us." John calls and Sarah grows warm, turning away shyly from him and taking a seat back at the table.

"We weren't expecting you to personally visit." Her Mother's tone is dubious, but Eric doesn't bat an eyelid. He traces John's movements towards the kitchen and back again instead, still studying thoroughly as plates are set in front of him and lingering for a long time on John's bandaged hand.

Sarah can't help but stare at the side of his face, taking in each feature. She still had to tilt her head to look up at him even when sitting.  
Whether he was a decent person - which was an entirely questionable subject; she couldn't help but admit he was noticeably handsome. He also smelt good too. The awareness was somewhat troubling that she associated with him so freely when before she couldn't stand to even be in his presence.

"No offense, but we were in the area already seeing to something. Thought we'd drop by." Eric's thigh brushes up against hers and he smiles when he catches her ogling at him. "I also thought you'd be interested in meeting Wayne, who Mary works for. And I hoped there would be no hard feelings, John."

"It's not permanent." John rushes to say, trying to drop it after his miserable fail to actively fight against Eric before.

"It's a pleasure." Their Mother hastily remarks to change the subject but both the Dauntless Leader's are smiling. "And what's your position in Dauntless, Wayne?"

Eric grips Sarah's thigh, dragging her that ever bit closer even though there was no room between them. He leaves his hand there, greedily circling tantalizing patterns against her leg. It oozed possession. And he thoroughly knew what he was doing to her.

John serves their food, sitting down and waiting as Wayne leans on his elbows, chewing a piece of the meal he'd swiped like a typical Dauntless. "I'm a Leader. Though I'm not as highly ranked as Eric here."

"Know your place." Eric mocks and Wayne laughs him off.

"When Eric has too much on I usually take some of the load. I've been watching the initiates, working on some of the skirmishes to control the factionless. Easy peasy stuff… Mary has been a great help." Wayne gyrates on the bench, giving Mary the once over and her sister blushes shamelessly.

Wayne's too loud, too casual. He also lacked decent manners and Sarah finds herself scowling at him. She didn't trust him.

" _Eat your food_ ," Eric whispers when Wayne – the loudmouth, launches into an in-depth run down of his day to day schedule and his future agendas.

" _Why is he here_?" She swallows when he leans towards her. " _He's been messaging my sister. I don't like it._ " A loud bark of laughter erupts on the table and Sarah has missed Wayne's joke completely. She finds his voice irritating more than anything.

" _And_? _They do what they like. Who are you to get involved_?" He shrugs it off, getting closer. " _I was thinking about you last night_ …" He decides to drawl slowly against her ear, completely wiping her thoughts on Wayne. " _Every. Fucking. Piece. Of you_." Her legs instantly feel weak, even while sitting.

" _You were_?" He just hums softly.

"We heard about the demolishment of the railway factionless close to here. We feel a lot safer now, thank you, from us and the rest of Abnegation." John speaks to both of the Dauntless Leaders. "Is this what you're working on? We've heard of the comings and goings of armed soldiers up towards Amity. I hate to say it but it had frightened some of the people. It was mentioned in one of the council meetings and we had to take the time to reassure there was no oncoming attack, as daft as it sounds."

"We are taking each camp out swiftly and securely as possible," Eric responds. "It's becoming more and more difficult to differentiate between civilian camps and armed. They use woman and children to try and conceal themselves. But in the long run, it is their loss. We can't hesitate anymore."

"Yeah, the bastards overturned a Dauntless truck two days ago. Killed some of our soldiers in the process." Wayne pipes in, taking a bread roll from the middle of the table. "Get me the butter, babe." He asks Mary, and giddily the girl melts on his little recognition.

"That's awful!" Her Mother wails.

"It is. But Eric lead the attack and it ended quickly." Wayne chews loudly. Sarah finds herself grinding her teeth through her annoyance, but the revelation of Eric heading an attack on the factionless strikes her.

"You did?" Sarah looks up at him.

"Yes. I did. It's my job, sweetheart." He rolls his eyes.

"I didn't know you were actually going out there." She mumbles unsurely, dropping her hands into her lap, embarrassed she'd even uttered her thoughts.

"Would you try to stop me if you did?"

"No. I just mean-" She stops when his hand finds hers and he drags it to his lap. Her head snaps up to see if anyone had noticed and only Wayne winks at her.

"Eat," Eric commands again, loudly this time and she obliges one-handedly.

"Jeanine isn't happy with the council. She's been rather… _accusing_." John continues.

"Let's be honest, what _is_ Jeanine happy with? That woman has caused more hassle than what she's worth." Eric scoffs. "Sarah here, suggested we get rid of her." He gives her raised brow and the food in her mouth becomes dry as she swallows.

"No. Eric suggested something and I asked why he hadn't taken some kind of action."

"How outspoken of you, Sarah." Her mother glowers.

"It was riveting." He tickles her palm. "That's why I'm taking her back to Dauntless. What would I do without my voice of reason following my every move?" Wayne snorts into his glass of water, laughing at Eric.

John clears his throat quickly. "Well, I think we should all say congratulations to Sarah as we're all here."  
At the same time, her mother reaches over, leaning into her and whispering. " _We are here if you need us_. _About anything_ …" Sarah can't help but frown. There was some underlying reason she kept reaching out to her and she hadn't quite figured it out. " _Remember that_."

"Thank you."

"Sarah, get your stuff." Eric squeezes her hand. She hesitates to look at her family and Wayne's beady eyes on her for a minute. No one says anything, so she stands, removing her legs from the bench. It's silent as she walks away and she twirls the cuffs of her cardigan nervously, suddenly feeling how she did back at the start when Eric first took her away, but something was… different, about her.

The conversation kicks back up and she hurries up the steps, going into the room she and Mary shared. It's colder up there than downstairs, and dim too, just the moonlight through the window. She flicks on the lamp, finding her bag under her bed and packing anything she could find. She holds up her nightwear, the same one from Amity that Eric liked and begins folding it neatly to place in her bag.

Just as she hears the squeaking floorboard she's spun from behind by large, warm hands that then slide inside her cardigan, pulling her closer. "Eric…" She says breathlessly from fright, his eyes glowing from the light in the room and he looks dangerous like this. She braces her hands against his chest, leaning backward to create some sort of distance to try and understand his purpose. "Do my parents know you're up here?"

"Of course they do, Sarah." He licks his bottom lip, knocking her hands away and his fingers slide onto the back of her neck, pulling her towards him and briefly their lips touch. He groans, catching her bottom lip between his teeth. "Hurry up. Though, I always wanted to fuck you in your family home." He ravenously begins feasting down her jaw, trailing his mouth down her neck.

"Eric, wait…" Sarah shuts her eyes though, it felt too good to push him away. She'd missed this. Missed the feel of him taking over.  
A hand runs down her side, trailing her thigh and lifting up her leg as he pushes her back onto the bed. He keeps himself situated between her legs, his mouth still on her throat, tongue swirling, teeth biting the skin.

She can feel him pawing to get under her skirt, lifting it up with a short growl and his handling becoming rough and deliberate. His fingers skim past the band of underwear, entering her hastily and begin pumping. As she tries to moan from his suddenness, he covers her mouth with his, swallowing it.

Eric props himself up to look at her face but she's too lost, her eyes hooded, lips plump from his assault. " _Stunning_ …" She thinks she hears him whisper while leaning back down to lick her neck. His words only intensify the buzzing shocks of pleasure rippling out from every place he touched her.  
The heaviness of his weight, pinning her down as he does as he pleases was something she enjoyed and craved. The thought alone was sometimes enough to get her off.

Eric changes the position of his fingers, stroking her most delicious spot as her hips buck and she grips his collar, hearing him chuckle to himself but she doesn't care.

"Congratulations, Sarah."

On his voice, she lets herself go shamelessly, his mouth quickly muffling hers.

Eric waits till she regains her breath before letting her legs slump. She idly strokes his jaw, still gripping his collar but loosely, her movements sated and gentle. The dainty creature foolishly, only in these moments, gave him the thought that perhaps it wasn't just sex or lust. And if he cared enough, maybe he would feel guilty about using Nina as some type of fantasy.

But it's also in times like this that he knows she'll never take another, and for a split second, he almost vows the same.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N

Sorry this is a day late, but it's a monster chap considering.

Again, a run down of the thank yous for the asks, reviews and people who helped. You guys are amazing ;)

There will be no update next Sunday so this will have to tide you over until the next!

Also on my Tumblr is a great image of Sarah and Eric a friend of mine made and various other things, check it out if you're interested!

Enjoy! Have a great week.

* * *

Eric walks into the apartment first, throwing a bunch of keys on the kitchen counter and immediately begins stripping off his jacket.  
Sarah steps inside the doorway, bag held in her hands in front of her.

It wasn't so much a nervousness but an awareness of the unknown that has her hesitate.  
She just didn't particularly know what was going to happen between then and next week. She didn't know what he had in mind for her job wise. She'd passed and was a full member of Abnegation, but the excitement she had earlier had dwindled to barely anything because her future prospects were still technically the same.  
Perhaps it was the thought that inside this place with him, it felt too normal. Like nothing had really changed at all; like she was the same girl walking in here exactly as she did before caught in some twisted groundhog day timeline that continuously played itself out.

The apartment is cold. Unlived in. There isn't a trace of mess or dust and for a minute she feels the sudden wave of homesickness mixed in with steadfast and vicious claustrophobia. The whole of Eric's apartment was probably the same size of their entire floor plan back home, if not bigger. It didn't make sense to feel so enclosed like she did.

"Shut the door." Her eyes snap to his and he's frowning. It softens somewhat when he begins to move towards her. "Sarah…" The building static that pulses in her head, causing her body to sweat, her breathing to quicken, suddenly breaks to a deft silence, and she moves towards him allowing the door to close.

"It's cold in here." Is the first thing that springs to mind when he stops centimeters from her. Without his jacket, Eric always appeared more menacing because of how sculpted his body looked. From his biceps to prominent abdominals that his shirt clung to; to the way he held himself above it all, was unarguable. He was massive, and especially so compared to her. But she doesn't let it faze her.

"Don't worry about that." Eric reaches to the back of her head, pulling the band out and allowing her hair to tousle down her back. Next, he takes the bag from her hand, dumping it to the side, then works on removing her jacket. "An official Abnegation now." He murmurs while continuing to discard her clothing as if she was entirely incapable. "Do you feel accomplished?" His gray eyes keep a hold of hers for longer than necessary with a smug smirk on his face.

"I'm…overwhelmed."

"Yes, because being Abnegation is so overwhelming." He scoffs.

With her jacket and cardigan removed he grips the bottom of her skirt, lifting it. "That's not it…" She puts her arms in the air as he lifts it over her head. "I just thought I'm meant to feel something different."

"Like what?" But Eric is now looking at her breasts, down to her hips. She was used to how brazen he was. There was no embarrassment or shame for either of them. He'd seen her numerous times without clothes on and knew every part of her body.

"Happy." She watches him suck his bottom lip between his teeth before reaching out for her hand, leading her forwards slowly and towards the bedroom.

They don't stop there and continue inside the bathroom. He discards his shirt, unbuckling his pants and dropping them to the floor without a second thought.

Sarah shivers slightly, crossing her arms in front of her as he starts up the shower. As soon as it appears hot enough with the steam misting the mirror she slips down her underwear and allows him to pull her inside the cubicle.

"I can make you happy." He eventually tells her as the water cascades down their skin. Eric tugs her towards him, both hands cupping her face, his thumbs wiping her cheeks as if he was trying to wash invisible particles of Abnegation away. But at the same time, it was like he was scanning her, checking to see if she had changed within her days away.

Sarah's eyes appear distant as she looks up only briefly, then dropping to the tiled cubicle floor. It portrays her being wrapped in escalating thoughts. Eric could tell that just by the shyness. The way she would avoid him. As if, if she dared to look long enough, he'd figure out exactly what she's thinking. And she wasn't wrong.

Ignoring her gloominess, he grabs a bottle of soap, washing her hair first then every other part of her. His body pulses as she unguardedly let him, sometimes almost sighing. It was peculiar watching someone obediently trust him. Men feared him and women were usually scared or enticed. Sarah, placidly, simply and harmlessly trusted him. She shouldn't, he rightfully knew that. And sometimes her foolish trust was replaced by dislike or fear, but that was only momentarily. She certainly didn't hate him like she had claimed.

Eric washes quickly and as the bubbles wash away and the warmth has raised their temperature, she seems to relax a little more and it was exactly what he wanted. "I told you before. I can give you most, but not all."

"What do you want with me? Why am I here, Eric?"

"Don't ask stupid questions." Sarah's breath hitches in her throat and he huffs. "I want you here. Is that what you want me to say?" She tries to avoid his eyes so he goes for the kill, grazing his lips against hers, tasting the shower water and some erotic poison so evidently her. "That I need you here." He feels small hands caress his side, the nails slightly digging into his skin and he tilts her head back by her golden hair, going for the throat. "Do you like it when I talk to you like this?" Eric bites her, hard. Leaving his teeth marks for a later reminder.

Sarah's nails break the skin of his side in retaliation and he hisses. "Eric…" She murmurs, his head dipping, trailing down the valley of her breasts and taking one nipple into his mouth. – Like he wanted to earlier. She can't seem to say anything else and slides her fingers through the buzz cut sides of his hair, tugging his head up to hers where she kisses him, sweetly, pushing herself against him. He smiles against her mouth, watching her face briefly. She was soft. Too gentle. It made a change to their usual assaults or attempts and for once he lets Sarah lead him. Just to see what she would do.

Stopping for a split second, he peers into hooded sapphire eyes, close to losing his restraint because everything was too leisurely and affectionate for his taste. However, slowly she moves towards him, her hands still either side of his head when she surprisingly uses her teeth on his lower lip, gently applying pressure and drawing it slightly back with her as she moves away.

Eric exhales, sharply.

And before he can get over the unusual happenings, she's leaving the cubicle, grabbing a towel and drying herself.

He follows her curiously, toweling himself off just enough, running it over his head and caught by her silhouette, pale in the dim lighting as she turns, lying back on the edge of the bed and propped back on her elbows. The towel in his hand is discarded to the floor. He can't help himself.

Closing the distance and trailing his large palms up her thighs, he crouches down.

"What are you-"

Eric chuckles, placing his mouth on her sex, pushing her legs wider then eventually wrenching them over his shoulders. Sarah's eyes widen, till she loses herself, her head falling back, revealing the insipid flesh of her throat. The sight was extraordinary as Eric gazed up from his position.

Letting her teeter on a fine edge with mumbled ramblings of his name and airy breaths, he begins trailing up her stomach, planting light kisses till he reaches her neck. She whines till he's hovering over her body. And slowly, he pushes inside of her.

"Sarah," He tries to get her attention while thrusting slowly, scoffing to himself as she begins grabbing his shoulder. "Sarah."

"Don't stop."

"Tell me you missed me." She only hums. "Tell me." Eric clicks his tongue disapprovingly, not meeting her coaxing hips anymore. "I want to hear it."

"Yes." She remarks without hesitation.

"Are you happy right now?"

"Yes. Eric, please can you-"

"Mean it." He licks his lip smugly, capturing a remnant of her still coating his mouth. "I can sure taste it…" He whispers.

"You. You. I want you." It sounds nothing other than desperate.

"Clever girl." Rolling, he pulls her with him. She straddles his hips, fucking him with a new sense of purpose while he holds her small waist, stroking her ribcage, grabbing her breasts at any opportunity. Once again, he's lost to the magnificent sight of something so angelic lose itself to its wanton desires. And she did so incredibly well. Everything she knew was because of him. She never had an idea of anything different. Her hips moved a certain way, pleasuring herself and consuming him. Her eyes grew dark, devilish and sultry. The whole characteristics of some typical stiff disappear. But what he most enjoyed is that she forgot who she was but not who she was fucking.

When she comes, she comes hard.  
Dragging him with her, it causes him to bolt upright, a string of profanities and her name along with requests for her to keep at it till the high had all but dissipated.  
All of it poured out against her skin, tainting it. Like black paint merged with white; it claimed it, smothered it and grew.

Eric instantly regrets Nina.

Slouching forward against him, she's exhausted, her eyes already closed and Eric allows himself to hold her head to his chest as they flop backward, savoring the small lapsing moment.

With delicate hands gripping the mounds of muscle on his upper arms, she shivers, sighing. Neither makes the effort to move.

* * *

"Sign here." Eric pushes the blue paper towards her. Even though it was Sunday, Eric was determined to get to his office that morning.

Sarah looks at it for a long while skeptically. "What is it?" There are few worrying technical details and conditions worded sophisticatedly and way too advanced for her. But at the top sits her name and date of birth, the faction she is in and her role - which is left blank.

"Not much different to the one you signed at the beginning." He says coolly, twisting in his chair and thumbing through bountiful colored files with his brows furrowed.

"Why is my job role blank?" He snatches the paper out from under her, eyes fixated at the top of the page.

"Because it doesn't matter," He says while shoving it back.

"Then what is my job role when people ask?"

"Assistant." The words sharp and incredibly blunt. She knows he's getting annoyed.

"Is that allowed?"

Eric sits back in his chair. "Who do you think makes the allowances? Who makes the rules?"

"Um…You?"

He nods slowly as if she was stupid. "Yes, Sarah. And stop questioning me."

She tries to laugh it off, mumbling, "It could be anything, though…"

"Sign the fucking paper. Stop complaining."

"Okay. But I want a copy." She bites her lip, leaning forward and signing her name quickly. Completely ignoring the incredulous look he's giving her.

"What on Earth would _you_ need a copy for?" He says while sighing, the words paining him as he snaps the form away from her and shoving it in a drawer.

"So, I can read through it later."

His expression is evil. But thankfully they are disturbed by a knock on the door and Eric's jaw twitches. " _What the fuck now… Who the fuck is it_ …" He snarls under his breath. "Yes. What?" He shouts a little too loudly. The handle juts down and Mary steps inside with a huge box, the thing almost tumbling out of her arms and Sarah rushes up.

"Here, let me help you. You bring it up here by yourself?"

"I walked it here this morning and only got a chance to bring it up to you now. I tell you, my arms are about to fall off." Mary snorts, about to hand it over to Sarah, but her eyes widen and Eric has somehow managed to cross the room again without even being heard. He takes it, weighing it in his arms.

"What's in it?"

"It's Sarah's stuff from her room. It was getting kicked about and I know there are pictures and things so decided to bring it with me." In thanks, Sarah squeezes her hand. Eric dumps it harshly in the middle of the floor.

"Great…more shit. A never-ending pile of shit," and turns his back to them.

"I have one bag." Sarah retorts, rolling her eyes at Mary. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Her sister's cheeks brighten a little.

"Bye, Mary," Eric calls out and Sarah sighs at his rudeness.

"I-I better get going." Mary smiles briefly, giving Eric a curious look.

"Come see me before you leave?" Sarah still didn't like her now only sister working at Dauntless. But whether she liked it or not, it seemed Mary was staying. And Mary actually _wanted_ to stay.

Mary nods, "I'll try, Wayne's got a load of work for me. I'll see you later if I get a chance."

"I'm sure he has." Eric scoffs while filing something. And Mary couldn't leave any quicker, saying a quick goodbye and completely beetroot.

"Eric!" Sarah snaps his name. "That's my sister."

"An annoying one at that." But he's tapping away on his computer now. It seems if he gets a chance to play around or aggravate someone he gets a whole new lease of life about him. Perhaps it was the way he dealt with stress? Or maybe it took his mind away from everything? …Perhaps he was just a brute.

Sarah kneels down ignoring him and his silly attitude, sitting on her legs and opening the box. First, she pulls out her childhood bear, then a picture that has her wipe the frame and dream over when it was taken. She was sixteen then. The picture making them look somewhat too formal to how they really were. It was the only up to date picture with her brother and sisters. All of them.

What she doesn't know, is that Eric watches her in the corner of his eye, allowing her time to linger in her memories. Interlacing his fingers and sitting forward, a small pang of inappropriate jealousy tingles in the back of his mind. But the past was the past and the future was set in stone.

* * *

"I don't want that." Sarah pushes away the stewed meat, wrinkling her nose up. "Is it spicy?"

"It's beef. It's good for you. Eat it." Eric dips bread into the sauce and she can't look away quick enough.

"No, I'll just eat the bread."

"Do you want something else?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"You didn't eat your breakfast." He points out, scanning the mess hall for a second before divulging on his food again. But his eyes flick up a second time, doing a double-take and Sarah follows his gaze.

Nina's disposing of her plate but she's staring at them, a scowl of revulsion and hatred, especially when she sees Sarah.

But it's not so much her pale complexion or the haughty way she leaves that causes Sarah the inability to look away. It's the marks on her throat.  
She can feel her breathing beginning to increase and Eric burning holes into the side of her face. Only one person was capable. That person directly beside her. The man knew she'd figured it out and was shamelessly waiting for her reaction.  
" _Eric…did you do that_?" She can't look at him, barely able to say the words beyond a whisper.

Eric shoves his tray away, throwing what little bread he had on the discarded plate. "I don't want to lie to you." He says slowly but collectively, keeping his voice to a level that no one else would be able to hear. "So, I won't." Sarah's long eyelashes catch his eye again, but the pain on her face is unmistakable. She almost drains of color in front of him. "I slept with Nina." He watches her head bob a few times, her hands balling into her lap.  
His annoyance only grows with her reaction. He expected something to enflame between them. Her to cry or to ask him questions. To show just a little piece of jealousy or sadness. However, she just looked disappointed.  
"She wasn't getting the message so-"

"Don't." She rolls her lips before speaking. "I-I hope it was worth it. I hope it worked. I hope she got the message. It looks like she did."

Eric scowls. "I'm not going to say sorry. I'm not going to play bat and ball with the 'it meant nothing' pitch and I'm not arguing about it. It happened. I told you the truth. _That's_ what matters." He snarls, checking if anyone overheard as his tone hitched louder momentarily.

"Whatever, Eric."

"Whatever?" If an answer ever annoyed him to the point of pure rage, it was a 'whatever' reply.

"Yeah. Whatever. You do what you want…"

His collectively leaves with the sigh he makes through his nose. "I certainly fucking will do what I want!" Through natural reflex, he grabs her upper arm, yanking her towards him across the bench and she yelps. Cutlery clinks on the table from his sudden movement and Sarah scrunches her eyes closed with his face mere inches from hers. "You hear me? I do _what_ I fucking _want_."

However, her blues are resilient but watery when she defiantly looks up at him. That fire was there again. The one so obvious at the beginning. The one that had him mesmerized "Out of all the people, I can tell you I know that first hand." For a small woman, the words were empowered with meaning.

"Oh, fuck you, Sarah. Play pity party somewhere else."

Suddenly she hiccups. "Gladly." And removes herself before he has enough time to come to terms with her leaving.

 _Fucking bitch. Fucking stupid distracting bitch_.  
The bench is launched backward as he stands, screeching against the concrete floor. He strides out after her, through the double doors of the Mess Hall that slam open. "Don't walk away from me." He wasn't finished. No one _ever_ just walked away from him. He pulls her back again by her arm a little too harshly causing her to stumble. Luckily it was teeming and people were busy around them making a raucous for anyone to really take notice.

"Get your disgusting hands off me!" Eric can see her face as she turns, looking at him as if he was dirt. She's crying, red patches forming on her cheeks. This is what he was expecting, and now it felt insanely wrong at the same time.

"Watch it, stiff. I think you've forgotten who you're talking to."

Sarah stops pulling, stepping closer to him, "You. Are. Pathetic." It takes everything to not swipe her off her feet and he actually lunges half a step to do it. "Go on, Eric." He studies her closely, his eyes flickering to every feature on her face as he grinds his teeth and feels his nails digging into his palm. "Hit me. I know you want to. That's how you deal with things. If it doesn't go your way. If you can't scare it, beat it or sleep with it, you kill it. Go on!" Holding the crippling moment between them, both trying to figure out the next move of the other, Sarah suddenly grimaces, her hand coming up to her temple. " _Oh no_." She drawls. "No." Flailing on the spot but unconsciously gripping onto his jacket to steady herself.

"Your head?" She nods, whimpering in self-sorrow and completely beside herself. "Because you're stressing. You haven't eaten enough." With her going weak through the pain, he tries to pull her along and she shrugs him off, finally finding the strength to lift her head.

"Last night, I didn't mean any of it. You are nothing. You never have been."

It was the way she said it that bristles him more than he'd like to admit. The coldness. The chill reverberating as if at the same time, she was closing him off. And that's what boiled his shit the most.

* * *

Eric watches her sleep from the kitchen bar. It's hitting eight, the sun having already set over an hour ago and there's been no movement since he arrived. In fact, she's in the same position when he left her.

He flicks through a report from the main road of Amity. Two known factionless camps have upped and left with no information on exactly where. Though, that's not what's troubling him as his eyes betray him, staring off into the darkened bedroom.

When the someone raps on his door, he only had to second guess who it was. But before he answers he shuts Sarah away, as not to wake her.

"What can I do you, Mary. Wayne showed you here?"

"I wanted to say goodbye to Sarah." The young Abnegation is looking past him, searching for her in the room.

"She's sick. She's asleep."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed. Anything else?" Mary stays quiet, tensely chewing her cheek. "She's still alive." He purrs longer than he had to after a moment, folding his arms and watching her face inflame.

"It just doesn't sound like her."

Eric shrugs nonchalantly. "She got a little stressed earlier, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"Emotional." He smirks and it appears Mary doesn't trust him. That makes two. "If you don't mind." Eric flicks his head dismissively down the corridor. "Oh…" Eric plays. "Say hello to Wayne for me. I know he's there somewhere." Mary stutters in response, only being able to nod through her embarrassment and sets off quickly. "I won't tell Sarah!" The girl almost trips halfway down the corridor. "Have a _great_ night."

Alone in his apartment, he chuckles to himself again at Mary's expense. That's probably his fault too.  
He shuts the folders on the counter, stacking them neatly together before heading for a shower. Sarah's still passed out when he returns and slowly he slips in, facing away with his back to her.

A nose nuzzles into his back, a leg hooking over his hips. Same old, same old.

* * *

Eric's office is silent. Sarah's writing something and every now and then he would look at her and she would keep herself busy in her work.  
Being who he was, he'd never taken the time to notice she was left-handed or that her writing was slanted and eloquent.

"You can't ignore me forever."

"No, sir." She doesn't even bother to acknowledge him. Adding 'sir' was probably intended to piss him off too.

"Bitterness doesn't suit you."

"No, sir."

"Stop it." He hits her pen away and finally their eyes meet, but she blinks, breaking it and concentrating on something else. "Is your head better?"

"Yes-"

"Call me sir again and I swear to god." Eric slumps back in his chair.

"Mr. Coulter."

"Get out." She begins standing, grabbing her jacket and gray bag. "Fuck it. Sit back down." She sits, her jacket rolled up in her hands. "Listen to me, Sarah. I am _so_ close to throwing you out right now."

"Okay."

"What do you want me to say or do? It happened. Get over it. Because you're beginning to really piss me off."

"I don't want you to do anything. I don't want anything from you. I don't want to be anywhere near you. I only want to go home." Her voice breaks when she says 'home', biting her lip to stop the tremble.

"You are home." He tells her and the first tear slips from her eye. He scoots closer and she watches him carefully, sniffing and wiping her nose with her sleeve.

"I'm not. I should be back in Abnegation."

"You signed on the dotted line. You belong to me now until you are dismissed or informed otherwise. You know that."

"I _do not_ belong to you. I belong to no one." But she's panicking, obviously thinking back to the papers she signed and wondering what exactly was written on them. "I want to sleep somewhere else. As an adult and full member, I have the right-"

"No."

"You can't decide that. I may be tied to you but you can't decide that. I want my own place away from you. Somewhere I can go to-"

"No!" Eric creates distance, slowly on the verge of losing his temper and doesn't want to do something he may regret. His hands twitch and he flexes his fingers.

"Please! Do you want me to beg? Do you want my body? Tell me what it is. Take it and give me something I can call my own. Please."

"Sarah, stop."

"Do you want to sleep next to me at night? Touch me? Tell you lies on request about how much I want you?"

"Enough."

Sarah stands, pointing a finger at him. "It's your fault!" She sobs, scrabbling backward when stands. He can feel himself getting hot. Frustrated. He reaches out suddenly gripping the back of her neck and walking her over to the window. He opens it, the cold air blasting inside and pushes her head out. "Eric!" She slams her hands on the sill, pushing back against him. "Stop." But he pulls out her hairband, throwing it out and she watches it tumble to the concrete floor below. Hands rake through her hair, and he turns her suddenly towards him, holding both wrists painfully and she can't seem to catch her breath.

"The only one lying around here is you, and that's to _yourself_. All this…" He pulls at her clothes. "This gray shit and neat hair are not you. Only I know that. You're you when you are with me. So what I slept with Nina? You and I both know what we really want and why I fucking did it."

Eric watches her swallow, the hysterical vibe he was getting beginning to drain and her eyes remain out the window. "Because I wasn't here…" She speaks quietly.  
"That's not an excuse!" Sarah breaks his hold, marching to her bag and fishing through it. From here he can see her small trembling hands. How completely vulnerable she was.

"What are you doing?" She flicks her hair back ignoring him and grabbing it into a ponytail. "Sarah, no you don't. I forbid you to tie your hair back."

"Forbid me?" She laughs disbelievingly with her back to him.

Sarah is pushed forward against the wall, both hands trapped under his. "You heard me." He hisses spitefully into her ear from behind but she turns her head towards him, her breath escaping in flutters. "You need to cut this shit out."

"Dismiss me then."

"Grow up."

Sarah's hands slip from his and she turns to face him. Eric continues to lean on his arms, caging her in, noticing the way her hands rest on the wall, fingers splayed. She looks tiny like this. Helpless and lost, but defiance still forceful. "I don't know how you think or how you became to be like this. But you made love to someone else. That someone else wasn't me. The way I was brought up, says that _that_ is the end."

Eric's arms grow slack on her words till only one is by her head and he peers down at her sardonically. "Made love? Is that what you think I do? I make _love_ to you?"

"Whatever you want to call it." Her cheeks glow.

"What I did to Nina certainly wasn't love. What we have isn't love. I don't do love. I never have." He leans his body more casually towards her.

"Then I feel sorry for you." Eric plays with the collar of her dress. "I hope you find somebody to love, Eric." Her breath quickens, her heart jackhammering so hard she was sure he could feel it.

"Oh, you do, do you?" He trails over her breasts and to her waist, pulling her to him. And like the senseless fool she is, she allows it. "Because I won't let you go, Sarah."

"You won't allow me to love?"

"Not even when I'm dead." She turns her face when he tries to kiss her. Eric forcefully brings it back, trying again but she pushes against him.

"You're a monster."

"And you're bound to me." Something in the air twists, the room feeling heavy and he strokes her lower lip for a long while. "And you're never going to leave."

* * *

"Now drag the file and dump into that one. It'll ask you to rename it but that's automatic. Usually, it's code-named by the date and time the report was made." Eric watches over Sarah's shoulder. Mainly watching the white arrow scoot across the screen. She lets go of the button of the mouse too early and he snorts reaching to put his hand on hers but she pulls it away quickly before he can.

"I can do it." She tells him coldly with that look she'd had on her face since she'd found out about Nina.  
Sarah was handling it in the only way she knew how; the Abnegation way. Ignoring it happened. Barely talking. Listless eyes and awkwardness.

In fact, that's the most she'd said to him since last night and even that was "Goodnight" sleeping with her back to him. Maybe he should mention that in the end, she curled up unknowingly against him again and how she sighed when he ran his hands down her thigh that was propped over his body. He mused with the idea of travelling further; his fingers had twitched on her flesh, but he'd managed to control himself and save it for another time.

It didn't stop him from jacking off on the thought though that morning. And he was positive she'd heard him. It wasn't like he was subtle.

"Do it then." He retorts quickly, and she does, copying the date and time till they merge into a bar of numbers. Sarah hits save and he watches a small satisfied lift in her lip when it does. His own mouth threatens to respond the same way. It made a change to see something other than loathing sit on her beautiful face.

Sarah's voice snaps him from his thought. "So how do update a report once it's saved?"

"Considering you should already know what file you're looking for. For example:" He covers her hand this time as she seems too consumed and he moves her through the menus. His entire palm enclosed hers. His fingers seeming abominable in comparison.  
Eric subconsciously strokes against the delicate outer skin of her little finger as he talks. "You type in the code name you just made. You right click and press edit, type the shit you want then save as before." She peers down to the papers tucked between her and the keyboard, biting her lip in thought. She traces down a with a fingernail through lines and columns, and when she spots it, she wiggles in her chair happily typing it in. "Always save. Even on other projects, always save."

"Got it." Sarah turns her head to his that's just above her shoulder. "Thank you."

Eric could feel that she didn't want to stay mad at him, but she still hadn't forgiven him. He wondered what would happen if he just kissed her now or threw her upon the desk and made her relent. …Was she thinking the same? Maybe that's what she wanted?

"No problem."

For some reason, the scenario that played in his head felt wrong. However, the aching desire to have a little normalcy was hot in his veins and it was only a matter of time. Patience wasn't his virtue.

* * *

After grabbing a trayful of food, Sarah parts from him, sitting on a lone table by herself without a word.

Eric can feel Wayne's eyes on him from a table on the other side of the room, and when he approaches, Wayne whistles quietly. "Let me guess, she's holding out on you." When he doesn't respond and begins to eat, Wayne scoffs. "She looks pissed."

"Shut the fuck up." Eric finds it hard to chew through his sneer.

"It's Nina, isn't it? She found out you shagged her."

"Sarah isn't stupid. I told her about it."

"How valiant." Wayne jokes and Eric only had look at him. "Lighten up. So tetchy these days." Wayne drops his voice, "Though I can see why…"

Eric finds himself watching Sarah eat alone. Her eyes only stay on the food; she doesn't look up and she chews slowly, lost in thought.

"You've really gone and done it now. I actually think you've broken her. I mean, I haven't seen her throughout her whole time here just _flat out_ pretending you don't exist. You've fucked up…"

"Wayne…" Eric warns him but the guy has gone into full detailed opinion mode, ignoring his underlying threat.

"…possibly could be the only thing that turns those Abnegation girls off. I've noticed it with Mary. The whole infidelity or interest in another woman thing. They fucking hate it." He laughs goofily. "They have some weird fucking ethics and morals. I'd be careful with that one," He points at Sarah. "They have this huge reputation, importance act they put on. The grays." He clarifies and Eric squeezes the fork in his hand, biting his tongue. "…but even still, I think when you do allow her to go back to her life she would _definitely_ be snapped up. I bet she's got some sniffing around in the woodwork. For example those guys at that 'dinner party'"

Eric stops eating, staring at Sarah while Wayne talks.

"She would blow their minds. Imagine all the tricks you've taught her. They'll thank you" He laughs again and Eric feels it sting against his spine. "She'll be calling your name while she fucks them-"

Eric slams the fork down on top of Wayne's hand. His scream emits and echoes throughout the entire Mess hall and everyone drops to silence, some even getting out of their seat and standing in horror.

"What the fuck!" Wayne shrieks, yanking the fork out the top of his hand. His blood pooling on the table, dripping over the metallic surface and all over himself. "What the fuck?" This time Wayne questions, saliva flying out of his mouth through his pain. "Are you fucking serious?"

With a fluid motion, Eric kicks the bench out from under him while standing, grabbing the back of Wayne's head and slamming him on the table. "Shut. The. _Fuck_. Up." Wayne shows mercy with his hands flying up to the side of his head.

"Okay. Okay. Okay."

Eric flicks his eyes up to Sarah who is staring at him, eyes wide. She swallows thickly and his adrenaline begins pumping. He drops Wayne with a shove, ignoring the stares of all the others.

Abandoning his lunch, he strides up to Sarah's table, gazing down at her, watching her brows dip in thought before grabbing her arm and yanking the small abnegation from the bench. "Come with me."

"But-" She tries to protest but he tugs harshly.

They make it to the elevator and it's empty as they scramble inside. In here, he pushes her forcibly up against the mirrored wall, claiming her mouth. He can hear her pants, feel that she doesn't want to push him away. But she tries in a pathetic attempt. "Eric, stop."

"No." The elevator dings on the floor of his apartment and drags her along the corridors till they get to his door. Inside, he grabs the back of her thighs, lifting her up and taking her to the bedroom. "Time to stop fucking about with me, Sarah."

Throwing her on the bed, she clamps her legs together as he leans over. "Stop. Please." The fragility and desperation in her voice obvious as it trembles. Panic sets in because she can see the hollowness of his eyes. How dark they have become.

Eric unhooks his belt, unzipping his flies and Sarah rolls onto her front to crawl away, only to be yanked backward by her thighs till her legs overhang the bed. Her pleated skirt is then lifted and the still, cold air skimming against the exposed flesh suddenly brings on the reality of the situation unraveling in front of her.

"Don't do it." Her voice muffled from being pushed into the sheets of the bed. Her tears sting and her voice is nothing but sobbing. "Eric, don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She cries loudly, unable to catch her breath, repeating she's sorry over and over. "Please. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me."  
The hand on her back still pushes her down and eventually he growls, one that rocks the entire apartment.

Letting her go, she slumps to the floor, balling herself up and tucking her head between both knees. Eric flips the entire bed onto its side. The force so powerful it causes her to scream, scrambling to the furthest wall.

Eric tries to fight the conflict of physical anger, lust, and rationality, all at the same time. But he just sees a never-ending pathway of red. He can barely breathe. He can't think of what action would be more appropriate.

Walking up to her balled-up, tiny frame, he crouches down, fighting the hand that trembles to grab her hair and make the pathetic excuse for a woman look at him. "This is your fault!" He bellows and watches as she cries louder than she had been, flinching at his tone and proximity.

"Yes, okay…It's my fault." She agrees, still not looking at him. That's not what he wanted. "It's my fault." Her shoulders rack and she whimpers to herself.

Rubbing a hand across his face he stands, rushing for the bathroom. Something had to calm him. He had to get away from Sarah.  
He cups his hands in the sink, splashing cold water onto his face, leaning on his arms pretty much like he did the first time when he told her he needed her.  
Looking at himself in the mirror, his thoughts trail tenfold. The poison on his face. The hate. The lack of control. The weakness…

Eric launches a fist into the mirror. Over and over till he can't see himself and the way he was portrayed in it. He hated what he saw. Shards clink down into the basin below and pieces scatter across the floor along with beads of blood from his knuckles.

Then suddenly: Quiet.

The side of his past rears its head; his Erudite. The mechanism that was his brain beginning to click and rotate again.

Treading cautiously to Sarah over shards from the mirror. She is rocking back and forth, whispering. Her skirt above her waist, stockings torn. He leans over, hesitating for a moment before gathering her up in his arms. She weighed nothing.

Taking her from the bedroom to the living area, he falls back into the couch, her face buried into his chest, hands holding onto his jacket.

For how long they sit like this, he doesn't know. But Sarah grows quiet, unmoving, and his head flops backward. Eventually, she lets go of him, turning her head slightly and grabbing his draped arm over her. "You're bleeding." She sniffs. He doesn't make a move and eventually she entwines her fingers with his, playing with his thumb.

Between her humming and the clock ticking, he whispers. "I wouldn't have done it." Whether he was trying to convince himself or her he wasn't sure. "I'll never hurt you again." The sweet humming stops and they sit in silence.

He swears he'll never hurt her again and nor will anyone else.

* * *

There is always a time where a situation would peak. And there was always a time of calm afterward.

Eric referred to the feeling as the same as taking a life. That storm at the beginning where his head and heart felt like it would explode from sadistic excitement. It was almost other-worldly. An out of body sensation. A sensation where his brain would switch off and his Dauntless side would kick in. And it seemed to always feel like he was watching himself through somebody else's eyes. Usually his victims.  
Then there was the point of pulling the trigger and ending it one way or another. The peak was the actual loss of life because from then on it was an all-time low. The deed was done. Buried. Lodged usually in someone's skull.  
Afterward, a sense of quiet and realization about what he'd done: The calm. Which was, quite blandly, nothing.

It was a prime example now.  
Though he and Sarah were amicably coinciding, they weren't the same. It felt like an invisible barrier had slipped between them, and somehow a week had also managed to pass by in that time.  
But that was mainly down to his distractions and heinous work. He was up to his eyes in rivaling complaints from factions and the whereabouts of some of the missing factionless camps. After the days filled with monotonous work, he slipped away to the training room and spent the rest of the evening there and only returning when she was already asleep.  
He preferred it. He was beginning to enjoy the unconscious side of her wanting to be close to him at night. It was miles apart from how they were acting towards each other in the day.

On the Sunday that had just passed, he allowed Sarah to go home with Mary for the evening. He'd picked her up after and she seemed to be glowing happily, but her thoughts remained to herself. They had both coiled up into themselves.  
The most he did was watch her get dressed without her knowing. Maybe watch her sleep, wondering if he was playing a part in her dreams. If so, she never said, not even when she had nightmares.

The door to his office suddenly clicks and he watches Sarah smile, walking towards him. She looks healthier now. Her cheeks rosy and, dare he says it, it was like she was glad to see him.

"Sarah." Eric tilts back in his chair, rubbing a thumb over his lip and stretching his legs in front of him.

"I checked the gym first and you weren't there…" She mumbles and blushes simultaneously. "I didn't want to sit on my own in the apartment."

Eric hadn't even realized it had gotten dark. He sighs through his nose, sitting up to turn his computer off. "You must be desperate."

"Erm... no." She scoffs awkwardly, fiddling with her fingers. "It's just a little scary."

"You're scared?" He raises his brow criticizingly, swiveling his chair to face her as she rounds the desk.

"I'm not used to being on my own." Suddenly Eric hears what she's really saying, especially when she almost purrs the end of her sentence and skims her fingers along the desk. Or maybe he was only hearing what he wanted to hear?

"You haven't been on your own for very long. You left at five." He decides to point out, smirking and letting his eyes wander across her small body as she gets closer. He keeps his ground as she stops centimeters from him and he realizes her legs are bare. Curiosity gets the best of him. "I hope that's not the only thing missing."

"One of three."

Eric groans as his pants tighten. "Sarah. What are you doing?" He tilts his head to question her.

"If I said I don't know, would you believe me?" Eric squints a little. There was something dark behind such innocence.  
Sarah bites her lip, stepping between his legs, unable to look him in the eye. "I want you to touch me." And shrugs her cardigan off, "Like you did before…"

Her hands grip the end of her dress, pulling it up slowly. First, he gets an eyeful of the neat slits between her legs. Then her hips. The jutting of her ribcage as she moved and how her stomach sucked in when she pulled the clothing from over her bare breasts and over her head. The material is discarded to the floor and she closes her eyes, her nose wrinkling up the tiniest bit. "Do you…" He waits patiently as she takes a long breath. "Do you still want me?"

"You're beautiful, Sarah." Leaning forward, he runs his hands up her legs pulling her to him. She puts each leg through the arms of his chair, touching his face, his neck, tracing the tattoos. "How could I not want you?"

"Then… _show me_." Kissing his lips tenderly she pulls back. "Remember the time you said you needed me? Well, I need you now." She blinks back tears.

"What's wrong? Has something happened?"

The truth is she felt unworthy, forgotten and everything in between since Nina. That perhaps there was other reasons he visited her. Not only that but needing something was selfish, a slip in her persona she wasn't used to.

"No." Her hands find his belt and he tilts his hips. "Nothing." She just wanted him inside of her to fill the void. Something only he could fill.

* * *

"He stabbed my fucking hand and we haven't spoken since." Wayne laughs incredulously, flexing his fingers of the damaged appendage. "All over some Stiff bitch. I mean, what the fuck is that about? She comes waltzing in then suddenly everything surrounding her is the most important thing in the world."

Nina rolls her eyes, her legs propped up on his desk while she bites at her long nails. The bruises were still on her neck and obvious but had turned a horrible shade of yellow. "I heard he's been in the training room a lot the last week and not much sign of the gray. Is that right?"

"Seems not all is hunky dory up in the abode." Wayne flips his long hair out of his face and it sticks up ridiculously as he shuffles papers.

"Five minutes and I'll end that stupid blonde rat."

"I'm trying to bang her sister. You know she stayed here a week ago?" He laughs because he forgot that most crucial piece of information. "Though I couldn't get in her pants. She wouldn't let me. Something about saving herself."

"Ugh." Nina expresses while standing. "Typical. Why couldn't they have shoved that one in Eric's face instead of the brave one." She paces up and down in her heeled boots, arms crossed. "She needs to go."

"You're right," Wayne says without looking, half-heartedly into the idea. A sneer rises on Nina's face.

"I'll do it." The dark haired woman strolls over to Wayne, wrenching the papers from his hands. "You have just got to help me."

"Nina, I'm a busy man this morning. Give me the papers. And no. You have got to be kidding me and legit _insane_. If Eric finds out-"

"He won't. It will be an accident." She leans over Wayne seductively, massaging his shoulders. "Then it's bye bye, Sarah. Hello to our _ruthless_ Dauntless Leader."

* * *

"I'm a great believer in luck, and the harder I work for it the more I have of it." Eric plays with a pen, clicking the top of it as he talks and waiting for Sarah to finish her work.

Sarah laughs. "That was terrible. I prefer my sisters. 'It doesn't matter how great your shoes are if you don't accomplish anything in them.'"

"There's so many comebacks to that quote that I think it's fair to say I'll keep them to myself. I also like 'Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.' I think I've used that as an insult one or two times in the past."

Sarah rolls her eyes while smiling. "It sounds like you." Her features crumple and she places the pen on the desk. "There. Done."

"What about you? What saying do you live by?" Eric quizzes her and she shrugs.

"I don't really have one. I find life simple enough not to quote or dictate my life a certain way with words."

"That's a quote."

"It's not a quote."

"It's a quote about not being a quote." He smirks. The phone on the desk begins ringing and he shares a lingering look with Sarah before answering.

"It's Meredith Bennett." Clair's voice says sharply. If Sarah was more aware, she would detect the change on his face and body language, however, she is not. In fact, she's gazing at the table completely daydreaming.

"Okay, one minute." He presses hold and taps the pen on the desk at Sarah. "Meet me in the mess hall. I've got to take this call."

"Okay." She says, grabbing her jacket. He watches her leave, waiting just a little longer before reconnecting back to Clair.

"Put her through."

"Mr. Coulter." Sarah's mother squawks in his ear and he holds the phone away for a second, huffing in disdain. "Sorry, I had to wait for Mary to get back to use her phone."

"Meredith." He didn't know her name until he bothered to look it up. "You are a _fascinating_ woman." Eric expresses melodramatically.

There's a long dubious pause. "Why…thank you."

"Don't think for a second I don't know what you've done."

"I have no idea-"

" _Don't fuck with me_."

Again, Meredith hesitates, obviously catching the vicious snarl in his voice. "Mr. Coulter. I wasn't aware-"

"Cut the bullshit. I'm not in the mood." He slinks back in his chair. "I've known for weeks, I just needed more time on my side to be positive. You sneaky, conniving little wench of an Abnegation. In fact, I can't even call you Abnegation because your actions are off the scale. Do you know what I could to you for this?"

"Please. Don't. Don't tell Sarah."

"She's pretty smart. I think she'll figure it out eventually. How can she not?" Eric flips his pen and catches it. "Does your husband know?"

"He- he isn't aware."

"Double whammy. When the truth unfolds it looks like we'll be watching you float down shit creek. You can say goodbye to your second daughter and I'm pretty sure you're going to lose your third after this. I'll see to it." Eric laughs. "To think I trusted you in the past. I suppose you just don't know with some people."

"Mr. Coulter-"

"This was just a reminder that I know all. And what's coming for you is going to worse than death."

Once the phone is placed neatly onto his holder, he takes a minute in reflection. No one ever undermined him. Ever.

He's interrupted with a message from Wayne, telling him to meet him in the control room as soon as possible. Quickly he thinks of Sarah, grabbing his mobile while leaving and texting her halfway down the corridor.  
What he doesn't know, is that her phone vibrates back on his desk.

* * *

Sarah finishes her dinner alone, looking for Eric who is nowhere to be seen. Once she's discarded her tray she slowly walks out of the mess hall. Maybe he went training and skipped dinner? Maybe he just forgot?

That was stupid, Eric never forgot.

Taking in the scenery around her of the pit, for once she felt the inkling of happiness run through her. A contentedness that ran a little deep.

She felt silly. When she wasn't with Eric, she was thinking of him. She was kind of fascinated with him in the sense that he was an extraordinary man with a lot of stuff still veiled and sealed away in his mind. He was dangerous, she knew. But she also knew he was devoted to his work. To society. To the cities safety.  
With everything bundled on top of him, he took it with ease as if nothing affected him. There were strong men, but then there were strong men with strong minds and Eric was one of them. Of course, it was a hazardous concoction. A normal man wouldn't be able to cope or able to keep their sanity. And that's what made him intriguing to her.

Maybe she was just as bad as him?

Lost in thought, she snaps out of it realizing she's been standing idly for too long and getting funny looks while smiling stupidly to herself.

"Sarah." Her name is spat aggressively and she turns her head to see Nina striding up to her. There's purpose in her step and there was no point in running.

* * *

"So, as you can see there has been a trace. They've recently been on the outskirts of Abnegation. We'll find them sooner or later." The Dauntless soldier finishes.  
Eric stands a head taller than him, arms crossed, concentrating, till finally, he says. "Good."

Wayne watches from the other side of the room. One eye on Eric and one eye on the many flashing camera images on the screens next to him.  
He's still in two minds. But Nina was set on getting her claws into Sarah one way or another. He thought maybe a good slap or a kick around because Nina wouldn't have the guts. She always came out with pathetic threats and warnings constantly and was too cowardly to ever go through with them.  
All she'd get was a warning and Wayne himself didn't have any involvement… Well, apart from telling Nina he'd seen Sarah alone in the Mess hall and Eric was up here with him. There was nothing to trace back his call to Nina over something so petty.

Eric makes a shift in his posture and Wayne checks the cameras. To his astonishment, Nina is dragging Sarah towards the well-known Chasm. His guts drop. She was actually doing this. The crazy bitch was going through with it!  
He'd certainly heard of Nina's hate for the weak girl. How people mocked her over it. But still…

Wayne had a critical choice to take. Defy his boss that always had his back or his ex-bitch…  
Harsh reality to dramatic fantasizing was entirely different. But something good could still come out of this.  
"Eric…" For some reason, his voice felt booming over the entire room. He makes sure to put on panicked expression for face value. "Get your ass to the Chasm."

* * *

"Let go of me, Nina." Sarah tugs but she is much stronger. The woman's grip on her arm is breaking the skin with her long, painted nails. "Let go now and I won't tell Eric."

"No, you won't be telling Eric because your body is going to be floating at the end of the chasm. Maybe they'll find you. Maybe they won't."

"I know what he did to you!" Sarah begins to feel her adrenaline pump as the chasm gets closer. The water crashing down below. The smell of damp and the mist being expelled, fogging the air. "I know what he did and I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? For me?" Nina's boots clump first onto the metal bridge and Sarah pulls harder backward. "You don't know what he did! Did you know he strangled me till I couldn't breathe? That he fucked me from behind. He called me Sarah for fuck sake! You two are just as twisted as each other!"

"Why are you doing this to me?" Sarah cries. "I haven't done anything!" Her rational mind lost to fear.

"Aw, don't cry. It'll be over soon." Being pushed to the edge, Sarah turns to face Nina as she points. "Now jump!"

"No!" Her equilibrium sways knowing that just beyond her heel was a quick drop to certain death.

"Jump or I push you!" Sarah can see Nina's fist clenching as she tries to rile herself to actually do it. Her tone isn't as strong as it was before. She's losing her edge.

"You'll have to push me!" Sarah takes a deep breath, staring the other woman down. "Push me! Do it!" Tears burn her eyes. "You're a coward!"

Nina lets out a feral roar as she launches forward with arms outstretched. Another set of boots hit the bridge and the person drags Sarah to the side. Nina sways near the edge but manages to collect herself.

"One step too far, Nina," Eric calls her out.

"You should've let me do it. It would have saved you in the long run."

Eric frowns. "Oh… _really_? …I warned you to stay away." He turns his back to her, cupping Sarah's face and she latches onto his free arm, slipping one hand down into his and admiringly staring up at him. "Did she hurt you?"

Sarah shrugs looking at her exposed upper arm where her gray cardigan had fallen down to her elbows. Long drawn nail marks etch into her skin, viciously swelling by the second. "Not really. I'm okay."

"Un-fucking-believable." Nina screeches out, throwing a hand to her hair and stepping closer, pacing just behind Eric's broad frame. "A stiff? …. A stiff!"

One side of Eric's mouth lifts as he caresses the side of Sarah's face so impossibly gentle that her whole body is enthralled by him. The dark hollowness of his eyes were back, she could see them transform in front of her. But she didn't fear him, and she can't seem to look away.

"Goodbye, Nina." With one quick movement, his arm springs out and pushes Nina with an incredible strength that her feet leave the floor, projecting her sideways and cleared from the bridge entirely.  
The woman disappears into the darkness below and screams. Sarah closes her eyes till just the sound of running water is the only thing audible, noting that she never hears Nina hit the depths below.

"She won't be a problem anymore." Eric eventually murmurs. Sarah instinctively steps more into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her head against his chest. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect you." He vows. Meaning every single word.

 _Whatever it takes_ …

 _Especially_ now.


	16. Chapter 16

Sarah had been watching Eric from a stool in the kitchenette, propped up at the Island across from him.

The man worked methodically. His full concentration going on to organizing his extra meals for the week to keep up with his bodily demand. She just smiles goofily at the thought.

After Nina's death, there hadn't been anymore said on the subject. Life at Dauntless moved fast. They didn't grieve or hang on for long. Not like her original faction.  
Sarah finds herself wondering about Nina's parents and their loss. Were her parents Dauntless? Where were Eric's parents?

It was a strange thought that Eric had parents. She'd never really thought about it before. They were the ones that nurtured the man; brought him up, and he doesn't seem to give them the least bit of acknowledgment. Not once had he mentioned them.  
He had no pictures either. No real memorabilia. It was like he had depersonalized himself.  
Or he just wanted to forget…

She leans on an elbow taking in the movements of his mass through his skin-tight black shirt. "That's a lot of food."

"It's not all for me." Eric doesn't bother to turn to her, just keeps filling the containers and snapping the lids sealed. "And don't worry its bland as fuck, just the way you like it." He shuts off the whirling fan overhead, turning off the lights and a smile sits on his face when he turns and leans on the counter.

Her confusion has her sit up defensively. "What?"

"Nothing…" He scoffs, shoving away from the counter and begins taking the food to the fridge. "Do you require anything?"

"Like what?"

"Clothes, toiletries, the works?" The fridge lights up and he scuffles around inside it till it begins to beep droningly.

"Hair conditioner. You don't have any. Oh, and deodorant that's not men's. And-"

"The works, then." Eric sighs.

"And ingredients for apple pie." She watches him slowly stand, picturing the loathsome face he was most likely pulling. "I miss apple pie." He frowns at her over his shoulder, the exact image she imagined and she smiles sweetly back.

"You are not going anywhere near an oven."

"I can cook. You've never seen me cook before. Plus, you ate the apple pie me and Mary made back at my house and lived."

Eric lets the fridge door close and casually treads the small distance between them, stepping between her legs. "I won't have an apartment to come home to," He sneers while tilting her face up to him. His gray eyes scour her hair that trails over both her shoulders. Her natural waves synchronizing perfectly to the ends.

Sarah's hands find his waist and rests her forehead on his chest, closing her eyes and unconsciously taking a long inhale. "I'm tired." Then yawns on cue.

"Go to bed, I'll be there in a minute." The scratches on her arms had healed leaving behind faint red trail marks in its place. He runs a thumb over them for a brief moment. "I'm taking a trip to Amity to visit the new structures in two days. The food is for you when I'm away so make sure you eat it. I've requested Mary to stay here while I'm gone."

That was new information and Sarah pulls back to look at his face. "Can't I go?"

"Nope." Eric smirks, "You're staying here."

She hadn't been anywhere for over two weeks since Nina. Not even to Abnegation. Not even outside. Eric had said he had needed her here and that a phone call home was enough for now. He didn't have the time to run her to and from her parents' home and she certainly wasn't allowed to walk, not even with Mary.  
She knew that recently factionless had scoured the fences of Abnegation and committed minimal crimes such as robbery; terrifying her people and therefore erupting a huge meltdown on behalf of Erudite that he had been dealing with.  
Eric had kept it all away from her, handling it himself and having her play no part in anything to do with it. Not even taking notes like before.  
She was dismissed from the meetings and had been helping Clair out recently. Funnily enough, Clair wasn't so bad after all, just uptight. But Sarah had managed to get tiny shreds of information out of the woman about her life and family. She didn't even know she was married with kids.

Speaking softly, she avoids eye contact. "I haven't been anywhere _but_ here. I haven't even been outside…"

"Good. What would you want with it anyway? It's cold, dangerous and you're better off here."

Sarah chews her cheek. "I just think-"

"Stop thinking. That's also dangerous." Eric knocks her chin, mirth playing in his voice. "Don't be difficult, Sarah. I made a promise that I would do anything to protect you and I'd like to keep that promise."

"Yeah, I know… But I just think it's a little much if I can't even go outside. Mary still walks here every Sunday."

"Don't make me repeat myself." Running a hand up her arm till he gets to her neck, he possessively strokes the most vulnerable part of her throat with his thumb as his fingers slide into the back of her hair, pulling her forwards to his lips. Eric kisses the corner of her mouth first, but she doesn't respond straight away. "You understand, don't you?" He murmurs as he chastely kisses her again, flickering from watching her eyes to her mouth and she still irritatingly looked doubtful.  
"Sarah, you would do anything to protect your family. That's what I'm doing."  
Sarah's sight rises to his and his fingers twitch excitedly. All it took was the right words.

Nodding once, she looks to the bedroom longingly. "I'm going to bed." That was good confirmation as any.

* * *

It's the morning of the trip to Amity. Eric wasn't satisfied with his amicable warnings he'd made previously because he sensed she was still silently questioning him.

The two days leading up to his trip he caught Sarah daydreaming out the window of his office. He also found her hugging her arms to herself with the window open last night when he arrived back at the apartment. Though the view was idyllic, it riddled his insides with enough annoyance he couldn't leave without setting the rules clearer.

"Hold the fucking headboard."

Every time he thrusts into her she whimpered, encouraging and exciting him into a rapid frenzy that burned his knees. Fuck knows how she was feeling.  
He leans down and bites her bare back, making her flinch beneath him and her legs suddenly give way as she slumps onto the bed.  
"Eric!" Small hands tug on his that are holding her hips. The skin underneath them was red and fiery from his grip.  
That only riled him more. She was his. He loved the fucking idea. "You're being too rough."

"Shut up." He lifts her effortlessly till her ass is back in the air and continues his ministrations. But this time she whacks his arm, rolling onto her back panting and glaring at him. The sway of her chest heaved in and out so visibly he was in two minds on whether she was about to cry or not.  
"Come. Here." Grabbing her inner thighs, he yanks her back underneath him but she manages to brace her arms on his shoulders trying to push him away.  
"Fine. Get on top of me. Now." He can't flip her around and reposition themselves quick enough, for a minute all arms and legs until he's got his back to the headboard. Eric growls, forcing her down on top of him. She gasps still spitefully frowning at him, then suddenly, she stops.  
"What are you doing?"

"I'm not a rag-doll!" Eric ignores her, trying to coax her into riding him but she pushes his wandering digits away and glares more profusely at him. "No."

"No? Fucking no?" Immediately his back stiffens. Between lust and anger, he was at his worst. However, he doesn't get enough time for the ferocity to fill as she pulls his hand up to her breast, forcing him to cup it and manipulating his thumb to trail across her hardened nipple. She gingerly reaches out to his chest, running along the indentations of his skin. Involuntary his body stiffens, his muscles jumping underneath wherever her hand traveled.

Eric notices her swallow when she rolls her hips. A fluttering and inviting quake in her breath at the now subtle motion between the two of them. He lets his body go slack just openly watching her, mostly in odd curiosity and struck by the knowing of how she reversed the roles.

Now she had his full attention. Particularly when she keeps his eyes locked on hers, a stone expression of determination. "Like this," She tells him, and he watches her lips part, slowly unraveling through the slippery sensation between them. She hums biting her lip and urging him on to want to do the same.

Sarah startles, her breath hitching as he sits completely upright, pulling her to him and looking utterly uncertain of herself or her actions as their bodies meet. When he doesn't say anything, she continues, slow at first and studying his face, then relaxing into him.

Someone knocks on the door and they ignore it. Time was dwindling and had run away with them but they could fucking wait for all Eric cared. All he can see is her right now. Everything else was a nuisance. His balls begin to tighten and he can hear himself groaning, his hands lifting her rear and assisting with keeping the pace.

A louder knock bangs on the door and he looks out the bedroom doorway; about to shout some heated words when Sarah tilts his face back. She dips her head, tasting his lips and grinding harder.

The thought suddenly blossoms that he's going to come first.

"Sarah." He hisses through his teeth. "Sarah." But she's so devilish like this. So much so, that instead of stopping her he slides his fingers into her hair.

The sweat trickles on his back and he tries to concentrate more on the knocking person who won't have any teeth left after he's finished his meanderings rather than the sweet cunt fucking him right now, to not much use. He was going to spill.

Luckily, Sarah's resolve breaks and spirals her into ecstasy. Lax, airy humming's of his name and moans fill the room from the both of them. Her walls drain him almost instantly, their copulation spilling out onto his thighs as she moved.  
Without saying anything she ends it with a virtuous kiss, moving from him and disappearing into the bathroom so quickly, he's left a little stunned. From inside, he hears her fucking cry.

* * *

Sarah waits impatiently by the door. Mary was due any minute.

At one point, she paces the room twiddling her fingers until finally, a small rap has her answering a little too enthusiastically. She drags Mary inside, the young girl cluttering and stumbling.

"Happy to see me much?" Mary smiles brightly, her cheeks flush and the tip of her nose pink from the biting cold from outside as Sarah embraces her.

"You're freezing!"

"Weathers bad." Mary untangles her scarf from her neck. "Nice place. I've only ever seen it from the doorway."

"It's Eric's."

" _Obviously_." Her sister clucks her tongue mockingly. "Why the urgency of needing me here? I had to rearrange a whole study I was doing as there was no way I'd hand it in on time. One word that I was ordered by Eric Coulter and the whole thing was pushed back." Mary wanders between the island and counters of the kitchenette, touching the surface as she goes and only turning for an answer when she reaches the end.

"Eric didn't want me to be on my own." Sarah tries to brush it off, shrugging and rubbing the back of her neck. "It's dangerous or… something."

" _Right_. But I can walk back and forth without a care in the world. You look pale?"

"Oh, erm… I haven't had a chance to get out much." Sarah points to the fridge. "You want something to drink?."

"I'm good. Where shall I take my stuff?" Mary is already walking to the bedroom door before Sarah can reply, turning over her shoulder briefly to smile. "Mother's on her feet."

"Finally." Sarah follows her into the room and watches her sister's eyes flit around, peering off into the bathroom for a second before looking at the bed. "Yeah. We're sharing."

"That's a huge bed."

"Eric's a big guy." She regrets saying it instantly, blushing profusely and covering her mouth. "I mean-"

Mary's laughter is contagious even though Sarah inwardly cringes. "I want to test it."

"Mary, no."

"Oh, come on. What's the harm? He'll never know. Be like when we were kids again." Mary slips off her boots, stepping up onto the bed and begins jumping. Small jumps at first, then jumping higher. "Sarah! Come on!"

"No! Get down!" But a smile does play on her lips. Even knowing Eric wasn't here, she still checks behind her, then nods, chewing her cheek. Gathering up her skirt, she steps onto the bed, almost falling when Mary jumps by her feet and they grab a hold of each other. They spin in circles, getting so dizzy they end up collapsing next to each other, panting and holding hands.

Both turning their heads at the same time, they grin toothily, but Sarah's drops suddenly. A wave of different emotions battling on her face. She hadn't had the opportunity to speak with anyone about the matters between her and Eric. If she wasn't at work with him, or at the apartment, she was alone. She didn't know anyone well enough besides Mary to confide in, and that's why she desperately wanted to see her. Just to vent to an open mind. "Mary… Is Eric lying to me?"

Her sister instantly looks away and up at the ceiling. "About what?"

"I think you know. You're not stupid and you spend every Sunday with Wayne. He struggles to keep anything to himself." Untangling their hands, they both stare neutrally at anything but each other, almost talking to the room. To Sarah, it felt easier that way.

"He's not really lying _lying_."

"He says it's too dangerous for me to go outside. He tells me things. Whispers things. Promises. I think I'm actually beginning to believe everything he says. I just don't know what to think anymore."

"Wayne says he's been in a good mood recently. And of course, with the robberies it's dangerous."

Sarah hums, taking a deep breath. "Mary… I made love to him this morning." She plays with the buttons of her cardigan. "I made love to a man who is incapable of love." Sarah blinks back her tears, shifting her body as if it would block the sudden need to cry. "How ridiculous."

"He's not incapable of love." Mary scoffs.

"He told me. And I know. I can see it. I wanted him to love me in that moment. I made him love me. I forced him."

"You can't force someone to make love with you, Sarah. Especially not with someone like Eric. I mean, he didn't stop you, did he?"

"It was the way he looked at me. It was like I was being studied. He was more interested in what I was doing then why I was doing it. He didn't understand."

"Maybe he's never done that with someone before?" Mary throws out, rolling to her side and propping herself up on her elbow.

"I was willing him to understand but at the same time, I don't know if I want to be loved by him. I hang on each day for maybe five minutes of affection, which is not a lot. The rest of the day I just feel lost. Like I have no purpose." Sarah scrunches up her nose. "I shouldn't be telling you this." Mary slips her hand back into hers. The sensation begins the heated flow of emotions welling back up in her chest and she sniffs, trying to stop her voice from breaking. "I _just want_ to be loved."

"I love you."

* * *

Eric jumps down from the cab to a welcome display of Amity. Groups of them clustered around the two Dauntless trucks, completely unbothered by the soldiers that slip out of the back and immediately begin checking the area.

"Eric." His name is said in acknowledgment as Johanna appears from the crowd. The smile on her face is fake, her body language closed. "Welcome to Amity."

"Johanna." He nods. To be fair, his heart wasn't entirely on this trip. He had other things to do and most of his thoughts on the drive to Amity were on Sarah that morning. He could still feel her body against his. His loins still remembering. If he let himself think about it too much, he could see flashes of her eyes in his hindsight and could still hear her voice.

"Let's get straight to the chase, shall we? You want to see the new structures?"

"That's what I'm here for." Johanna holds out her arm to escort him. They walk for five minutes in silence till they are away from most of the prying ears. "I also have other things that are to be discussed…" The air is biting against his face. It seemed colder away from the city and he braces his body when they come to a stop.

"I didn't doubt that there wouldn't be."

Both stare out to the newly laid walkway, the buildings pristine with windows as big as doors. All were built from wood with their own porches. Each identical to the other. At the end of the wide path running through the middle, sat an overly larger building with a courtyard and he guessed it was a school.

"You had an Erudite architect spend some time here?" His sight remains on the new buildings, studying them vigorously.

"For efficiency. For the materials and space. Also, he's an old friend. He did a perfect job. Don't you agree?"

Eric rubs a thumb on his lip, then pockets his hands, tilting his head back in thought. "I looked at some figures. Amity has the most transfers of all the factions."

"Peace cannot be overlooked. That's what everyone wants." Johanna laces her fingers together in front of her, her long orange jacket flapping in the slight breeze as they stand.

"Yet I still see a fault." His words are sharp. If they shocked Johanna she certainly didn't show it. The woman stands with her head held high, waiting for his advance. "Have you thought about changing your initiation program?"

"Why would we? It works."

"Another five years and you'll be asking permission for another expansion. Some say Amity is too easy. We've only seen you release three people in the last two years. What does that say to you?"

"That I am doing my job correctly." The Amity's eyes drop to the floor for a fraction of a second.

"No." Eric scolds her. "It means you're free riding your faction. You're guaranteed a pass. And that, Johanna, is not the point of the factions. That's not how it works."

"I beg to differ… I also hear you have a new way of dealing with your failures."

"That's not our topic of conversation. Don't try and change the subject. I thought maybe I'd carefully browse this obvious problem with you, but you and I know we are always going to disagree. I've taken it into my own hands along with support from the other factions. Your initiation program is going to be tested for efficiency and I'd be very careful with what you do from here on out. Your own position of heading this faction is being questioned."

"Being question by who? Erudite? Candor? The people that don't see eye to eye with peace and their beliefs lie in truth and knowledge? Maybe Dauntless, the warrior faction, which just leaves you. Those three things create war, of course, we clash. Of course, you all disagree."

"It's not up for debate."

"What about Abnegation? I've heard rumors."

Taking a deep breath, a small thought goes to Sarah. "I'm acquitting the council. Due to recent activity, the council members and their families have been targeted and it's now unsafe for a faction that is unable to defend themselves."

"So, who do we bring our concerns to? It seems entirely unfair as all the factions are bias of Amity. Abnegation did a wonderful job of being the, so to speak, middle man."

"You'll bring your concerns to me." Eric looks at her now and their eyes meet. Johanna's face speaks volumes, mostly reluctance. "Everything will be dealt with professionally."

"I'm guessing that's not up for debate either?"

Stepping closer, he glowers mockingly, invading her personal space. "My word is final. You're either with me or you're against me. And to be completely honest, I couldn't give a shit if you don't agree. However, it would be easier for you to just accept the changes and cooperate. I'm not someone you want to make an enemy of. I can make life very difficult."

Johanna grimaces, studying him for a long moment. "Loud and clear." The words slipping through her clenched teeth.

She hates him, he can tell, but it only makes him smile.

Clapping his hands loudly together, he flicks his head. "Show me around."

* * *

On the second night of Eric's absence, Sarah goes to bed leaving Mary cleaning in the living area after they ate their dinner together on the couch; talking utter nonsense and drabbles of idyllic food or scenarios that they would find interesting.

Mary checks on Sarah one last time before sneaking to put on her boots and opening the door quietly. She makes sure it shuts soundlessly, holding her breath as if it would help. Just as it clicks, hands grab her waist and spin her.

"Wayne!" She hits his arm as he chuckles, pressing her against his body and immediately placing his lips on her neck as they stumble against each other. The long, careless brown hair he usually possessed was tied back on top, both sides shaved incredibly close to the skin.

"Just a little jumpy there, Mary. What's got ya?"

"This is bad. Sarah will flip if she finds out. Eric would kill me." She tries hopelessly to push him away. She didn't really want to.

"They won't find out. You haven't gone far." Tugging her arm, he smiles, pulling her down the corridor. "Let's go and have some _fun_." He drawls.

"Where are we going?"

"To the most beautiful shit hole you've ever seen. The classy pit. Stuffs going on there. Here." He passes her a hoodie. "Put this on."

"You ashamed of my gray, Wayne?"

"It will just guarantee a more satisfying night, babe. Trust me." Looping his arm over her shoulders he pulls her in, kissing the top of her head. They take the stairwell down, messily holding onto each other. " _Welcome to the dark side_." He bellows deeply, laughing villainously as they begin to the descend the stairs. Their voices echo to the floors above them.

"You're such an idiot."

"Babe, get on my back." He tugs her like a child, dropping down the few steps in front of her without giving any option. "Come on."

He piggybacks her the entire way.

* * *

Something wakes Sarah. She's not sure what exactly and it's terribly painful to open her eyes so she doesn't bother. "Mary…" She days groggily, shuffling her hands under the pillow and nuzzling her head back into the warmth. Just as she's about to doze off again, the mattress dips and an awareness overcomes her more desperately than the need to sleep. "Mary?"  
A hand slips over her shoulder and she yelps. Flipping onto her back and pushing ferociously at the unfocused object in the dark, her wrists are restrained causing her to try and fight harder.

"Sarah. Sarah. It's me." Eric's voice calms her and she blinks a few times to focus. Springing up, she wraps her arms around his neck, causing him to grunt from her suddenness, and shuffling on her knees till she's straddling his lap. His uniform is cold against her skin and rough but she still doesn't let go. The need to be with him and against him was almost overwhelming and she couldn't understand why.  
"Why are you afraid?"  
Eric can feel the tremble in her body just as she places her head in the nook of his neck.  
"You know you're safe here."

"Where's Mary? I-I thought you were gone for longer?"

"I covered most of it on the first day. But we'll talk about it later. …Mary is safe, don't worry." Though she was in a deep amount of fucking trouble.

He makes a move to stand and she grips tighter. "Stay. Please. Don't go."

"I'm just taking my uniform off, Sarah." He watches her tilt back; the way her hair freely flows over her shoulders while dressed in the usual nightwear and she seems extremely confused. Clambering off him she gets back into the sheets and watches him undress silently. When his pants are off she holds the sheet open for him and invites him in. They shuffle a bit till they are in their normal position with his back to her. But this time she pushes her body against his, hugging him so tightly, so warmly, Eric allows himself to grimace. Things were going to have to change. He won't leave her again.

* * *

They don't address the issue of last night. They carry on as if it never happened. Sarah focusses on paperwork he's given her and Eric catches up on his emails. Though, there is an awkward air between them.

Eric puts it down to maybe she didn't remember. Perhaps even being completely unaware and maybe she was still asleep. There was no need to bring it up.

A tap on the door and Mary enters meekly, her whole body shriveled up as she looks between Eric and Sarah. "There's the party animal." Eric mocks, one side of his mouth lifting at her embarrassment. "Did you have fun last night?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Coulter. I didn't think-"

"No, you certainly didn't think. Was Wayne's bed comfortable? I hope you slept well."

Sarah hadn't said a word, but now her pen drops from her hand and rolls across the desk. "You what?!"

"I'm sorry. You were asleep and… I wasn't tired and Wayne invited me out and I didn't think that it would be such a big deal."

"A big deal? A big _deal_? Mary! This is Wayne we are talking about. You are sixteen! What if word gets out? What if someone saw you with him."

"Uh oh." Eric chimes in the background, sitting back and joyfully watching the showdown.

"Sarah, I'm sorry I went out but I'm not going to apologize for having fun."

"What if something happened?"

"Nothing happened. It was fine." Mary drops her head. "Wayne was there. I was fine."

"You can't see him anymore. It's for your own good. Think of your future."

"I am!" The two girls stare at each other for a minute. "You are _not_ my Mother. You are my _sister_. I still have a choice and can do what I want with my life."

"By ruining it?"

Eric looks at Sarah now. It was beginning to get heated between the two of them. He didn't know whether to sit silently and let it play out or stop it. Although it was particularly humorous.

"I'm not ruining anything. How dare you say that to me! Look at what you've done!" Mary waves a hand at Sarah angrily. "Nothing!"

Eric sits straighter. "Mary, shut up. You had one job and you failed. I could dismiss your pass on Sundays and quite frankly never see you again. You're standing on a fine line." The young Abnegation sulks but keeps her thoughts to herself. "Because you've apologized, I'll let you off with a warning. Fail me again and your future will be looking pretty bleak." In his side view, Sarah is rubbing her temple.

She squeezes her eyes closed, leaning on the desk. "Mary, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so upset, it's just-"

"Can I go, sir?" Mary blatantly ignores her sister's apology.

Looking at Sarah, he sees she looks pretty defeated, then nods. "See you Sunday. But change your fucking attitude by then."

* * *

The first Sunday wasn't so bad. Mary and Sarah exchanged a quick hello but there was still a feeling of bad vibes between the two. Sarah took it more painfully, her eyes trailed after her sister as she left the mess hall with Wayne and she was completely distracted while at work.

By the following Sunday, Mary's stubbornness ticked Eric off. It was enough. It was petty. And it was also draining to watch. There were far more important things and it was time it was finished.

So, he makes an appearance at Wayne's office. Both Mary and Wayne stare at him for a long while. He barely ever stood foot in Wayne's pit.

"Mary, I want to speak with you. And you…" He motions with his head at his subordinate. "Keep your mouth shut." Eric takes his time taking in the disarray of the room before sitting in the seat opposite Wayne. "Mary. You need to speak with Sarah."

The young girl nods. "I know. But it's gone on for so long, I don't even know what to say."

"An apology would be nice. You did practically insult her, and me, may I add. I have enough shit to deal with let alone this pettiness. I don't give a fuck what you and Wayne do, but obviously, she does, because she cares for you. And you should respect that."

"Is that why you lie to her?" The words are out before she can stop them. Wayne closes his eyes in disdain.

"What did you just say?" Eric's voice rumbles threateningly. His spine prickles and he tries to breathe evenly through his nose to control the riveting temper simmering in his chest.

"Have you told her that you've broken the council? Have you told her about the threats to council members and their families? Have you told her about one of the families who was attacked while they slept?"

"No. It's information she doesn't need to know."

"Why? I'm sure she can handle it with all the stuff you put her-" She doesn't get to finish. Eric stands and backhands her. The young girl hits the floor, holding her cheek.

"Don't forget who you are talking to." For some reason, the pathetic girl looks to Wayne, but he doesn't make a move to assist her. The message was loud and clear and tears slip from her eyes. "That was me being nice and I'm already done with it. Suck it up. Next Sunday you're apologizing because if you don't I'll make you wish you had. Do you understand?"

Mary whimpers while nodding.

"And you, keep her on a fucking leash."

The Dauntless Leader leaves the room with his back to them, his words hanging in the air. Wayne looks at Mary, but the girl will learn to know when to keep her mouth shut. Her purity and plight for honesty were her downfalls.

* * *

Sarah sings to herself in bed while listening to the running water of Eric showering. She walks her fingers along the mattress, playing with the shadows of the dreary morning light from the room and only stopping suddenly with the urge to swallow.

Rolling onto her back and looking up at the ceiling, her face crumples up with the odd sensation. She tries to ignore the growl in her stomach accompanied by a hot sicky feeling gathering from her chest and hitting her throat. The urge to puke becomes too overwhelming and she dashes from the bed, throwing the bathroom door open and sticking her head down the toilet. Gripping the seat with her knuckles whitening, just a watery like substance only appears, sharp and bitter in her mouth.  
She gags again, and within a few seconds, the urge was gone. Confused she pushes her hair back, wiping her mouth with toilet paper. Taking her time to stand she only realizes Eric is behind her when she turns to leave.

"What's wrong, Sarah?" But his words weren't really filled with concern, more provoking with a sneering glint in his eyes as his large frame bought an overpowering feeling upon her.

"I need to eat."

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm." She hums, trying to shrug off the awful imposing loom he was generating. She then passes him to the sink, grabbing her toothbrush and brushing her teeth vigorously.

Eric's shower warmed body projects his heat against her naked back, his arms leaning on the sides of the basin around her. "Do you know what I've noticed?" Her brushing falters, the toothbrush in the side of her cheek as she watches him in the mirror. He kisses her neck gently, pushing her hair to the side and one hand running from her hip upwards, caressing her right breast. "You've changed."

Sarah frowns, pushing him away with her ass. "Eric, I'm trying to brush my teeth." But he laces an arm around her, pulling her back to his chest. He squeezes her hips, then trails his hand onto her stomach, splaying his fingers across it.  
In the mirror, her eyes drop to his actions, and she slowly pulls the toothbrush out of her mouth. "That's impossible."

"Is it?" he tugs her earlobe with his teeth, teasing her. "Is it really impossible if your birth control was really nothing more than a multivitamin?"

Sarah snorts. "My Mother wouldn't do that to-" Yes. Yes, she would. Before she definitely would. "No…" She whispers. "That's… no… you think…"

"I know. I've known it was a possibility for weeks."

Sarah pales in front of him and she pushes his hand away. "No." She leaves for the bedroom, grabbing her clothes quickly from a chest of drawers.

"What are you doing?" He smirks, leaning up against the frame of the door.

"I'm getting dressed and going to work."

"You can't ignore it."

"I can." She slips her dress over her head, pulling her hair through the neckline and straightening herself out. All while not gracing him with a glance.

"Sarah." Her hands tremble as she fights to pair two stockings together. "Sarah." Her movements are frantic, despairing, and he grabs her from behind.

"Get off me!" But he doesn't let go, tightly holding her to him.

"Listen to me. I'll put it into solid words for you because maybe you need to hear it out loud to come to terms with it. You're pregnant."

"No. No, I'm not." She tries to fight him off, "I'm eighteen. I'm unmarried! I'm-I'm not ready for this."

"Doesn't stop you from becoming pregnant, sweetheart. And it's mine."

"Is this why?" She questions, her breathing coming out in swift pants "Is this why I can't go outside? Is this why you continuously keep me here?"

"I'm protecting you from yourself."

"No! No, you're not! You're halting my life! You're trapping me here! It's _not_ true!" She breaks down, her body going slack and brings her hands up to her face. "What have you done… Why?"

"I haven't done anything. You can blame that Mother of yours all you like, but you won't be blaming me. You should be happy. Is this not what you wanted? You told me you wanted a family."

"A family built on love. Not…this."

"And what is this? Don't deny you love me."

"I don't!"

"Liar. Stop lying to me. Stop lying to yourself." He spins her to face him. Tears already streak her face, glistening down to the edges of her jaw. She won't even look at him. "Tell me you love me."

"No. I don't love you. I can't love someone who is incapable of love."

Eric's calm façade disappears within seconds. He pushes her back till she lands on the bed. "Tell me you fucking love me. I want to hear you say it." The words slip through his teeth, more vicious than he had intended but his frustration was taking control of his physical actions. The weak, defiant girl was pushing him to a point that only she seemed to make him react to. Manipulation was always easy, but not with her. Never with her.

Trapping her hands above her head, he holds her down heavily with his hips. "Tell me."

"No." Staring at her for a long while, she trembles underneath him violently. In his hesitation, she wiggles a hand free, slapping him straight across the side of his head. When he flinches back, she unprofessionally throws a thumb held fist into his eye and she yelps out in pain.

"Fuck!" He winces, but he doesn't remove himself. If anything, he smiles. "You just threw your first punch, stiff. Wrong move." Shaking his head, he shrugs off the pain and begins unfastening the towel from his waist.

"I hate you."

"You keep saying it, sweetheart. Tell me again…" He pushes her skirt up her body, throwing her thigh to one side and thrusting forebodingly into her. "…how much you fucking hate me. Go on. It seems easier for you to tell me that than what I want to hear."

She digs her nails into his back, drawing them up and around to his sides, hard enough she hoped it would spill blood. He grips her neck suddenly, and she pushes a knee into his side, gathering enough leverage to peel his fingers away from her throat. Their eyes connect and Sarah scowls defiantly.

"You won't win. If I have to fuck you all day to get it out of you, I will." She begins pushing at his shoulders, trying to get her legs underneath him. He rolls but holds her in position when he lands on his back. "Fucking hate me, Sarah." He slaps her thigh. "Hate me." He can't help but laugh at this totally unique and unusual situation; never having dreamt of asking something so ridiculous. She leans forward, kissing him, then chomps down on his lip. He growls, grabbing the back of her hair and hearing her squeak as he snaps her head backward. Bringing her down to his mouth, he sucks on the skin of her exposed neck so harshly he hoped to leave a mark that would be there for the year.

"Eric…" She gasps, that knowing change in her voice. Licking up to her chin, he pulls her down to his lips with force. Their breaths mix, her working ferociously with her hips as he snapped his upwards, holding her head steady by the handful of hair so he could keep her in his sight.

"Faster." He orders, his body tensing up. His free arm grips her thigh, squeezing the skin. His body burned, the muscles aching, the sweat already glistening on their bodies. He shouldn't have bothered with the shower.

Knocking Sarah off him, he climbs on top, teasing her wet folds with his fingers. Now was the perfect timing. She was squirming underneath him beautifully. "Tell me now, Sarah."  
It was now something he needed to hear. It was not a game. It was commitment. Eric found himself needing to hear those words fall from her so despairingly that if she didn't say it, he was unsure of what he might do.  
He bites at the skin of her ribs, underneath her breast with an obsessive urge, trying to persuade the Abnegation that this is what she wanted just as much as he half-heartedly did. That somehow it would provide the pathway to an already haphazard relationship based on an insatiable hunger for something they both shouldn't want.

"Make love to me." The words are sudden and make him pause. She peers with hooded eyes down at his position, grazing the tips of her nails through the side of his hair, copying the movements of his own inside her. "Just once."

Eric sighs through his nose, his next actions were signifying a deep and pitiful end to what he had managed to build throughout the years. Slowly maneuvering himself into her arms that wrap around his neck, their movements become sated and meaningful. Eric didn't want to kiss her the way he did. He didn't want to admit an obvious defeat with something that he tried to prove to himself time and time again he didn't want or do.

Dropping his head to her chest, she barely whispers. "I love you." But not in the tone or way he was half expecting. It was indifferent, forced, and it left him wholly unsatisfied.

But they could pretend. He could pretend. For her. The soon to be Mother of his child.

They _will_ be happy.

* * *

A/N

:0

I've created a monster...

Thanks to jaijacked who combed over this for me! And to everyone who listens to me ramble on and on. You deserve a medal.

Questions: PM or Tumblr

I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope it also quelled that burning suspicion. ;)


	17. Chapter 17

A/N:

Big thanks for all the support. I'm so happy to see the story is still drawing people in.

I apologize in advance for any minor errors as this chapter is unbeta'd and it took me a little while longer than expected to get together.

I hope you enjoy! And as ever, your responses in whatever form are just so inspiring!

* * *

Eric sits in his office impatiently watching the time in the corner of the computer screen turn over.  
Sarah had been gone for a good hour.  
There was a shadow of a mark under his eye. The scratches down his side itched but he didn't loathe them, he enjoyed them. Pain was a major sensory stimulator that he had no problems finding some sort of joy over. Whether that be on himself or someone else.

But much to his surprise, he can't concentrate on anything productive, continuously sighing, his chest almost aching from the effort.  
Sarah had been upset and he allowed her the day for the new information to sink in. He arranged an appointment with the medical bay for first thing – which she was attending to now.  
That morning; the day of her appointment, she cried over the toilet as she vomited. He could hear her but there was nothing he could do for her except wait. Low and behold the stiff never asked anything of him either.  
She'd barely spoken a word and requested to go to the medical bay on her own. Something along the lines of: she needed time alone, to think. As long as it made her come to terms with the fact she was pregnant, he didn't mind. All the information from downstairs would be sent to him accordingly regardless.

The door slowly opens and Sarah's lip trembles as she steps with sheets of paper between her hands into the room. The gray dress is another little something that Mary had brought with her when she stayed. It's fitted against the top half of Sarah's body, flaring out and pleated to just above the knees. Her jacket sits off the shoulders her hair falling from the bun.  
His face is emotionless as he stares up at her except for a quick twitch in his jaw. His brows furrow when a tear slips her cheek.

So it was true.

"I-I, I'm…" She stammers. "It's-"

" _Sweetheart_ , I told you I should've come with you." She nods her head, nipping her top lip between her teeth. He exhales, patting his thighs and motioning her forward. She slowly lowers onto his lap and swings her legs over his arm. Like this, he waits for her to calm down.

With her face pushed into his jacket, an email appears on his screen with minor details. He untangles himself from her legs and skims through it as she curls up into him.

Eight weeks. A size measured guesstimate from an invasive ultrasound.

Eric smirks. He thought he was good, but not that good.

* * *

Eric clicks off the incoming reports from his teams scouring for the factionless. His mind is swept out to troubled thoughts.

The room is dull, in contrast to how it usually felt. He also finds himself unbothered by the usual cardinal swamping of requests or omissions that he's used to receiving. As if everyone knew to leave him be.  
Maybe they did? Maybe Clair had forewarned anyone that came to the suite. He wasn't proud of his previous actions in the few days that had passed. But something had to acquit the brutal savagery his mind relented him to.

So be it if it was thieves or spineless personnel that needed a reality check. Eric had given it to them. At least; out of everything that was coming out of Sarah's introvert state, was that he could play catch up on things he'd brushed to one side.

He's about to open his mouth as the door opens, ready to tear anyone that dared to foresee what pitiful state he'd let himself drop to. But all that ferocity dissipates swiftly from his system when he realizes it's not threatening.

Eric looks Sarah up and down.

"Hi." She says with a painted smile, dropping just as swiftly as it appeared. Her whole body portrayed an incensed type of nervousness. And so she should be.

Eric snorts, shaking his head at her audacity.

"We need to talk."

"You just decided that?" He scoffs, baring a grin that was meant to chain up his edgy physical state. Not that anyone could interpret it to be anything other than stately anger, no matter how hard he tried. "It's been four days, Sarah." His tongue burning with scorn as his hands slip into the drawer of the desk, searching out another load of mindless paperwork he'd been meaning to tend to. "Four days."

"I know. I needed time." She comes to rest by his desk. And when she doesn't continue, he stops. It was obvious she wanted his full attention. "Are we… really doing this?"

"No, it's just a figment of your imagination. Of course…"

"Okay…" She says peering to the floor. "I have some things I want to be settled."

"I'm all ears." Eric purposefully plants his hands entwined and fisting together in front of him. If it was attention she wanted, or to voice her stupid concerns, she would have to look him in the eye while doing it. Being ignored boiled his gut. And that's all she had done. He deserved respect for how courteous he'd been of her inner disorders. He'd had his own too that she'd failed to recognize.

"I don't want anyone to know until I'm over twelve weeks. I want to know how you knew and how long for. And I want to go and see my family."

"You fucking kidding me?"

"No. I'm serious."

Eric laughs loudly. It echoes out in the room and Sarah shifts from one leg to the other trying to keep her composure. "Besides the obvious, I had your pills tested when my suspicions arose. The results of a well-defined sugar coated vitamin sit in the drawer of my desk. I can show you if you like." Sarah shakes her head. I've known for a few weeks."

"How many?"

"I don't know. A while." He shrugs.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wouldn't have changed anything. It was already done. And I wanted to be sure. I may have wanted you to figure it on your own but that still didn't happen even with your head down the pan."

"I have another request," Sarah speaks desperately.

"Yeah? And what's that." A condescending smile sits on his face as he sharply looks at her. It was bound to be something he didn't like.

"No more lies. You tell me everything."

"I've never lied to you, Sarah."

"Avoiding the truth is a lie."

"I avoid it to help you. There are things you don't need to know. Knowledge is dangerous. You talk as if everything I do is out of spite when it isn't like that all."

"What _is_ it like, then?"

"If you're looking for a proclamation of love, you're not going to get it."

"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking for respect."

" _Oh_." Eric simpers and Sarah immediately regrets what she said. "The stiff is wanting respect? What, you think I don't respect you? I don't take care of you? Right, well at least I know where I stand."

"Don't turn this around, Eric," Sarah whines, her head rolling back at how painful this conversation was turning out to be. It all seemed so simple in her mind. "They are all small requests, surely-"

"Sarah, you've said enough."

"You _never_ listen!" She yells at him, shaking her head. "You never listen to anything I say!" Turning quickly, she disappears through the door. It takes every part of Eric to stop himself from following her.

" _Fuck_." He groans rubbing his face. "Fuck it!"

* * *

Eric hears the shower hitting the tiles as he enters. Over the top, Sarah is singing faintly. She hasn't sung in a long time. Or, he had been neglectful of his time with her...

Instead of disturbing her, he makes it to the bed and looks through the open bathroom door seeing just a blurred glimpse of her shadow on the floor and wall. The water shuts off and she steps out. Strands of hair dangle over her shoulders as she dries her legs. But it intrigues him to see her stop and stare at herself in the mirror. At first, she pushes hair away from her face, then she tilts her head, the same hand falling down to her waist and it hovers at her stomach for a split second.

Turning, she startles. "Eric?" Her voice high, as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't.

Wordlessly, he wanders into the bathroom past her, discarding his clothes along the way. He takes his time showering. Tens of thousands of scenarios and possibilities running through his mind. When he gets out, he dries himself quickly, running the toothbrush along his teeth then entering the bedroom.

He can see Sarah's underneath the sheets, probably dozing and he silently walks to the edge of the bed, looking down at her for a moment. "Okay." He says to the darkness. He can just make out her eyes opening in confusion. "You have my word. But you won't be visiting your family unless I'm there."

"You mean it?"

There was no way he would allow Meredith to claw her way back into Sarah's life. There were a few choice words for the woman he had yet to disclose. "Against my better judgment but I give you my word. I promise." She sits up, completely bare, shuffling till she's sitting on her knees and appearing content with his offerings. His eyes drift from his markings on her neck slowly down her body. The sight before him never tired him. "But there are rules."

"What?"

"You never leave Dauntless alone. Your Mother has crossed a line and is denied any future access to my child. If you want the truth of what's going on outside; it's accepted without argument. And nobody-"

"Our child," Sarah whispers halfway through his list of demands. "You said my. It's our child."

"You are mine. The baby is mine." Sarah drops her head, playing with her hands. "Hey," Eric pushes her chin up, gray eyes flickering to each of hers to keep her attention. "Do you even realize how important you are?"

"I don't want to lose my family."

"You won't." Even after everything her parents had done to her she _still_ remained loyal. It was fascinating.

"Restricting my Mother will push my family further from me, Eric."

"It doesn't mean you can't go afterwards, eventually. But our child won't be. He doesn't need poison so readily in reach."

Sarah smiles; though it was reserved. "…You said he."

Eric leans forward, bracing himself on his arms to reach her ear. His breath danced against her skin, instantly awakening the rash of goose bumps to form across her body. "I told you before. _I can predict the future_."

Sarah unsurely kisses his lips, then moves back to his impassive reaction. "I'm sorry…I-I… I'm just-"

"Don't apologize." As his hand moves up to her neck, pulling her to him, she reaches out to his face, guiding him to her. Passion wasn't his forte; words weren't hers. But while their tongues meet and their breathing becomes erratic, his hands slip down between her thighs. This was where they could usually find their equal ground. And if only she knew how much he would promise her anything in moments like this.

* * *

Come Sunday, they have breakfast for the first time in weeks at the mess hall, together. The room is scuffling with life and a few older members Sarah has seen before come and sit with them.  
"…it was a really weird dream. But it was a nice dream because it was summer." She finishes telling Eric who is half listening. Amusement plays on her face as she digs into her oatmeal. "I think my subconscious is telling me it's had enough of winter now."

"Haven't we all." Eric peers over the edge of his cup, taking a short swig of its contents. The weather had turmoiled and become increasingly colder. Most mornings, outside had a covering of frost and the Pit felt like a fridge because of the Entranceway and the constant coming and goings.  
The demands in thermal uniforms had doubled and the common cold was doing the rounds.

"Clair told me that snow is on the way."

"Yep." Eric glares at a few people around him, sighing to himself. "Hence why there is more work. Some of the heating here is not working up to its usual efficiency and I'm getting some shit for it."

"Oh. Complaints?"

"Easily fixed… After a few heads get knocked together."

"Good morning!" Wayne throws his legs over the bench opposite them, balancing his tray precariously and cluttering it down. Sarah ignores him and Eric smirks at her face before leaning on the table towards Wayne.

"Wayne, I'm putting you in charge of sorting out the heating problem. Mary can deal with the complaints today."

"Basic acknowledgment emails?"

"Yes."

Wayne chews enthusiastically, barely looking up as if he hadn't been fed in days. "Cool. But I thought Sarah usually dealt with those complaints?"

"She usually does. But not today."

Wayne stops, studying the two. Sarah is tiny compared to Eric; staring up at him in awe as he pours more juice into her cup and a ghost of a smile is on Eric's face when they catch eyes. Wayne can't help but frown. This was too friendly…too normal. Sure, he'd seen the look which some of the women usually gave Eric when he was hunting on lonely nights in Dauntless. Hell, if Eric even bothered he'd noticed a few of the females watching him now with that same wanton look.  
But the Dauntless Leader never returned it.

Wayne watches as Eric leans into Sarah, talking about something he can't hear over the normal lively noise in the room. He touches her hair, sweeping back the stray strands behind her ear before continuing and Sarah doesn't even flinch. In fact, she turns towards him, their faces inches away and he was so God damn sure they were about to kiss. But they don't.

As Sarah stands, Eric tugs her skirt before she turns away, his eyes trailing after her. They narrow as he obviously catches prying and curious stares from around the room.

"Hey, Eric," Wayne whispers to him. "What's going on." He motions with his spoon between the two of them.

"None of your business," Eric says scarcely, sighing with the words.

"Whatever it is… it's cute, man. Real cute."

Eric's face flashes with some sort of annoyance. "Cute?" Wayne chuckles, but they both stay quiet as Sarah approaches the table again.

"Red apples!" She straddles the bench, her knees towards Eric and taking a bite. "I brought you one, too."

And if Wayne wasn't suspicious enough, Eric smugly lifts his head out of Sarah's view, half smiling at his apprehensive squint.

* * *

"Fuck it!" Eric almost throws the mouse across the desk. "Fuck them. Fuck all of them."  
Sarah keeps herself quiet, her hands neatly curled into her lap from the spare chair as the Dauntless soldier stands to attention in front of Eric's desk.  
"I've got two teams tracking factionless. Idle security issues with Erudite. Files of domestic complaints, and now _this_."

"Usually you are the one who-"

"Bring him in. Sarah, leave please."

Confusion of his dismissal brings the dawning thought of Eric's next actions. They weren't going to be good. Without questioning she grabs her jacket, preferring not to know in the long run. In the corridor, she passes two more guards holding the hands of a young man behind his back. His voice quivers as he begs the guards. "Look, I wasn't going to do anything. I didn't ask for this. I can't help it." He catches Sarah and jolts towards her, making her tumble into the opposite wall and the guards roughly pull him back. "Look at what they are doing!" He begins screeching, spit flying from his mouth as he fights their hold. "I'm human, like the rest of you! Don't do this."

"Shut up." One of the guards whack the side of his head as his legs buckle but they keep him up in their arms.

"I'm Dauntless, I passed the test."

"Be quiet!"

"I go in there, I'm as good as dead!"

Eric emerges from the door, signaling with his head to take him inside his office. "Sarah. Go."

"What's happening. Is he-"

He pulls her away from the wall, steadying her. "It doesn't concern you. That's all you need to know."

"He's Divergent, isn't he? What are you going to do?" Divergent's were rare. Her whole life having never come into contact with one of them. She remembers tales at school that said it was contagious and being near them they would become Divergent too. She'd always wondered who'd made the story. And only realized much later on in her life that they weren't true.

"I'm going to speak with Erudite. Just leave it there, okay?" Sarah nods unsurely. "Sarah, listen, I have to protect the factions and that's what I'm doing. In turn, I'm protecting you. I'm protecting the future. You, of all people, should agree with that." Dropping his voice lower, he holds one of her hips. "For the baby. Do you understand?" Her hand drops to her stomach, briefly thinking it over, then reservedly nods.  
"Go find Mary and don't leave the suite until I call you."

"But Mary-"

"She told me she wants to apologize." He strokes her cheek, sweeping his thumb along the skin slowly. "Now go."

Sarah turns her back, blocking out the voices and shouts coming from Eric's office.

* * *

Whether it be luck or fate, Sarah only had to turn a corner seconds away from Eric's office to find Wayne idly strolling, fingering through some work in his hands. It was the first time she had alone to be able to voice herself without Eric or Mary hanging over her, and she was going to take it.

"Wayne!" She shouts-whispers after him, quickening her pace to come up beside him.

He turns arrogantly, eyes widening a fraction at her before checking the distance to his office. "Hello, you. Mary is in my-"

"I want to speak with you… about Mary."

"Couldn't say I didn't see this coming. But anyway, feel obliged to pull the big sister act on me if it makes you feel better." He steps imposingly closer, in turn making her cowardly take half a step backward and shrinking into herself, her arms crossing in front of her.

"This is serious. She's a sixteen-year-old girl from Abnegation. What an Earth are you planning? If it's a game or joke I have to ask you to drop the act now."

Wayne sighs, "Oh, Sarah. This is not an act, girl. I happen to like your sister."

"Mary may be naïve to you. But I'm not. I haven't forgotten." Wayne raises an eyebrow, the slightest twitch in his bicep as he looms closer. "I haven't forgotten about you telling me I was beautiful when I first started. I haven't forgotten about you hurting me. I never told Eric."

"If we are talking naivety, you need to take a long hard look at yourself. Besides, what's the problem? Back then you were fair game, can't blame a guy for trying. And to make you feel better about yourself, my opinion hasn't changed either." He puts his hand up to his mouth and hides his laugh behind it. "Though Mary is spritely." And he bites his index finger teasingly. Sarah grabs his arm in annoyance and he instinctively pushes her. "Sarah, I'm warning you."

"Are you… are you threatening me?"

"I don't want to. But I won't be seen being pushed around by a gray. You know, I think your little relationship with Eric is sweet. But he will get bored… and when he does, don't say I didn't warn you. There is a reason you are in two different factions. We don't mix well… And the sooner he sees it the better."

"So, your interest in Mary is fake. You touch her and I swear to God-"

"Mary tells me she likes it here in Dauntless with me. That she may be considering joining Dauntless to be with me. Shame you haven't got the option, isn't it, babe?" Sarah takes a step back, her hand minimally raising to her chest. "Oh, your little sister didn't tell you…well shit, I'm in for it. I'm sure she will forgive me, though… If you don't mind I have a heating problem to sort out." Wayne turns back towards his office. "Your sister is in here if that's who you are looking for and she is looking _mighty_ fine." He smiles and disappears with his clomping boots through the doorway and Sarah takes a minute to collect herself.

What he said, cannot be true. It can't… It's impossible. This is Mary. She wouldn't stand a chance in Dauntless.

Exhaling, she tries to push away all the negative thoughts. Plastering a smile on her face, she ignores Wayne's amused stare from behind his computer and waits for Mary to notice her.

But Sarah was no way near finished with Wayne and she minimally frowns at him to let him know. However, now was not the time. She had an idea. An idea that just might work if she put enough thought into it.

"Sarah?" Mary stands up, throwing her pen on the desk and bounding towards her. They embrace if they had never had fought. "I'm sorry. I said stupid things and I didn't mean it and then I couldn't speak to you because I thought you hated me and I'd forgotten why you ended up here in the-"

"Mary, it's okay."

"I made you an apple pie."

"Are you joking? I was just saying to Eric the other day how much I really wanted apple pie."

"Who'd you think told me?" Mary wiggles with her outed secret.

"Oh." Sarah curiously frowns. "Really?"

"Really."

Wayne admires the two girls speaking together, when suddenly, it clicks. The bastard. Eric had kept it from him. How long he thought he could, that was ridiculous. Wayne fucking knew there was something. This was _Eric_. _The_ Dauntless Leader he was talking about. The grin on his face could rip his cheeks. "Mare, I've gotta make a trip out. I'll leave you two to it."

* * *

Eric doesn't look up to Wayne who dumps a bunch of files on his desk. "ETA early afternoon and should be up and running by this evening." Both the Leader's ignore the commotion with the young boy being dragged away. Wayne merely half-grimaces, knowing exactly where he was off to and what his future held.

"Good." But Wayne lingers by his desk. Eric pops a brow, lifting his sight away from his report to Erudite. "Can I help you?"

His subordinate licks his bottom lip, gyrating on the spot. "Sarah's looking a little fresh these days. Getting quite the mouth on her too."

"Meaning?"

"She just gave me a good talking to about her sister."

"So?"

"The whole motherly act…"

Eric casually sits back in his chair and it makes Wayne strangely nervous. "So, what are you saying?"

"You've knocked her up, haven't you? I mean, at breakfast I knew there was something. And I've been wondering why she was still here with your track record. Your longest relationship was with Nina-"

"Relationship? With Nina? The only relationship we had was when she was on the end of my dick."

"Aha! You're not denying it."

Eric laughs, standing, and Wayne fights the urge to take a step away from him. "You're a great friend, Wayne…" Now he swallows, there was a dangerous sense transgressing between them. He hadn't really stepped a mark, so he thought. But he was beginning to realize Sarah was a sensitive subject. "But lately, you're really starting to grate on every single one of my last nerves. Surely what I do in my free time is none of your concern, and lately, it seems to be all your doing; _making it_ your concern. _And that_ concerns me." Eric balances on the edge of his desk, kicking his legs out in front of him.

"I'm your oldest friend. Of course, I'm watching out for you."

"Oh right. So, the day Nina tried to push Sarah into the Chasm, there was nothing coming up on the camera's before, until the last minute? I rightfully remember you were in charge that day. You were there with me."

"You know the camera's switch on intervals." A beading of sweat begins to develop on the side of his face. "As if I would do such a shit thing."

The bead of sweat trickles down his temple as Eric stares him out. Finally, the Dauntless Leader hums, pushing up from the desk. "What conclusion you have come to, you keep it to yourself if you have any sense."

Wayne almost breathes a sigh of relief, holding up his hands, palms facing Eric. "Man, that is personal. I wouldn't tell a soul. I just came here as a friend."

"Great, _friend_. On that note, I have something I need you to do."

"Anything, man."

Eric smiles. "I want a watch on Sarah. Whenever she is not with me, I want details of her whereabouts, who she is with and when. I want it timely too, sent straight to me without fault. Do you understand?"

Wayne crosses his arms. "Why? Do you not trust her?"

"Oh, I trust her. It's others I don't trust."

Wayne understands. Eric may as well have painted a bullseye on her back. "I'll get on it."

* * *

Eric was too busy to even stop for dinner and told Sarah she was better off making amends with her sister. For her sake, and his.  
His mind wonders to whether Sarah would've told Mary, perhaps it would have held that thought if he wasn't so damn hungry.

Kicking off his boots by the door of his apartments, he curses all the painful shit he'd had to deal with throughout the day. But at least the heating was now exempt from his list. "Sarah?" He calls out, just to double check she was there.

"I'm in here!"

The apple pie on the counter had a generous amount missing, almost half. It sat with a fork poking out the top and it was obvious the small woman had been eating out the tray. "Sarah!" He calls more heatedly, picking the fork and shoveling the pie into his mouth. He takes two more heaps before sweeping the apartment, annoyed she hadn't come when beckoned.

"What is it, Eric?" She appears in the doorway of the bedroom, looking out to him. She smiles.

He snorts at her nakedness. "And what _exactly_ are you doing?"

Sarah steadies her breathing, trying her best to keep herself assured and her eyes locked on his intimidating sneer. "I'm… in bed."

"Alone I hope."

"Very much alone."

Eric digs the fork back into the pie, stalking towards her. "You lonely in there?"

"I was…" She clutches her hands behind her back and disappears back into the bedroom, lingering her eyes on him a little longer when she turns. She senses him behind her, a smile tugging her lips before large hands spin her and she giggles as he pulls her against him.  
His breath is already fanning across her face in wanton pants, pushing his erection against her.

"You're either smart or stupid. I haven't decided which. I've had a _long_ day." He tries to kiss her and she pulls back making him throatily growl and lifting one of her legs, massaging her rear roughly. Knocked off balance, she pulls up her other leg, and he grabs it to his waist.

Now she kisses him, with her arms around his neck and relying on him to hold her. She stops him from controlling by prizing her mouth from his and tilting in the other direction. Groaning, she encourages him backward, urging him towards the bed and he complies, dropping her down in front of him while he peels off his jacket.

But she dares to do something she's never done before with his darkened eyes held steadfast on her hands that wander down her body. She touches herself. Arching her back and sucking on her lower lip for the full effect.

"You want me to watch you?" Eric purrs, his voice slick.

"Mmmhmm." She blushes but hopes its hidden in the dim lighting. She moves her hands quicker, letting the other trail up her body and she moans to herself softly.

Eric pulls up his shirt, Sarah watching as his abdominals rippled as he discards it to one side. Next, he unclasps his belt buckle, his hands swift and he drops his pants and boxers. Grabbing at his dick, he pumps it a few times while still observing her.

Slowly she sits up, balancing on the edge of the bed with her hand still between her legs and the other reaching out to him, running along his taut skin. She can't help the involuntary squeezing of her thighs against her own work. And while humming to herself, she leans forward, kissing his stomach.

" _Sarah_ …" Fingers lace through her hair, pushing it away from her face and she looks up at him. She takes it as an ask and slowly wraps her fingers around his erection, stroking him torturously, lowering her mouth.

The grip in her hair tightens. "Sarah, don't."

"What…" She diverts her eyes to one side. "Don't you… want me?"

The dejection is painfully written in her body language. Eric's index finger hooks under Sarah's chin, forcing her to stand and bringing her face up to his. "No," He caresses her cheek, his thumb trailing her top lip. "Not like that."

Their lips tenderly meet. An urgency coiling up in her stomach from his gentleness. An irrational want to be closer and to bask in the sporadic moments of what his love would perhaps feel like.  
It must appear needing as Eric's smirk is felt against her mouth, a low chuckle when she tilts her hips, straddling his erection and sliding her folds along his length.

The breath is caught in her throat when Eric grasps her cheeks, squeezing and causing her to pout. "Alright, what do you want?"

"I want you."

That was not the question he was asking and he frowns at her.  
Eric's pushes her down to the bed, climbing between her open and quaking thighs. If he didn't know any better, she liked being rag-dolled. Completely conflicting with her previous demonstrations.  
"That's not…" He tests her entrance. "…what I asked." Eric thrusts.

"Uh." She can't think. She can't fight. Just lolls from pleasure. Her arms naturally seeking out an anchor above her head as he goes deeper.

"Though, I didn't mind your act of seduction, Sarah." He speaks over her gasps. "It was admirable." Eric cups her breast, but gently. "You are admirable. _Fuck_ …" He groans, repositioning and her legs cling to his waist, holding onto him as he moved. They kiss fervently until he's comfortable, trailing off with small tender touches till he's buried back inside her.

Their tone of voice changes to small whispers as if some fly on the wall would hear them. " _Did you miss me_?" Their lips never stop grazing against each other or hovering together in some way.

" _I missed you, Eric_."

" _Are you okay_?"

" _I'm okay_."

* * *

Almost two weeks pass until the snow finally decides to fall. Heeding the inevitable marker of only a week left until Christmas.

It was a complete white-out. However, Eric takes a deep breath, just knowing that there would be a significant rise in the demands from every faction. Accidents, mobility, aid. But cutting his losses, it was still a spectacle.

" _Fantastic_ ," He speaks to himself, pulling the string of the blinds which zip down. He can feel Clair watching him from behind, waiting. "Alright. Send two trucks along the roads to Amity. Keep them clear. The last thing we want is a food shortage. But I want them armed in case the factionless are desperate enough to attack."

"The mechanics have fitted the tire chains like you said. They were just waiting for word. I'll patch through now that they have the go-ahead." Clair flicks through the electronic device in her hand. "Anything else?"

Eric's bored of this whole scenario already. "Has the stairways and entrances been gritted?"

"Already done, sir."

"Okay, that will be all." He turns when Clair doesn't move. "Something on your mind?"

"Sarah hasn't been working much lately. Is there a problem? Is she well?"

"She's fine."

This was the entire reason he kept Clair around. The woman was direct and she also didn't push if he wasn't willing to give. She stands, nodding affirmatively and closes the door behind her without another word.

Eric just gets back behind his computer, waiting for it to spring to life when his phone begins ringing. "Yes?"

Wayne breathes deeply on the other end. "Just had word. Sarah's outside."

" _What_?" Eric rubs his forehead, moving the device away from his ear when high pitched screeching threatens to burst his eardrums.

"Yeah. I'm out in the yard, watching the trucks getting ready to dispatch when Four rang me."  
"Hello? Eric?"

* * *

The biting breeze stung Sarah's cheeks. And it was much quieter just off from the entrance of Dauntless, down the steps and away from the gritted path. The usual chaos leading up towards the outer gates and checkpoint were mainly unoccupied. She'd seen only one person pass in her five minutes and they had quickly jogged to the checkpoint booths as if they were allergic to the cold.

The usual concrete beneath her feet was topped with inches of untouched snow, and she made sure she stood in it; as if it was new land underfoot and it gave a swell of pure pleasure leaving her mark.

Letting her eyes close, she breathes in the fresh piercing air. It left her cheeks pink and nose reddening by the second. But it was peaceful. With the sky blue and, with what sun they had, causing everything to glisten; the crumbled gray city around them was cloaked and she could imagine being anywhere in this moment. It was hard not to smile to herself.

In calm times like this, she was sure she could hear the world take a sigh of relief. The birds that flew overhead happily chirping. The sense of life running through her. The numbness of her hands. Skin prickling.

"Hello, Eric." She says with her eyes still closed. There was not a chance of him sneaking up with the weather like this.

"You shouldn't be out here. I thought we agreed-"

"I'm ten steps away from the entrance." She doesn't even address him, her voice sounding far away and head still slanted to the sky. "I haven't left Dauntless."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a breather." His boots crunch as he steps closer and she opens one eye. "You should try it." And shuts it quickly so he can't disturb her further.

"Sarah, go back inside."

"No, thank you."

"That's an order."

"Eric, you're ruining this moment." The collar of her jacket is pulled, then the sudden ice cold drops down her back and she screeches. "Eric!" Her voice gasping, and she stands scare-crowing till the freezing snow melted in her clothes. "You ruined it!"

"Good. That's life. Now get back inside." He turns, walking back towards the entrance with his stupid stride, his stupid commands, and stupid attitude.

She rolls up the biggest snowball as quickly as she could and launches it straight into the back of his head. Suddenly realizing that this was not a normal person she was dealing with; her hands go up to her mouth and she waits for the onslaught. Especially when he turns with a completely livid face. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"No… I am really sorry. I didn't think" She squeals as he begins towards her and she's too afraid to run, only turning her back to him and wishing he'd magically vanish. "Stop. I'm scared! Eric!" She bunches her shoulders up in anticipation as his boots crunch underfoot next to her. An entire handful of snow is shoved into her dress. Her teeth begin to chatter and he pulls her closer.

"Feeling revived yet? You got your breather?"

"Fresh." She gasps. "Very fresh."

"Do you need warming up?"

Sarah scoffs, looking away and realizing he was completely serious. Eric only peers over his shoulder once then drags her underneath the overhang of the building, out of the depth of the snow, away from all the prying eyes. "I was innocently going about my business..." He jolts her up the against the wall, bracing her against it with his body.

"Plans changed. Now you're getting fucked." That's all they had done, fucked. For days on end, at random points in the day. Sarah was always for it. Much more so than she ever had before. Even initiating it in the evenings. He didn't mind, not at all. She even sometimes flirted or came out with something far too suggestive to be her old self which he now seemed to crave. It was the thought of corruption, and how she spoke so openly.

Their hands are a flurry as he undoes his pants and she lifts her skirt and the long coat up to her waist. They could never get enough. Each one lost and drifting without the other.

But if only they knew they were being watched.

Sarah should've stayed inside.


	18. Chapter 18

AN:

Hey :)

Sorry this took so long, the holidays have been hella crazy. I also apologize in advance for any mistakes as this was edited by myself.

Thanks to those that have put up with my ear bashing and helping me through! Truly appreciated!

Hope you had a great Christmas and New year! Happy 2017!

Enjoy!

* * *

Abnegation didn't celebrate Christmas. And nor was Sarah bothered by it either.  
Sure, it was pretty to see the decorations and wonderful to see the anticipation from other factions. However, it was far too selfish to indulge each other with presents or waste a day in festivity.  
Most Christmases they usually spent feeding the factionless – which wasn't allowed anymore. Then a family meal. That was all.  
She wondered what her family were doing instead. She missed seeing Thomas more than anyone. The little boy would have grown over her weeks away; learned new things. Was he kept well? Was he loved like she had loved him? She had doted on him for years and now was scarcely available to visit him.  
The guilt was acidic in her stomach along with the dreaded thought it was perhaps poisoning the small life inside of her. Was she really fit to be a mother? The one she had known was not exactly a role model.

Sarah rolls over with a forming headache to face Eric's usual side of the bed. He's not there. He left without her knowing early that morning, and in fact, the last week he had been busy and unavailable; a much different pivot to the week before.  
She guessed it was work; the time of year that had him occupied. It still didn't stop the drifting thought that perhaps it was to do with her… maybe.  
She trails her fingertips down her hip and thigh. The last time they had been together; which was days ago, Eric had been frustrated.  
Though caring for her as gently as he could when they had slept together, her outer physical skin had taken the blow of his frustration. The skin was yellowing and dotted from his hands. She hadn't felt it at first, only after, and it wasn't maliciously, that much she could tell.  
She'd been with him long enough now to not be so sensitive to the overwhelming power she always felt when beneath his grip. Only this time his control had slightly waned and the stress he was bringing home with him was clear in his actions.

He hadn't touched her since.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she waits for her head-rush to dissipate before trying to stand and walking into the quiet living area.  
There, on the counter sat a small box; a note slid underneath it. Curiosity gets the better of her and she carefully treads towards it.  
Her name is only written, neatly, in Eric's writing. The box weighed nothing in her hand. The velvet of the covering soft against her fingers. She clasps the lid, about to open it, then stops. This was not her tradition. She never received gifts nor wanted them.

"Thank you." She whispers. But leaves it be.

There was something else far more important to do and she had Stacey to thank for arranging it.

* * *

Each table in the mess hall is filled, all heads tilted up in excited anticipation towards the balcony above them as Eric starts his speech.  
His face a permanent scowl, almost if his objective was to look at every person here in the eye and make sure his words were being absorbed.  
There, stood glowering down to the crowd, she saw the other side of him that they all saw. But instead of being criticizing of herself or him, she found herself admiring him.

Sarah was happy it was busy, though, and that they were all focussed on other things. She could blend in a little more. She was the only gray here. It still didn't stop her from feeling uncomfortable.

The room erupts on Eric's description of Dauntless: "The most powerful faction," Being his specific words. He finishes quickly, ending with the quote. "Next year will be our best. Happy Christmas." Nodding sharply, he turns militantly for the stairs.  
He's slow to join her at the table, being stopped on his way by others. She smiles up at him when he throws his leg over the bench, squeezing her shoulder.

With her eyes remaining on the table; her awkwardness, she always tried to cover with words. "You did well."

"Same shit, different year. Get some food on your plate." She doesn't have time to objectify as he dishes for the both of them.  
His arrogance pours off him to the point she could almost sigh disdain. His sharp suit he wears; which is usually only on special occasions, he adorns now. It suited his attitude. And luckily she was in a deflated mood to begin with to not take it so personally.

"You looked 'Ever the Leader' up there." Her stomach growls at the traditional turkey and roasted potatoes.

"You sound impressed."

"I am." Sarah blushes, turning her attention to her food.

Eric snatches her hand, tightening his hold to get her attention and her knees jump up in fright, almost hitting the table. "You're not wearing it."

"What?" She studies each of his eyes and then his mouth to see how ridiculously serious he was. "Eric, let go of my-" She tugs against him.

"Your present."

Sarah peers around her, checking if anyone is watching but they aren't. "It was very kind of you but I can't accept it." He's squinting menacingly and she can feel herself getting anxious. "Please don't be annoyed. I just…can't, okay. We don't do presents."

"You didn't even open it, did you?"

"No."

"Well, things are gonna change. And you will accept it." Finally, he lets go and breaks the icy look he was giving her. The food is completely uninteresting, solidifying within her throat at Eric's quiet animosity.

There's a long wordless gap only filled by the horrendously loud noise of the room. Sarah clears her throat trying to find her long-lost courage. "I'm sorry but I didn't get you anything."

"I don't want for anything so it's not a problem." He leans an elbow on the table, rudely, in some type of attempt to block her out.

"I only have this." Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out a small laminated picture, sliding it cautiously over to him.  
His ever-controlled mask was hard to read as he kept his eyes solely on the image. She waits, suddenly feeling apprehensive. "Do you… do you want to come with me on the next one?"

Sighing, his shoulders drop ever so slightly. "You should've told me."

"You've been really busy leading up to Christmas. I thought it would be a nice surprise." Sarah rolls the cuffs of her cardigan, covering her nervous hands. "It's almost, kind of, like a present. I thought you might want to keep it."

"Thank you, Sarah." And for a fraction of a second, he runs his index finger across the scan picture, circling the babies face. The small act seemed to humanize him. Like she could feel just a small admittance of emotion settling within him.

"July." Eric raises an eyebrow. "I'm due in July. July first." Saying it aloud slightly scared her. But with the man sitting next to her, she felt braver, although she couldn't look at him. "And apparently, everything's fine."

"Good." Eric replies, tucking the picture into the front pocket of his jacket. "Just make sure you concentrate on yourself in the meantime."

Sarah picks up her fork, using it to slice into the food in front of her - and as a distraction. "Are we able to visit my family soon?"

"If that's what you want to do, we can go one evening in the week when it's quieter and if it stops snowing."

She looks at him strangely while he's sipping his drink. That was easier than she thought. But not wanting to push him any further, hesitantly, she bites the bullet. "Merry Christmas, Eric."

He swallows before answering. His eyes sliding across and down to her with a dusting of a frown. "Happy Christmas."

Eric couldn't sound grumpier if he tried.

* * *

Eric's fingers dig into her shoulders as he pulls her back into his chest. "So, you think I've been too busy?" She can't say she didn't expect it. Eric never forgot anything she said or mentioned.

They are on their own. The Christmas festivities taking place in the pit which they both left happily to be back at the apartment. She'd had a taste of a Dauntless get-together in the past and it was unenjoyable. Luckily, this time, Eric agreed.

"You have been," Sarah says softly, unmoving from his grip. Immediately her hair is let loose and he ever so slightly massages his thumbs into her shoulder blades. "I know you have an entire faction to run. I'm not trying to get in the way of that."

But that was not the only thing he was doing. He'd found all but maybe a small band of factionless that have now taken to hiding instead of presenting themselves and voicing their absurd opinions. The idiots that did, were dead, along with their families.  
Eradication was now his utmost intent. They were unsafe until every last one was wiped from the city.  
It was the only reason he agreed to go to Abnegation with Sarah. Otherwise, he would've rightfully refused.

Warm lips grace her neck, his breath caught as his thumbs dig a little harder, but only for a moment before he moves around her. The box is scooped from the counter and Sarah watches him open it, pulling a delicate, thin chain in gold. "You will wear it."

"I've never worn jewelry. It's frowned upon." As he slips it around her neck, she can't help herself to touch the tiny pendant, the smallest of white pearls.

"And who is it frowned upon by? Your idiotic family? The inept faction of Abnegation? In that case, that's barely anyone at all."

"Possessions such as this are representations of self-satisfaction. A statement. For a certain look."

"You've probably broken so many rules already. What's the harm in another?" Eric gently ushers her towards the bedroom by her arm, even if she is slightly reserved and hesitates to move with him. "Shower with me. I want to see you."

Had he thought she had changed at all?  
He had seen her every day, but not having done anything intimately which was highly unusual. "You're not missing anything." She tries to smile, keeping her words light but his intense glare only worsens.

"Apparently, I should watch myself. I'm far too busy for you. I'm being neglectful of you."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant-"

"So, let me see you," Eric says a little sternly. His dusted blue eyes don't weaken as they hold her timid stare. "You have my undivided attention. That's what you want, is it not?"

Sarah purses her lips, her delicate fingers still twiddling with the foreign object around her neck. "Can we … can we talk about how this is going to work? I just don't want to wait every day for you to maybe come home at a decent time. I don't want to feel like I'm alone."

"Ah, I see. You want a confirmed schedule? My activities to be timed so that you're not lonely."

"For the past week, I have gone to work, seen you of all but five minutes then come home and gone to sleep on my own. The week before-"

"I can't help it if I'm busy."

She closes her eyes under his scrutiny. "…Last week was perfect."

"And last week, I didn't have an entire faction to schedule before the new year." He gets her attention by cupping the side of her neck in his hand and leaning in closer. " _Don't_ interfere with my job, Sarah."

Sarah's radiance and hopes melt like that of the snow outside.

* * *

"I have these for Wayne... Whenever he decides to appear." Sarah smiles at Clair who is already rolling her eyes. The files land with a slap against the desk. "I put them in order so it would be quicker. Try to stress to him to not muddle them up when he takes them."

"Are you feeling better? I noticed your absence from before." Clair only says as Sarah turns away. It stops her in her tracks and a sudden warmth twinges in her chest. The same old feeling of longing for her family, however deranged they were.  
Someone actually noticed she wasn't around while she was adjusting to her news. Being appreciated was rare if non-existent until this very moment. And it was strange; she had no idea how to handle it other than the overbearing need to cry.

It had been a while since Sarah's and Eric's conversation at the apartment. He had continued with his heavy duties at his office, rarely making any move in the evenings as a form of comfort to his lack of appearance and nor did he touch her affectionately or intimately, not even on that night.

The promise of seeing her family was also long forgotten.

Mary hadn't made an appearance because of the weather but had called instead. If anything, the entire time they spoke it felt like she was rubbing her forming relationship with Wayne in her face, and no matter how hard Sarah tried to not let it affect her, it did. She was jealous.

This was not how she wanted to start her new year.  
It was supposed to be an exciting yet anxious time. She was having her first child. There were no worries in her position at work. Her life was docilly comfortable. But it was lacking, and she felt alone with a shadow of a man.

Sarah can just comprehend Clair's form, not sitting behind the desk, but standing in front of her with a concerned look on her face. "Do you need to talk?"

The strips of tears beginning to trail down her face touch her jawline and she cuffs her hands, wiping furiously at them. "I'm pregnant." Is the only thing she can manage to squeak with her throat burning to the blurring image of the Leader's secretary.

"Come, sit behind the desk before somebody sees you." Clair ushers her quickly. The tall sides of drawers either side of the desk make perfect cover, along with the computer sitting directly in the middle. "I've guessed it was the case."

"I feel pathetic. I know he's busy. But at the same time, I'm lonely, I'm scared, and he doesn't see that."

"Now…" Clair grabs a tissue from the desk, kneeling down and patting Sarah's leg as the young Abnegation begins making quick work of free-flowing tears. "I'm not about to dish you lies. _He_ is the leader of Dauntless and you knew that. That isn't going to change."

Sniffing, Sarah urges herself to push the crippling emotions aside. "I'm okay. I just need a minute."

"You're more Dauntless then you think you are. And…" Clair stands slowly, clasping her hands together. "You don't deserve this. I've been-"

"Is this a mother's meeting I'm interrupting?" Wayne is chewing something and plucks the files from the desk. "You look a little sad, Sarah, _babe_. A little… drained."

Clair's indifferent mask is back and Sarah just stares with furrowed brows, confused and wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. For one sharp second, Clair acknowledges her and the glint in her eyes are telling. "Sarah was just leaving."

"Uh, yes. Yes, I was." The chair almost spins as she makes her leave.

Wayne glowers at Clair after checking the Abnegation was out of ear-shot. Her face sat unreadable, her lips tightly clamped together while seated again.

"Watch yourself. Eric won't like it."

"It's not right. The girl is isolated." Clair whispers hurriedly, barely meeting his eye. "She's miserable."

"This is a first. The hard-faced, usually dull secretary has feelings…who'd have thought?"

"I'm concerned." She answers primly.

"Shove that concern somewhere else and keep out of it." Wayne pulls a piece of long, twizzled candy from his pocket and bites it enthusiastically. "You don't want to fuck up all the hard work you've put into your position over the years." He smiles with the candy bared in his teeth and swiping a finger across his throat. He turns, strolling towards his office with an obvious cynical spring to his step.

" _Asshole_."

* * *

With her back facing him, Sarah feels Eric sit on the edge of the bed after arriving back to the apartment late. She can't sleep, she's too annoyed with him, too annoyed at everything. But mostly her thoughts wander to Clair.

His phone vibrates and the light shadows against the wall on her side. Shortly after they are sent back into darkness along with Eric's sigh as he lies down without a word.  
She tenses her body, gripping her pillow and tries not to shudder as she cries.

* * *

"We'll have dinner together." That was his words before he left that morning. And fuck did he regret them.

Because now he stands typing in the code of the door at half eleven, three and a half hours late.  
If he felt some sort of confliction with his recent routine, it was now doubled at the sight of Sarah hunched onto the island counter asleep next to a full plate of food. His own place opposite sat neatly the same way.

It was foolish to think he didn't know that his actions of late had made her distressed. Yes, he'd heard her cry, and yes, he ignored it in his best possible fashion hoping it would pass. However now it was more solidified that it wasn't going to.

He'd given her everything but himself. And to his fascination, it seemed to be all she wanted.

Tucking his chin to his chest as he gets closer to her, he sighs through his nose. "Sarah." For the briefest moments, her eyelids flutter but she doesn't move. " _Sweetheart_ …" He says a little quieter, the terseness of his voice gone.

" _You weren't here_." She whispers. " _You weren't here, again_." He watches her lips grimace and the blue eyes finally open, looking up to him and his too-formal stance next to her. They shut quickly, clamping together. "Are you _always_ _not_ going to be here?"

"I'm here now." Eric eases her arm from the table, pulling her up from the counter and she automatically clings to him, but weakly. She shakes her head as he grips the back of legs, carrying her to the bedroom.

By the time he removes his clothes and slips between the sheets to be with her, she's asleep.

* * *

Eric can't help the persistent gnawing on the top of his pen. He studies Sarah more specifically than anything else. More for the fact she's filing and ignoring him.  
Her fingers dance through the order. The usual tired face, content with this minor distraction. Her head is ever so slightly tilted that the light from outside would hit her cheeks and enhance the pale pink of her lips. The pen creaks from the pressure of his teeth.

Within a few seconds of watching, he finds himself walking soundlessly till he's directly behind her. "This one belongs at the back." Sarah stops when he reaches around her, taking the file and putting it away quickly. She turns her head over her shoulder to him, questioning and judging within just one look. Eric doesn't remove his hands from the pulled drawer, resting them loosely but keeping her caged.

"I would've figured it out." Sarah mumbles, shrugging fractionally.

"I don't have a doubt."  
She has stray strands of fine hair that are too short to be kept tied, that's where his eyes linger, running down the back of her neck. "It won't be like this for much longer." The urge to touch her is incredible, to the point he stretches his fingers before touching the skin in front of him.

Déjà vu plays in his mind of when she first started working for him. That same innocent look she is giving him now is the one he loves.

"You said we could see my family. You've said things and haven't done them. I've been waiting like an idiot. I'm tired of waiting-" He looks away in exasperation. "A piece of jewelry is hardly a replacement."

"That's not what it's meant to be."

"Well, it feels like it." Sarah pushes the drawer so he has to drop his hands and she escapes across the room. At his desk, she begins sorting different pieces of paper, angrily.

"Okay," Eric says sharply and she stops fumbling, turning and holding the desk behind her. "If it makes you happy we'll go if I can get an escort truck. I'm not getting stuck out there."

"Perhaps if it wasn't the third time I'd heard you say that I may have believed you. We both know that this isn't the only problem between us right now."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I've been busting my ass the last couple of weeks." Eric steps closer. "Do you know what, I seriously don't need to repeat myself. I'm not talking about this right now."

"God forbid you actually _have_ to talk to me." A knock on the door has them stare at each other until Sarah looks away first. She picks up the files on the desk. "These are for Wayne." The door opens and she falters at the sight of three Abnegation entering with Clair.  
Not only is Clair cautiously eyeing the two of them, but Brad, from the meal they had back at her parent's house, is the last to enter  
Recognition sweeps his face and Sarah is mortified, immediately looking at Eric who is squinting calculating and rubbing a thumb across his mouth.

"Sarah." Brad smiles in acknowledgment and completely unaware of the danger he's unknowingly putting himself into.

"Brad."

As she leaves with the files tightly held to her chest, Brad turns his head and watches her disappear.

Eric smirks.

* * *

Sarah lies on her side staring at the wall as she hears Eric enter. She's so tense that it trembles mainly like electricity through her limbs, ending with a tingle at her fingertips, especially when he takes longer than necessary to join her in bed.  
She doesn't move when the covers are pulled from her body and just braces herself.

First, his hands slide up her thigh, then the warmth of his mouth caresses her hip. His weight dips the mattress around her and he begins moving upwards, following each indentation of her ribcage till the overbearing looming feeling of him is pressed against her back. Eric keeps his mouth on her skin, skimming his fingers around her breast. She knows he's naked from their bodies touching, his skin warm and armored by firm muscle, completely unlike her.

"You know him?" He asks against her, butterfly kissing along her shoulder. Eric's voice is deceivingly calm and light.

"You know I do."

"Of course I fucking do." His hand splays between her breasts, rolling her onto her back. She stares up at him unsure of his intentions and his lips that quirk up devilishly into a grin. Fluidly, he succeeds in shifting his weight between her legs and captures her beneath him, somehow managing to restrain her hands either side of her head.  
Once he's had his time scouring the bare skin in front of him, he captures her eyes. "He likes you."

"He knows my parents, that's all."

"Does he know you're mine?" Eric ever so lightly brushes his lips against hers.

"I have no doubt you have told him." Sarah's breathing becomes irregular and faster as he continues some form of sensual assault on her body, mixing her fear with desire.

Sharp teeth nip at her neck and she flinches. "Oh, he knows. Everybody knows." Drawing up his knees, her legs come up with him and she wraps them around his waist. "He's a good listener."

Eric moves along her neck to her shoulder with a little more urgency. "What have you-" She doesn't get to finish as his stealth-like movements denied her seeing the removal of his hand from hers, reaching between them and cupping her sex.

"Nothing. I was _nice_." He scoffs, swiftly capturing her lips.  
As he slips a lone finger inside of her and she whimpers, his voice drops an octave, and so does the amusement on his face. " _I want you so bad_." The words said heatedly against her mouth with spiteful lust.

"What have you done, Eric? Tell me."

"I enrolled him to work at Dauntless." He kisses down towards her nipple, then circling his tongue slowly around it. "Then I called him back when they went to leave…" Eric chuckles to himself, sucking her pink and sensitive skin into his mouth for a fleeting moment. "…He looked _so_ confused."  
Sarah watches his teeth mainly when he smiles. He only ever smiled like that when he'd done something awfully amusing in his eyes, but truly despicable in hers.  
"Was there something he could help me with, Mr. Coulter, he said." Using his free hand to massage her skin, he trails up the valley of her breasts, back up to her to mouth and shifting heavily on top of her.  
"Do you remember when you used to call me that?"

"Yes. Please don't tell me that you hurt him? Not over me. Please."

"He looked sincere when he apologized, okay? Well, after he checked I didn't crush his _equipment_. I hit him pretty hard but I think he'll live."

"You what!"

"Hey, shh." He cups the back of her head, his hands tightly entwining through her hair. "Nobody looks at you like that. And _nobody_ speaks to you like that. He didn't address you by your second name." He states smugly.

"Get off me." Pushing her head back, she tries to wiggle away from him to no avail. "Eric, get off. I'm serious. I-I feel sick." She lies horrendously, but his mass consumes her, still confining her movements.

"Speaking of which, how's our baby?" Now he shifts, propping himself up till he sits on his legs and completely exposing her. He holds her knees open, looking down her abdomen.

"Stop."

"I've seen it all before, sweetheart. No point in getting self-conscious."

"It's not…stop…no." She tries to push him away but can't help laughing as he captures her feet, skimming his fingers torturously along the soles. "Eric! I'll kick you, I swear!"

"Did I ever tell you I'm a master of self-defense?" He chortles over her shrieks, her body immobilized from the simple touch and squirming in front of him. "That I know a few tricks against feisty women like yourself?" However, in this moment, she couldn't appear any more admiringly beautiful.

"I… can't… breathe!"

When he stops, Sarah peers up with hooded eyes and a flush face, the laughter slowly descending to a sweet sigh. Bravely, she finds his hands and brings them forward over her, pushing their palms together and entwining their fingers with a wide smile on her face.

"I've missed you." She whispers.

"Sudden change of heart," He just about manages to say before she sits up and tries dragging him down on top of her. But he knows that this is the real Sarah. The one behind closed doors. The adventurous one who she keeps hidden. The one who strays that little bit further away from her Abnegation chains.

And more importantly, the one who disregards anything he may do or has done, and whispers ever so quietly in his ear through the darkness.  
"Fuck me."

* * *

Eric likes being right. And he likes it when things go his way too.  
Another winter storm ravaged throughout the city leaving everybody relatively stranded in their factions. The only order was assisted help with Amity, to get the trucks of food and supplies to and from as quickly as possible.  
The roads were left thick with fresh coverings of snow and he had no intentions of taking Sarah out in it.  
He watches her staring out the window with the blind cord in hand. "It's still snowing." She says miserably. It had almost been two weeks of the horrendous meddling weather but it worked in Eric's favor.  
Sarah was stupid to get her hopes up. So what if they had a lapse in the weather and a slight thaw, everyone knew it was only the teaser before it worsened.

He wonders if she ever took notice of anything.

"As Erudite predicted. Such a shame." Eric glances cheekily up from his desk and she's frowning at him. If he could get away with it for the rest of his life, he gladly would. But with that being unlikely, he hopes for at least the whole of January before visiting Abnegation.

"I've decided I don't like snow anymore." Sarah puffs her cheeks out. "I like spring the best. Not too hot, not too cold."

"Alright, goldilocks."

She smiles faintly, pressing a hand to the pathetic excuse of a slowly forming baby bump. It only looked like she'd eaten a decent meal for once – not that he would tell her that.  
However minute the thought was, it brings a sense of worry. From what he remembers, he was a large baby, and Sarah is a small woman, far too small to seem fit to carry his child comfortably. But, there were things he could control, and things he couldn't. Only time would tell.

Eric's staring off into space when Sarah's voice cuts through his thoughts. "The trucks are here! The Amity trucks. They made it."

"Thank fuck." He's up on his feet and grabbing his things. "Sarah, come." In passing, he grips her hand, pulling her from the room and she only just manages to fetch her jacket from the back of her chair as they pass.

"Do you think they will have bacon?"

* * *

By the end of January, the frequent storms had passed.

Sarah cradles her hand under her stomach and seatbelt in a natural way. It seemed she had expanded drastically, much to what Eric had thought with his predictions. Her body had little to no capacity to no longer hide her pregnancy, though her clothes did. Seeing her naked was a different story, and it made everything that little more real.

Abnegation is quiet.  
They pull up directly outside of Sarah's parents' house. It was the only house with the large recognizable Dauntless tire marks out front.

Sarah turns to Eric when the engine dies. "Can we just get along for today. No arguments."

"Is this one of your famous Sarah pep talks? You know that's impossible with the witch that coincides in that cave."

"I'm not here for her, and I don't want to ruin it because of her. That's why I'm asking."

Eric sighs. "Fine. I'll be on my best behavior." He smiles as he opens his door and drops down. It's mere seconds till he's on her side, offering his hand.

She doesn't believe him.

The Bennett family have heard the truck outside and the door is open with John standing as welcome. "It's nice to see you." He offers, and Sarah nods, still cautiously judging Eric who hasn't faltered in his smug look. But what worries her more is the red and dark circles under her Father's eyes. Something was wrong. It felt wrong.

Ignoring the inner feeling, it's surprising to see her Mother on her feet after such a long time and she reaches out for Sarah's hand. Behind her at the table sit Mary and Thomas, smiling happily. "It's been too long," Meredith says quietly.

"Ah, she's ambling!" Eric exclaims from behind.

Meredith turns her attention to him. "Mr. Coulter." The tension in the air is murderous. Especially with Eric's intimidating height in their small home and all-knowing grin. "Come, do take a seat."

Eric's passes Sarah, whispering. " _I hope the food has been taste tested_." She watches him get to the table. "Mary. Hello, Thomas." And he takes a seat as if he owned the place. John is quick to offer him a drink and while watching she's forgotten about her Mother standing in front of her.

"Sarah, I just want to say-"

"Save it. I'm not here for you." Snapping her hand away from her grasp, she raises a brow accusingly, then moves towards Thomas. She strokes his hair to one side and the boy goofily grins up at her. "And how is my favorite boy?"

"I'm okay. I eat cabbage now."

"About time."

"It's still disgusting." The little boy's nose scrunches up.

"Sarah," Eric calls and signals to the seat next to him.

Sighing, she tugs the boy's ear gently. "You need to tell me how school is going before I leave." Thomas vaguely nods but seems a little sad, or, it was disappointment from her mentioning they would have to eventually go back to Dauntless.  
Taking the seat next to Eric, her hand goes to her stomach. It was guilt again. And a strange mix of worry.

" _Sarah, what's wrong_?" She could have guessed he would notice.

"Nothing. Just nervous."

"We can go if you want." Eric holds her hand instead of letting it hover. "You're not lying?" He accuses, moving her face towards his and studying her.

"I'm fine. I am genuinely just a little nervous, that's all." Shifting awkwardly, the room has gone quiet and Sarah peers over to the four prying faces, her Mother stood with a pot in hand. She bites her lip, it's now or never. Her Mother already knew.  
"You might have guessed," Sarah scowls momentarily at Meredith. "But, I'm pregnant. Me and Eric…" She locks eyes with Eric as she tries to find comfort or strength from him. "…We are having a baby."

" _What_ the _hell_ …" Mary blurts. "No way! You didn't tell me!"

"Language, Mary!"

"Does that make me an uncle? I'm not old, though?" Thomas asks. And John just chokes on his drink.

But Eric just cannot help himself. "Not like you didn't already know, Meredith, hey?"

" _Eric, you said you wouldn't_ -" Sarah harshly whispers.

"No, they need to know."

"Please." She begs, pulling on his arm. This was a can of worms that didn't need opening. Not right now. She didn't want to deal with this.

"Know what?" John asks, curiosity written across his face. He's also speculative of her Mother, looking between the two.

"Please…"

Eric clears his throat. "Meredith…" He watches Sarah tense up and close her eyes. "…she guessed before and we lied." Her eyes spring open and she smiles sweetly at him. Him and his lie.

"This is so exciting!" Mary shouts, jumping from her seat and rounding the table to catch Sarah in a hug from behind.

"You never said anything, Meredith? How does this work?" John asks suddenly. "You're in two different factions. Is the baby Abnegation or Dauntless? Which second name will they have?"

"They're unmarried so the baby is Abnegation." Meredith chimes.

"Like fuck. The baby is mine and Dauntless. I'd dare anyone to detest that."

"I guess no one can since there is no council and you pretty much have taken charge of everything." John sips his drink again, albeit provokingly.

"What's that?" Sarah's smile disappears and Mary finally let's go of her. "There's no council? Abnegation don't have the council?" It made sense as to why new Abnegation were at Dauntless and being enrolled. Eric had kept it from her.

"We've been denied the one good thing this faction stood for, over, what was it? Safety precautions? Or threats? Or was it the family down the road that got attacked even with the Dauntless patrols?" It must be alcohol in John's glass. It's the only way for him to be so outspoken to Eric, the Leader of Dauntless, sitting in front of him.

"Are you criticizing my work?"

"Eric, ignore him." Sarah tries. " _He's been drinking_ …"

"No. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" Rage billows from his posture, his arms tensing.

"The man who knocked my daughter up."

"Thomas, come with me to the kitchen." Mary grabs the boys arm and drags him from the table.

"Sounds to me you've got more to say, John. Let's have it."

"Abnegation rightfully should oversee the council. The policing should've been increased to preserve the law. And I want to know if you're going to marry my daughter. If not, I think something should be done about it. Otherwise, it's a stain that can't be removed."

"Done about _it_? About what?" Sarah asks and Eric puts his hand up to quieten her.

"Are you saying Sarah should get rid of the baby? For your family pride? That being Dauntless is a stain?"

"That's all you ever seem to be proactive on. Your pride." John snidely puts and Eric stands.

"Say that again."

"I think what John is trying to say-" Meredith starts.

"Shut up. I know perfectly well what he's trying to say." He leans down onto the table towards John opposite him. "And I _want_ him to say it _again._ "

Sarah gently holds Eric's forearm. "It's okay-"

"Now." His voice is far too loud and bounces off the walls, making everyone startle. John's mouth opens and closes, but he's only just realized the reality and heaviness of his words, rubbing his temple.

Words that certainly can't be taken back.

"You've rendered the Abnegation faction useless. And you've taken my eldest daughter without good intentions. Now, she is pregnant with a _Dauntless_ child. What has become of our faction? Her sister or brother's futures?" John's tone is quieter and less aggressive, and productively- more sober.

"First of all, I ask the questions. Second, I want you to apologize to Sarah, and me. Thirdly, drinking on your problems isn't going to make them fade away. Fourthly, the situation isn't forever. Like I would even want to be in charge of the shit show, but it was done with Abnegation in mind."

"I apologize for my behavior. I didn't mean any harm to come to the child. I didn't think before I outed myself. I used the wrong words."

Eric rolls his shoulders, placing himself back down into the seat. "Next time, John, I will take you outside and we can sort it the old-fashioned way."

Sarah sighs. This whole thing was a nightmare. Not that she had imagined it being any other way. But she thought at least the food would've been served before an argument erupted.  
"Mother, just serve the food, please." The hovering Meredith lifts the pot lid. Another stew. Another family hot pot. She begins scooping it and pouring it into the bowls in front of them.

"Well, I guess this is a celebratory meal of two occasions. Christmas and your announcement." Though Meredith had spoken, nobody says anything. "Ginger is good for sickness. And make sure you get as much rest as you need. It'll come over in waves, at any point in the day."

Eric is beginning to lose patience. Not only is he death glaring John, but her Mother's words were grating upon his skin.  
How that bitch could suddenly pretend she cared was beyond him. He saw right through her. Though an interesting thought begins to rise. With the capabilities of her family, was Sarah able of this same type of behavior too? Perhaps Mary? It was an interesting thought.  
When he looks over his shoulder at Sarah, it was hard to fathom.  
When looking at John; and his atrocious combed back hair, he makes a mental note to check for Divergence. How he would love to turn up and send him packing off to Jeanine as their lab rat. He couldn't think of anything better. A small smirk graces his lips at his wild imagination.

Eric already knew of John's alcoholic tendencies from his health reports when he looked for any defects in their family that would threaten his child. That was the only thing to come up frequently. It was very… _interesting_ … and highly convenient.

"Eric actually pointed out. He knew first." Sarah mumbles, playing with the spoon and contents of her stew. Eric squints at her even though she doesn't look at him. Sarah's health report had said that she had only ever sprained her arm, which one he didn't know, but he guessed her writing arm, her left.  
"Then I went to the doctors at Dauntless."

"And? Everything is fine I take it?"

"I'm about seventeen and a bit weeks now."

How Eric wanted to gloat that he had consumed her when they first fucked. But he keeps it to himself. He is, however, growing wary of Meredith's plight to nestle her way back into Sarah's good books. Mary and Thomas make a reappearance and sit down quietly. With Sarah involved with facing her parents, he turns to Mary next to him, perched on the last seat of the table.  
Leaning toward her so they can't hear, he whispers. "Wayne said hello."

She blinks a few times, perhaps in embarrassment or other but she dares to meet his eye. "Is he-Is he alright?"

"Wayne is Wayne." He checks to see if anyone is listening before continuing. "When you stop playing innocent, get him to cover it."

Mary is beetroot. "I-I, I have no idea-"

"Don't trust anything in the form of medicine that wench of a mother gives you." Whether Mary understands or not, he doesn't have enough time to tell because Sarah nudges him. "Yes, _sweetheart_."

"I've been thinking…" She hesitates. "…About space in your apartment. Are we going to live there?"

"For another month or so. I've planned ahead. If you'd bothered to ask, it wasn't only the new schedules I was focussing on. I think I've found somewhere."

"With another bedroom?"

"It's for a family. It's got three bedrooms, two bathrooms and an entranceway instead of walking straight into the kitchen."

"I would never have guessed Dauntless would've had the space for new apartments."

The table has gone quiet again and he's hyper aware everyone is now listening. "No. We don't. It's an older floor that's been out of use for a few years. We are converting it entirely into a new block. Hence the wait. The work starts within three days… I took a note out of Amity's book." He dips bread into his stew and eats quickly. Sarah's staring at the side of his face and he sighs through his nose. "What?"

"Nothing…"

* * *

Though Eric was not prepared for Sarah to straddle his hips the moment she slipped into bed, he was hardly surprised either. The entire journey home she had something hidden on her face and she kept purposefully quiet. Now her small hands roamed across his body and she gloriously grinded herself along his length.  
Eric grips her thighs, aiding her attempts and hoping that she's turned on enough he could accidently-on-purpose slip in with her franticness.

The columned skin of his neck is bitten till she reaches his lip, avoiding his lower and nipping at his top while simultaneously allowing him to enter her. The gasp is shuddering against his mouth.  
" _Tell me what the fuck I've done_." Eric searches her face for some type of answer as she rocks backward and forwards, her hair swaying as she moved.  
He wanted to memorize the reason for future advantages. But there was nothing there apart from some erotic passion that drove her.

"You did good." She manages to murmur. " _Really, really_ , good." She leans back, hands on his thighs, her torso wavering.

It begins to evolve almost too suddenly and he begins to fidget. "Sarah." His tone is of light warning to his impending end. "Sarah, Sarah, sweetheart." It doesn't help her body is so beautifully presented in a bluey hue from the darkness.

"I'm so close." She moans loudly, completely ignoring him and putting a hand between her legs. He thanks a higher man for her walls beginning to spasm. "I'm coming." She repeats multiple times in whimpers, her movements becoming sloppy and slow. Eric sits up, reveling in the pulsing between them, their lips lightly touching through their pants. His name is said once or twice, along with nonchalant compliments and something to do with love in his blurred ecstasy that he can't piece together.

As they fall to the side, this time, she turns her back to him first, grabbing his hand and manipulating his arm to cover her. Her ass hits his crotch and he's in two minds whether to pull away and be done with it. – Till she speaks.

"I love you, too, Eric."

Fuck.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N

OMG, I'm so sorry this has taken FOREVER for me to update, just a few things I had to great straight in the story first before releasing the chapter.

Having said that, there are only a few chapters left. No specific amount I can give at the moment, but there is a definite end on it's way and I'm seriously not going to know what to do with myself afterward! (This chapter was suppose to be much longer but got the chop.)

I hope you are still enjoying the story! And a BIG thanks to everyone who has helped me on this chapter and the next!

I know everyone says this, but your reviews are seriously awesome and are helping me (I had a MAJOR writers block and it took only _one_ review at the _right time_ to get me through and put the pieces together.) So Thank you!

I'm rambling. Enjoy! x

* * *

"We're doing well. Everything is on time." The Dauntless soldier with the bad hair and multiple piercings adorning his ears, says to Eric. "Thankfully we are not too far behind," He ticks something off his list. But Eric is elsewhere, gazing out ahead of him towards the trucks and warehouses. The concrete platform they stand on is perfect height for the delivery trucks to unload and gives a seamless overview of the state of affairs happening around them.

"Without the factionless it's a lot easier."

"Hmm." Eric hums in response with his arms crossed in front of him.

"Same goes with the other factions. Amity had only requested medical supplies from Erudite which is being arranged for the drive back. Is there anything else you would like us to turn our attention to?"

"Make sure the materials for the new builds are here on time. I want it started as soon as possible." With furrowed brows, Eric looks over his shoulder to the gathering of Abnegation being instructed by Wayne.

Sarah is there in her long jacket, scarf wrapped tightly round her neck and hood up. She's speaking to the group too and Wayne is nodding. Her eyes dart to his unexpectedly and she smiles, dropping her gaze to the floor.

Fuck.

Eric shifts on the spot uncomfortably in this unusual situation. He will have to say something sooner or later. The voice of the soldier next to him brings his attention back and he dismisses him. "I'll be checking the progress. That's all for now."

Pocketing his hands, he takes a huge breath and approaches the group which drop to silence, not daring to meet his eye, but Sarah does.

"You all have your orders. Do what is expected and we won't have a problem."

"Yes, Mr. Coulter." A few mumble with their heads down. As they disperse, Sarah walks a few steps away and waits earnestly for him to follow. He checks around him before trying to find the right words.

"It's okay, Eric. You don't have to say anything."

"Last night-"

"It meant nothing, right?" She stares out towards the deliveries being unloaded, only turning her head when he doesn't reply with a shadowing of her usual vibrant smile. Eric's jaw tenses and she feels a small pang of hurt at his reluctance to offer her any form of explanation. Not that she thought he would. "…I'm going to start showing soon. I already am. People will begin to notice."

"That doesn't matter."

"They won't like it. Their leader with a girl from Abnegation?"

"What side of the bed did you get out of this morning?"

Sarah reaches out, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket that are pushed into his pockets and tugs slightly. "Can you promise me something?" The wind whistles over her voice, pulling hair from her bun and flipping the tassel end of her scarf messily over her shoulder. "Promise me you will take care and protect our baby? Even if you don't love me."

" _Sarah_ …" He grimaces, rolling his shoulders backward and moving to face her. Removing his digits from his pocket, he softly caresses the small hand that's frozen, the delicate fingers responding by curling against his own. "That's not…"

Sarah shakes her head, " _Don't, Eric_." Her voice only quakes through as a whisper. "Don't. Just promise me." The look she is giving is nothing he's ever really come across in his adult life, maybe as a child, but not in years.– Disappointment.

"I will do what it takes."

"And so will I. Just find it in your heart to love our child, don't deny them that." She's already walking away, down the steps and following the Abnegation and Wayne towards the trucks.

More than anything, he now feels insulted and the great burden of guilt weighing down in his gut. Like he was completely incapable of fathering appropriately and done her wrong, yet again. Like refusing to profess his undying love for her would fuck up their child from the get go.

Parental love was different to a love formed between a man and a woman. Parental love was natural, unforced and there was no wait till someone finally decided they loved the other.

It was words, only stupid words.

This small woman always confused him, always managed to throw him unexpectedly from believing he finally understood the inner workings of her brain, to knowing absolutely nothing about her at all. He loathed it.

At the same time, he notices two Dauntless struggling with the door on the back of one of the Amity trucks and he kisses his teeth in frustration.

 _Want something done, do it yourself._ He could use the distraction anyway.

* * *

"Sarah was good today." Wayne offhandedly utters as he enters Eric's office. "The Abnegation work well with her."

"No surprise there. Where is she?"

"She went to lunch with them. She's still there. I sent that Brad on an errand."

Eric sits back in his chair, his lip quirking at the thought of Brad probably fearing Sarah more than anything. And so he should, he was lucky he didn't gut the little bastard. "Okay, good."

"She's growing. I mean, because I know I'm looking for it. It's not entirely obvious. Not yet anyway."

"I'm aware."

Wayne takes a seat, stretching his arms behind his head and bending his back, grunting in the process. "You nervous?"

"What for?" Eric huffs, growing impatient with his stupid questions.

"It's a big thing? The responsibility."

"Nothing I can't handle." Eric arches a brow to his Wayne's unmoving form. "How are you and Mary getting along?"

"Haven't fucked her." Wayne sighs, puckering his lips. "She won't. That ass is tight too, it's always in my face."

"Perhaps it's time to look elsewhere?"

"Pfft, I'd have failed as a man." Wayne scratches the side of his beard.

"She won't you know."

"But Sarah did."

"That's… different. We spent a lot of time together."

Wayne's grin is wide. "You mean, you made _sure_ you spent a lot of time together."

"Does it matter which way I had done it? It worked. End of story." Eric studies the guy in front of him very carefully. "Are you looking for advice?"

"Man, if I wanted romantic advice, I wouldn't come to you." They both begin to laugh at that.

"If it's marriage holding you back, promise her the world, say you're intended, write it down on a piece of paper for all I care and be done with it." Eric moves his hand and knocks folders from the desk. "Shit."

"What's eating you?"

Eric slouches into his chair, balancing his arms on the armrest and dipping his head. "I may have told Sarah I loved her while fucking. And then she comes out with all this shit about if I can't love her, at least love the child."

"You know what they say."

"So, you really are a cunt in uniform."

Wayne laughs. "As slick as the one sitting in front of me."

"Touché."

Wayne's phone beeps. The smile on his face descends slowly and he whitens when looking up to Eric. "Uh, erm… Sarah has had an accident. She's in-" The office door swings on his hinges, Eric already down the hall before the door closes behind him.

"Infirmary." Wayne finishes.

" _Yeah, that looks like love… that's love_." He mumbles to himself, gathering the fallen paper. "He's fucked."

* * *

"I'm fine." Sarah tells the nurse who is wiping the grazes on her thigh. The stockings that usually adorned her legs lay shredded in a pile at the end of the bed. "I caught myself." She shows her hands which the boisterous nurse grabs, blotting them with gauze. "I'm not usually that clumsy." She looks up to Stacey who smiles sympathetically from beside the door, but she's mainly trying to tell the doctor who is also next to the bed on her other side, preparing for an ultrasound.

Self-dignity is gone with her dress pushed over her stomach and exposed to the room.

"You're pregnant, Sarah. It's a known fact that sense of balance is misjudged. We have to check."

Sarah flinches at the cold gel spread quickly against her skin; the doctor already busy locating the baby.

"The floor was wet. I didn't fall over my own feet…" Sarah says defensively.

"The daily risk of the Dauntless mess hall." Stacey rolls her eyes. From out in the corridor Eric's voice is heard and Stacey steps to one side as Eric enters, sending the door flying. "Mr. Coulter, everything is fine there is no need-"

"I'll be the judge of that. What happened?"

"Apparently, she slipped." Stacey cuts in before Sarah, leaving the Abnegation with her mouth open.

"It was wet and I was just coming back to the office. I didn't mean to take so long."

"I'm not worried about that." He frowns at her stupid conclusion. "The baby?" He's breathless, looking up to the screen.

"Is fine." The doctor declares as the sound of the heartbeat echoes into the room. "Absolutely fine."

Eric rubs his forehead in relief, stepping closer and caressing the back of Sarah's hand. "You feel alright?"

"Yes, Eric."

Stacey waves silently to Sarah as she leaves with the nurse behind her.

"I've been telling everyone I'm okay and nobody is listening." But she's lost him to the fascination of the screen and the whirling, water soaked sound thumping around the room. Now she sees the admiration on his face.

"Gender?"

Sarah hits his hand, frowning at how professionally he asks. "Is that really important right now?"

"Yes." Eric tilts his head towards the doctor. "I want to know if I'm right."

The doctor waits patiently, chewing the side of her mouth for minute. "As long as it's agreed. You don't want to spoil it."

"Well, I want to know," He says stubbornly. "Come on, Sarah." Eric tugs her little finger, goading her to agree.

Sarah sits silently for a minute and Eric's eyes begin to narrow at her in his impatience. To be fair she had no qualms about finding out whether they would be having a girl or boy, either way it wouldn't make any difference what so ever. However, she just thought it wouldn't be on a day like today and completely out of the blue. She imagined it scheduled and a building of nerves surrounding the appointment. But that wasn't to be, fate had decided that all on it's own. Another thing that was out of her control, much like everything else.

"Okay." It was the first glimpse of excitement rippling off Eric and who was she to deny him? "I'm ready." She exhales a shaky breath. "I'm ready."

The doctor roams over the baby one more time before holding the image. "Congratulations. It's a boy. A very healthy and content baby boy."

Eric grins widely at the screen and Sarah notices the swell of pride ruminating from his stance. When he catches her looking, he automatically straightens himself out, inspecting the grazes on her legs. "You _have_ to be careful."

The Doctor makes herself scarce, gathering her equipment and nods to Eric in passing.

"Let's get you home. That's where you will stay for the rest of the day."

"It's just a bruise…" Sarah's mumbles watching him bend down to retrieve her boots and carefully slides one on over her bare feet. With her face set in a sulk, Eric grabs her middle toe gently and pulls till she laughs.

"My clumsy little Abnegation."

* * *

"How old is your daughter?" Sarah asks Clair who is busying herself on her computer. The pen pot on the desk she finds irritating, all the ends of the pens showing and none of the caps. Clair had weird habits she had only just started noticing.

She would have had the caps of the pens facing upwards and she twirls one quickly to disrupt the order.

"She is twelve." Clair frowns, snatching the crooked pen and placing it, in her eyes, correctly. "Adriana."

"What's your boys name?"

"Jacob." She clicks her tongue. "Nope sorry, the report hasn't been sent back yet."

"Oh." Sarah really didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Work had been going well in the past weeks and she was eager to know more over the progress of the renovations. "It was supposed to be this morning."

"I'll call them." Clair picks up her phone, but stops when Sarah's eyebrows shoot upwards and she hunches forward, touching her stomach. "What? What is it?"

"I think…" The fluttering in her belly is undeniably the baby moving. "…it's the baby!" She bounds off quickly, opening the door to Eric grimacing over his work. "Eric!"

"What?" She floats over, grabbing his arm off the desk and putting it to her stomach. "Sarah, I don't have-" The movements ripple inside and she watches his face specifically in complete anticipation, waiting for the realization to kick in. Eric's mouth parts in surprise. "…He's moving."

"You feel it?"

His other hand cradles till he possessively holds her. "I can."

"I thought before I felt something but I didn't think anything of it. You can really feel it?" She wiggles from side to side excitedly, peering at her ever growing stomach.

Eric manipulates her leg over his, pulling her onto his lap till they slot through the arm holes of his chair. Supporting her back, he soothes her by running them up and down her spine, holding her eyes. "When did this start?"

"Just now. I don't know." She mumbles, the smile on her face still unfaltering. "I'm not scared anymore." She swings her feet, moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Their lips touch for the briefest of moments and she can't help but push her body more against him. " _Come home with me_."

"Right now?"

"Mmmhmm." She giggles as he immediately stands, holding her up as if she weighed nothing. Sarah's teeth nip at his neck while he gathers his things, groaning at the warm mouth at his throat.

In her insistent distractions, he grips the back of her neck, kissing her roughly through the doorway.

* * *

The screeching baby crying throws him from his sleep. Eric's body stiffens as he sits up, everything burningly braced. Through the darkness and some unnatural blindness, he reaches out to Sarah next to him, pushing her to wake her.

"It's your fault." She whispers with red tears pooling in her eyes when he finally finds her face. "It's your **fault**!" When she rips the sheets from her body, the bed is saturated between her legs with blood.  
The crying intensifies. The sensation of gravity lost as he leans backward to create space, trying his hardest to understand, his body not functioning how it would usually.  
As he stumbles back off the bed, about to hit the floor, it changes to concrete, hard and painful as his bare torso smacks against it.

"Why?" A soft voice echoes. Eric's head whips around till he gathers his bearings, quickly jumping back to his feet, fists balled and ready. "My sister?" Mary reaches out with a blonde lock of hair in her palm. The dress she is wearing black, and her face veiled but obviously her. She points behind him.

The light around them is blank and starkly white with only the concrete floor as distinction. There, Sarah lays with her hands neatly crossed on her chest. Pale, blue, dead.

"Sarah?" With one step he covers the distance, pulling her lifeless body up to him, trying to find the baby bump which is not there. "No."

Logic begins to play. "I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming." Throwing his hands up to his ears as he stands, clamping his eyes closed, "Wake up. Fucking wake up." Falling to his knees, it's not the baby screeching, but his own voice…

Eric startles, eyes opening and back in his bedroom once again. There is not a sound and his senses adjust quickly.

It feels too early to be awake, some time in the early morning. Swinging his legs from the bed, he rests his head in his palms, pushing them into his eyes and dabbing the sweat beading his forehead.

Sarah springs to mind and he turns quickly, only to find her completely asleep and unaware. With a deep breath, he forces himself back in bed, checking her over and flattening the hair from her face before lying against her. Pulling her body towards him and holding her tightly, she only hums, her body enticingly warm and he lets his hand scour across her stomach, feeling for his baby to help him sleep.

It was his first nightmare in years.

* * *

Come Sunday, Sarah waits for Mary in the Pit to arrive. This was a new routine so she could see the progress of her nephew.

Mary is grinning so widely, Sarah was sure her cheeks were about to split. "You're huge!" They hug over her bump.

"I guess my body couldn't keep it held in anymore. I _am_ halfway there now…"

"Hello, Baby. I'm your Aunty." Mary coos, leaning over.

"Stop it!"

"What! Remember, I'm seeing you week by week and there is such a difference!"

"I look fat."

"You look like a fried egg." Mary rests her hands on her hips.

" _What_?"

"A fried egg tilted on its side. The white bits all flat and skinny then just this big blob." She exaggerates with her hands.

"Okay, Mary. Do not ever be a midwife or anything in the form of comfort to pregnant woman… _ever_." Sarah peers down at her bump, secretly stroking it so no one could see and then stretching her cardigan over it. Mary's face is frowning.

"What's wrong with Eric?"

In the far corner with a platoon of soldiers standing by him, he's watching them. The color from his face is drained and dark rings circle under his eyes. His deflated and agitated persona could be seen from across the room.

"I'm worried. I didn't want to mention anything as I thought it would pass…"

"Let's get you sat down." Mary begins walking her to a broken concrete wall to one side, aiding her to lean back against it. "Now tell me."

"He's having nightmares."

"And? That's normal?"

"No, I mean really bad ones. He sometimes yells out and he can't sleep afterwards. It's been almost a week."

"What are they about? Does he tell you?" Mary leans back on the wall too, watching Eric going about his business.

"They are of me."

"All of them?"

"So he says. But he doesn't tell me anything else."

"Has he been to the doctor?"

"Eric?" Sarah scoffs. "He said he won't go for nightmares. It's ' _Stupid_ '." She dusts the top of the wall next to her, keeping her eyes downcast. "It's ever since he felt the baby move."

"I think he's afraid."

"Now that _is_ stupid. _Eric_ … afraid?"

"I think he's afraid for you." Mary motions to where he stands, throwing vicious words to the men in front of him, his hands braced behind him and shoulders broad.

"And quite possibly _of_ you." Upon her sister's words, Eric must sense them staring, catching them completely. A flick of his head is all that's needed to know she's beckoned.

* * *

It's the way Eric growls and throws the covers off of him that disturb Sarah. Through the gap in the bathroom door he's rubbing his face fiercely with water, swearing under his breath.

Sarah grabs her nightclothes and slips it over her head, hovering for a second by the door. "Eric, tell me what's wrong?" She pleads, slightly exhausted herself from his constant disturbances.

"Go back to bed." When he stands, he flips back the vanity cupboard next to the mirror, searching through pill bottles and different serums.

"What are you doing?"

"Did I _not_ just tell you to go back to _bed_?" He spits through his teeth. Next, he runs his hand along the shelf knocking everything down. " _It's not here_." He mumbles.

"What?"

"Have you touched anything in here?" Eric turns his head only to glare at her.

"Why would I? I don't even know what's in there?" She takes a step back as he stalks towards her, grabbing the tops of her arms.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Eric, I have no idea what you-" He shakes her suddenly and she lets a small whimper escape, tears tipping out from the corner of her eyes. "You're scaring me."

"Go. _Back_. To. _Bed_." His voice strained as if he was fighting some inner turmoil. The violent essence of him shifts as he moves away and he's quick to throw a shirt over his head, and then joggers.

Leaving without uttering another word.

* * *

"Mary, are you even listening?" John's rubbing his head, massaging his fingers into the old skin of his temples. It was obvious he was suffering with another one of his unforgiving headaches. And she was glad; it was all self-inflicted.

"Sorry." She reaches across the table, taking Thomas's booklet from school and flipping through the pages. "I was just thinking about Mother. Is she still not feeling well?" She lies.

"She's fine and in bed." John says sharply, looking as white as a sheet as he tries to force a glass of water down his throat.

Mary knows he's lying too. They had been fighting; non-stop for days. It was mostly over his drinking and unruly behavior. Of course, being their Mother, she was obsessed over how imposing his problems were becoming to their family and to everyone outside that were beginning to notice.  
The girls at school had even asked Mary how her home life was going, worried for their family because of John. It was only recently he had to be escorted home by some of his old friends as he couldn't walk, merely stumbling and he'd had the marks of his adventures on his arms from probably various tumbles he took beforehand.

There's scampering feet along the floorboards upstairs and if smoke could wisp from her Father's nostrils, they would be right now.

"I better take Thomas to school." Get him as far away that she possibly could.

"Don't be long. There's stuff that needs doing. I want you to come with me to see the elderly couple next door."

"I have school-" She tries to protest.

"You have enough time to come back here and help me!" John shouts unnecessarily.

Mary purses her lips, swallowing down her clipped reply of how she wouldn't have to if he'd give up the drink. "I'll be back as quick as I can."

Reaching the top steps, she detours to her room first before finding Thomas. She picks up her phone hidden beneath her pillow and finds one of the multiple messages she had sent to Wayne.

" _My dad's getting worse. I don't know what to do_."

" _It'll pass_." The message vibrates in her hand only seconds later. " _Can't wait for Sunday_." Pings a second one straight after.

" _Seems so far away_." Mary finds herself sighing before continuing further. " _I wish you were here_." She bites her lip, almost regretting it, but that is how she felt.

It's almost an eternity before he replies. " _Me too_." That one simple message had made her day.

* * *

"You never told me." Wayne throws out to Eric while punching the bags. He is however, a little cautious at Eric's ferocity. The permanent darkened scowl on his face was telling.

"What are you on about now?" Eric hisses out between battered breaths, unleashing another round of practiced moves against the bag.

"I've had non-stop messages from Mary…" Wayne stops, steadying the bag and leaning up against a strut right next to them. His fists throb and he massages each hand vigorously. "…Sarah's daddy is causing a stir. He drinks."

There is a fraction of a pause that signifies to Wayne that Eric is completely aware. "I know." The Dauntless Leader's signature smirk graces them for a second.

"Why has nothing been done if you know? Mary's going bat shit crazy over-"

"Because I've seen his file. I knew the moment I stepped foot in the house. He used to drink nothing other than water…" Eric ducks between his fists, tapping the bag again. "…He's got permanent discolored pigmentation that not even a sober man could get rid of."

"You the master of all body language now too?"

"No, but I know a drinker when I see one." Eric exhales, letting the bag sway from his assault and content he'd let the rut of his frustration out for the evening. "I also knew losing his position in the council would affect him to the point of …" He hesitates, trying not to laugh. "…return."

"Why do I feel there is more to it?"

"There isn't. I hope her bitch of a Mother suffers at the hands of him and I hope he drinks himself dead." Eric shrugs casually. "I don't have to do much, just a tweak here and there and they'll do the rest for me."

Wayne frowns. "Mary is there though. Does Sarah know how bad it is?"

"If Mary is smart she'll be fine." Eric strolls over to his towel and bottle of water next to Wayne's feet, picking them up and looking Wayne in the eye. "And I'm fully aware that you are now the only person who knows. Get what I'm saying?" Out of his gym pants, he pulls a small vial, tapping two drops into his water.

"I won't tell Mary."

"There's not really much to tell. I didn't really do anything." Eric pouts, taking a swig.

"I get what you're saying…" Wayne mumbles, trying to get his balls back and stop acting like a pussy. "I'm thinking of seeing Mary tonight." He watches an amused expression fade in and out on Eric's face. "…And I just need you to sign this." A blue piece of paper is handed to Eric. The thing had felt heavy in his pocket all evening.

The smile on his face grows and he snorts, reading it quickly and signing without a care. "Do you like her?"

"I don't know. I just want to fuck her really. But I kind of like her, I guess." They both turn for the exit, walking shoulder to shoulder and both peering out ahead or around them rather than each other. "I just want to see what they are like underneath."

"Surprisingly, what they say is untrue…" Eric lets slip, taking another swig of water over his smile.

"What's that? They are like rag-dolls? Or that they don't believe in blades? Fuck man… don't leave me like this."

But ahead near the doors, Sarah waits. Wayne watches Eric's attention completely dissipate and he looks hungrily over the small Abnegation, drawing in his bottom lip with his teeth. It only makes Wayne want to see Mary more.

There were similarities between the two sisters. He kind of wonders if he only wants to fuck Mary so he could just get a little glimpse into what sleeping with Sarah would feel like; however sick the thought was. But everyone around him was wondering the same. They all wondered what had got Eric so hooked.

It was the look though, he could tell that much from the distance at which he stopped and Eric continued over to her.  
That look as she peered up at him devotedly. The way he almost looked smug leaning and gazing back down at her.

Wayne's eyebrows furrow deeply, almost hurting with his mouth hanging open in thought. The realization hits him all at once, it was not Mary but really Sarah he really wanted. Just once… Though that would never happen, the closest he could get to her was her sister.

This should've been obvious to himself at the beginning.

With this in mind, he knows for certain he will see Mary tonight. One way or another.

* * *

It's only just hit nine, straight out of the shower, and Eric's already between Sarah's thighs. Her stomach does nothing to put him off, at all. He fucking loved the definite bond they had between them, and how this was all his and nobody else's…forever.

Fuck, he was a fertile man, what was there to lose his shit over?

"Eric…" She murmurs his name, and he moves quicker, high off the notes dripping from her tone of voice. "Eric, Eric, Eric…" That's all he hears, apart from a sharp "Yes," Every so often.

But even with a suppressor in his system, he feels it coming. Not the coming he wants. He tries to keep her nearer, to block it, to forget. His forearms slip underneath her arms and under her back, tilting her upper torso towards him and gripping the back of her neck, holding her closer. But he can see the image, flashing, trying to peel the sides of his mind open and drop into his line of vision. He can almost see the same pale tinge on Sarah's skin, so he closes his eyes, trying to bar the image.

Dropping his head to the crook of her neck as he keeps pace, thrusting over and over, now more angrily then before, her pitch changes. "Eric! Eric, Eric, STOP!" Eric gathers himself to his knees quickly, shaking his head in his disillusioned state.

Sarah's hands rub her shoulders and neck, wherever his hands had curled themselves and attached themselves to while lost in his paralytic world. "Sarah…I'm…" The snag marks from his nails, the crushed skin from his fingerprints immediately begin to redden and swell. "…I didn't…fuck it. I…"

"It's okay." But it's obviously not, as she hides her eyes behind the palm of her hands while her body shudders. She's crying, silently.

Not knowing what to do with himself. Eric gets off the bed, slipping on his clothes. He takes one final look over the bed and Sarah's pulled herself into a ball with the sheets completely covering her.

Contemplating on his next move, he takes a step towards her, but stops.

Eric decides to leave instead.

* * *

Something rattles her dream. Mary sits up suddenly, just as another clink hits the window. Rubbing her eyes, her already racing heart speeds up to something inhuman, coiling a tingling heat up her back.

At first, she thinks it's just the wind, perhaps debris outside. Till she sees another small object actually hit the window this time. Instinctively she pulls her phone out, checking the five missed calls all from Wayne and cursing herself.

Straightening her nightwear, she pads to the window barefooted, pressing her hands to the glass as another flying object has her scare backward. Down, just below, stands Wayne smiling up in his Dauntless uniform and he beckons her with a hand to go to the front door.

" _Oh, you have to be joking_ …" Mary whispers exasperatedly to herself. But it doesn't take her long to be by the door and opening to his gleaming teeth.

"What are you doing here?" She hisses in a low voice. "Do you know what would happen if anyone saw you?"

"The Abnegation police will come and get me?" He chuckles, pushing past her.

"No, you have to leave." When Mary reaches out for him, Wayne tugs her arm, colliding her against his body and using one hand to hold her face, hungrily kissing her.

"You look incredible…" He finally expresses, tilting his head back enough to look down her body. "And I couldn't wait for Sunday. I had to see you."

"We can't talk here. Someone will hear us." She grabs his hand, dragging him through the open dining area and into the kitchen, the door falls shut and this is where he tugs her to him again, not stopping his mouthed assault.

Mary is used to his vivacious kiss, the nip and suck on her lip and the travelling open mouth down her jaw and neck. "Wayne…" She pushes his chest and he merely grunts in response. "Wayne…we can't…"

"Lighten up, Mare. I got the papers. As soon as you pass I'm going to marry you."

Stumped, she diverts her eyes, barely able to look at him. "You… _want_ to…marry me?"

"As soon as we're able, yes. What do you say? I'll give you everything you've ever wanted. It's what I want. Say you want it too…" He all but begs. "…say it."

"I-I…"

"Mare…" He strokes her cheek, "It took me forever to get the nod." His darkened eyes peer at both of hers. "You're not having second thoughts?" The usual smiling face shifts to something none other than annoyed. "I came all this way to see you."

"I know."

"We can be together. Officially together and no one can say anything." Dropping his hand into his pocket, he rummages till he pulls a pale blue Dauntless paper, crumpled and folded multiple times. "Eric's already signed it off." He points to his signature. "You just gotta sign. It means we are intended and when you pass it's one hundred percent legit."

"Wayne-"

"Mare…seriously?"

"I just think it's a bit too-" Before she can finish, he shoves himself away from her, running his fingers through his shadowing of a beard.

"So, you're refusing?" Wayne's voice gets louder and Mary motions with her hands for him to keep it down but he merely turns her back to her, peering into the lounge.

"I'm not outright refusing you. I need time to think it through. To really think it through. It's so sudden… I think you better go." Mary finds it hard to look at his slumped shoulders, watching him stretch out his arm and holding the door frame of the lounge till his shoulders pop.

"Mary, I love you."  
Those three little words she'd wanted to hear have her silenced. She stares at him for a long while so he repeats himself, turning to her and cupping each side of her face.  
"I love you. I'm _in_ love with you."  
Wayne kisses her chastely, and this time she returns it, their movements slow and longing. "I want to be with you. Around you. _Inside you_ …" He drawls in a whisper.

"You do?" Mary asks shyly, still caught in his gaze.

"I'm not used to feeling like this…fuck." Wayne rubs his face with his sleeve. "I better go. I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I didn't mean to just say it out loud like that and fuck it up..."

"No, no. Wait." She grabs the collar of his jacket, stopping him from leaving. "I…" Her voice trembles. Wayne watches very carefully as her nimble fingers work the top button of her nightwear, and gradually she pushes it off of both shoulders till it hits the floor, standing bare in her parent's kitchen.

Wayne reaches out, lightly tracing her skin and breast, his fingers brushing her nipple as they reach her shoulders. Pulling her to the living room, she lies down on the couch stiffly, watching him remove his jacket.

"You sure?"

Mary nods.

The last thing she's aware of is Wayne awkwardly clambering on top of her, his pants already abandoned. Fingers stroke her clit, his mouth by her ear, soothing her continuously. Out of nerves, she traces a crack in the ceiling, trying to let herself melt in to him.

Eventually, she closes her eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N_

Just a reminder that this story will continuously portray sensitive subjects and contain multiple trigger warnings throughout.

Thank you all for your kind words and your Tumblr asks and PM's, all are fantastic!

I think you may really enjoy this chapter. ;)

* * *

 _This is anger,_

Sarah finally decides while hidden beneath the shadows of the archlike corridors. Her hands tremble by her sides, face flushing almost instantly at the sight.

There on the other side of the pit, she watches Wayne flirt, touch, and lean in dangerously close to another woman. From his body language and the way she's acting, there is more to it. The piercing shriek of the woman's laughter cuts through Sarah's body and by now she's had enough, turning away from his wandering eager hands, pawing all over another person and not her sister.

She felt physically sick for Mary. Mary who didn't know, but a Mary who had messaged when apparently she hadn't heard from Wayne for days and wondered if there was a problem.  
 _God damn right there was a problem_.

Sarah turns a little too hastily, almost walking straight into Four who had crept up behind her. "Oh, my god! You scared the life out of me."

He snorts, trying to hide his smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Another loud shriek of laughter has Sarah frowning out into the crowd. "Wayne Tulver. Now that's a fine specimen."

"He's nothing but an insect."

Four cocks his head, "I know he's been with your sister a lot. Must hurt to see this."

"I'm becoming numb to the surprises of Dauntless. No wonder they are the warrior faction."

"Congratulations." Sarah's brow puckers, not at him but riled from everything happening in front of her. "-On the baby." Four grimaces when Sarah quickly folds her jacket over the top of her continuously protruding stomach, feeling somewhat guilty now that he had mentioned it.

"Thanks." For a minute they stand in silence, staring out together, till eventually Sarah clears her throat. "I better go. I can't watch this anymore. I've seen enough."

"Sarah, wait…" Four turns, diverting his eyes, something Sarah had finally tried to push from her everyday demeanor. Going head to head with Eric every day; the floor would become very boring. "I just wanted to say to take care…" Sarah stares at him a little while, her lips parting a fraction, trying to suss him out. "…to be careful."

"I'm perfectly well."

"It's Eric I'm talking about. I shouldn't really say anything, but I can't, not when-" Four motions to her stomach. "there is a child involved."

"Eric would kill you for this conversation we are about to have." Surprise creeps up on Four's face. "If you think for a second I'm blind to what Eric is capable of, think again. If you think I haven't seen the happenings between factions and the side _mishandlings_ of situations, you may as well have called me a fool." However, her words aren't malicious, and she tenderly touches his shoulder. "Thank you for your concern, Four."

The petite blonde then walks away without another word, leaving Four in his thoughts staring out after her. The Abnegation was learning, she was smart, smarter than he had originally thought. Now he saw what Clair saw. What they all saw.

Potential.

* * *

The choice of food was detestable but however inedible, convenient.

Sarah flips the fatty looking pork, suddenly feeling incredibly full and decides to eat only the small selection of carrots and green beans.

"No, eat the meat as well." Eric claps her on the back lightly, then swings his leg over the bench imposingly close to her.

"Have you seen that meat?" She cringes, probing it with her fork. "Anyway, I need to speak with you."

"Oh, please, _please_ don't let it be another work based, unimportant, minor question about whether or not the office furniture is ineptly placed, I can't take it."  
She had never said anything like that in her life. He was mocking her, and she knows so because Eric smirks.

Regardless of Eric's uncontrollable night terrors, he had been somewhat more cautious and softer with her in the day. Maybe trying to make some palpable way to make it up to her, or disguise the fact he was still suffering. Eric was the master at pretending his problems didn't exist.

"Actually, it's nothing to do with work."

Eric puts a piece in his mouth and chews, his face slowly begins scrunching up, his chewing suddenly hesitant. "You're fucking right, it's disgusting."

"I told you." Sarah begins snorting, then full on laughing behind her hand as he openly shows his disgust, "You've gone really pale."

"I'm so close to heaving right now," Eric mutters, deadly serious. Eventually, he swallows. "Need to look into that today, whoever is cooking this shit." He's scouring the table for a drink.

"Here, eat this, cover the taste." Sarah holds up a floppy green bean while still giggling, and shoves it towards him. Oddly, he does, in fact, eat it.

Even if Eric looked pale and their relationship had been come and go, she does notice how handsome he is while casually sitting next to her. Especially while not so stressed as usual. His hair had recently been cut, the sides impossibly short and left with an easily manageable length on top. Nothing fussy like when she had first met him. There was only a shadowing of his facial hair, his complexion clear.  
The thought was amusing that perhaps he got a more manageable haircut for becoming a dad, preparing himself already.

"You're staring again."

"No, I was thinking… I'm really angry."

"Yeah, you _really_ look it."

"You distracted me. But I am really angry. I saw Wayne-"

"Sarah, don't. I'm not getting involved in your younger sister's problems."

"But Wayne hasn't spoken to her, nor given her any idea why-"

"You want the truth? The truth hurts," Eric says while grabbing a bread roll.

"Something would be nice."

"Why does any man suddenly stop talking to someone they have been chasing for weeks?" Sarah shrugs. Of course, she wouldn't know and he sighs in pain of her virtue. "…They got what they wanted."

"You mean?... _oh my god_ …" Unwelcome flashing images of Wayne and Mary together haunt the back of her mind, suddenly reddening her cheeks.

"It's for the best. You don't want her in a relationship with him, do you?" Sarah shakes her head and he nudges her leg with his. "She learned the hard way."

"It's going to destroy her." Eric's too busy shoving food into his face and she gives a long sigh, still mad, but something else clouding her thoughts.

"So…" she draws out, glancing at the table, "…that means _you_ didn't get what you wanted. And still haven't…from me…"

There's only the slightest pause in his movements and he cocks his head to the side. "Are you flirting with me?" Sarah's cheeks turn a whole other shade of pink and he moves closer.

"No…you just said…"

"I know exactly what I said. Are you looking for me to compliment you? Tell you how important you are to my life? How I can't live without you?" Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, he watches her tongue dart out, moistening her lips, exactly as he'd predicted. Eric moves closer till their noses almost touch, forgetting exactly how publicly noticeable they were.

"You know I hate compliments."

"And you know I hate lying to you." Eric moves his body to shroud them, her own turned towards him with his hands somewhere in her hair, gripping the back of her neck, the only thing keeping her from melting into the seat.

Sarah had missed him like this. The ever-knowing Dauntless Leader. Quick thinking. Alert. A few days ago she couldn't stand to be within a few feet of him, now, she wanted nothing more than to have his hands against her skin. It had been a while since affection had been either one of their priorities. Not even comforting words had been shared.

Eric had nightmares. Eric didn't sleep. Eric was obnoxious in the day. That's how the usual scenario played out.  
She just wanted _something_.

Those blue oceanic eyes swim between his as she asks in a whisper, " _Lie to me."_

"Why would I lie to you?" Sarah can't answer while caught under his attentions, and he knows, using his thumb to pull on her bottom lip.  
"I can't live without you."

"Now _don't_ lie to me."

"I can't live without you." He smirks, closing the small distance, kissing her publicly for the first time. But the moment their lips touch, quickly the moment is gone as he pulls back, still with that all-knowing gleam to his mouth. He watches Sarah's face twist and she puts a hand on her stomach. "He's moving?"

"I think he heard your voice," Sarah says shyly, her chin tucked down, comforting herself with dainty fingers swirling over the material of her dress.

Eric continues to watch her, the way she holds herself too maturely, wiser than many other girls her age. He would almost be daring to say _motherly_.

There were many things that always grabbed his attention, causing him to pause at her appearance that little while longer than necessary. But at least he was a little more subtle about it and not caught outright staring like she usually would be. However, watching her now, he was sure he would never forget these small instances, burying them deep within his memory to recall at a more troubling time.  
But doting moments like this always came with backlash and guilt; something that had been gracing him more often than he liked. And that's what forces his next words.  
"I'm not going to the gym tonight. I'll be home early."

" _Oh_."

"Did you have plans?"

"I _was_ going to look at a few baby things, you know. It's typical, I only decided this morning. I didn't know you were going to be home." She's still keeping her eyes downcast, flattening imaginary creases from her skirt.

"If I can get off earlier I'll join you." Sarah smiles faintly on his words but doesn't keep her hopes up.

* * *

The only tailor shop in Dauntless is exactly how she had expected. The choice was minimal, the clothes for children shoved at the back of the small shop that was situated in excavated rock. She sighs, holding up a blue romper, one of two.

They even smelled like rock.

"Most of my stuff I got tailored." Clair walks up behind her.

"Is that a thing here?" Sarah is still frowning at the simplicity and how, overall, Dauntless didn't seem to take the time to invest in children too much.

"Do you know how difficult it is to find a decent tailor, though? For my kids, I had an old lady who I met completely coincidentally because we ended up moving next door to her when Adrianna was due. She's now retired and in the home."

"Home?"

"Don't see many old folks around here, do you? Where do you think they go? Dauntless doesn't have time to run a nursing joint plus military."

"I suppose."

"But, you've hardly seen half of Dauntless." Clair's bluntness doesn't affect her anymore and Sarah sighs, again, for the fifteenth time. "Eric must be busy."

Just the mention of Eric and her back stiffens. "I don't want any of this. I'm done here. You ready to go?" In Clair's hands are a few hangers of stuff for her daughter. The older woman merely forces a smile and nods.

Sarah had her own tailor anyway, a lot closer to home.

* * *

Mary's phone rings for a long time before she answers. "Hello," Sarah says a little too sweetly, buttering her toast she'd made herself and balancing the phone precariously on her shoulder. Ironic.

" _Give me a minute. Let me go upstairs_." In the background, she can hear Mary's labored breathing, her feet stomping up the stairs. " _Okay.._."

Sarah licks the butter off her fingers. "I think there is something we need to talk about. Well, more than one thing…" Mary doesn't say anything, so she continues. "Have you…" She purses her lips, fighting the words. "…have you slept with Wayne?" Just as the sentence falls from her lips, Eric enters the apartment, shrugging off his jacket and looking at her curiously.

" _He said he loved me_." Mary's voice breaks, the tell-tale sign of her crying quietly to herself. " _Now he won't speak to me."_

Rubbing her temple in vain, Eric's hands skim around her waist, pulling her back against him. "I'm sorry, Mary. I tried to-"

" _I'm an idiot_." Mary sniffs, " _I should've known_ ," she then coughs. "... _How's my nephew anyway_?"

"Fine…perfectly fine… Mary just know that-"

" _What was the other thing you wanted to speak about_?" Sarah turns to face Eric, his eyes lingering along her neck, flashing up to meet hers suddenly.  
It was obvious Mary didn't particularly want to talk about Wayne.

"I need baby clothes. I've checked Dauntless out and it's pretty basic."

"Ouch," expresses Eric quietly.

" _You want me to make them_?" Mary's voice gets higher. " _Are you sure? I've never done babies stuff before_?"

"Only if you wanted to. If not, I'll try and find another alternative. But I _really_ wanted you to as I know how amazing you are." Sarah bites her lip, smiling, hoping, praying for her sister to say yes. Unexpectedly Eric leans down, claiming her lips.

" _Get off the phone_ ," he whispers.

" _Okay, let me have a look at a few basic designs and I'll get back to you_."

"You are the best. Are you going to be okay?" Sarah picks up a slice of toast, biting into it under Eric's watchful eye.

" _I've got some school work. I'm just going to concentrate on that and, well, your request_."

"You can call anytime."

" _No she can't_ ," Eric mumbles, lifting her suddenly to sit on the counter. Sarah still grips her toast in hand but grows continuously ticklish to his random prodding touches. Especially the ones that reach for the buttons at the top of her dress, undoing them one by one till she whacks his hand away.

" _I'm so unsure now of when I'm next going to be able to see you._ "

With another massive bite still to chew in her mouth, Sarah only manages, "Soon." Fending off Eric's assault.

" _I hope it's not too long. I really wanted to see the week by week difference_ …"

Eric rips the top part of her dress open, the significant noise of the fabric shredding from his strength and exposing the pale bra underneath. Sarah's chest heaves, managing to catch herself as she tilts back with his needing hands on her thighs, pulling them impossibly closer together.

The toast becomes a casualty.

"Listen, Mary…"  
Sarah barely hears her sister's reply as Eric whips the phone from her hand and cancels the call. "That was mean." But her voice is airy, her mouth parting till his lips press against the valley of her breasts, his tongue swirling up towards her neck.

"Shoot me." Eric smiles on her skin, picking her up and making a break for the bedroom.

* * *

"I really, really, like this." Eric looks smug over the report of the renovations, mainly at Sarah who is furiously pink, quietly sitting in her plastic bucket seat to one side in his office.

Sarah's pillow talk the night before was delightful.

The confused Dauntless personnel standing at attention in front of him shifts uneasily. "Er, thanks."

"Is it almost finished?"

"Just a week. If everything goes according to plan."

"Great, so that means the end of February..." Eric mainly says to himself. "So March. I want it finished by the fifth. That's plenty of time. In the meantime, I'll be checking progress. I'll be visiting this evening."

"Yes, sir."

Eric merely nods as dismissal. With the door shut and alone, Eric pushes her embarrassment further. "I want to do it again."

"Stop."

"Well, I liked it. What can I say?... _shit_." The little Abnegation had also let that little cuss fly as he took her from behind.

Sarah is basically sweating from the heat. "I think you did actually like it." Eric swigs the water next to him. Whatever was in the vials that he was dropping into his water, was working. Two days, no nightmares. Sarah didn't particularly feel comfortable with it, though. But as long as it helped.

Just as she smiles cheekily from her reply and Eric still keeps his casual simper on his face, the door busts open.

"Sir…" Two Dauntless guards; the definition now Sarah saw from one simple strip of mauve on one arm, drags a rather volatile, spit-talking man into the room. Eric just stares flatly, barely moved by the scene in front of him. "…This was a domestic, but he's officially assaulted two officers now."

Eric sighs exasperatedly. The volatile man lifts his chin towards Sarah's wide eyes, spitting. "What the fuck you looking at?"

"Has he taken anything?" Eric asks the guards and they merely shrug.

"I'm down here!" The irate man bunches his shoulders together, then relaxes, holding up his hands, "Look, look, I'm alright. I'm cool." The man looks older than Eric, his head shiny with a V-shaped looking beard hanging from his chin. The red sleeves under his black bodywarmer are frayed and ripped and he looked like he had been in one of Eric's intense training courses for about ten weeks.

Sarah inwardly tells herself not to back away, or move, or even breathe.

"If you're _cool,_ you can tell me what you have done, then? Can't you?" Eric taps a pen on the desk. "No hearsay."

"My wife is fucking another man," he mumbles from his kneeling position.

"Boo fucking hoo," Eric retorts quickly and the bearded man's eyes narrow.

"Nobody does that to me, nobody!" His voice crackles as if all the screaming he'd been doing at everyone had finally taken its toll. "I cut the little bastard. I don't give a fuck. He's lucky I didn't skin him!" The man stumbles to his feet, the guards pinning his arms back behind him again.

There is a shift on Eric's face as he peers between how disgusted the guards are and the anger resonating off him. "What of your wife?"

The bearded guy throws his head back and laughs.

"He maimed her, sir."

"No prick will look at that silly cunt again!" he proclaims, still with his hoarse laughter and Sarah gasps, putting a hand to her mouth. Like a vulture, he catches it immediately. "You'd look pretty with a lovely slice down your face and all! Stiff bitch. Fuck the lot-" He doesn't get to finish.

A shot cracks into the room, whipping the man's head back and forth, forcing the guards to jump to each side, letting the bearded guy slump heavily to the floor. His blood sprays the room behind him, but the droplets ricochet and fan across the room, hitting Sarah's face. The guards get the brunt of it as they stare down at the unexpected horror.

"Problem solved," Eric calmly puts.

Sarah stands, arms tensed, a squeak just leaving her throat. Wiping with numb hands at her face, she turns for the door, running the corridor till she gets to Clair. The old woman's eyes widen significantly. "Get it off!" The more she rubs, the worse it gets.

"Stop, wait." Clair grabs a tissue, licking it to wipe her face and batting off Sarah's flailing hands.

"Clear this up," Eric orders from his office and strolls out into the lobby with timely steps, completely at ease with what he had done.

"She's pregnant, Eric!" Clair finally snaps, still dabbing at Sarah's face. "She's a Stiff!" The motherly and worried tone in her voice stumps him. "She's not used to this. You can't do that!"

Eric rolls his eyes. "She's seen worse."

"Worse than blowing open somebody's skull?"

Eric studies Sarah, face white and shaking. Clair pushes her down into her seat. "He threatened her. I used my initiative. And if you don't mind, I don't like being spoken to like that."

"It's extreme. This is above you, Eric."

"Oh, shut up. Go eat someone else's ass." He waves his hand dismissively. "I'll take her home."

"No."

In the background, Sarah mumbles, "His head…it…" with her eyebrows bowed significantly while recalling the incident.

Clair takes a step towards him. "I'll take her to mine. You and I both know you won't be able to stay with her all day." Eric chews his cheek. "You _know_ I will look after her. For the sake of the child... Keep this up and I wouldn't be surprised if she lost it, then how do you think she would cope with that?"

Eric's face glazes over. A faint shudder in his chest. He backs off almost immediately. "Fine… I want you to call me every hour."

When he walks away, Clair watches him pinch the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. She takes a deep breath, bending down to Sarah. "Come on. Let's get you to mine. Careful now."

* * *

Sarah's eyes flutter from her position on Clair's couch. It's bright, clean and light in the secretary's apartment. But that's not what wakes her, it is the sound of children.

However groggy she is, she sits up slowly, letting her senses come to. There is a partition wall separating the lounge from the kitchen. In the middle sat a square opening so it was easy to see between the two rooms, and, Sarah guessed, to serve food as well.

As she rounds through a small doorway, there, at a perfectly square table sat Clair's two children, busying themselves with drawings.  
The two bright pairs of eyes glance up at her and they still.

"Hello." Sarah cups her hands, and Clair turns from the sink, smiling quickly.

"Kids, why don't you go start getting ready for bed?" Jacob, Clair's son, hugs her quickly and Adrianna is quick to push him, racing each other down towards what she could only fathom as the bedrooms.

"How are you feeling?"

Sarah shrugs, taking in all the personal memorabilia on the walls. One specifically being a family of Erudite. "Are you Erudite?"

"I was. A long time ago." Clair places the dishcloth on her shoulder. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

Clair opens her mouth to respond but the front door swings open with a tall man with bags in each hand. "This is my husband." She introduces him as he marches over, grabbing Sarah's hand and roughly shaking it. He doesn't seem to know his own strength, but however burly, his smile is beaming.

"Greg."

"I'm Sarah." Sarah does notice his eyes fall to her stomach, then to Clair questioningly. She watches as he immediately goes to his wife to peck her on the cheek, cooing a sentimental word. In fear of imposing, Sarah looks away till they are finished.

"Nice to meet you. I'll, um, I'll get the kids ready for bed." He nods in parting, the kids giggling when he finds them messing about in their rooms and they shriek in excitement.  
Sarah's gut drops. This was normal family life. Two hardworking parents who loved each other. Their kids were beautiful, well-mannered and adored.  
It stung like salt in a wound that the realization of this possibly being her and Eric was very few and far between.

"Sit down," Clair orders, pulling the seat in front of her. "We need to talk." The chair legs squeak on the floor and the older woman places her hands neatly in front of her.

"What Eric did was wrong. He does a lot of things...wrong."

"I'm well acquainted with him." Politely she sits, stiffly and altogether cautious of where this was going.

"I'm going to be honest here. When I first met you, I didn't care for you. You were another stranger, a gray walking through our doors."

"I'm not looking for sympathy."

"I don't have sympathy for you. I have sympathy for your child unknowingly being born into this. _You_ knew about Eric." She points provokingly.

"By that point it was already too late." Sarah sternly says back, keeping Clair's eyes that seem so determined to break her.

"Is that what you are going to be saying when Eric one day loses his temper? Are you still going to sit around and hope for the best? ...It's what you've done since you've got here…"

"I don't know whether you are trying to insult me, or aggravate me, or make me feel any more worthless than I do already."

"I'm _trying_ to teach you…And god damn you do have spirit...you are so stubborn!" Clair rubs her brow furiously and Sarah tries to keep her composure, suddenly feeling presented with her school teacher or being potentially investigated by authority. "I'm trying to teach you that it doesn't have to be like this."

"You could lose your job over this, Clair."

But Clair's too caught up in her swelling of emotions. "My god, I'm trying to teach you because your own parents are incapable! I don't know why, but I feel responsible for you. You remind me of my daughter."

Sarah is speechless, she inhales through her nose quickly, peering down to the ground. "I never intended-"

"Stop with the Abnegation shit. Stop pretending that having this baby it will make things suddenly get better. Stop pretending that you can live like this, like a…caged bird all your life. Stop deceiving-"

" **I love him**!" Sarah stands, her whole body shaking. "I love him…" she says more quietly, trying to grip her furiously trembling hands. "I love him because not everything he does is always bad. I love him for the unguarded, off-duty leader at night when we are alone. The smiles that he doesn't show anybody. The only person there for _me_ when my sister died, when I really needed someone. _He_ was there."

"And so is the delicious traps that tempt its prey down from the tree."

"I want to leave." Sarah's crying, rubbing at her face with her sleeves and pacing. "Let me out, I want to leave."

"Sarah, please, think about it. I'm trying to help you. I know I can help. I know people." Clair cautiously steps towards her, arms outstretched, waving in comfort. "There is someone I-"

Just the touch of her fingertip and Sarah pushes her away. " **Get off of me**!" Her voice screeches, causing the older lady to startle backward. "Don't touch me. Don't come near me… Keep away from me and my baby!"

Greg appears from one of the bedrooms "Is everything okay?" and Clair waves him off.

"I'll take you back to Eric's."

"You will do no such thing. Thank you for your hospitality, but I'm one hundred percent sure I have now outstayed my welcome." The Abnegation shoves on her boots by the door, grabbing her gray long strapped bag from the floor and placing it over her shoulder before impatiently waiting without a word for Clair to type in the code.

As the golden blonde hair disappears down the corridor, Greg slides his arm across Clair's shoulders. "You tried."

"It takes time to come to terms with reality. She's stubborn and equally afraid. That's all it is. "

"Perhaps it's time to think of a new way."

Clair narrows her eyes. "...perhaps. But with Eric, we don't have to do too much."

* * *

Having not been to Clair's before, navigating the way home proved tiresome. But once Sarah found herself at a twirling staircase caked in dust and dirt, a place she guessed wasn't used often, she was fascinated to find it to be a staircase linked to the rooftops that she'd never used before.  
Sarah's phone begins vibrating in her pocket, she knows instantly who this is. "Hello, Eric."

" _Stay where you are_."

Sarah pants, her fitness having gone to pot since confined to Dauntless. "...Okay."

" _Why are you out of breath? Why didn't you go down? Don't answer that, just stay there._ " The phone clicks when he disconnects the call and she puts it back in the annoying gray bag that's hit her hip with every step that she's taken. Looking up through the middle, there is only one floor left till the roof exit, so she continues up regardless of Eric's warning. The cold air from outside was dusting down and just gracing her, enough to have her long to feel it for real, against her own skin freely.

The door creaks, slamming closed behind her. The breeze is freezing, sub-zero and biting, instantly stinging her hands and forcing a dry cough from the sudden change in temperature. But from the climb it is a relief, flooding her with awakening endorphins, especially as the sun sets, beaming across her pale skin.

Sarah shuts her eyes; much like she did when it snowed, taking a moment. This was release. In her third eye, she saw herself stepping onto the ledge, arms outstretched and toppling herself forwards. Not hurtling to the ground however, floating, down towards sun-warmed grass. The density soft beneath her feet, far from concrete and ruined buildings.

Boots crunch on the gravel behind her and she lets the smile that had grown, drop, not bothering to face Eric. "Sorry, I just needed-"

"Stiffs shouldn't go wandering on their own. It's against the rules."

Sarah turns so fast she almost loses her footing. "Wayne…" She's about to ask where Eric is and catches herself, thinking quickly. "If you have come to gloat, go ahead. There is nothing you can say that I don't already know."

"Nah…" He runs his tongue along his teeth, stepping closer. "Just getting some air. Funny seeing you here." Sarah turns her back to him when he becomes too imposing. He keeps shifting behind her till he bumps his chest into her back, and she can feel his breath against her neck.  
"You still are a beautiful little thing, aren't you. Really what mother nature intended for natural beauty." She cringes as a finger paws at the flyaway hair by her ear.

"I have no idea what my sister saw in you…"

"More than you took the time to notice." When he inhales by her head, Sarah turns, raising her palm to his face. But he catches it, clucking his tongue mockingly.  
"Why you so mad?"

"You shouldn't touch me like that. And-and how dare you use my sister. She's young, and you're just…" Sarah stammers. "...filth, utter filth." Becoming suddenly fearful doesn't help her train of thought. She manages to sidestep him and head back towards the door. She doesn't make it far.

Wayne spins her, pulling her out of the direct line of the door and pushing her against the brick next to it. "Listen you little bitch. I do what I want to do. So what I screwed your sister? She enjoyed it. Maybe, for the hell of it, and for your high-and-mighty attitude, I'll go back for round two, put my dick in her mouth. I bet she'd let me. In fact, she'd beg me to."

"Why have you got such a problem with me? Why? What have I ever done to you?"

"You exist. That's my problem. Prancing around in front of me. Eric under your thumb...nah… I tell you what is funny, though, you _always_ want what you can't have." When his hand strokes the top of her arm, Sarah peers down, connecting the dots, a disturbed breath whipping out in a coiling cloud between them. Slowly, she looks up, and he smiles. His mane of hair is falling in front of his face causing him to look all the more maniacal in that moment. The stench of cigarettes is putrid. But still, from somewhere, she finds the confidence to keep her head up.

With quivering lips, Sarah speaks through a tensed jaw, holding back the war of emotions threatening to consume her. "You're sick." But he's too close now, too close to her mouth, his eyes dropping down her body. She whimpers, leaning back against the wall till she could feel the brick scratching her scalp. One hand protectively sits over her bump, the other pushing against his chest. "Don't."

"I have to know…"

She can almost feel his lip graze against hers. The thickness to his voice evident in blind desire.

"I have to know what you are like…"

The catch on the door chinks and Wayne turns his head. In that split second, Sarah makes a choice. It feels like in that second, to only seem like a heartbeat.

Half a heartbeat to catch Wayne by surprise.  
Half a heartbeat to place his hand from her shoulder unknowingly against her breast.

Eric's bulk fills the doorway and he turns his head, quickly assessing what was in front of him. "What the fuck?"

Sarah ducks, shamefully hiding her face towards the brick wall behind her. Wayne rights himself, clearing his throat and holding up his arms in mercy. "That was not what it looked liked."

"You want to tell me what that looked like?" Eric scans Sarah again when she turns to the casual tone of his voice.

Unusually calm. Unusually collected. Completely deadly.

Wiping at her eyes, Eric holds her gaze a little longer. With her initial step being timid, she begins slipping against the wall till she falls behind him, the dainty fingers gently curling on the arm of his jacket.

However, she doesn't say anything in fear of how weak of a liar she was. Though, most of what Wayne had done was inappropriate, what she had done: necessary.

"You serious, man?" Wayne begins, motioning between them. "I...would not. She forced my hand! Look at her, playing innocent. We were arguing…"

As Wayne continues to attempt to make pathetic excuses, Eric sneers down towards Sarah latched onto his arm. Sarah's eyes are wide, guarding against Wayne prattling on in front of them, flicking up to his warily.

Eric reaches down to his knife on his leg, unsheathing it. "You wouldn't lie to me, Sarah?" He exhales, juggling the weight of the knife in his hand. Sarah shakes her head, barely able to stand with the air constricting in her lungs.

"He touched me."

With an effortless flick, the knife invisibly whips through the air, hitting Wayne in his thigh. The cry afterward is deafening and he stumbles immediately to the ground, straining his breath through his teeth.

Eric pushes her back, "Turn around. Face the door. But you don't leave this fucking roof," he warns her, stomping off towards Wayne.

Sarah tries to find a happy place to disappear to, but it's hard when Wayne chants desperately, "What the fuck you doing? What the fuck you doing!?" his voice high and strangled as Eric edges closer. She hears his body dragged from the floor.  
"All of this over her. Fuck, Eric. I know her type. _You_ know her type. I don't know what the fuck you see in her, man. She's just a Stiff. Bang her sister and you'll know there is no difference. I don't know why you waste your time."

"I don't care what you see in her…"

From where her back is turned, Sarah startles as Wayne screams. It wasn't a yell or a shout. It was the sheer terror of a man in immense pain. Wayne's boots thrash against the gravel, his shriek turning into a long sobbing moan.

Against her better judgment, Sarah turns at the audible thud of a body hitting the floor.

Balled like a fetus, Wayne whines loudly, the torrent of blood pulsing down from his face and pooling onto the gravel.  
Eric stands with his right hand spread by his side, the entirety of his thumb red, splatters from the force he had used flicked upon his clothing.

"...but whatever you did see in her…" Eric continues. "...Will never be the same."

Sarah thinks of all Wayne's backhanded comments. The time he slammed her hand down on the cutlery and threatened her. The time he stirred the knowledge of Eric and Nina together to get back at her. Sarah thinks of her sister. Then, for once, of herself.

She would do anything for the ones she loved.

 _An eye for an eye_.


	21. Chapter 21

Eric comes to a stop in front of Sarah. Her eyes linger down at Wayne, her expression considerably stern for what usually fronted the normally open and telling features.

For a minute, Eric doesn't say anything, breathing heavier than before and he keeps his hollow gaze towards the door. "I told you not to turn around," he says but there is nothing menacing behind his words. He turns his head to check over each shoulder and then gently guides her back to the door, sighing through his nose.

As the door swings to, Eric pulls the fire handle up, locking it, and essentially locking Wayne outside.

Sarah can't look at him, holding her stomach still defensively. "Eric, I…I just-"

He cuts her off and says in a flat voice, "I'm decommissioning you."

"What?" She reaches out, pulling on the sleeve of his jacket. "You can't. I'm still fully capable."

"I can't have you at work with me anymore. It's not safe. Clair made a good point… I've already done it so there is no point in arguing." Eric takes her arm, watching her down the steps.

"What am I supposed to do for the next…four months?" She frowns at him suddenly treating her like an invalid, purposefully walking ahead, guiding her step by step.

"What I want to know, is how you thought you were getting back to the apartment? What I want to know, is what caused you to leave Clair's so suddenly and not call me? What I want to know, is whether _you_ led him on."

"After everything, I find that insulting," she huffs out incredulously.

Eric narrows his eyes, his jaw flexing in thought. "Why? He's my friend for over ten years and that's a first," he scoffs, "…and last."

"I think you know why."

"Enlighten me." He smiles falsely from below her on the steps and Sarah takes another, leaving her at his level. His composure stutters for just a second.

Her sight travels between dots of Wayne's blood on the front of his uniform, then to the specks on his face. She can see he's trying his hardest to remain relaxed while standing so equally in front of her. Sarah has nothing to lose when running her fingers along the underside of his jaw, leaning forward till their lips brush.

"Say it," he hisses and his austere persona is ruined by the desperate plea in his voice. "Say it, damn you."

"No," she shakes her head and a sweet smile dances across her lips,"I want to hear it from you."

Eric's eyebrows shoot upwards, his teeth glinting at her audacity. "I just defended you. I chose _you_."

"So, it shouldn't be so hard!" Sarah exclaims and she frowns at him, "What is hard about this? Why can't you just tell me what you are really thinking? How you feel? Are you ashamed? Are you ashamed of me?"

"I'm not ashamed of you," Eric speaks quickly.

"Then what? Am I a possession? Just a _thing_ to you?"

"You're not-"

"When the baby's born, then what, are you going to decide that you don't want me anymore? That you don't have time. That you're bored?"

"I'm done with this conversation." Eric turns to leave and Sarah suddenly pushes him, knocking him down a few steps. Registering what she's just done, she pushes him again. "Sarah," Eric warns, but she pushes him again, harder.

"What, Eric?" She hits his chest with the side of a balled-up fist. "This seems to be the only way to communicate with you!"

"You're going to hurt yourself."

"I am _sick_ of this. I need more, more than… _this_!" She slaps his face. A hard slap, the sound echoing down the stairwell.

Eric's fast, grabbing her arms and pinning them either side of her while pushing her against the nearest wall. Every last ounce of strength against her emotional assault fails him in an instant.

"You need fucking more? You need me to say it?!"

Sarah blinks, her mouth parting in surprise. "Something!" her voice squeaks.

"I've never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn't stand losing. But it's too late for that. It's too late for that because I've somehow managed to _illogically_ fall in love with you." His face flushes, his lips grimacing while hissing the words close to her face. "Foolishly!" Sarah's head falls back as he brings her away from the wall. "You irritate the fuck out of me and _god damn it,_ I could smother you sometimes, but I need you in my life!" He takes a deep breath. "…And that isn't me. Never has been... Is _that_ what you want to hear? _Is it_? The words of a condemned man?"

"Why does that make you condemned?" Sarah pants, calming from her frustration and shook from his sudden outburst.

"Because it makes me weak."

"You're human…"

"I'm Eric Coulter. Leader of Dauntless. I can't be weak." Eric lets go, rolling his shoulders back to his full height.

"It only makes you weak if you let it. If you think that way… Is that what the nightmares are? You're afraid?"

"I am _never_ afraid!"

" _Eric_ …" She reaches for him. Him and his fretting movements. The hand that wipes at his brow and rubs fiercely at his temple. But he hits her hands away.

"The sooner you accept who I am, the sooner it will stop hurting. The sooner you will stop looking for the things you need from me."

"I have never tried to change you."

"Good," he squints, his face darkening, "Because I never will." He takes the rest of the steps, opening a door to a corridor and holding it without another word.

* * *

Sarah doesn't have a lot of stuff. But the disarray in the room is tedious. She doesn't like the bed pushed up against the wall. The side cupboard is not close enough…

But she had to admit the new apartment is much, much bigger. The kitchen more squared off from the lounge. The three bedrooms running off down a single hallway. Next to the main bedroom, the second biggest room was what she intended to be the baby's room. All that sat inside was a single chair.

And that's where she finds herself. Sitting, alone, looking at the white walls. There was a window, a small window, but the view was over a low connecting roof of another building. It wasn't pretty. She dared to think Abnegation was prettier.

The chair faces the window, and when she leans back, slouching in the seat, the blue sky is her main focus. She sits and she stares.

Growing weary of the sight before her, she heads to the bedroom, going to nap on top of the awfully positioned bed.

* * *

Mary can see him through the gap in the door. Her eyes cast in spite, but face paling with the thought of coming face to face with him again.

Entering quietly and shutting the door, Wayne still remains unaware, his good eye closed and breathing steady. Though there was multiple cots in the room, they are empty. The green, limp curtain around his bed hanging half open.

She'd already been to see Sarah. Telling her that she had to see Wayne at some point. She had to see what Eric had done. And she also had to know why.

She hadn't forgotten to tell Sarah about the papers Eric had signed in the process either. Wayne wasn't the only guilty party. She still absolutely hated him regardless. It was just closure on her part. Closure she was denied when Wayne outright refused to speak to her afterwards.

Walking up to the side of his cot, she clasps her hands in front of her, eyeing up the drip in his arm and wanting nothing more than to rip it out in anger. The bandage wrapped around his head cut into his hair, making it jut out messily. The leg Eric had stabbed was out of the covers, propped up and strapped.

For only a moment she wonders whether he will be awake enough to speak to, whether the painkillers would have an effect on his consciousness. But he didn't deserve the time or her consideration.

His good eye suddenly opens, half-hooded and his lips part. "Come to finish me off?" he asks, his voice gritty and low.

Mary snorts through her nose. "I wouldn't waste the energy."

"Why the fuck you here, Mary?"

"Because I wouldn't miss this for the world. One-eyed Wayne kind of has a ring to it."

"Get the fuck out of here."

"Make me." She watches him struggle to find the nurses button, just swiping it out of his reach before he can claw his way to it.

"I'm warning you!"

"You are in certainly no position to warn me." Suddenly he lunges out with a growl, and she manages to tilt back just in time. " _You_ tried to kiss my sister. My _pregnant_ sister. Your _best friends'_ partner." Mary laughs suddenly, a little sardonically, covering her mouth quickly with her hand. "The Leader of Dauntless' love interest... You are an absolute idiot."

"Fuck you! You were nothing but a wet cunt to slip my dick in."

"Hmm...yeah... I agree with you, I was... That's all I was to you." Mary throws the control under the bed. She grabs just above his knee, close to the stab wound and Wayne cries out, then winces from the pain radiating from his expression, burning the skin around his damaged eye from his grimace.

"I will probably be one of the last wet cunts that you will ever slip your dick in. With a limp and one eye, you don't have a chance." Mary turns her back to leave.

"Wait...wait...Mare, Mare, listen! Just give me the control...the pain. Look, I'm sorry!"

"Goodbye Wayne...and... good luck. You're going to need it." She shuts the door.

"Mare!" his voice echoes behind her while she walks away. "Mary!"

But she smiles to herself.

* * *

Finishing work early was rare. With the entrance hall to the new apartment, Eric could enter more quietly, without being noticed. The place is spotless, but more homely since he'd given Sarah the chance to dress it, along with the help of her sister.

Sarah's voice travels from the bedrooms, humming to herself. Stopping in the doorway of the spare room, he finds her sitting cross-legged on the floor over a box, folding small clothes.

Tucking his chin towards his chest, he swallows the silent lamenting sigh. But his phone beeps from an e-mail and Sarah turns her head. However, she scowls, turning back and continuing.

"I hate lying to you...that was your words," she says calmly while laying a romper on a small pile in front of her.

He waits for her to continue and when she doesn't, he sighs in exasperation, "I have no idea what you are talking about," he pinches the bridge of his nose and adds, "So please, do elaborate."

"Wayne. My sister."

"I'm sick to the back teeth of hearing about them." He hits the doorframe with his knuckle in passing, leaving to pace the kitchen and scouring for a strong drink. Eric opens up the cupboards as Sarah comes up behind him. He just about uncaps the lid to pour it when she shoves his arm, spilling it across the counter. "What? Can't I even get myself a drink now? I don't know why I bothered finishing early!"

"You signed the papers off for Wayne!" She points a finger accusingly at him. "You knew all this time! You knew what he was going to do and you let him! Is my sister now stuck with that scumbag?"

"Did she sign it?" he scoffs.

"She told me she didn't."

"No harm done then." He shrugs, drinking the alcohol he did manage to get in the glass. "Clean this up," he motions to the mess in front of him.

"You clean it up!" She grabs a cloth off the side, throwing it in his face and turning her back on him.

"Being a bitch doesn't suit you, Sarah. You don't talk to me like that and you definitely don't walk away from me."

"Go back to work, Eric. I'm better off on my own."

The smash in front of her makes her yelp. The bottle indenting the brand new and freshly painted walls. Just as she turns, Eric is stalking towards her, his face inches from hers.

"Better off on your own?"

"We don't talk anymore. And when we do, it's some argument about one thing or another that _you_ have done."

"I'm trying here," he hisses out through gritted teeth, the heat rushing to his face.

"And I'm not? My whole life is shrouded by you. Everything. I don't have a job or a purpose."

Eric flaps a hand, giving her the cold shoulder. "Stop being over sensitive."

"I sit around and wait for you. How long do you think I can do this before I start going out of my mind? I can't live like this." Sarah suddenly sees what Clair was trying to get across. A caged bird. "And I can't live with so many lies and secrets."

"The Mary thing was not of any importance. It's not like I forced her to do anything. She had her own free will."

"No, but you encouraged _him_. And what about my pass?" Eric rubs the side of his temple. "You've canceled my pass. I found out when I went with Mary to see her out and I couldn't get past the entrance of Dauntless. I'm restricted now?" Her voice warbles. "You kept that quiet. And what about these meetings you have been doing outside of Dauntless?"

He looks at her quickly. "How do you-"

"How do I know? Because I get lonely and I wonder where you are. I go to find you and you are not in your office and I have to have Clair explain to me that you are not even in the compound." Tears begin to stream down her face. "It's like you're making excuses to be as far away as possible. Like I'm a nuisance."

"You're being hysterical."

"I'm being reasonable. You don't touch me anymore. You don't even bother to say goodbye when you go. I am a prisoner. I am a prisoner here. A prisoner in my own body!" She shakes from the upset. "I need...I need to sit down."

"Sarah, here-" he reaches out for her.

But she pushes his arm away, fleeing into the bedroom. "Just go away!" The door slams behind her and she sobs from inside. " _Just go away_ … _go away_ …"

* * *

Silence was usually a virtue.

He had praised Sarah on her capability of remaining silent when necessary or being comfortable to rest in it with each other without issue. ...But a week was enough.

It wasn't their usual silence. It was a pissed-off-woman silence that he found irritatingly pathetic if he was honest. Eric was used to shouting or brawling it out. Smart remarks. Obvious anger...

Sarah was blank. It was the only way he could explain it.

Now they sat opposite each other, the scraping sound of cutlery between them at their new table that fitted perfectly with their new apartment and new surroundings and new furniture. ...It never felt barer, washed out like seemingly Sarah had become.

He finishes his food first, watching her sit rigidly and barely looking up from her plate. Eventually, he leans back, hooking an arm over the chair next to him and huffing exaggeratedly.

There was a multitude of topics of conversation or things he wanted to say, and he surprises himself by coming out with the most insulting first. He was never one to beat it around the bush.  
"Your clothes aren't fitting properly."

Slowly her eyes trail up to him, but she still doesn't say anything, quietly chewing.

"You can detest me all you like, but it doesn't stop you from half smothering me every night."

The top of her cheeks begin to tinge pink, then, collectively, she places her cutlery down, slowly pushing out the chair and standing. When she reaches for his plate, he captures her hand. She doesn't resist.

"Can you just…" he hesitates, "Say something...anything."

There's another long silence, and coldly, she murmurs, "Thanks for dinner."

Eric juggles her fingers for a second, kissing his teeth when she pulls away.

* * *

"Sarah, do _not_ open that door!" he demands furiously but she ignores him, bag in hand and acting as if he didn't exist. "Sarah-"

However, he stops himself from begging because he finally realizes there is no evidence of his child. She turns and smiles.

The dreams were so recurrent that when he now woke, it was mainly just a cold sweat covering his body and a long drawn breath to finish the pounding of his heart. Lying flat on his back, he reaches out next to him, touching just cold sheets. Swift confusion puckers his brow and he throws his legs out of bed, striding to the door and peering out down the hall.

Sarah's already looking at him from the kitchen, her hair loose down her back and shoulders, eyes wide but knowing. Her nightwear now hung from her abdomen, lifting the front higher and leaving her cleavage fuller. One side of her mouth lifts fractionally in a weak attempt at acknowledging him.

"You were dreaming," she bites into a slice of red apple. "...Again."

"Don't I know it." Quickly her eyes drop to his boxers and the tired stride towards her. He stops, looking at the mess of food she has on the counter.

"Are you…" She picks up a knife, turning half an apple over and pushing down into it. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better now you've finally decided to speak to me," he says and smiles down at her.

Sarah pulls her hand back, having not been concentrating. " _Ah…damn it_ …" The knife had just nicked her finger. A small gathering of blood begins to trickle from the tip.

"Let me see." She lets him take her hand, cupping it gently, rubbing his thumb against her palm and over exaggerating his inspection. "...I _think_ you'll live." Bringing it up to his mouth, he sucks on her finger, watching the way her lips part, the breath hitch in her throat, and eyes shooting up to his.

Sarah clears her throat, turning back to her food. "Thanks."

He sighs, pursing his lips in reluctance, "Sarah, I apologize, if that's what you want to hear."

"You know, I did want to hear you say it," she smiles but it fades quickly, "But at the same time, it still feels empty. You're only saying it to make me happy."

"Yes, of course! All I ever do is try and make you _happy_ ," he sneers, "I _try_. I'm _trying_ to give you space. Then I think it's too elusive and you give me shit for that as well. I can't win either way."

"Because you don't _understand_! You can't seem to comprehend the damage you do or have already done." Her knuckles whiten on the knife as she drops her head between her shoulders, leaning against the counter. "I'm exhausted. I'm tired of fighting with you. If this is what you want, a shell, a timer to the birth of a child that will only make things worse, and that's guaranteed, then let's carry on like this," she puffs out in deflated anger.

He waits for her to calm down for a moment and then genuinely asks, "What do you want?"

"What I want, other than the usual? Trust, respect - and what's more important, love. What I want is a job, my pass and a say in what happens around me." Sarah stands to her tallest, defiantly grinding her teeth. "And I won't take anything less, _Eric_."

Eric stays quiet for a moment, letting her breathe out the anger before he smirks at her mischievously, "Say my name like that again."

Sarah frowns, groaning with disdain. " _What_?" She tries to process what he means, noticing how dilated his pupils have become and increasingly feeling a little unnerved by the way he hungrily stares down at her.

"Say my _name_ like that _again_ ," Eric repeats and tilts his head, knocking the knife out of her hand. Stepping forward, he forces her to take a step away. When she remains silent, he demands loudly, "Say it!"

" _Eric_."

It wasn't the same, but it works for him. He grabs her head, guiding it towards him and pushing their lips together. His tongue juts out, flicking against her top lip, urging her to deepen the kiss.

"I haven't tasted you for weeks…" he groans sensually, biting at her lower lip. "And you taste like fucking apples." His fingers are gentle, slipping through the length of her hair and tangling into a fist to control her movements. "I want you," he whispers against her lips.

"You want me? You earn it," Sarah retaliates and his hold tightens. Grabbing his neck, she causes him to pause, frowning down at her darkly, so she explains,"I need you to say you will do what I've asked. I need to hear it from you."

"Compromise." Eric runs his hands under her nightwear, trailing the soft sensitive skin on Sarah's sides. "Half days."

"My pass-" she gasps as he attacks the pale part of her neck, pushing against her continuously to somewhere in the room she can't quite grasp.

"Granted." In one swift movement his boxers are down and he steps over them, guiding her back. "But you don't go near the perimeter fence." He strips the white nightdress from her body, straight over her head and discards it carelessly.

Suddenly, Eric drops and Sarah realizes he's sitting on the couch, legs wide apart but still gripping her hand and tugging her down. He guides each leg either side of his so she is straddling him. The warmth of their skin, his touch and more so his urgency tweak something deep inside her and she almost matches his ragged breathing. She kneels up, though, not letting him just take what he wants so easily, even if his hands tug impatiently at her skin.

She runs a hand up the back of his hair, scraping his scalp and uses her other hand to tilt his head back to look up at her by the vulnerable part of his neck, fingers merging against the stripes of his tattoos. "I mean every word I said tonight."

"I know," he smirks.

Out of pure pent-up annoyance, she squeezes his cheeks, causing him to pout and she bites his lip harshly. He hisses, his hips jutting up till his erection strokes her core. "Go back on your word, Eric, and I swear-"

"I won't," he scoffs in his own form of amusement, then groans, face falling in awe as she tightens her fingers around his neck while sinking down on top of him. " _Sarah_ …" he moans and she smiles triumphantly, catching Eric's own in admiration.

If only he knew that she'd watered down his suppressive medicine that sits neatly in the bathroom cabinet.

* * *

By June, Sarah found simple tasks more tedious. Like tying her boots, shaving her legs, even walking from the apartment to the Leader's Suite. Eric's suggested half days were actually a godsend, even though her duties were minimal. She found her energy levels had significantly dropped and she was continuously dreaming about food. More specifically, cheese and pickles on sticks, diced and ready in the fridge which she found some weird pleasure from.

She watches her stomach from a wodge of pillows laid behind her back, propping her up against the headboard. Eric is mulling around the room putting away some items of his uniform when she suddenly laughs.

"I think I saw an elbow!" She rubs her exposed stomach, tilting her head in thought, "Or it could've been a foot."

"Maybe it's the same elbow or foot kicking me in the back every night." Eric shuts the drawer, slumping onto the bed. Though Sarah looked like she shouldn't be able to move from the size of her, she was glowing, so he thought. That's what guys are meant to think, right?

"Wait until he's born, then the crying starts." She smiles down at Eric when he leans back, putting his hand splayed against her stomach. "Have you thought of any names yet? I like Quince."

Eric frowns at her, "No. That's despicably Abnegation...and vile."

"I think Eric is an Abnegation name too," she scoffs and shrugs, "Doesn't scream 'Leader of Dauntless' if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you," he says, sending her a glare, "And I'm not calling him that, so think again."

Sarah rolls her eyes. "Well, can we narrow it down? Have you thought of any, you didn't answer?"

"No, I haven't because I want to wait until I see the baby to know. You could choose a name and when they are born it doesn't fit right." The baby kicks against his hand and the side of his mouth lifts up by the distraction. "He agrees."

"Well I think it should start with a J because he's due in a J month," she says defiantly.

"Okay."

Sarah forgets to blink, Eric finally agreed on something without argument. "Really?"

"Yeah, kind of fitting. I like the idea." His gray eyes linger on her stomach. "Not long now," he tells it absent-mindedly. "You ready?" he asks without looking up at her and it has her pause for a moment.

Sarah shrugs and he still doesn't look up, idly caressing the baby bump. "I don't have a choice but to be ready," she says and then begins to smile, "I must have Dauntless in me somewhere because I'm not scared, at all."

"Literally, sweetheart." He laughs when she pushes him playfully.

"Okay, daddy."

He frowns and grimaces, "I would've considered that sexy under other circumstances."

"Shut up and go get me cheese and pickles." She orders him and tries to keep a straight face. She screams when Eric leans down and bites her hip gently, more so for the fact she was so big she could barely move even if she wanted to.

* * *

"Be right there! Hold on!" Sarah wipes her mouth with the back of her hand quickly, having huge effort to scoot the chair out from underneath her, and waddles towards the front door. Typing in the code, she opens it to Clair holding a wrapped box. Sarah's face drops fractionally.

"...Hello."

They hadn't spoken properly for months from their brief dispute back at her place. Clair smiles awkwardly. "I wanted to see how you were."

"Come in." Sarah motions her inside, watching as she absorbs the room.

"They did these places up really nice."

"They're possibly too big." Sarah folds her arms, making it back to the table with her breakfast on it.

"What have you been up to?" Clair asks rather stupidly.

"Growing a baby. Waiting for dust to settle. Idle work for Eric." She begins to list off then cringes with the awkwardness, rubbing the back of her neck.

Her animosity hasn't gone unnoticed and Clair slides the box cautiously along the table. "I got you something." She waits nervously when Sarah doesn't make a move to open it. "It's just something for when the baby comes along."

The wrapping paper is easily discarded and a small cardboard box is revealed. Upon opening, Sarah pulls out a dark navy box, and she clicks the golden slide button, causing the top to pop open. Chiming music begins to play, a small dancing ballerina in the middle with the soothing song and Sarah begins to well up.

"I know you don't do gifts, but this may come in handy. The songs always help with the kids."

"Thank you." Sarah sniffs, wiping her eyes. "I like it."

"I wanted you to know that you do have friends that are here for you. More than you think... If you ever need to talk."

"I have nothing to talk about."

"Well as a mother-"

"I have books. I've read them enough times. I think I'm now ready to deliver the baby myself if I had to." The Abnegation's gaze was powerful, striking Clair in that moment.

"And Eric?"

"Working…"

Clair nods a few times, the silence between them unbearable. "Can you _please_ just hear me out?"

"Me and Eric are on better terms now, Clair. Things are different." Sarah crosses her arms looking away.

"As a _friend_." The older woman almost begs. It's a long nervous moment before eventually Sarah nods reluctantly without saying anything. "I apologize from before when I was a little _hasty._ I said some things I probably shouldn't have said and I know that now." She watches as Sarah purses her lips, obviously holding back something she wanted to say. "I wanted you to know that this isn't the life you have to put up with. You may be on good terms now but in the future... I just wanted you to be assured that there are options. A life that will help you start again in Abnegation if you wanted to."

"What's in it for you?"

Clair manages to refrain from the surprise and looks to the ground. "I'm not being deceitful. So, I will tell you the truth."

Sarah scoffs, rolling her head up to the ceiling and leaning back in her chair. "Oh my god, you have no idea how many times I've had someone try and explain to me _the truth_."

"There is nothing really in it for me other than the fact I won't have to be terrified going into work every day. Not having to worry about Eric's actions or mood in that moment. Whether or not I get to watch another person ridiculed or punished. To not have blood on my hands..."

Sarah's eyes narrow. "You think Eric's not capable of running Dauntless?" Her tone is amused, the same glint in her eye Clair would sometimes see from Eric. Was she too late? Had things gone too far? Was Sarah really that brainwashed by him she couldn't see left from right?

"That man is capable of running anything he puts his mind to. But his mind is on five different things at once. For everyone's safety, this is why I think this is for the best…"

"And how exactly is all _this_ going to happen?" Sarah leans forward, more interested than before and a pang of mistrust runs up Clair's spine for the first time since she's known her. "What is _this_? What does that mean?"

"I trust you can keep everything to yourself?"

"I'm selfless," Sarah counters. "Gossip is hardly stemming from our faction…"

The small dig Clair allows. "I can't tell you any more than what you already know."

"So what are you really trying to say? Do you want Eric to be killed or arrested? Can they even arrest him?"

Clair shifts uneasily, rubbing her chin quickly in thought. "His following here in Dauntless, believe it or not, is too great. It would start an outright rebellion if the news of his arrest even got around. …Nobody can get close enough to kill him, that was never our aim anyway."

"Our?" Sarah tilts her head.

"I have to go back to work. You know where to find me should you ever change your mind." Clair looks down to Sarah's baby bump and back. They walk wordlessly to the door and Sarah types the code in. The last thing she hears as the leader's secretary walks away, is: "I pray you do."

Waddling back to the table, she mentally threads her mouth shut, but it doesn't stop all the information from hurting her brain. The call of motherhood beckons her as her eyes begin to droop. Sarah wouldn't be able to go to work again, the third time that week.

* * *

"So, it's not that we don't get on, but it's just awkward. I actually don't think he knows this is Eric's child," Sarah scoffs, bringing a forkful of cake up to her mouth. Her sister, Mary, coming to visit her that Sunday was a surprise. She wasn't expecting her, nor had seen her for a few weeks with her not working at Dauntless anymore.

"Who's this?" Mary asks dully from opposite her, her head cradled in her hand.

"Glen...the new guy…" Sarah sighs. "You're not really with me today, are you?"

"Erm…" Mary grimaces, then composes herself quickly, taking a long drag of air, a sign of something bad about to spill from her sister's lips. "Father hit Thomas...the other day. He got in the way."

" _What_? Why didn't you call me?"

"What can you possibly do? You're eight months pregnant." Mary pushes her food tray away. "Everybody knows about John drinking now. The school asked about it." She exhales, looking up at the ceiling."I'm scared, Sarah."

"Why?"

Mary leans forward, keeping her voice quiet. "What if they take Thomas away? Both of us. We are still minors."

"No, surely-"

"Nothing is certain. We'll be split up."

"No, you're talking rubbish."

Mary freezes, gazing over Sarah's shoulder then turning her head away quickly. Eric pulls Sarah's bun gently. Dread runs through her, she'd managed to successfully keep these two apart, but it was inevitable.

"Why is it whenever you're around shit happens?" he snorts, throwing one leg over the bench, facing Sarah. "Eat your cake, sweetheart, don't let Wednesday here ruin it for you."

"Eric. Stop. You don't understand."

"Oh, _right_ ," he throws his thumb out at Mary, "Meek mouse has another issue she needs you to resolve." Her sister's lips begin to tremble but he carries on anyway, "What's the matter now? Not enough attention? Need a slice of Dauntless in you?"

"Eric!" Sarah hisses, "That is quite enough." Mary stands up, gathering her jacket. "Mary, wait, don't go!"

But the unexpected happens. Mary stops looking down her nose at Eric, "I am not meek. I am polite. I have mannerisms that obviously you don't. My sister might be able to put up with your insults, but I won't."

"Ravishing," Eric grumbles and she storms off. Chuckling to himself, he turns to Sarah, who is getting up herself. "Oh, you too?"

"That was uncalled for," she says angrily.

"Oh lighten up-"

"The truth hurts, right?" Sarah interrupts him, "That wasn't the truth, that was just rude."

"At least we are finishing each other's sentences now…"

"Whatever." Sarah turns to walk away and Eric grabs her arm. "Let go."

"If she can't take a joke-" He stands up immediately when she grimaces. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" She avoids his eye when he scowls at her lies, "Okay, my back's hurting." He still frowns. "...And I keep getting this sharp pain when I move too quickly."

"Have you been to the doctor? _Fuck it, Sarah_. You should have told me. Why didn't you?"

"Because...because I didn't think you'd care, and... it's nothing anyway." She struggles to put on her jacket.

"Stop with the Abnegation bullshit." Even though his words are harsh, he helps her. "Is it bad? How long has this been going on?"

"It's just sharp, right in my groin, the doctor says it's nerves." Her cheeks begin to redden. "You don't really need to know."

"I want to know everything. What else are you not telling me?"

"Why are so suspicious all the time? That's it," she shrugs. "This is why I don't say anything, you make me feel like a criminal. _Jesus_."

"Sarah," he calls as she tries to walk away. "Forgetting something?" he asks, holding up her gray bag smugly. "What would you do without me?"

Eric guides her out by the small of her back and murmurs, "From now on, you tell me everything."

* * *

The vials sat inside the bathroom cabinet with the essence of a watery, slightly tinged, blue hue to them. She only emptied half to still be able to keep the unusual color, and arranged them exactly how she found them on the shelf after she was finished.

Her plan had ultimately worked. It was easier to work on Eric and get him to give in to some of the demands she made, subtly or unsubtly, it didn't really matter. But also with whatever of the serum he was getting, it was enough to sate him. It made her feel slightly more in control.

What she was doing was a good thing. _A good thing_ , she tells herself.

She empties the last one halfway when the front door suddenly slams. Her body feels like it's vibrating, her heart suddenly lurching in her chest. She scrabbles trying to find the cap when the thin bottle drops from her panicked fingers and into the basin. "Oh no," she gasps, absolutely horrified.

"Sarah!" He calls from the kitchen, the sound of keys cluttering on the counter. Eric was not supposed to be home for a few more hours.

"I'm in the bathroom!" she calls and tiptoes over to the door, quietly turning the latch while saying, "What are you doing home?" Trying to keep her voice even and feeling all the color draining from her face till the skin began to prickle at the thought of being caught.

"Had some time on my hands…" His voice begins to get louder till he's outside the door. "I might tell Clair to divert my calls and take the rest of the afternoon off."

"Oh…" She peers around the room wildly, trying to find somewhere to hide the vial.

"What're you doing in there?" The door handle suddenly jerks down. "Why is the door locked?"

"I'm on the toilet, Eric," she lies, feigning exasperation. She settles for hiding it behind the toilet on the floor and mentally telling herself to get rid of it later.

"You never lock the door. _Sarah_ , open the door," he talks degradingly as if sweet-talking to a child.

The Abnegation thinks quickly, rubbing her eyes harshly and willing herself to seem teary eyed. She flicks the lock and the door swings open in an instant. His stare is intense for only a moment, then softens.

"You're crying?" Eric sighs.

"I was having a nap and I had a bad dream." Eric motions her forwards and she wraps her arms around his waist, pushing her head into his jacket. They stand like this for a while. But she doesn't know what she's more happy about, Eric initiating a cuddle or the fact she successfully lied to him.

She smiles when she hears him say, "I'm rubbing off on you."

* * *

"This is the report from Amity." Sarah flips a red folder over to Clair from the pile pushed against her chest. "This…" She files through until she finds the right one. "Is minor issues and patrol reports...for Glen. This blue one…"

"How long you got left?" Clair tries a light form of conversation.

"A couple weeks. Really any day now." Their awkward friendship was still belligerent in some aspects. Sarah made an innocent effort to steer clear, Clair's poisonous words from before still bothered her.

The blue folder slips from her hand, opening and scattering papers. "Oh, damn it," she exclaims and kneels down to gather them.

"I'll do it." Clair stands up quickly, rounding the desk to pull Sarah up but the young Abnegation is staring at a paper in her hand. "Sarah, please…"

"What is this? You know about this?" Clair keeps herself composed under her accusations. Spitefully, Sarah grabs the other folders. The Amity report is a statement of available land to build upon and other plans she didn't understand. "They're moving Abnegation? You knew this didn't you..."

"It's nothing to do with me. I didn't want to mention it as I didn't want to upset you any further. I thought Eric would've told you."

"Whose orders are they? Who has been arranging this?"

Clair drops her eyes. "I think you know." Sarah grabs the papers messily in her hand, storming towards Eric's office. "Sarah!" Clair calls in an attempt to stop her.

The door to Eric's office is thrown open and Eric casually peers up to her flushed face as she strides over to his desk, slamming the crumpled papers down. "You are _still_ lying to me!"

His gray eyes scan what's in front of him to figure out how much she actually knows before speaking, "I haven't lied to you. You just didn't need to know."

"Amity is two hours away, and if you have forgotten, my _entire_ family is Abnegation."

"The country air will do them some good." Sarah gapes at his open insult in disbelief. "Look, sweetheart, it's logical the Abnegation site is removed from the center, the space is required for the expansion of the other factions."

Sarah points to a sentence on the papers, "You are putting Abnegation in the fields to work alongside Amity. For labor. You asshole!"

Eric kisses his teeth. "It's temporary. We are recuperating from the chaos we had last year. And Abnegation was a target because they reside in the center of the three biggest factions."

"Because we selflessly offer to help _you_! And we have resided there for years, Eric, years!"

"Well it's about time things change then, isn't it." Eric shrugs, watching Sarah pace from side to side, pushing back the hair from her face with a hand on her hip.

"I can't believe you are doing this. _You_! I was beginning to trust you, to think you could really be happy with the way things are. But it's not enough, it never is."

"I'm about growth and efficiency, Sarah. Logical movements to create success. For the future-"

Sarah points a finger at him. "Do _not_ even begin to speak to me about the future! **Ah**!" She leans forward against the edge of the desk from a sudden tweak in her stomach and Eric stands hurriedly. "Don't you dare… don't come near me," she pants, holding up a hand to hold him back. He doesn't listen and reaches out for her. "Eric, stay away!" she almost screeches, holding her stomach, walking backward towards the door. "I was beginning to trust you! You're two faced. There are two sides to you Eric. I never know which one I'm going to get. How can I _ever_ trust you?"

"Oh, fucking deal with it, Sarah! Stop judging me. I have a faction to run. I don't have time to run about after unimportant issues and a hormonal little stiff!" Her eyes almost glow staring at him. The realization of his words sink in, so he begins, "I didn't mean-"

"At least I know what you think of me. And I think you know _exactly_ what I think of you."

She leaves to the sound of something smashing behind her in the office causing her to slightly flinch and the pain in her stomach sharp and radiating down into her thighs. Violently shaking and feeling sick as she walks up to Clair's desk, she grabs a sticky note and writes 'Yes'.

* * *

There she sat, sweetly hugging her knees in the bath, her back to the door and hair flowing across her bare back. Picturesque, he may have called it at any other moment bar this one.

It was all well and good. Eric was becoming used to her prickled anger spells of blatant ignorance. However, he had a bone to pick. And he was sure this one would taste good.

Creeping quietly up behind her with the taps running, he hears her humming faintly, sloshing the water with a hand every now and then. The lengths of her hair had absorbed some of the water, darkening the tips of her gold locks. For a split second, he almost could imagine her not pregnant anymore from this view.

When her hand reaches for the taps and stops the water, Eric pounces in the silence. She almost screams but his hand on her mouth prevents the agitating noise and her wide eyes slightly relax when he allows her to see his face.

"You've been a bad girl, Sarah, haven't you…"

Sarah tries to remain oblivious, and rather than looking away in guilt or shame, she keeps his eyes that seem to bore holes through her. Eric is angry. He looks very angry.

Keeping his palm pressed against her mouth, he continues, "You didn't think I'd eventually find out?" She blinks slowly, still not daring to look away. "Maybe I'm not the only one _lying_ …" Eric looks to her chest quickening.

Sarah has no idea what subject he is referring to, and rather than saying the wrong thing, she decides to not say anything at all.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" he suddenly asks and she frowns. "Well?" he asks again, his eyebrows slightly rising in impatience. She nods slowly. "Good, let's get you lying back…"

Fear bristles on her skin. She holds the edge of the bath and readjusts so she can dip her head into the water. Eric begins pushing his fingers through her hair, dampening the fine baby hairs of her forehead with seemingly no bother as to how much time he was taking.

"You know…" He doesn't look at her, appearing to be more focused on playing with her hair in the water. "After our spat, I came back here to find you. Though, you weren't here. Where were you?"

Sarah doesn't like the calm, placid tone to his voice and clears her throat before answering, "I went to get some air." The shake in her voice is too obvious for someone like Eric not to catch and she mentally kicks herself for it.

"Oh...you went to get some air…" His tongue slips over his teeth between his closed lips in thought. "Do you feel better?" His voice is warped by the water in her ears as he pushes her head back further and she throws a leg out, splashing over the sides of the bath in panic.

"Hey...I thought you were beginning to trust me?"

She looks towards the taps and around the room before shakily replying, "I do trust you."

"Liar," Eric smirks. "Not more than a few hours ago you told me you didn't. It's funny what people will say when backed into a corner."

"I want to get out the bath now." Sarah tries to sit up but his hands ball into her hair, keeping her in place. "Eric...Let me go."

It's something very subtle she sees in his eyes that probably no one else would ever notice. Confliction. His want to do something and the self-restraint of holding himself back.

"I know you've been fucking around with my stuff." His voice is suddenly gravelly, deep and low. "I found this…" He holds up an empty vial. "On the floor."

"Maybe you dropped it?" Sarah is relieved it's that and not anything to do with Clair.

He leans forward, his voice smooth as he strokes her face, "You take me for a fucking idiot." She feels the water line raise towards her cheeks, threatening to just trickle towards her nose and the corner of her eyes. "...Because I went to add some more to my little stash I've got, and what do I find? My old vials are paler… Only slightly. Just enough so I wouldn't notice."

"I thought I was helping you."

"Helping _me_?" he questions, his thumb running across her bottom lip.

She catches his wrist, "You are the father of my child. I would do anything for you." And she does the only thing she can think of for her own self-preservation, she kisses the tip of his thumb, trying to sate him. "Anything… And I swear..." she whispers as a tear slips from her eye which she doesn't even have to force, "...I thought what I was doing was for the best, I swear!" She whimpers, "Please, just don't hurt me."

"Sweetheart, I would never hurt you." His other hand massaging the back of her head grips the nape of her neck, turning her to face him. His eyes swim between hers. "But don't let me ever catch you again, got it?"

A strangled noise breaks from her throat and she cries, loudly, the water shuddering and slopping around her till she's pulled up into Eric's arms and lifted gently from the bath. Eric finding the vials was not the only thing she was upset over, it was her final decision. She's made her mind up.

"Eric…" she tries to say through sobs.

"You're fine. I've got you," he tries to reassure her but she had never felt less sure about him.

* * *

Eric pushes the hair away from the side of her face while she sleeps. In the surroundings of their apartment, Candor seemed a million miles away, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up back beside her. He hesitates for a moment when he realizes her forehead is clammy and he peels back the covers.

"Sarah?" She only hums in response, nustling closer to the pillow and seemingly going back to sleep. He places his hand on her stomach, feeling the baby move ever so slightly, making him more reluctant about leaving. "I love you," he whispers barely, "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry, for everything. It's just who I am... " He purses his lips in thought, twirling a curl of her hair with his finger absentmindedly. The words seemed foreign and strange, even still. "I'll be back soon…" Looking back down to her stomach, he knows that it could be any day now and a smile plays on one side of his face. "Stay in there while I'm away, boy."

This platonic moment wasn't out of his persona. He'd done this every night for months, Sarah just never knew…

* * *

Sarah received a call from Clair after Eric had left to meet her at the leader's suite. She did so, at the time she had asked her to be there.

"Are you ready?" Clair asks and Sarah is still confused over who this particular person was that was going to be powerful and clever enough to help her. The person had to have balls of steel to plot behind Eric's back, but influential enough that their following was rather strong with the likes of Clair and obviously others that had kept themselves hidden away.

"I'm ready," she all but squeaks as her mouth runs dry. Sarah looks back to the elevator then to Clair who smiles tightly and holding her arm out for her to follow.

Clair stops outside Eric's office and Sarah panics, "How could you!"

"What?" Clair shrugs.

"You were playing me! Is this some sick trick?"

"Sarah!" Clair waves her down when she realizes. "Eric is not here. He's at Candor and won't be back for a while. If he does decide to come back early, I will be the first notified." Sarah breathes out a large exhale while holding her stomach. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Let's just...get this over with."

"I'll be waiting right outside this door. But just so you know…" Clair begins whispering, "In the interest of your safety, keep _everything_ to yourself, even if you decide you don't want to go through with it... Otherwise, she will make sure you do."

"She?" Sarah questions, opening the door to see exactly who was causing a stir in her life.

There, sat behind Eric's desk, in Eric's chair with her fingers intertwined and one eyebrow raised intellectually, sat a woman she'd only ever seen on video recordings with _the_ voice that could deter blizzards.

"Jeanine…"

* * *

0.0

Hope you enjoyed this chap! I'm sad to say there is only ONE more Chap left :(((((

Huge thanks to everyone who listened to me rambling and helped me sort my life out, literally couldn't be done without you!

Let me know what you think, or if you don't want to publically say, PM me on here or Tumblr! I had a AWESOME new pic made for BBC if you wanna check that out somewhere on my blog too :) *squeals* people are awesome!


	22. The Final Chapter

So, here we have the last installment!

A **BIG** massive thanks to everyone who has helped, followed, favorited, commented, and spent minutes of their precious life on this story.

Gah, I'm so emotional right now. I hope you enjoy my blood, sweat and tears!

Thank you all so much. I will miss Eric and Sarah dearly. Thank you thank you thank you!

* * *

"Hello, Sarah."

For a minute the young Abnegation stands stuck in the doorway, hand still firmly gripping the handle. There is a persuasive voice in her brain telling her that her chance to run is now.

But what to run back to? Her cage? To how things are always going to be? An endless cycle?

Clair touches her shoulder causing her to scare but she steps into the room nonetheless. When the door is shut, Jeanine's eyes still stay firmly planted on her. The expression gracing Jeanine's face tells her that she already knows how fearful she is of this situation, that she truly doesn't trust an inch of the Erudite woman.

If Sarah was smarter she would have tried harder to appear unbothered or nonchalant until she got back behind closed doors. But right now, every ounce of confidence dwindles.

"Please… do take a seat." Jeanine motions to the one Sarah usually occupied while at work. "I don't bite."

Wordlessly, and reluctant, Sarah waddles further into the room, catching the icy look Jeanine sends her overly large stomach in the process. "I've heard so much about you. Finally, we get our chance to meet." Once sitting in the chair, she lives up to her name. Stiff. "I see you weren't expecting to see me."

"I'm unsure of what is really going on. My knowledge has been limited."

Jeanine's eyes brighten slightly and she unclasps her hands, tilting backwards till her spine sat impeccably straight. Sarah's sight falls upon her flatly ironed shirt under her blue blazer. The navy color completely washed the woman out, but at the same time suited the coldness she felt in her presence. Jeanine's voice snaps her from her scouring, "I like you. Straight to business. Honest. I see the attractive traits everyone else seems to be so opinionated over."

Sarah tears fall uncontrollably while still frowning at the woman, all from a bunch of different emotions: Confusion. Uncertainty. Fear. She questioned exactly why she was here; why she would bother putting herself through this. But deep down she knew why.

"I'm not here for business. I'm here for my baby...and me," she quickly says while lowering her eyes slightly. "Can we just…" she hesitates, pulling on her sleeve to wipe away a stray tear, "...can we get this over with?"

"I can see how greatly this situation distresses you. So, certainly, we can skip the minor details." Leaning down to one side, she eloquently picks something from the floor and pushes it across the desk towards Sarah. "This is yours."

"What is-" She stops herself from asking, sheepishly picking up the A4 envelope. It feels light, only a few sheets of paper inside with something rigid at the bottom. They stay quiet till she pulls out the few sheets, one with a card attached.

"That is your points card," Jeanine explains evenly after a moment. "I had the balance checked and it was suspicious you have never used it. It's mandatory for every fully fledged faction member to receive one once they've passed initiation."

Sarah gapes at the card, clutching the envelope to her chest. "This is mine?"

"Yes, Sarah, it is yours and has been for a few months now." Jeanine bides her time, watching the way her words crumbled any esteem the Abnegation had conjured for their meeting.

"Why have I never seen this?" Sarah utters, trying to keep herself together and absorb, yet again, another undisclosed piece of information.

"Sarah," Jeanine says her name pointedly, the authoritative tone bouncing off the four walls and trying to direct the way the emotional wreck in front of her was already headed. "I'm sure you are well aware of Eric's other heinous crimes. Of Eric's abhorrent methods of managing the factions and disposing of anything that gets in his way."

Crippled by her love for the man and the unconditional love for her child, Sarah clamps her eyes closed, leaning forward into her hands, openly weeping and uncaring for Jeanine's presence. Through her tears, she mutters, "He's moving my family away. I'm full term with his child and I had the image of him holding me under the water last night!"

"And I cannot emphasize enough how it distresses me to know a young mother like you has to go through such torment by a man who clearly has no respect for anybody or anything at all. But do you really think that it's possible for him to change?"

Sarah's hand grips at her chest, the other beginning to cradle her stomach. The hesitation was there and Jeanine knows exactly how to push her buttons. Her voice full of concern, she says, "...I don't think so either. That's why - and believe me when I say I wish there was another way - but you should be able to safely confide in me, to bring you and your child a better life. It will determine everybody's safety in the end."

Again, Jeanine reaches down to what Sarah assumed was now a bag or folder, and she pulls out more paper, shuffling them neatly. "Clair disclosed to me that you want to prevent all of this from further tainting your unborn child's life. If that was perhaps not enough, for some reason, to help aid your decision, you can read here the damage Eric Coulter has done to your existing family already."

"I-I," Sarah sniffs, pushing back loose hair and tilting her head to get a view of the papers in Jeanine's hand.

"It's a matter of concern within Abnegation that your younger siblings may be victims of domestic violence. Your parents have been deemed inappropriate for legal guardians and a report is being initiated to have them removed from their care." Jeanine holds a hand up when Sarah's mouth opens to retort and smiles tightly, "I can take care of this."

"What do you want from me?" Sarah says, her voice weak. It was all it ever came down to, people wanting more.

"It's very simple. And it works in everybody's favor. I want you to sign a statement to a proclamation."

"A proclamation?"

"You are the only person that has ever been this close to Eric. Your decree would be final."

Sarah begins to shake her head. "No, I don't want to hurt him. I don't know anything anyway and I _won't_ betray him like that. I can't-"

"So you know nothing about his involvement with the mysterious death of Max?" Sarah looks to the side, unable to say anything and Jeanine's smile widens. "I assure you nothing is going to happen to Eric. I promise you. In fact, he won't even _know_ ," she emphasizes, raising an eyebrow when Sarah slowly looks her in the eye, her face forming into a frown.

"You see, Eric has been _so_ helpful in our hunt for Divergents. His clearing of the factionless was truly something spectacular that I really don't believe anyone else would have been capable of. That's _why_ I don't want Eric to be unjustly removed or disposed from his position. And honestly," she takes a moment to smile at the younger woman, "I don't think you would even agree with that form of consequence anyway."

"What are you saying? I-I don't understand."

"You want a new life. You want Eric to be unharmed. Then you make sure you agree today." Jeanine keeps her sight firm, unwavering as she pulls out a form and places it in front of Sarah. "I simply want you to sign these papers, then inject him with this." Jeanine must've picked up the small pen-like device without her seeing earlier. She rolls it across the desk and Sarah stops it with the palm of her hand, staring down at it. "It will put Eric under simulation."

Sarah jostles the device between her fingers. A vial of liquid sat near the end, a bubble slowly gliding throughout when she tilted it to the side.

"Be careful with that," Jeanine tries lightheartedly, only earning her a glare.

Sarah shakes her head and places the pen down. "No. I won't allow you to make him into some… mindless drone."

"The simulation only covers memories relating to a subject of concern. For instance, anything to do with you. All other motor function is completely natural."

"How is that even possible?" Sarah frowns at the vague explanation.

Jeanine ignores her, pressing further. "Those memories are melded, created into artificial sequences for him to recall instead. It won't allow him to seek further into his memory, nor recognize specific details. It's tested and evaluated on the most reputable Divergents that have been presented within Erudite."

"What if it doesn't work and he remembers? He would kill me. He could take my baby away!" Sarah speaks frantically. "...Is that why you want me to sign the papers?"

"It will work," Jeanine says with finality, pursing her lips. "I have been working on this project myself. The proclamation is bargaining. Nothing more, nothing less. I told you all other motor function is his own and that is the only reasoning behind it."

Sarah fiddles with the sleeves of her cardigan, still not fully convinced by Jeanine's plan. "But there are people who know I'm carrying Eric's child. They know who I am."

"Like who? Wayne?" Jeanine scoffs, "Wayne who wants an opportunity to be classed as highly as Eric? ...Granted." She carelessly waves a hand. "Clair? She is a friend, merely helping you. Your parents and associates certainly wouldn't be any worry under threat of public humiliation or concern for your safety. Any stragglers will be monitored."

Sarah mutters, looking down at the simulation device, "He... won't remember me?" The reality finally sinking in at the aspect of what she was contemplating on doing.

"No. There is no loss for him. He won't feel or remember anything." Jeanine sighs tightly, catching Sarah dead in the eyes. "The question is, are you selfless enough to do this?"

Sarah breaks the intense stare and looks around the room wildly. "I can't - I can't make this decision." She begins standing, adjusting her gray cardigan and wiping at her face. "It's not right. This is games. Games I don't want any involvement in."

"It's too late for that. So, that is your answer? No?" Jeanine stands as Sarah makes a break for the door. She rounds the desk quickly, her heels clattering with each step and she's easily able to get in front of the heavily pregnant girl. "Think very carefully before you walk out of this door. There are two, now three…" Jeanine emphasizes as she looks down at Sarah's stomach, "young lives who are going to have a massive impact from your simple fear of change."

"You would stop my brother and sister from being separated?"

"I'll do one better…" Jeanine gently pulls at Sarah's wrist, turning her hand over and placing the simulation device in her hand. "...I will mark you down as their official legal guardian _if_ you do this."

Sarah's face crumples up in agitation. "Why bother? Why bother with me? Why not have me put into simulation like Eric?"

"Because, I see in your eyes the one thing that nobody has ever given you before, a choice… A chance to make things right. For multiple lives." Then, strangely, Jeanine touches Sarah's stomach. In shock, Sarah lets her have the small moment, watching her face cautiously and the way her skin had almost aged translucently, perhaps an effect from the beaming bright, white lights she imagined Erudite to have. Grinning tightly, Jeanine whips her hand back and motions her towards the desk. "Make the _right_ choice. For the sake of others."

Tears fall as Sarah approaches slowly, reaching for the pen as Jeanine points to a small dotted line. "How-how do I know you will keep your word?"

"It's the same as me asking: how would I know if you were to tell Eric the moment you left…" She lets the words linger for a moment until she continues, "I guess we both don't know, but we have managed to get thus far. I have every confidence in you."

"Please…" she begs in a quiet voice, "just don't hurt him…" And then she signs her name, Sarah Bennett.

* * *

Eric is still not home when Sarah begins readying herself for bed. Robotically she brushes her teeth, staring at herself in the mirror, her chubbier than normal face and widened hips beneath her delicate nightdress. It becomes so overbearing that the silence begins to form into an almost buzzing white-noise as she stares at a person she doesn't recognize in the reflection.

Her paused hand holding the toothbrush against her teeth begins to shake till she allows it to drop carelessly into the sink, bringing her palm to cover her mouth.

She screams.

Panting out the last part of her frustration, it becomes strangled by an unexpected tightening in her abdomen, cramping far down into her thighs. It hurts so much that she has to bend her knees and curl into herself. " _Oh no_."

When the pain subsides, she straightens herself, knocking the toothbrush holder off the side along with a bottle of deodorant Eric had left as she skims across the tiled counter the basin is sunk into. Down the hall she wobbles into the living space, heading for her bag in the entranceway by the door. She scours the bag with adrenaline, causing her to almost become frantic. But oddly, she thinks back to the last time she bustled through her bag, finding the simulation device and hiding it under the mattress on her side of the bed.

It's only a momentary pause in memory but it aids her in finding the phone, the gadget obviously staring at her in the face. Dialing Eric's number, it rings endlessly.

"Please…" She tries to calm herself, but it was mainly the thought of being alone which scared her the most. "Baby, please not now."

She decides on thinking practically, counting the minutes between the next. Slowly, time ticked by, and with anticipation, she waited. Hitting fifteen minutes, she began to feel it again, evolving this time from her back, circulating to her front where her stomach tightened and she grips the counter.

A few seconds in that seemed like an eternity, she hears his voice, obviously too caught up in the pain to notice him enter the apartment.

"Sweetheart…" His large hand slides up her back, soothing till the contraction finally passes. At the time she couldn't register him, falling into her own pitiful concentrated pain. "I'll call the doctor."

No more than twenty minutes later, the doctor confirms she is in labor. Its progression is to be monitored, and if the contractions were to get any worse or closer together they had to call or head to the infirmary. The best they could do for the time being was to wait in the comfort of their home. Much to Eric's reluctance.

It just makes everything worse. Exhausted, Sarah's lips quiver as Eric enters the room with a glass of water for her. He's cautious as he sits on the bed, dipping the mattress next to her and leans forward, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"You should rest," she manages to say huskily, her throat sore from the exertions of the day.

"How can I sleep when you're like that?" He scoffs to himself. "I don't check my phone for five minutes…" he trails off, standing and pulling off his jacket. The rest of his clothes he strips off easily, throwing them over a chair together in case he needs to redress quickly and sits down next to her, his back facing her again.

"Where were you?"

He turns his head and his eyes lower to her propped form in bed. "I had to go to Amity."

"You said-"

"I know. I've been to Candor. I had arrangements to make at Amity also."

Sarah nods disdainfully, "You're _still_ going ahead with this?"

"It's not something you should be thinking about right now. There are more important things at stake."

And didn't she know it. On his words her stomach begins to tighten again, cramping painfully low. "That's...longer than fifteen minutes. They're irregular."

"Stop talking and breathe." Eric pushes back her hair, watching as Sarah exhales through her mouth. "You're fine. You're safe," he comforts her groaning and fidgeting form until she eventually rests back, exhausted. "Get some sleep. It may be the only chance you'll get."

* * *

Sarah doesn't wake with purpose, or pain from her contractions, or anything else that disturbs her. She wakes from the impending knowledge of her next actions, what she briefly planned to do earlier playing restlessly on her mind.

Eric lies on his back breathing deeply, his right hand balled into a fist, gripping the bed sheets to his stomach. She gathers his sleep will be fitful considering what was beginning to happen and the long day he'd already had. But whether she liked it or not, her requested duty was now timed. She knew that if the baby was to be born now, she would've ultimately made her decision to stay. It would mean watching Eric move Abnegation and her family away. Possibly seeing the beginning of a multiple faction breakdown, or worse: anarchy.

Her brother and sister would be fostered to another family and she would be restricted to motherly duties surrounded by concrete, waiting for Eric to maybe change his ways that he was so adamant that he wouldn't. Something he had managed to keep proving to her time and time again.

She just didn't want to put up with the uncertainty anymore. And she had now learned that shouldn't and didn't have to.

Sarah didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath of her selfish actions so she could be with Eric in their unusual relationship while everyone else around her suffered. She had been brought up within a faction that prided themselves in selflessness. She was a full member of that faction. It was about time she started to act like it.

This should be easy. She should be able to cut-off from her own wants and needs. She should be able to become the true inspiration behind her faction. Charitable, liberal, magnanimous, self-sacrificing and self-denying.

Then _why_ was everything so goddamn hard?

It wasn't entirely correct with the saying 'faction before blood'. She couldn't agree with it anymore. They had their chance to choose their faction, they couldn't choose their family. So for some it was easier than others to have more loyalty to factions, making the quote easier to abide by.

Sarah now sees it as 'faction before love.' From what she had experienced, everyone, including her parents, disregarded their love for each other to suit their factions. Eric had blindsided himself away from emotional attachments, preferring a cold demeanor and a hardened personality that was formidable and erratic. Nobody was honest or open. They all schemed and planned behind each other's backs.

And it makes her think, that perhaps Amity may have got it right. Perhaps that's why they are pushed so far away from the other factions to live on the outskirts. They seemed to appease the things that everyone else was so commonly, but discretionarily scared of: Love. Peace. Harmony.

It is clear to her now, that is all she ever wanted. And not from the moment she stepped into Eric's office had she ever had it.

Sarah rolls onto her back away from her previous position of facing Eric. Her hand drifts down past the side of the bed, pushing between the mattress till her fingertips touch the device hidden away beneath it.

She stares up at the ceiling, clasping the device tightly as her breathing begins to quicken. She waits for any acknowledgment that Eric was aware of her movements, and when he doesn't move, she shifts closer to him, the sheets crunching and sounding terribly louder than what they should.

With her fingertips she caresses the maze of tattoos on his arm, memorizing them, gliding her hands up through the small dusting of hair on his chest, feeling every indentation, every strength of the man lying next to her till she reaches his neck.

The first tear falls from her eyes and she leans down, kissing his bare shoulder, "I keep holding on to the hope that one-day things may be different, but they never are," she whispers, the words not loud enough even for herself to hear. "One thing that will never change, is that I love you, and I always will."

"I love you, too," Eric mumbles, opening his eyes, only hooded for a second till they widen at the sharp sting throbbing in his neck. He sits up immediately and Sarah whimpers, backing away from him. Cupping his hand to his neck, he pulls it back to look at his palm, then at the device empty in her hand. "What have you done?"

"I'm- I'm sorry…" she squeaks. He grabs her wrist dragging her to him and she yelps, "I'm sorry!"

"What is this?" He yanks the stim from her hand, staring down at it then flicking his eyes to meet hers that drip tear after tear, the guilt written completely on her face. His world begins to tilt, the rushing lightness of his head raiding his mind and warping his sight. Shaking his head, he just about notices Sarah reaching for his shoulders as he pulls his unsteady and heavy legs from the bed.

"Eric, stop! I did this for the best, you have to believe me!" she exclaims, scrabbling to keep up with him as he tries to stand.

"Get the fuck away from me!" he growls but she pulls on his elbow, pulling him to sit down again. Anger swirls and he throws his arm back, hearing her cry out but she doesn't let go. He takes a few unsteady steps and Sarah is dragged from the bed along with him, landing in a pile of sheets with a thump. It's only then, as he falls to one knee, he has enough sense to turn back.

The shakes begin violently, the perspiration begins to clam up his body. But the disregard for his well-being leaves him when he spots Sarah sitting on the floor with a hand between her legs, her nightdress saturated around her and a fresh split in her lip. "Sarah, call-" Breathing is hard and he has the weirdest sensation of suffocation. She manages to shuffle to him as he collapses, her bright blue eyes glinting down upon him and she holds his hand. Sarah is saying something, but he can't hear her anymore, slowly slipping into a bleak darkness.

"I'm sorry," she repeats endlessly till his breathing is even and his features relax. Eric looks like he is peacefully sleeping.

A contraction begins, stronger this time and she hisses through her teeth, gripping his arm painfully tight. But it only causes her to take action.

The baby is coming, and he has no consideration for anything that is happening around him.

She crawls out to the hallway, managing to get to her feet and find her phone back on the counter where she left it. Jeanine's phone number was the last thing they had discussed as she left Eric's office earlier. She was told that everything would be taken care of the moment she called her. That there would be people at hand to help.

Jeanine answers almost immediately.

"It's done." Sarah pants. "But the baby's coming!"

"There will be someone with you shortly," she says, her voice cool and devoid of any emotion. "Be ready."

Being ready was impossible. The contractions came quicker and stronger each time that Sarah barely had enough time to take another step. She crumples to the floor. Any advice she'd read or researched was useless. She was losing herself.

The door beeps and she doesn't bother looking up. It opens letting in a draft of cold air and someone cautiously steps inside. "It's okay," they say, and she recognizes the voice instantly. "I'm here to help you." Four touches her shoulder. "Is there anything you want to take with you?"

"My jacket." Sarah wipes at her eyes. "My bag." Her eyes travel back to Eric's unconscious form obscured by the bedroom door. But her view is blocked by Four who has her jacket and bag in one hand, offering his other to help her up.

* * *

Four takes her down a passage that ran underneath Dauntless. The same passage she had been to with Eric when they had a blackout all those months ago.

The walk was tiresome. They had to stop every few minutes until Sarah was able to walk again. Four said they were running out of time and decided to carry her for the remainder while he constantly excused himself from being so impersonal.

He explained that due to the suspicion, everything had to be done low-key and away from the public. That walking out the front doors without being resolutely questioned would've been impossible.

By tomorrow, Eric would be awake and back at work without any idea that anything happened. All remnants of her presence were being disposed of. She didn't exist to him anymore.

As her eyes close with the sway of his body, it feels like seconds till Four leans forward, opening a heavy iron door. She startles from the movement to find Mary hooded in a long jacket waiting patiently in the doorway.

"Mary?" Sarah says in surprise as Four puts her back down to the floor. They hug briefly till the pain begins fast and strong. "We have to hurry. Four-"

But he shakes his head. And she breathes out the remnants of the latest contraction. "I have to stay here." He turns to Mary. "Go to Erudite, not Abnegation. It's safer to have the baby there till everything settles down."

Sarah crushes Mary's hand. "I don't think...you have noticed...but I'm not going to make it."

"You can. Erudite is not far."

Sarah begins whimpering. "I can't do this. I can't-"

"You can! And you will." Four passes Sarah's bag to Mary. "You will because your family is relying on you." He checks over his shoulder and then steps outside, scanning the area. "Go. I've disabled the cameras and the lock on that gate," he points to one in the distance. "I need to rearm it. If anybody notices there will be a security launch, and guess who they will be asking for…"

"Come on," Mary pulls on Sarah's arm. "We'll go slow."

"Thank you, Four," Sarah says, her voice heavy with emotion, "Please, watch over him."

"I'll do what I can," he smiles tightly in return and then the heavy metal door slams closed behind them. And in her crouched and stumbling walk with Mary clinging onto her, she takes one last look back at Dauntless.

* * *

For a long time, it's just their breathing echoing into the abandoned streets. There is barely any light, just the moon guiding them. Sarah's grip is firm on Mary's arm, every step agony and she tries to concentrate more on Mary's jacket flapping behind her than the distance they have yet to walk.

A warm gush and the contractions suddenly change into an overwhelming urge, so strong that it causes Sarah's legs to almost give way. "Mary, stop!" Her voice turns strangled and this time she yells out into the darkness, "Stop! Something's different!" She gathers up her nightdress, placing a hand between her legs and whimpers by what she finds. "We have to stop," her voice breathless. Another squeeze rippling from the top of her stomach down has her scream.

"The baby!" she pants, "he's coming now."

"What?" Mary's eyes are wide. "Right now?"

" **God damn it, Mary**! Right now! He's coming now," Sarah whimpers, clinging onto Mary's arm.

"Don't shout at me!" Mary whines and wildly looking around, she pales instantly. "You can't have it here! There is no doctor!"

Sarah grips the front of Mary's jacket, pulling her forward. "I'm having this baby **now**! Doctor or no doctor!"

Around them are abandoned buildings crippled by weather and time. She spots one not as crumbled as the rest and points. "In there!"

They step over brick and debris of a worn pathway, Mary pulling her along as she groans. Unexpectedly she yells out, falling into uncontrollable pain, suddenly unable to stop the urge to push anymore.

"My jacket…" Sarah tries to practice the breathing techniques she had read about. Mary helps her remove it, placing it on the dusty floor and Sarah lies down upon it. "Now, I want you to look-"

"Sarah, no. I'm not- I can't- What if-" Mary's face scrunches up and she holds up her hands.

"Get down there and get ready to bring your nephew into the world, Mary, or _so help me god_!"

"Oh...oh…" Mary grimaces, kneeling down and meekly pinching the material of Sarah's dress between her fingers. She begins ducking her head when a stone tumbles over from the darkness and they both freeze.

The moonlight gracing them with a small beam through the windowless building is barely any help to see in the twilight. Mary stands up, trying to let her eyes adjust and Sarah lets her head roll back, breathing loudly, literally uncaring for anything happening around her anymore.

"Who's there?" she calls and sees a small figure cling to what used to be a doorway. A few steps and she is looking down into the eyes of a young boy. Just as Mary manages to smile in an effort to prove they didn't mean any harm, a woman yanks the small boy back.

"Ma," he whines, "It's just two Abnegation girls. I think one of them is sick."

"Please…" Mary follows them around the corner as they try to vanish into the darkness. "We don't want any trouble. She's pregnant. She's having a baby."

But the woman is pulling the young boy through a hole connecting to the other houses, ignoring her.

"Ma!" the boy tries again, looking back at Mary.

She hears Sarah behind her, calling her name to make her come back.

"Please! You need to help us!" Mary begs, quickening her pace, sometimes tripping on the idle rubbish littered around them.

" _We_ don't need to do 'nuffin!" The lady suddenly turns, getting into her face. "You've already seen us, that's the damage already done!"

"We won't tell anyone. I swear," Mary cries desperately, begging the older woman to change her mind.

"Ma, we can't leave them here!" The young boy tugs on his mother's sleeve.

"JJ, I love ya, boy, but we're not supposed to exist. Now these ladies have seen us." She shakes her head erratically. "We don't want trouble. _That's_ trouble."

" **Mary**!" Sarah screams from the other room and the woman's face becomes conflicted, her eyes trailing slightly over her shoulder and Mary places her hands together in prayer.

"Oh, lord! Dagnabit!" She lets the boy go and he runs past, back into the moonlit room with Sarah.

"It's okay. We're gonna help," he tells her sweating and panting form, a wary puzzled expression gracing her face.

The woman doesn't bother with courtesy and kneels between her legs, lifting up her nightdress. "We're just gonna check if we can see the baby's…" She pauses as she looks down. "...okay, that is the baby's head, for sure."

"Hold my hand, Miss," says the young boy. "I'm Jack, but me Ma calls me JJ."

Sarah just nods, too frightened to object at his small hand grabbing hers.

"Next contraction, you're gonna give it all you got. Stop resisting it."

Mary paces in the background, biting her nails. An idea suddenly hitting her, she stops and takes off her own jacket. "Here, take this, wrap him in this."

The next sweeping wave, Sarah pushes down, ultimately crushing the boy's hand in the process.

"Okay, good, next one same again," the lady says calmly. Her face is set in concentration and Sarah cries, doing what she's told. "That's it! I see his face, hold on, let me turn him. Hold on!"

"Oh my god!" Mary exclaims, gazing down. All dignity leaves Sarah in an instant. She has a moment's lapse from the contractions and she gazes drunkenly at the boy next to her.

"Final push!"

Sarah doesn't really hear her, gritting her teeth and tucking her chin to her chest. An extraordinary euphoric moment washes throughout her as she feels the child leave her womb. The pale pink flesh of the newborn is washed by the hue of the night, and Sarah falls back as the young boy shuffles his legs under her head.

"Hello Mama!" the factionless woman cries at the same time the howling music of the newborn echoes into the room. There are a few coughs and splutters and the woman cuts the umbilical cord with a small pocket knife she nimbly pulls from her jacket. She then wraps him quickly and passes him into Sarah's waiting arms.

Cradling him, she gently brushes her little finger over his face, biting her lip from her sobbing and the weakness of her body.

"Whatcha going to call him?" The woman stands, brushing her hands off on her pants and Mary weeps behind her.

She looks at the boy briefly above her, "I'm going to call him Jack." She bounces the baby a little trying to get him to stop mewling and smiles at him. "...Jack."

The older woman braces her hands on her hips and gives a hearty nod. "Honored. Now let's sort you out, that ding on your lip is pretty bad and we'll get you where you were going, shall we? You need a doctor, and we know the quickest ways to get you there."

"Thank you," she says but her eyes never leave her baby's face.

* * *

The summer months are the best in Sarah's opinion. She stares out the small window above the sink in the kitchen that looked out beyond the washing lines and a vast grassland that ran up to a lining of trees in the distance while ghosting a finger over the small scar on her bottom lip. For a minute, that all-knowing sensation runs up her spine when she thinks about him; just like always when she thinks of anything in her recent past.

Her parents only live a few houses down, their old home backing onto the same scene in front of her now. Though, she barely ever sees her parents, only in passing at the weekly market where she uses her points to purchase the week's shopping. She doubts they will ever speak again.

Thomas barges his way into the kitchen, running fast and straight up behind her, hugging her back. "Hey!" She turns, rubbing his head. "You ready for school?"

Mary is shortly behind, in her arms cradling Jack wrapped in a plain white blanket. She's cooing to him as she walks, the smile large on her face.

This was Sarah's family now. They'd managed to slip quickly into an ordinary life. One Sarah had always wanted. But her mental scars ran deep no matter how hard she tried to deny them. She would be tempted to say she even wore them in plain sight for everyone to see if they ever bothered to look close enough.

With the weather being decent, she only wears her gray dress, and Mary helps her swaddle the baby in a material holder to her chest. Her two younger siblings then scrabble for the last pieces for school. It doesn't take long till they are peacefully and happily leaving the house, Sarah finally getting her chance to walk them to school which she made sure she did every day.

Thomas holds her hand and Mary walks in a contented silence next to her in the bustle of an Abnegation morning. People greet them politely, no one ever showing them any animosity or suspicion. Nobody really had enough information to doubt their way of living. Sure, there was still rumors over John's drinking and alleged inability to look after them properly. It made more sense that Sarah gave away her duties at Dauntless to become their legal guardian, and the people around them accepted it wholeheartedly, like true Abnegations.

"Trucks!" Thomas shouts as they make their way up the main gravel path towards the schools and other amenities. He pulls on Sarah's arm, tugging her towards them. His obsession with trucks was still bountiful.

Sarah only looks at Mary for a fraction of a second, her sister's face slightly grimacing. "It's okay," she comforts her. "If it hadn't of worked, he would've already found us by now."

Mary nods wordlessly and they mingle with the crowds of her people gathering to watch the spectacle. A lot of them being kids with their parents on the same journey to school. She's reluctant when Thomas drags her to the front where he continues to jump up and down on the spot in excitement. She loses Mary, and through her jostling Jack begins to stir, especially when the voices of the crowd grow louder.

"Thomas," she calls but he's pointing at the trucks and the Dauntless beginning to descend from them. The crowd moves forward, and when a kid runs towards the Dauntless, Thomas is the second to follow. At least the Dauntless patrol humors them for a second, giving her time to hush Jack and sway him from side to side. "Please don't be hungry…" she begs him as his tiny voice increases in volume. "Go back to sleep."

Thomas gets close enough to touch the trucks and Sarah had seen enough. With Jack beginning to belt out his lungs, it was time for them to move on. She hurries forward, touching Thomas' shoulder. "Come on, it's time for school."

"This is so cool!" he exclaims and smiles up at her, bounding off to someone descending from the cab before she can pull him away.

Sarah had been too lenient with her brother recently, he was becoming more forward and brave with every day that passed. He was beginning to act like the rest of the little boys that surrounded them. But it doesn't help her plight to please a newborn, and Jack only seemed to howl louder.

She pats her baby's bum through the material, trying to calm him, paying no mind to the happenings around her as she hums gentle comforts to him.

"Sarah!" Mary's voice carries over the crowd. She turns her head, searching over her shoulder, frowning into the fog of people and bright light from the everbearing sun.

She makes a move to step forward without fully checking in front of her and freezes dead on the spot, not even breathing when coming face to face with a black jacket obscuring her view. Tilting her head up slowly, she already knows who this is just from the amount of times she would usually rest her head against him.

In fear, she doesn't say anything, only Jack wailing between them when she looks into those gray eyes squinted at her, a look between curiosity and annoyance. His eyebrow adorning his piercings quirks up and he inspects the baby at her chest. She dares not move when he reaches out, circling the baby's face with his fingertip and his mouth grimaces for a fraction of a second, his touch becoming hesitant.

Sarah is unable to look away from his face, even when his eyes dart back to hers, still caught in a ghosting squint from the sun. "Cute kid you have there," he mumbles, more to himself it seems.

She swallows dryly, willing herself to say something natural. It doesn't help that she becomes more bewildered when Jack seems to whimper and quieten down when he speaks. "He...he," she stammers, especially as Eric inspects the small scar gracing her lip, "...looks just like his father…"

Eric's stare has never been so intense. Like he could read her, everything. He could see straight through her. Tears sting her eyes and she wills herself to keep it together.

"Sarah!" Thomas bangs into her leg, but she doesn't look away. Too afraid to. Too wanton to see his face. All those nights she sat staring into her baby's eyes that resembled his. "There's three trucks. I saw Ted from school, he tried to open one of the doors…" Thomas trails off, smiling up at Eric in recognition. When neither of them moves, Thomas frowns, pulling Sarah away, finally remembering what he had been taught by his sisters.

The wind picks out pieces of the fine hairs near her face as she turns, her eyes lingering on him for a fleeting moment as he watches the fake smile on her face fade.

He continues to watch her walk away without looking back again. Something at the back of his mind whispered through the chaos. Something ghostly among all coherent thought. A voice in his head that made no sense at all.

"Sarah?"


End file.
